how a gentleman should act

This might come off as controversial.  

I have never had a girlfriend, and no girl in my entire history has ever liked me when I liked her.  In fact, I’m not even sure if any girl has ever liked me.  Maybe it’s because i tend to fall for whoever i’m closest to, and in this case, all the girls I’ve liked have been my best friends (still are) who I talk to about everything.  I fell for them much after we established our bestfriendship. 

Now because we were best friends, I knew them very well, and I would do things for them that were specific to them. Whether it be, composing a song in their favourite key, finding things from their favourite shows, or other more personal things.  But while it was really nice, it didn’t make them like me.  

I got to be really negative, thinking things like “I did all this, and you sitll don’t like me?”   Now I realize it was selfish.  Now you might say that “oh it might ruin the best friendship if you guys dated”, but if you’re best friends, you should be able to get through anything right?  Because you’ve been friends for a long time, you’ve obviously had enough fights and you’ve obviously gotten through them ,so what less than a relationship?  

Now I see those sweet gestuers not as failed ploys, but as nice things I did to make them happy.  I know now that t’s important to put thier happiness above my own.  Just because I can’t be “with” them doesn’t mean I can’t make her happy.  If you truly care about her, you’ll do anything for her, regardless if yo’re with her or not.  DOn’t be a douchebag who just leaves when he realize she’s been friendzoned or has no “chance”.  And who knows, maybe she’ll realize that the true love has been right under her nose, all along. *wink*

A gentleman does not dread the friendzone.

anonymous asked:

Hi there! I work in a pub in Sydney, in a very Korean heavy area, and I thought you may like to read this story. I was cleaning a table in the smoking area when an old dickhead english tourist (I know he was a tourist because he was staying in the hotel part and had previously mentioned it) started mouthing off at a lady of aboriginal descent for being a different colour. Before any of the bouncers (we don't tolerate any form of harassment in the establishment) could ask him to leave, (cont)

an even older, tiny Korean lady with a walking stick advanced on him, and proceeded to berate the absolute shit out of him, even going so far as to throw out things like “How dare you, that is not how an elderly gentleman should act!”, “I immigrated here and I still speak better English than you!” and “The fault is your own you senile racist bastard, go back to where you live and take you bigotry with you!” When the older guy was yelling at this poor middle aged woman, she just looked like she wanted to disappear, but as the elderly Korean lady stood up for her, she started looking so much better and finally the bouncers threw the guy out and two two ladies had a few drinks together after and whenever they’re in the pub now they sit at the same table and share their lives and I think it’s just really awesome, especially since the guy tried to come back the next day and all the regulars asked him to leave as they didn’t tolerate bigotry at all.

Wow, that is a pretty awesome story. It just shows the power we all have to create change, defy the norm of just being the bystander and to look after someone when they’re in need. This made me smile and all warm and fuzzy inside. Us PoC must look out for each other, it’s just so important.

It really seems like this is a problem that many guys (and girls) have.   And this is a problem that a good friend of mine has.

Her boyfriend see’s fit that she should be more submissive.  He doesn’t trust her.  Even when she goes out with her family and friends, he thinks that she’ll go out and cheat on him.  Now, jealousy is a common thing for girlfriends and boyfriends to have.  But having it above a certain level is just wrong. 

Just because she is “yours” doesn’t mean you get to own her.  A relatonship is a two-way street.  One person does not get to order the other person around.  In fact, a relationship is filled with the opposite: compromise.  If you have a problem with something talk about it first, rather than jumping to conclusions and ordering your significant other around.  

My friend feels trapped in her relationship, yet she feels obligated to do what her boyfriend says.  This shouldn’t happen.

 A relationship isn’t filled with obligation. A relationship is filled with choice. 

I really think other people should know this.  Too many girls and guys suffer from abusive relationships.

*Submitted by Anonymous.

This is something I continually must remember. I thank the submitter.

I am a very talkative person.  I love conversation.  One might say that I am very dependent on other people, and base my happiness on others.  I love talking to people. I love giving/receiving good morning texts, getting messages in the middle of the day, and long phone calls.  I think I love it because i seldom have any of these happen to me.  

As a result, I tend to text a lot.  Not texting, but giving out messages.  If someone responds, I’m usually the person to say “hello?” repeatedly.  As a result, many people find me annoying, clingy, creepy, and just weird.  I dont deny what I did; I deserve to be called so.  I’m sure other guys have had similar problems.  it took me a while to realize what I had been doing.  

Sometimes, it’s best to back off. It pains me to say it, but girls do like guys who don’t give them a LOT of their attention. Sure, a girl would like a guy to be there for them, to text them, but too much of a good thing is a bad thing. And a guy who texts too much or messages frequently is definitely a bad thing.  You can say “you care” which is great, you should care, but she may not see it that way.  You may be filled with the desire to text her 24/7, but that doens’t mean you should.

A gentleman knows when to back off and leave a girl alone. Clingy-ness isn’t always appreciated.  I know, because I’m going through the same thing.