how am i gonna like real guys

anonymous asked:

OK, but in an AU where Kazer is legitimately ~involved~, how fucking overwhelmed (and smug, lbr) must Kaner get every time he's hit with evidence of how much Tazer loves him? and then a convo like so takes place: "If you keep this up, people are gonna figure us out." "Maybe I want them to." "What? You've never said..." "I am now." ;)

Lol Jonny is so unsubtle. He should get an award for it tbh. And yes, I imagine it makes Patrick both so cheekily smug and also so bashfully pleased that he feels a little overwhelmed at times. Because let’s be real, Jonny is a very overwhelming kind of guy.

But Patrick definitely shows his love too! Just in quieter, more discreet ways.

Like by his words:

(X)

(X)

By the way his face lights up when Jonny’s nearby:

(X)

(X)

By his concern:

And by his little touches:

(X)

(X)

Also I’m a firm believer that in any universe where they’re together it’s almost impossible for them to keep it from the team. I mean c’mon! Looks at these dorks. SO IN LOVE.

2

worst part of TFA shooting according to Adam Driver

anonymous asked:

Can I please have a heated Jimin shower smut

Originally posted by fyeahbangtaned

for real tho am I gonna say no to this…

the answer is no I’ll never say no to Jimin smut goodbye *flies away*

Also I hope it’s okay that by heated I made it angry sex GOODBYE AGAIN *DIVES INTO PIT OF LAVA*

Words: 1603

He was still mad about the party last night.

Jimin wouldn’t get over how you even met eyes with another guy at that party. You wondered if he enjoyed getting angry or something, because it sure seemed like it with the grudge he was holding this time.

You’d woken him up this morning, but all Jimin did was ignore you. He didn’t even eat the breakfast you’d made him, when he always did after an annoying hang over hit him.

Not wanting to bother his eating, you decided to go take a shower. Jimin had no schedule today, so it would be awkward around the house if you just hung around there. Maybe you could find something useful to do, like get some grocery shopping done? If you cooked his favorite dinner, he always forgave you. Jimin was born to eat.

After undressing, you threw your clothes into the laundry basket and climbed into the shower. You were still tired, so you stood there idly for a minute. 

That was when Jimin came in.

“Get out, I need to shower.” He was half asleep, and shirtless with a towel around his neck. You pushed aside the curtains, mostly in disbelief.

“Excuse me? I’m already in the shower. Wait your turn.”

“You take all the hot water, I’ll only be five minutes.”

“Wait your turn!” You snapped, closing the curtain again like it’d stop him. You could see through the curtains partially, and Jimin was already undressing the rest of himself.

He stepped inside the shower, totally ignoring you. The shower was big enough for both of you, and this definitely wasn’t the first time you’d showered together. Still, it upset you that he didn’t want to wait his own turn.

“Move, I need to get water. Jimin!” The higher pitch your voice was going, the more annoyed the both of you got.

“Just let me shower, I’ll get out after washing my hair.” You muttered, trying to push him aside. Jimin turned swiftly, pinning your back against the cool wall. His face was close to yours, and you could faintly smell the food you’d made on his breath. So he did eat it

“Jimin, come o-” He cut you off, running a cold hand down your body all the way to your ass. Lightly, Jimin squeezed it, making you push closer against his body.

“All those guys looking at you last night…” He muttered, voice rough and low. Lightly, Jimin dragged his hand up to your breast, throat, neck, until he was cupping your chin. You couldn’t meet his eyes for some reason, so he made you look at him forcefully.

Water was hitting him so nicely. Jimin had water streaming down his shoulders, and his hair was slicked back so his forehead showed prettily. His eyes were narrowed to slits, and he chewed on his bottom lip.

“Did you hear me?”

You nodded. “I heard you.”

“Should I show you whose you are? Do you not know?” He kept on with his low voice, almost making you shiver.

“I’m yours, Jimin-”

“I don’t believe you.” Jimin practically sang, moving his face closer to yours. Without either of you closing your eyes, Jimin sucked your bottom lip between his teeth, biting it hard enough to draw blood.

He finally let your lip free, eyes boring into yours. Jimin leaned close to you, with one hand holding onto the wall near your head. His hand slid down to the nape of your neck, lightly caressing his fingers along your collarbone.

“I think I have to show you.”

“Okay. Show me.” You agreed, beginning to anticipate what he was about to do with you. You raised your leg around him, pulling his lower region closer to yours.

“Stop being so anxious, I’m in charge here.” He purred against you, moving his lips to your neck. Jimin pressed his lips hard, not bothering to care if he left marks on you. His kisses were rough, and he took his sweet time on sucking in the same spot over and over. You were going to be left purple after this, obviously.

“Jimin, I-”

“Be quiet.” He ordered you, pushing your head back against the wall so that you were looking up at the ceiling. Half of Jimin’s body was pressing yours against the wall, so you were basically stuck there while he did what he wanted.

Your hand closed around Jimin’s member, and even though it was a cramped space, you still tried your best to jerk him off. You ran your thumb along his slit, before bringing the spilling pre-cum down his shaft and working him out.

His lips froze on yours for a second, before picking up twice as hungrily. You held tightly, and brought your hand up his member in a slight spinning motion. Jimin’s hand fell onto your breast, and he lightly fondled it. He picked his head up, giving you enough space to begin kissing his shoulder. You lightly nipped at it while bringing your hand up and down his shaft, and he let out what sounded like an irritated groan.

“You’re mine…”

“Mmm,” you replied, pulling his face down to yours. Jimin’s already swollen lips pressed unforgivably against yours, immediately making you open your mouth for his tongue.

He began to shiver a little, so you knew he was close. Jimin’s hand caught yours as it moved up and down his shaft. Your lips broke contact, and his eyes met yours.

“Suck me off.” He commanded, lightly pushing your shoulders down. Jimin was going to cum into your mouth, you both knew it.

You got to your knees, immediately licking his head and taking as much of him as you could into your mouth. Jimin sharply sucked in a breath, holding your hair with tight fingers. He thrust deeper into your mouth, almost making you choke.

You didn’t move slow, knowing that’s not what he wanted. Your head began to bob up and down his cock, and sometimes you stopped just to use your tongue on his slit or dick head.

Jimin came quickly after you began to suck him off, and you swallowed all of it, without leaving anything. Jimin pulled you back up to him, not hesitating to press his lips to yours again. His hands roamed freely this time, pulling your legs apart.

“You’re wet even without the water, (Y/N)ah…” Jimin murmured against your lips, rubbing your core with his middle finger. He teased a digit inside, before pulling out almost fully.

“N-no don’t…” You whined, placing your hand on his wrist so you could push his finger in farther.

“It’s not going in any farther.”

“Don’t tease me-” You closed your eyes, leaning your head back against the wall. Jimin snorted, pulling his finger again.

“Like this? You want this, or don’t?”

“I don’t!” You held onto Jimin’s shoulders, biting your lip to keep from screaming at him.

“Oh, you do?” Jimin added another finger, wearing a grim smile that made you unhappy. You couldn’t help it, though. He felt really good. Jimin curled his fingers inside of you, wrapping his other hand around your waist so you wouldn’t move as much.

“Do you want me?” He wondered, biting the bottom of your lobe playfully. You simply breathed out an answer, letting him know you did. Jimin’s lips kissed from your cheekbone to neck.

“In the shower?”

“Mm, I don’t care-oh.” He’d hit a really good spot. Jimin kept pressing his fingers against the spot, achingly slow. You bucked your hips to get more pressure, but Jimin’s fingers weren’t getting any longer.

“In the shower, in the shower. I can’t wait.” You took his member in your hand again, pumping a few times so he’d grow harder.

Jimin took his fingers out of you. He didn’t bother to suck them clean, he was too eager for something else. He held himself, pressing against your middle. Jimin picked up your thigh to gain better entrance, before pushing himself inside of you.

“God…” You groaned, pressing your nails into Jimin’s shoulders. He leaned his face closer to yours, but neither of you beckoned for a kiss.

He began to move, and you were glad it was against the good spot. He wasn’t going to last long, having just finished only minutes before entering you. Jimin’s face already twisted with pleasure, his mouth agape with no sound escaping.

He moved without rhythm, which was fine. It was fast and hard, which is all that mattered. His hands held your waist, helping you push down as he thrust deeper inside of him.

“Fuck, you’re clawing really hard. No, I didn’t say stop.”

It was true, your fingernails were digging into him like there was no tomorrow. You didn’t stop, though. You definitely wouldn’t be able to hold yourself up properly if you weren’t holding onto Jimin.

“Jimin…” You moaned, and he followed along with a quiet groan of your name. He was close. You were just getting there, your core heating up more and more each thrust.

His thrusting was fast, and Jimin went so hard that every time he went back in you hit the wall, hard. The water was cold, but neither of you seemed to care anymore.

“Fuck, fuck!” You cried out, and he finished for the second time. You came not long after, while he was riding out his orgasm. 

“Now what are you going to do about a shower?” You mumbled when he pulled out. Jimin turned off the water, dragging open the curtains while looking back at you.

“Wait my turn. You go first.”

4

favourite characters - shinpachi nagakura (hakuouki)

“How do I put it… It’s like, if we stay here, and this keeps up, then what we’ve been doing with our lives isn’t gonna mean what we wanted. Kondou-san and Hijikata-san have always wanted to be real samurai, but I never really cared about that. I just can’t get my head around busting ass for some lord I didn’t even choose. How am I supposed to risk my neck for a guy like that? I don’t mind getting shot at by those rebel punks, and I’m not scared of getting cut open. It’s just that… I don’t wanna be dying and think ‘Damn, I wish I’d done that thing differently.’ You know?”

swan: hey guys i know you’re superstars and all but there’s a drop off right behind us and i’m not really sure how deep it is

taylor: k hang on… “hey can you take a pic of us!”

swan: …ok but like if we don’t move fast we’re gonna fall of the ledge behind us…

taylor: chill…i gotta post this on insta real quick to kill my fans

swan: ok but GUYS

swan: WE ARE GOING TO DIe

‘the fire alarm went off at 3 am and now the cute guy from the flat next door is standing next to me in his underwear’ AU

Gonna change this AU a little. And how! (as always, I take requests)

After your father makes a visit to your apartment and discovers your fridge almost bare but your pantry full with cookies and snack cakes, he buys you a cookbook.

“Laura Hollis, you are going to cook yourself a meal. A real meal. And when you’re done I want you to send me a picture.”

“Dad, why?”

“So I know you did it, sweetheart. Unless you want me to stay while you cook…”

Of course you don’t want him babysitting you, so you agree to his demands. The next night you open the book and find a spaghetti with pesto sauce recipe that sounds good. Dad never said you had to make everything yourself, so you buy a jar from the store. The only thing you have to cook is the spaghetti. And how hard could that be?

But you’re Laura Hollis, and you always had a knack for finding ways to mess things up. You get a phonecall from LaFontaine after you put the spaghetti into the water; you forgot to set a timer. LaF keeps you talking while the water boils. And evaporates. And the spaghetti catches on fire. You turn around casually, notice, and scream.

“LAFONTAINE I WILL NEED TO CALL YOU BACK.” The fire spread up to the curtains. You’re spraying the curtains with the hose next to the kitchen sink, but the fire alarm goes off. Legally, you’re all stuck outside standing in the grass until the fire department comes.

Amazingly, no one has figured out that you’re the one who caused the fire, which is good for you. Because from the looks on everyone’s faces, a lynch mob was a distinct possibility.

“I cannot believe I have to stand outside at night in the middle of winter wearing a cami and shorts.” You mutter to yourself, shivering.

“God, you’re telling me.”

You turn around to the source of the voice, and you swear your jaw drops to the floor.

She lives on a different floor than you, and other than passing her on the way to get the mail sometimes you’ve both never spoken. Of course you never thought she was unattractive, you weren’t blind, but you never noticed how attractive she was until she was standing in front of you. In a towel. And nothing else.

“Urgh…”

“Eyes are up here.” She says dryly.

“Er, uh, no, sorry! I wasn’t, um, trying to be weird or anything. It’s just that you must be, uh…” You swallow. “…Cold?”

She shrugs. “Was about to take a shower when that alarm went off.”

“Oh.”

“Aren’t you the neighbor that always gets cookies in the mail?”

You’re a member of the ‘cookie of the month club’ and you tell her as much. Hey, what can you say? Dad didn’t like to get you sweets. You wanted to live it up a little.

“Wow, why am I not surprised?”

“Not surprised at what?”

“Not surprised that getting cookies in the mail is your idea of rebellion.” She answers, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. “You looked like it.”

“Hey, not all of us are blessed with that broody, ‘uncover my tragic past to find my heart of gold’ look.” You retort.

Your neighbor raises an eyebrow. “Wow, broody has been used before, but I have to admit as a whole I’ve never had anyone describe me like that before.” A breeze hits you and you shiver.

“Cold, cutie?”

You nod.

“Here.”

She unwraps the towel and you swear you’re about to faint. You let out a little squeak and cover your eyes.

“Relax, I’m decent. Mostly.”

You allow yourself to lower your hands slowly. She’s still wearing her bra and panties.

“What…?”

“I just wanted to see the look on your face.” She admitted.

“Are you serious?” You take the towel from her hand. Your anger softens slightly. “But you must be colder than me right now…”

“Naw, cold doesn’t bother me. Hate to let a cute girl like you freeze to death.”

You blush. She called you cute. In fact, this was the second time.

“So,” you say, wrapping the towel around your shoulders, “Since you’re sharing your towel with me while you stand outside in your underwear, I feel like we should be on a first name basis. My name is Laura.” You extend a hand. She takes it.

“Carmilla. That towel help at all?” Of all the scenarios you imagined when you left home, shaking hands with a mysterious, extremely attractive half-naked stranger outside your building was not one of them.

Independence was even better than you thought.

“Yeah! Thanks Carmilla.” You really like the name. It suited her.

“Well, I’m glad you like it. Would you mind if I shoved it down the throat of whoever got us into this mess?”

You laugh, a little too hard. “Haha sure of course I’ll even help you they totally deserve it don’t they I hate them whoever they are totally–”

“It was you, wasn’t it?”

“…My dad told me to, so really it’s his fault!” You exclaim.

Carmilla gives you a once over. She laughs. “Wow, talk about irony. I must have scared you, didn’t I?”

You smile uneasily. “Yeah.”

She looks around at the other people milling around the street. “Well, I guess this wasn’t all bad. Beats spending a night by myself watching netflix…and talking to you wasn’t bad either.”

The fire department finishes checking out the apartments. Carmilla looks back at you.

“What are you going to do for dinner now?” She asks.

“I don’t know. Dad made me promise to send him a picture of me eating spaghetti–”

“I know how to make spaghetti. Obviously I’ll need to take care of this,” she looked down at herself. “But after that?”

“Are you asking me to have dinner with you? Like a dinner date?” You blurt out. You cover your mouth. You don’t even know if Carmilla likes girls–

“If you want to call it that, cutie, sure.”

You’re pretty sure you’ve never been so shocked and happy at the same time.

“But–but–why?” 

Carmilla doesn’t answer for a moment. She finally laughs softly. “I don’t know. You’re adorable and I’m kind of getting a kick out of it?”

Works for you. 

Later that night your dad gets tagged in a photo on facebook. You’re sitting in your apartment, at your kitchen table, beaming next to a plate of spaghetti. Carmilla is next to you, hair in a messy bun, wearing ripped jeans and a flannel shirt. She’s obviously amused by how proud you look.

The fire department had to be called, but here’s the spaghetti I promised my dad I’d make (see, I can eat like a normal person)! Plus I got my new friend Carmilla to help me! #friends #worst night ever #but also best :)