how are you a human

Story Time

Warning Mature Content:

So… tonight I had to kick out 4 passengers from my car while working rideshare…

after the 3 in the back 2 guys and 1 woman started initiating in highly promiscuous not to mention down right grose behavior! Not even 5 mins into what would have been a 16 min ride comon!!

I told them calmly but firmly

“I put up with alot of things but… NOT THIS! I’m pulling over and you are exiting my vehicle… RIGHT NOW!”

I left them under a streetlamp at one of the 101 exit ramps in the middle of nowhere serves them right!

Thankfully they did so without issue. They knew I was pissed!

I think my mom tone sent them straight real fast. I went from happy go lucky driver to angry stern mom voice realy fast once I realised what that heavy panting and moaning was in my back seats.

At first I thought it was somone drunk and sick so I offered barf bags… not the case….

Like how much more disgusting and inapropriate can you possibly be! You frigging animals! Couldn’t keep your urges in check untill you got home you disgusting pigs! I’m prety sure she was a prostitute tho and the two guys in the back seat were paying.

Look I don’t care what you do in your own time but not in my car or around me so I can hear you moan and cry “yea yea get some!” In my back seat you pitiful excuses for humanity!

Oh I was so livid. I think honestly if they had not complied I would have tazed their asses without any hesitance.

Poor Rhythm… luckily nothing was ruined in his back seat I caught them early on. Not before kicking my tablet off its stand tho… uhhg.

But I’m so getting him detailed! Lucky for me I already have been saving a expensive detailed wash I bought a while back for just such an ocasion!

But honestly… don’t “interface” in the back of my car unless you want to risk getting your balls tazed off by yours truly! That is all!!

Disgusting and RUDE!

8

So anyway here’s a doodle comic I started but just… can’t… finish…

I probably have like a year before this variation of Pink and White Diamond are shot to bits so lemme have some fun.

9

IM’S LIKE IT.

i honestly bow down to louis because i don’t know how the fuck he gets through the day without breaking every glass object in sight and punching every wall and screaming out every window at the top of his lungs in complete and utter rage at how fucking scummy his situation is with these nasty fucking stunts and his disgusting useless team that won’t do jack shit for him

fsajlfdsaljkdsfl the entire thing makes my blood boil and i’m not even in the situation so i genuinely have no idea how he manages to deal with this day in and day out while still remaining so strong, kind, humble, and optimistic

“So what is your role?”

“Oh uh. I’m trained to be a biologist, but am currently a poison merchant.”
“Ah. You humans do not manufacture any biologically, so that makes sense. Is it for defence?”
“Uhm. Not really.”
“For… pest control?”
“Haha, nah. More for <<excrement and amusement>>”
“I think there was a translator issue there. What was that?”
I take it your species doesn’t do the recreational ethanol thing, eh?”
“What?!”
Look bys, its a big thing here. Fancy meals are expected to have a poison accompaniment. We brew poisons to try winning world poison competitions. We mix poisons to try and make them taste as much as fruit as possible, or as strong as possible. There’s Expensive Poisons that have smoked ingredients to taste both toxic AND burning. A bit of an acquired taste, that one.”
“….humans are weird.”

3

The first rule about fighting a leprechaun is do not talk to the leprechaun. It only encourages him.

How Dan and Phil probably broke up #44
  • *after some really good sex*
  • Dan: God, that was amazing
  • Phil: I guess you could say that was wonderPHIL
4

Once Ambulante came as a festival and established a network of connections with the audience, it’d be absurd not to keep on going. It’d also be very sad to live in that reality of contrasts where for three months you watch the most important documentaries and then it disappears for the rest of the year.

5

something vaguely moboween

dunno if this is gonna grow into something else but pls just have this for now