I wanna talk about a Kaikaina Grif who isn’t as shallow of a character as she was made to seem in cannon. I wanna talk about the Kaikaina Grif who lost her mother at a young age. The Kaikaina Grif who grew up colourblind. The Kaikaina Grif who was never really good at anything useful. The Kaikaina Grif who loves sex and alcohol and parties, and throws a big “F U” to anyone who thinks less of her because of it. The Kaikaina with big boobs and huge thighs, who’s chubby and sexy and knows it. The Kaikaina Grif who’s into boys and girls and nb peeps because as long as you’re good with your tongue and dtf gender doesn’t matter.
I wanna talk about Grif sibling headcannons. Big brother Dexter stepping in as a parental figure when their mother left. Dexter talking to a young Kaikaina about colours; Describing them with emotions and feelings so she can understand them better. Dexter teaching a young Kaikaina the limited amount of Hawaiian he knows, and singing her songs, and making sure she knows her roots. Dexter learning how to dye/style hair, coordinate outfits, and keeping up with fashion trends so his little sister wont feel insecure about her appearance. A Dexter who will beat the living hell out of anyone who talks shit about his sister’s sex life, and a Kaikaina who will kick the dick/punch the tit of anyone who talks shit about her brother’s weight. A pair of scary Grif siblings who will both beat your ass if you talk shit about their ethnicity.
I wanna talk about Kaikaina coming back to Blue Team. Imagine Her reaction when she finds out the cop is now the team leader. Imagine her slowly warming up to Wash, and finally deciding he’s pretty cool (for a cop). Imagine Kaikaina flirting with a flustered Washington. Imagine her relationship with Tucker that consists of mostly casual sex, dirty jokes, high fives, and good vibes. Imagine Kaikaina talking to Caboose, and becoming best friends with him, because she’s such a friendly person and he’s so non-judgmental. Imagine Kaikaina seeing Freckles and saying “You guys guys have a dog that looks like a gun?!” Imagine her meeting Carolina and absolutely loving that there’s another girl on the team. Imaging Kaikaina and Carolina talking about girl stuff and bonding. (Bonus: imagine Carolina making her first real female friend in Kai.) Imagine Kaikaina and Church being super awkward, since he doesn’t really know how to talk to her, and she doesn’t really understand the whole AI thing, but she’s not as annoying as Caboose and robots are pretty cool.
On the topic of Kaikaina coming back, I wanna talk about Kaikaina visiting Red Team. Imagine her only calling Grif by his first name and how salty it makes him. Imagine Sarge raving about Blue Team sending over spies and telling her not to come back. Imagine her calling Sarge old and gross and coming back anyway. Imagine Simmions stuttering and stumbling over his words whenever she’s around. Imagine Kaikaina flirting with a flustered SImmions. Imagine Kaikaina not knowing the difference between pink and lightish red, so she totally believes Donut when he says they’re different. Imagine Kaikaina making an attempt to learn Spanish for Lopez, and developing a Donut level comprehension of it. Imagine Lopez warming up to her because she’s the only one who tried. Imagine Kaikaina just being friends with everyone because that’s just how she roles.
I just wanna talk about Kaikaina Grif forever, because she deserves so so so much more than what she’s been given in the show, and she has so much potential for greatness.