how am i not 300 pounds

anonymous asked:

do you think there will ever come a day when you're 100% happy with your physical appearance? only reason i ask is because a part of me resents the many societal expectations we are subjected to on a day to day basis and it seems no matter how many hours we log at the gym or how many nice clothes we purchase or surgeries we have, we will never, ever be able to achieve true perfection. do you see yourself having a stopping point or is this something you will deal with for the rest of your life?

Oh boy, this is one of those million-dollar questions, so I am not going to have a solid answer for this, but I can definitely share my experience.

Will I ever be 100% happy with my physical appearance? No, I don’t think that’s possible for anyone. No matter who you are or how far you’ve come, I can pretty much guarantee you will have something you wish was different.

Now does that mean I’ll never be happy with my body? Of course not. Right now, I’m very happy with the way I look. I want more of course, so I’m not satisfied, but I am happy–more than I’ve been in a long time.

My first gaining foray was a tremendous learning experience. I made a lot of mistakes, but I can say that one of the biggest mistakes was not appreciating what I had. I was so focused on my lofty goals and how far I felt from them, that that whatever size I was felt like nothing to be proud of, even at over 300 pounds.

Only now when I look at old photos do I really appreciate how big I was. Even though I wasn’t the 450-pound beast I dreamed of then (and still do), I can say I really liked how I looked. In the moment though, I thought nothing of it, and I am still upset at myself for that.

The several years in between that first gain and now really cemented in my mind that I did a terrible job appreciating what I had, and just how important that is for long-term success.

The way I see it now, satisfaction sounds nice, but it’s not the goal. I know too many people who save feeling happy with themselves for when they hit a certain weight or a certain size, and that’s foolish. For many of us, the point that you consider the finish line will end up feeling unsatisfying too, because there will always be more to want. It’s a moving target you’ll never reach, and saving your happiness for that point just means you’ll never be happy.

Now, depending on your situation, the idea that you’ll never be finished might sound horrible. If you don’t like the process of dieting or exercising or gaining or whatever it is you’re doing, then the prospect of it never ending sounds miserable. If that is the case for you, that is something to do some serious thinking on.

For me though, my body goals are akin to my art goals. Drawing is like any other skill, in that it is about improvement. If you focus on the people who are better than you, you’ll find it more discouraging than motivating. Because even when you finally reach the level of the person you envied for years, you’ll quickly discover that they felt the same way about someone else. There is no point at which you will feel like there’s no more improvement to be done.

I know my art isn’t the best, but what keeps me going is appreciating how far I’ve come. To be able to look back at my drawings from a year ago and see the difference in skill and quality–that is what’s satisfying. That is what provides motivation to continue.

All this has shaped my perspective coming into this process again. Focusing less on where I want to be, and more on how far I’ve come. It’s easier said than done, of course. There will always be reminders that will bring you down sometimes, but in the long run I believe this is how you keep yourself moving forward.

anonymous asked:

I just did an online calculator for weight loss, and it said I should be eating around 481 calories per meal for weight loss. I know I eat around 200-300 calories per meal, with 100 calorie snacks in-between- (estimating) I've always been doing this and never lost the 5 pounds I've been trying to desperately to lose. Am I not eating enough? If so, how does eating more make me lose weight? I'm restrictive, but I'm scared to eat more. Help

I hope our readers don’t mind, but its obvious we need to continuously answer these questions until its common sense.  

YOU HAVE TO EAT TO LOSE….   When you restrict your body responds.

When you restrict your body responds..

When you restrict your body responds…

The response is to ADAPT to your new lower calorie intake.  

Adaptation includes oxidizing your skeletal muscles & burning them as fuel for your red blood cells & brain & spinal column.  With less muscle you need less fuel & you do a lot less.  ADAPTATION to lower calories = BURNING LESS CALORIES = NO WIN GAME.

The human machinery is programed for famine, if you introduce a famine it bunkers down like a hibernating bear.  Bears slow down their hormone production, metabolism, bodily processes…  turns out so do humans when we create caloric famines.  Lost your period?  oh yeah you told your body with food that its not a good time to carry a child because there simply isn’t enough food.

So people restricting turn themselves into hibernating bears & their body adapts into a super storer to survive by holding on to every gram of fat it can.

So how do you lose weight with this understanding?  You have to EAT TO LOSE.  By increasing the healthy WSLF food in your diet your body has to WORK harder, metabolisms start rebounding in 14 weeks for older adults who have done a lifetime of restriction.  As long as you are completely avoiding added fats in your foods and eating abundantly a diet of whole foods you will have the energy you need to get active & reverse the hibernating bear lifestyle.  

Fat burns as a portion of our fuel & it is not replaced by sugar.   

Fat synthesis from carbohydrate will not exceed fat oxidation after one high-carbohydrate meal, even if it is uncommonly large. When a single high-carbohydrate meal is consumed, dietary carbohydrate merely has the effect of reducing the rate of fat oxidation.

Read that science right there, but live the science in your own life!  In simple terms the study above shows that the fat required to make fat from carbs is MORE than the fat produced…  READ THE NEXT LINE & realize overdoing sugar reduces the rate of fat oxidation.  

So lets recap.  Eat whole starches & you slow the rate you reduce fat oxidation (burning fat).  That means burning fat ALL DAY & ALL NIGHT LONG.  Its impossible to add fat to your body from sugar because it literally takes MORE fat to make fat from sugar than you can get out of the sugar.  

As long as you aren’t refilling your fat tank with every meal your are going to eat to full, ramp up your metabolism eating nutrient rich whole plant foods & effortless burn through your fat tank over the next few months quicker and quicker ALL WHILE NOT GIVING TWO SHITS ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU EAT!  

Its a miracle.  Go & embrace it. #WSLF

anonymous asked:

did you weigh over 300 pounds i am curious how you even accomplished those stretch marks... i've gone up and down by 20 pounds and i have marks but dang, you have like.. a map. rivers. just get some bad skin disease for the mountains and you will be a walking map :D

4

Basically this is the body that I am stuck in and will have to present at the swimming pool and I think I’m okay with that. I’ll probably get a bunch of hate mail for posting this because I’m quote fat, oh and to the last  anon about how I should stop eating and then you said fat is not pretty that’s not true fat and skinny pretty and ugly they aren’t synonyms for either of those words. Someone whose 300 pounds can be absolutely beautiful just like just because you’re skinny doesn’t make you beautiful like a vice a versa people always associate pretty with skinny and fat with ugly. And I’m getting really sick and tired of it because your weight does not define whether you’re pretty or ugly or not. Gosh.

10 months!

Realized today marks 10 months of my fitness journey. I went from over 300 pounds to the 230s! I couldn’t walk more than a few hundred feet before needing to rest, and now I go for 3-4 miles no problem! I am no longer scared to walk into a clothing store, and I’m learning very slowly how to love myself each and every moment. It’s not easy, but it’s amazing to know that I can actually do it!

This is goodbye.

For years I’ve shared my ups and downs and gained and lost followers and support. Yesterday I felt so attacked by one person then others started chiming in. It was disgusting and if you were in any way involved you should be ashamed of yourself.

I’ve never been mean to anyone intentionally and have supported many people in various ways on tumblr over the years. The fact that people think they can tell me how much I weigh is appalling. I’m not over 200 pounds and I never have been. Most of you have never seen me in real life and photos don’t always show what is always there. What if I have a pear shape? What if I am wearing a baggy tshirt or something that is like six sizes too tight? I’m not going to be the same size or look the same as a six foot tall person, I figured everyone already knew that. 

But back to the 200 and 300 pound comments. There’s no reason to shame people that are that weight or have been. You wouldn’t say that to my face or their face. You can’t even say it over a computer screen without going anon. Why are you all so cowardly? You are the one that is too insecure to stand up for your own opinion and stand behind it. All of y'all that commented on my weight and size yesterday FUCK YOU. 

Sorry but if I was over 200 pounds I would not be able to fit into my J.Crew, Vineyard Vines, Lilly Pulitzer, or C. Wonder clothing that I apparently fucking flaunt every where. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WORKING HARD AND BUYING NICE QUALITY CLOTHING. I don’t go out and buy clothing all the fucking time. I buy quality pieces that last for years not shit from forever 21 that falls apart in the washer. I’ve bought probably around 90 percent of all my own clothing without daddy’s credit card so fuck all of you who think I am a spoiled brat. 

My blog has never been a place to feed and fuel negativity like it was yesterday. My body was attacked and so was my mental health which is not okay. The thing that still rattles me to my core is the comment about having ptsd from stepping on a scale and seeing it say 300 pounds. NO ONE CAN ARGUE THAT I LOOK LIKE I WEIGH 300 POUNDS. That is degrading to all the people who weigh 300 pounds and everyone that has PTSD. That is so fucked up on so many levels. My brain looks different physically from people who do not have PTSD and looking down on a scale like that will not cause something like post traumatic stress disorder. That ignorance whether it was joking or not enrages me to no end. 

Today was the first day in a while that I hadn’t walked my dog. I was afraid that that particular person would see me and think that they had a hand in my choice. That isn’t fair to me or my health or my precious dog.

I don’t feel comfortable sharing my life or experiences with my blog anymore. I got attacked by people that choose to visit my blog or follow me. No one ever forced you to pay attention to me and especially no one ever asked you to tear me or let alone, another person down to the level that many of you participated in yesterday.

After two and a half years it is time for me to say goodbye. I wish you all the very best on what ever journey you have next.  

Love you always, 

Kimberlee