how a car can give me so many feelings

Eyes Closed (M)

G-Dragon: Angst/Small amount of fluff/Smut

PART 3: You Always Hurt the One You Love

A/N: All right this one is out before midnight for once! haha. This is finally a more Ji-Yong-centric part and I felt way too many feelings writing this but I hope you all enjoy none the less! xx

P.S. please by all means leave me your thoughts/comments about how you like/dislike how the story is going so far. I’d really love to know where I can improve and/or what things I am doing that you all like.

P.P.S this was the song that was playing in the car, give it a listen!

(Part One)||(Part 2-A)||(Part 2-B)||(Part 4)


      Sitting in the rear seat of the black tinted windowed SUV, Ji-Yong absentmindedly played with the threads that were poking out from the rip on the knees of his jeans. The men accompanying him in the car sat in a comfortable silence as they were all far too exhausted from having been woken up so early; at least early to them. Just when they got comfortable being home, they get ripped right out of their comfortable bed sheets only to be shipped off to some other city. Another city, another photoshoot and yet it was still the same monotonous thing over and over again.

      Dawning his sunglasses Ji-Yong stared out the window and nodded his head to the faint sound of the music coming from the car speakers.

      ‘Haunted by secrets, my lips are sealed

      All of your demons it turns out they’re real

      The shadows on the wall, will watch me as I crawl

      But you know how to make me come back

      I’m just a monster that you’ll never fear’

      He shook his head out of his thoughts; somehow they always managed to be about her. He couldn’t understand it really, he would drink to forget but he always remembered. Always. Even when he was drunk out of his mind he could swear he’d hear her call out to him, swear that he heard his phone go off and that it was her finally willing to talk to him. But somehow it always just managed to be his imagination. He thought it was like some kind of cruel joke his mind liked to play on him although he wasn’t sure if this was actually some sick, deep seeded pleasure he got from torturing himself or if he had just completely lost it. He couldn’t even sleep without seeing her, the only time he’d actually get a decent night’s rest was ironically when he was piss ass drunk, but even then the hallucinations of her in the room was like dangling forbidden fruit right before him that was always just barely out of reach. Like the other night at Seungri’s friend’s club he could have sworn he saw her in the distance intermingled with the other just as intoxicated people in the club. But from his seemingly permanent seat at the booth he knew she was just another hallucination; just a fever dream of attaining the unattainable. There’d even be instances when he’d actually get to the point in the night where he would ‘forget’ her long enough that’d he’d go home with someone for once, but in the end they were never good enough; they weren’t her. At times he’d even feel terrible because every single time without fail he’d picture her being the one he was taking out his frustrations on but none of his paramours or lovers alike could satiate the undeniable hunger within him. I guess ‘Misery’ simply loved the company but very rarely did he love to keep it.

      ‘Why won’t you ever let me leave?

      Just fucking let me out

      Every time that I’m out of reach she says “turn around”

      “Yah, can you turn the music off…” he spoke.

      The suddenness of his voice filling the car startled a sleeping Dae-Sung and Seungri; whom of which was drooling on Dae-Sung’s shoulder.

      “Ahh, but Hyung that’s a good song it’s nice and mellow it was–”

      “I can’t hear myself think” Ji-Yong cut off the maknae “besides I hate that song…”

      Young-Bae threw him a half lidded side-eye.

      “Yah Ji-Yongie-ah” the oldest of the five spoke up “If that song brings up bad memories you just have to say so…”

      “Hyung!–” Ji-Yong readied himself to put up a fight, only for his actions to be cut short by a tired hand from Young-Bae on his shoulder.

      “Hyung, do you really want to piss him off at this close of a proximity”

      The eldest man simply shrugged and cozied himself up in his coat that was haphazardly strewn across his body.

      Ji-Yong sighed and slouched back into his seat.

      Seeing that the commotion had subsided the men returned to their previous positions as they tried to relax before a grueling day of getting unwillingly pampered and shoved into clothes that despite their appearance they were deceivingly itchy.

      Ji-Yong sighed again and pulled his phone from his pant pocket, these days he had kept his distance from social media but every so often he liked to make an appearance to appease the masses on Instagram. Opening the app he scrolled through his photos to find a selfie he had taken previously, added a cute~ caption and posted it. As if almost instantaneously the number of likes he received was by the thousands; the thought of it almost made him want to chuckle. Curious what he had missed in his absence from the world of social media he decided to check the photos he had been tagged in; every now and again he’d find some kind of amazing fan art or just a hilarious edit of one of the members. Scrolling through there was a picture of him from an old concert here, a picture of him drunk with some fangirl there; just an unintentional collage of Ji-Yong. The further he scrolled the more he began to notice he had been tagged multiple times in some picture of two people kissing.

      ‘Dear god another dating rumor?’ He thought.

      He kept scrolling past but seeing as I the amount of times he was tagged in that same picture, his curiosity had gotten the best of him. Only, I’m sure looking back he’d probably wish it hadn’t.

      And as clear as day, there she was; just as beautiful as ever but in the arms of another man no less. He felt an array of emotions, just seeing her in that state and just the thought of what had probably occurred between the two of them later that night made him sick. Feeling like his heart had tanked to the floor, a jealousy from deep within began to rear it’s ugly head. Just what did this douche bag have that he didn’t? He had, had to endure the pain of seeing her  in magazines gallivanting around with the annoyingly perfect men of Hollywood but this just seemed to hurt him more somehow.

      He scrolled down to read the comments.

      ‘Omo, she is so lucky!~’

      ‘WHo is that with her???? Damn! *faints*’

      ‘I totally know who that is (¬‿¬)’

      ‘Wtf how does she date all these people?!!!!’

      ‘I wish someone would kiss me like that (ಥ﹏ಥ)’

      ‘Pfffft well if this isn’t a fuck you to that dragon guy ╭∩╮(^3^)╭∩╮’

      ‘Wait how do you know who that is with her???’

      ‘Haha that’s Suho from EXO! My friend was at that party, she said she saw them together most of the night. She said Alex was pretty drunk and her and Suho were just like all over eachother *shrugs*’

      ‘What party?! DETAILS PLEASE!’

      ‘Some grand opening to some new club in Gangnam. I don’t have much details other than that, my friend is the one that lives in Korea not me (ಥ_ಥ)’

      ‘Holy shit…’ Ji-Yong thought ‘So–so I did see her the other night…it wasn’t just some fucked up dream I had’

      He bent over in his seat and placed his head between his hands, all this time– the past two days he had been mulling over and over again in his mind about that night when he thought he saw her and he actually had. He was mentally kicking himself for, for once not following his indiscretions and just going up to her. All this time, he could have heard her speak for the first time in months, he could have listen to her laugh, he could have been the one that was in that photo, he could have been the one that ended his night with her; but no, the better man had won.

      ‘Pffft, better man…’ he scowled ‘that ostentatious fuck…’

      Sitting upright in his seat again, he clenched his jaw and balled up his fist so hard his knuckles went white. He couldn’t believe that once again this asshole was the cause to all his problems. He couldn’t believe that he was stupid enough not to realize she was actually within reach and once again he had let her go. His chest started heaving up and down harder and harder the angrier he got.

      ‘ARGH!’ he pulled back his arm and took a hard swing at the plastic frame of the car window and completely smashing it in the process.

      The other men in the car just looked at each other awkwardly at the enraged man’s outburst.

      Noticing the blood cascading from from his best friend’s hand, Young-Bae went wide eyed.


      “What?!” he clenched his eyes shut and with a shaky, unbattered hand pulled out his pack of cigarettes.

      “Not to make the situation worse but, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” his best friend gestured with his hand “You crazy son of a bitch, look at your fucking hand! What the fuck Ji-Yong?!” rolling down the partition to the driver he demanded that he immediately take them to the hospital.

      Managing to light his cigarette with one hand Ji-Yong spoke nonchalantly.

      “Yah, Young-Bae I’m fine…I don’t even feel anything…”


      The other men in the car just continued to glance at each other awkwardly, not trying to make any sort of eye contact with the other two men.



      “YAH!” the eldest’s voice boomed “Young-Bae you yelling at this Pabo isn’t helping. Ji-Yong, what-the-fuck?  What the hell could have happened to you in the past five minutes that you go and not only break the company car but you break your goddamn hand?!”

      With the cigarette dangling between his lips, he let out a sardonic chuckle.

      “Have a look for yourself…” he said barely above a whisper and tossed his phone in their general direction.

      Upon arrival the doctor had diagnosed that Ji-Yong had a Boxer’s fracture; in short he had broken the first two knuckles of his right hand. After pulling out the shards of plastic, stitching up the gaping wounds on his hand and wrapping his hand and forearm up in a cast he was free to go.

      He sat on the edge of the hospital bed in an almost catatonic state, staring blankly at the linoleum flooring solely being consumed by his thoughts.

      Young-Bae and a very cautious Seungri walked into the room slightly alarmed at their friend’s zombie like state.

      “Yah, Ji-Yong-ah the doctors said you’re free to go”

      No response.

      “We can go to TOP Hyung’s house and drink some wine and–”

      “He’s not supposed to drink while he’s on the medication Hyung..” Seungri interjected.

      Young-bae side eyed Seungri.

      “We can watch a movie so you don’t have to make an effort to talk to us?”

      Still no response.

      Seungri stepped forward and took a shaky breath before speaking.

      “Hyung, I failed you. If you wanna hit me go ahead, I deserve it” he preemptively winced.

      Ji-Yong pushed him away “I’m fine let’s go..” and he hopped off the hospital bed

      “But Hyung aren’t you mad at me?”

      “No Seungri, I’m not mad at you…” he kept walking toward the door somberly.

      Seungri and Young-Bae glanced at each other and walked out after him

      “But Hyung don’t wanna hit me? It would make you feel better” the maknae cleared his throat.

      Jiyong stopped in his tracks turning to face Seungri.

      “The only thing that would make me feel worse is inflicting undeserved pain on someone who’s done nothing wrong to me” he turned on his heel and continued toward the exit.

      The other two glanced at each other again, Young-Bae simply mouthed ‘Do something!’

      “Hyung if you’re playing hard to get its working, just hit me! It’s ok i swear!”

      Keeping to his onset silence, Seungri received no reply.

      “Ok well if you’re not mad at me who are you mad at?!” Young-Bae smacked the maknae on the back of the head.

      Not turning around he spoke in a monotone voice.

      “Myself…” he pushed passed the frosted glass doors revealing a smiley Dae-Sung with a bouquet of flowers in hand and a just as ecstatic Seung-Hyun that were both happy to see their leader one piece; so to speak.

      “Hey, there he is!” Dae-Sung motioned to hand over the flowers to Ji-Yong but he simply brushed him off and headed toward the town car in waiting.

      “Aish, what’s with him?” Dae-Sung furrowed his brows “I thought the Oxycodone would’ve made him tolerable for once…you’d think that being who he is he wouldn’t let some girl get him like that..if I was her I wouldn’t blame her for not wanting to get back with that mess of a ma–”

      “Yah!” Seung-Hyun smacked him on the back of the head “go get in the car!”

      Dae-Sung rubbed the back of his head and mutter incoherent nothings to himself.

      Walking up to the older man, Young-Bae placed a hand on his shoulder and sighed. Watching his best friend slide inside of the car, he couldn’t help but feel pity for him. He felt somewhat guilty. He had known she was back in Seoul, he knew about her and Suho but he didn’t tell Ji-Yong because he felt like he was protecting him; but it made him wonder if he was more so protecting himself. Protecting himself from what he wasn’t sure.

      “What are we gonna do Hyung?”

      Seung-Hyun blew a puff of air from his mouth “I really don’t know, I didn’t think he could get any worse but this just takes the cake”

      Young-Bae bit his lip and nodded.

      “Would talking to her at this point even help?” the eldest man raised an eyebrow.

      The dreaded man sighed again “Honestly, Hyung I don’t think that’d make it any better. I know he says he always says he just wants to see her but truthfully I think talking her would make him worse if that’s even humanly possible…besides I’m pretty sure that is a lost cause”

      This time the eldest man nodded.

      “I spoke to Tim the day after the club and he told me Suho had come back that morning and checked on her and that he was laying it on pretty thick; flowers in hand and all–”

      “Pfft, Jesus…” Seung-Hyun raised his eyebrows.

      “He also told me that she texted Tim later that night telling him about how excited she was for tonight, that Suho was supposedly coming back from Paris and he was going to take her on a ‘real’ date..”

      “Wah…that guy’s not fucking around huh?”

      Young-Bae shook his head “Aish, Hyung I just wish he would stop being so stupid and talk to her! I mean I know why she doesn’t want to talk to him but if he really did love her as much as he complains about all the time then why not fight for her instead of letting this stupid picture get to him?! While he’s over here breaking shit for no other reason other than letting his fucking ego get in the way, this douche is over here getting the girl. The more Ji-Yong mopes and sulks in his own self pity, the further away she’s getting”

      The older man shrugged.

      “I can’t let this happen, not just because Ji-Yong is my best friend but I also just straight up don’t trust that guy. Tim and I both agree that we feel like he’s up to something…I just don’t know what it is yet”
      Seung-Hyun replaced his hand on the younger man’s shoulder and nodded his head. He didn’t really know what to say, while he loved Ji-Yong he hated this self-destructive monster he had become; he hated the entire situation to be honest. The entire thing had him confused, being that Ji-Yong was the one that ended things to begin with he didn’t entirely blame her for wanting nothing to do with him. On the other hand, knowing how much he loved her and how much he regretted letting her go for no other reason other than being a complete coward, he wanted his friends to be just like they were when they first started dating; up until that point he hadn’t seen Ji-Yong as happy as he was in a long time. Now, all he saw was the pathetic shell of a man he once called his friend, this new Ji-Yong wasn’t the same guy he had know since they were kids. He always feared that one day or another one of them would let their celebrity status get to their heads and being at the place Ji-Yong was at the time, he never would have guessed that G-Dragon was there to stay once the stage lights shut off. Now more so than ever. He never minded Ji-Yong’s partying ways, or his promiscuity but when it got to the point where G-Dragon became his scapegoat and it was his catalyst for hurting Alex, he just slowly began to resent him. Seung-Hyun knew everything, he knew about every spat, every little fight, every time they’d say words they never meant to each other; he knew everything.

      “WHERE IS SHE?” Ji-Yong cried.
      “Ji-Yong calm down” Young-Bae tried to pacify his extremely intoxicated friend.
      “Yah! Young-Bae I fucked up, I FUCKED UP” he wailed with hot tears streaming down his face “I lost her, I FUCKING LOST HER”
      “Ji-Yong, jinja calm-down”
      “How the fuck do you want me to calm down when I ruined everything?! Ahh Young-Bae, I’m done!”
      “Done with what?” he furrowed his brows.
      “With this, with everything! I don’t wanna do this anymore!”
      “What are you talking about?”
      “Just let me drink until I can’t fucking feel anything anymore…I don’t want to feel anything…I’m fucking useless, all I do is fuck everything up”
      “No you don’t what the hell are you talking about?”
      “I-I screwed up” Ji-Yong slurred his words “she hates m-me, she hates me…”
       “Ok listen to me” Young-Bae took his best friend’s face between his hands “you are fucking drunk, just stop talking for a second and think about what you’re saying”
      “All I do is make her cry…” he said absentmindedly, completely ignoring his friend’s pleas.
      “Ok, Ji-Yong listen to me” taking his friend’s face in his hands again “Stay right here and drink this water ok? Give me a second a I’ll be right back”
      Ji-Yong simply nodded as he cradled himself back and forth on the hotel room bed.
      Stepping into the bathroom Young-bae pulled out his phone and quickly searched for Alex’s number. The phone rang three times before he got an answer.

      ‘Hello?’ her voice sounded hoarse.
      “Alex? Where are you?”
      ‘I’m with Jackson, Tim and Saige, why?’
      “I really need you to come back to your room, please it’s Ji-Yong”
      A short pause came before she spoke ‘why…I don’t want to talk to him right now. Besides my flight back home is in like 45 minutes so, no”
      “Flight back home? What do y–” he heard a crash from the other room.
      ‘What was that?’
      “Shit…” he swore under his breath.
      “Please just come back to your room, I don’t have time to explain!”
      ‘Young-Bae wait!–’
      He hung up his phone and rushed back into the other room to find Ji-Yong held a broken bottle of whiskey in a bloodied hand.
      “Ji-Yong what the hell?!” he rushed to his best friend’s side “No, no! Put that down! Jinga look at your hand!”
      Ji-Yong swayed in place and sniffled  “i-it’s not that bad, see” he held out his bloodied hand toward his friend.
Just then a pounding came from the front door. Young-Bae rushed to open the door, revealing an Alex who looked out of breath..
      “What the hell is going on?” she spoke as Young-Bae closed the door behind her.
      Not being able to stand his ground Ji-Yong swayed back and forth and stared at her in awe.
      “Oh my god Ji-Yong you’re bleeding!” she took several steps toward him and grasped the wrist of his bleeding hand.
      Not even batting an eye he continued to stare at her the words that were coming out of her mouth went completely unheard.
      “Oh my god um ok” she pulled him toward the bathroom “Young-Bae what the hell?! Why did you let him do this to himself?!”
      “Let him?! I was trying to keep him from doing anything stupid, and the one second I take my eyes off of him, to call you by the way, he does this shit!” he threw his hands up.
      She shook her head “can you at least find me a first aid kit or something? I need to get these little pieces of glass out of his hand”
      Young-Bae nodded and headed out the front door.
      “Tsk, Ji-Yong what the hell is wrong with you?” she held up his hand toward the light to get a better view “Here, let’s at least try to wash the blood off”
Running his hand under the faucet, he’d wince every now and again but still he would always manage to find his way back to staring at her; admiring her facial features.
      “Ahh, ahh!” he winced again.
      “Oh shit, I’m sorry!” she looked at him with pleading eyes.
      As if completely forgetting the shards of glass in his left hand, he cupped her face with the other hand and stared into her eyes before leaning in for a kiss.

      “Ji-Yong, no…” she pulled away from him “your timing is terrible, you really think that just because you’re and idiot with blood gushing out of your hand that means I’m not upset with you?”
      He closed his eyes and threw his head back.
      “What were you thinking anyway? You could have really hurt yourself…”
      “Would you have cared if I had?” he opened his eyes and leaned against the counter.
      “What the hell is that supposed to–You know what, I don’t want to fight with you anymore I just really want this night to be over” she sighed.
      He pushed himself off of the counter and stood right before her, once again staring into her eyes. He weighed his options in his mind before he bit his lip and went in for another kiss, only this time actually making contact. Deepening the kiss he placed his good hand on the nape of her neck and backed her up against the wall behind her. She hesitantly placed a hand on his bare shoulder and then moved up it into his hair. Pulling away to kiss her neck, he smiled to himself.
      “Mmm, Ji-Yong what about your–hng–hand?”
      “Fuck my hand…” he spoke into her skin.
      She let out a small whimper “I’m serious Ji-Yong”
      “So am I” he took his hand from her neck and placed it beneath one of her thighs and raised her leg up toward his waist.
      She threw her head back as her eyes rolled back into her head “Young-Bae is going to be back any second…”
      “We have to hurry then…” he took his hand and moved it up underneath her long hoodie and hooked his fingers around her underwear and yanked them off. He pulled away from her neck and looked her in the eyes and smiled, placing a peck upon her lips he reached between the two of them and attempted to undo his pants with one hand with no such luck.

      “Uhm, could ya help me out a bit” he let out a chuckle.

      She sighed and complied undoing the button and zipper to his pants.
Going back in for another passionate kiss he pulled down his boxer briefs and pumped himself before entering her causing her to gasp into the kiss. 

      Not giving her time to adjust he started pulling in and out at a fast pace, completely forgetting about his mangled left hand that he rested against the wall.
Her moans began to fill the bathroom as they reverberated off of the walls, he pulled away from the kiss and threw his head back letting out a few of his own grunts and groans.
      “Oh holy fuck…” his eyes rolled back into his head “I’m sorry for what I said earlier baby”
      She let out a whimper “Ji-Yong, shut–the fuck–up
      He chuckled before he let out a loud moan “oh fuck, babe–fuck–I think I’m gonna cum”
      “Already?” she said breathlessly.
      He looked at her through half lidded eyes “Yes already–shiiiiit–I’m surprised I could even get it up I’m pretty fucked up right now”
      She raised an eyebrow “that makes two of us”
      His moans began to get louder and louder, he usually wasn’t one to be super vocal during sex but when he was she took far too much enjoyment out of it.

      Her phone vibrated in her pocket causing her to pull it out to check who had messaged her.
      “Mmm–really? You’re gonna–ung–check your phone right now?!”
      She let out a moan as he picked up the pace “oh my fuuuck– oh shit it’s–ung–Young-Bae”
      “I said–oh Jesus H. Christ– I said it’s Young-Bae” she whimpered “He’s–he’s comiiing!
      “Shiit” he threw his head back again.
      “J-Ji Yong you have like 45 seconds to get your shit together”
      He breathlessly nodded his head and began to pound into her harder and harder until he could feel her clenching around his dick signaling that she was just as close as he was.
      “Come on baby–fuck–cum for me”
      Pulling him in closer causing her to leave scratch marks along his back she could feel that warm pit in her stomach beginning to build before she completely unraveled around him. Seeing her in complete ecstasy and feeling her clenching around his dick was all it took for him to become undone. Riding out their highs, Ji-Yong slowly pulled out as his chest was heaving up and down rapidly.
      “Shit sorry, I was going to pull out before I came..” he said out of breath.
      Just as winded he was, she pushed herself off the wall and with shaky legs made her way toward the shower and pulled off the detachable shower head to clean up.
      He made his way toward her and held her from behind before placing a kiss on the top of her head.
      She simply nodded her head in a delayed reply.
      “Why–” he cleared his throat “why do you always come back to me?”
      She turned toward him “I don’t know…maybe out of stupidity?…”
      “You could have easily just let me bleed all over the place, flown home and not cared”
      “I guess that’s my problem…”
      “What is?”
      “I care too much…” she sighed “I can’t just leave you alone, what if you had hurt yourself worse than you did tonight? I couldn’t let myself live with that weight on my shoulders if something had happened to you…I would never want you to hurt in any sense of the word”
      He nodded his head “But what about when I hurt you? Doesn’t it make you angry? Doesn’t it make you want to walk away for good”
      “Of course it does, and sometimes I wonder if you do it on purpose because you want me to end things because you’re too much of a coward to. You are probably the biggest, most narcissistic pain in my ass that I have ever met and yet still no matter what and out of sheer lunacy I will always come back to you. Because I unfortunately fell in love with you…”

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

      The car ride to Ji-Yong’s penthouse was a silent one, no one dared to utter a single word. When they arrived to his building Ji-Yong hopped out without a single ‘good-bye’ and headed toward the lobby; Seungri and Young-Bae followed suit behind him.
      Seungri cleared his throat “Hyung, are you feeling hungry?”
      “No…” he said in a monotone voice, not turning to face either man.
      “Cause if you are thre is no need to be shy about it! I’ll even cook the meat just for you!”
      No response.
      “Yah, Ji-Yong-ah you need to eat something eventually, you can’t be on the medication without it” Young-Bae furrowed his brow.
      “I said I’m fine…” he said walking into the elevator and pressing the button to his floor; the other two quickly hopped inside before the doors could close.
      Seungri and Young-Bae awkwardly glanced at each other, both determined to get their gloomy friend to at least crack a smile.
      “You know” Young-Bae smiled “now that you have that cast and everything, you can lie and say you fought a bear or something”
      Ji-Yong let a puff of air out through his nose.
      “Yea Hyung, you could say anything! I mean you could also say you punched a car but just leave out the reason why” Young-Bae smacked him on the back of the head.
      Ji-Yong raised an eyebrow.
      “Hyung…If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think she’s very happy with that guy anyway. Pretty sure I heard Rowan ask her that night what the whole deal with that guy was and Alex just said ‘wait what guy?’
      Finally he cracked a smile.
      Seeing the reaction he got from his Hyung the maknae continued with more feeling.
      “AND, from what Sasha had told me Alex isn’t staying that far away from here”
      Ji-Yong went wide eyed and turned to look at the maknae.
Seungri wiggled his eyebrows.
      “Whoa ok slow your roll there wingman” Young-Bae interjected “Don’t really think adding stalker to the broken fist is a good idea. I think he’s done enough for one day”
      “Tsk, come on Hyung!”
Young-Bae looked at the hopeful look in his best friend’s eyes and sighed.
      “Look if you really want to talk to her, go tomorrow huh? I don’t think seeing you in a Chanel dress shirt covered in your own blood is a good look for anybody”
      Ji-Yong looked down at his shirt.
      “Ok he’s got a point there Hyung…” the maknae eyed him up and down.
      The doors to the elevator opened up to Ji-Yong’s floor and the three of them continued onto the hallway toward Ji-Yong’s place. Reaching his front door, he pulled out his keycard and opened the door and before the other two could come in Ji-Yong paused and turned to face the other two.
      “Thanks for looking out for me like you guys did today”
      “Hyung did I just imagine it or did he actually thank us for something?”
      “You know what Seungri I think he did” Young-Bae smiled.

      “I know I haven’t been the best leader to you all, let alone best friend in the past few months but I want you know know that I sincerely appreciate you all putting up with me…”
      “That’s all we’ve been wanting to hear!”
      “Any time Hyung-ie~!”
      “With that being said, I want to be alone” Ji-Yong stepped inside and slammed the door before either of the other two could get a word in edgewise.

      After the events that took place throughout the day, Ji-Yong wanted nothing more than to pour himself into bed. Getting to his room he shut the curtains, turned off the lights and mid taking off his shirt he winced at a sharp pain shot right up his arm; he had forgotten he broken his knuckles.
      “Tsk, well I guess this is ruined” he muttered to himself observing the damage he had done to his favorite dress shirt.
      He tossed it in the general direction of his waste basket and plopped face first into his bed. When had he gotten to this point in his life? When did he begin to feel so lonely in a room of thousands? The ironic thing was that he found solace when he was actually alone. Truthfully he had nothing to complain about, he had it all: fame, money, souped up cars, even all the women he could ask for. But despite everything he had, there was still one thing he was missing; her.
He rolled over on his back and pulled out his phone from his pant pocket, scrolling through his photos he’d found some silly pictures he had taken of the members, the further he scrolled the more fond memories came clamoring back into his head. But there was one 30 second, black and white video at the end of his camera roll he never remembered taking. He pressed the play button and it was just himself on his bed staring into the camera. The Ji-Yong in the video looked to someone outside of the frame and smiled.

      ‘Babe what are you doing?’ the voice laughed.
      ‘Nothing just waiting for you’ he smiled again.
      ‘You are such a weirdo’ the voice laughed again.
      ‘Yea but you’re the one who made the mistake in dating me so–’ he raised up out of frame and when he came back down onto the bed he brought a giggling Alex down on top of him. He briefly kissed her before he tucked a wet piece of hair behind her ear. He moved the camera closer to their faces.

      ‘Eww Ji-Yong no, I look so gross right now I just got out of the shower’
      ‘No way, I honestly wish you could see how I see you through my eyes’
      ‘But if you’re looking at the world through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags’

      He smiled again ‘I love you’
      She sighed ‘I guess I love you too’ her eyes flickered to the camera ‘Okay, let’s just turn this off now’
      ‘No baby wai–’

      His screen cut back to the thumbnail.
      Of all the stupid things he had done thus far in his life, his biggest regret was the day he let her go.


A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water log stick will do just fine. A dog doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he’ll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?

Spin the Bottle

A Steve x Reader on this high school AU “Weve been best friends for practically our whole lives but youre a thousand times more popular than me so you dragged me to a big party and now we’re play spin the bottle and you spin and it lands on me oh crap” 

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8

“Mate come on I don’t want to go to this thing!” You beg, remaining adamantly in the passenger seat of Steve’s car.

“It won’t be that bad.” He insists, prodding your arm gently.

“It so will.” You insist, crossing your arms.

“Please. Just do this one thing for me. Pretty please. I will repay you in sexual favours?” Steve pleads and you can’t help but crack a smile. You look away so as not to give him the satisfaction, and unclip your seatbelt.

“Better be some damn good sexual favours.” You grumble, opening the car door and reluctantly stepping out.

“I knew you were my best friend for a reason.”

“What so you can guilt trip me into going to a popular kid party with you?” You jab, walking round to his side of the car, the accusing house in front of you.

“How many times have I gone to things with you, my friends aren’t that bad.” You scoff, making Steve chuckle slightly.

“Your friend group comprises almost solely of jocks and cheerleaders.”


“I feel like I have made my case.” You glance again at the house, the nerves that had been simmering in you all afternoon reaching a tumult. Steve seems to read the fear on your face, and holds out his hand. You take it and give him a grateful smile, the warmth of Steve’s skin against yours keeping you somewhat grounded.

Keep reading

90 Days of Autumn(Part 3)

Title: Sweet Smelling Kitchen

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Word Count: 1,763

Warnings: swearing(I think), sam being an adorable little shit( I mean look at the gif, so cute), cliffhanger

Prompt: Baking becomes a big mess, some things fail, others succeed, but one things for sure…everything just got a lot more awkward.

A/N: I updated the readers age in this fic. I wanted to make it more realistic, being a NICU doctor. It’s roughly 13 years of school/residency, so starting at age 18 would make the reader 31 and we’ll just say Sam is 31 as well.

Master List

Originally posted by jensens-apple-pie

“Have you ever actually baked a pie from scratch before?” You eyed Sam as he pushed the shopping cart up and down the isles. He made the shopping car look small and made you feel small too with the way he persistently had to be right beside you.

“Uh huh. For my brothers birthday, Mom and I made him a pecan pie. From scratch,” he looked down at you, giving you a teasing smile and a playful wink. “Men can bake too, Y/N.”

“I never said men couldn’t bake, Sam,” you justified, rolling your eyes. 

Keep reading

Chapter 21: I'D Rather

Robyn POV:

I called and texted Chris to ask if he could come over but he hasn’t replied. I need to let him know that I miss him butmore importantly I miss us.  After thetalk with his mom I realized I have no more time to waste and no more games toplay. We don’t need to go through the motions of being friends first again;we’re in love with each other and I really believe that’s enough.

I hope he isn’t mad at me for some reason but it’s not like he would tell me. See that’s the difference between us; I have no problem with telling him when he pissed me off, but Chris will let stuff build up inside of him before he snaps.

But, enough thinking about that I need to organize this mess. My new furniture and bed has been delivered, and I have my clothes from Mel’s but I still need to get my other stuff from my old house. That’s an all day job in itself. I was finishing putting my new comforter set on my bed when the doorbell rang and that’s weird, because I’m not expecting anyone right now.

“Oh hey, what are you doing here?”

“I came to talk to you, can I come in?”

“Of course.” I said giving him a quick hug and he kissed my cheek.

I closed the door behind us and we sat on the couch.

“I’m glad you came by because I wanted to talk to you too.”

“Yea I know, but I really want to get straight to the point. I love you Robyn but I know you don’t love me the same way. I knew that from the beginning but I just thought over time you would grow in love with me, you know? Damn that sounds dumb when I say it out loud, but yea if Chris is who you want to be with you have my blessing, because I love you that much I just want you to be happy. You are my closest friend before anything so your happiness means the world to me Robs.” He said and I had tears forming in my eyes.  

Ugh I’m such a crybaby but seriously how great is this man? Even after I hurt him he still cares about my happiness.

“Thank you and Keenon I do love you, but you’re right it’s not the same love you feel for me. I love you as my best friend and I want you to be happy as well; you deserve it. You’re such an amazing man and any woman would be lucky to have you; shit if I was in my right mind we would be together…” I said laughing “but seriously I still want you in my life forever big head.”

“I’ll always be here forehead.” He said and I looked up to see Chris standing with an annoyed look on his face. When did he get here? Keenon turned and looked at him. They stared at each other and the tension between them was thick and apparent.

“It’s best I leave.” Keenon got up and walked towards the door. He and Chris continued to look at each other and I was nervous about what could happen next. I know Chris and what he’s capable of, but Keenon isn’t a punk either.

“Nigga what the fuck is the issue? You got something you want to say?” Chris said.

“Man chill you really don’t want these problems. I’m leaving out of respect for Robyn but don’t test me my nigga.” He replied and I saw Chris start walking towards him. I quickly stood up and got in between them. I’m not about to let a fight go down.

“Bye Keenon, I’ll talk to you later.” I said and he nodded then left.

“You saved your friend I hope you know that.”

“Please Chris you started it.”

“Why was he even here to begin with, when you told me to come and why were y’all sitting that close?”

“I didn’t know he was coming and besides why are you mad? You come here smelling like another bitch but you want to question me for having a conversation.”

“I don’t…”

“You do but whatever I didn’t call you here for this. I don’t want to beat around the bush anymore so I’m just going to come out and say it. I love you, I miss you, and I want us to be together.” I said and he didn’t say anything.

“What do you have to say?” I asked.

“Umm…nothing really just you can’t always get what you want.” This was not the response I expected.

“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked folding my arms.

“Exactly what I said, it’s not a complex statement.”

“So you don’t want to be with me now.” He just shrugged his shoulders.

“Really Chris?”

“If that’s what you interpreted then hey…”

“Why is your ass being so difficult?”

“I’m not being difficult, but you always have been.”

“What?” I’m confused and I’m becoming pissed now.

“We were together over a year so you know what I mean when I tell you that. You think just because you say you’re ready to be in a relationship now I’m just supposed to jump and agree. You’re always like that with every situation but newsflash baby the world doesn’t revolve around you.”

“You’re really on some other shit right now and we agreed to stop the bullshit.”

“Yea we did and we’re not about to go through any. Sometimes I swear you think I’m supposed to bow down to you.”

“I’ve never once said some shit like that and if you felt that way you should have said something.”

“You don’t say a lot of things but it’s your actions that do all the talking. That’s why I can’t rock with you on that level right now. You got a lot of shit you need to change within yourself and so do I.” He said and began to walk towards the door, but I stopped him.

“Why are you acting like this? Is it to teach me a lesson? To give me a taste of my own medicine? If so that’s fuckin’ childish.”

“I’m not doing it to teach you anything but if you learn something from this well good for you.” He said then left.

I didn’t stop him this time because I’m not in the business of chasing any man, and I think that’s what he wants me to do. I have done so many things out of my character for this man it’s ridiculous. However, my mind is saying give up but my heart is saying fight for our love. I broke down in tears not knowing how to handle this.

“God please work this out for me.” I said.

Chris POV:

I quickly walked out of Robyn’s house feeling horrible but that wasn’t going to make me go back in there. I reached my car and Jaden was preoccupied with his phone. I laid my head on my steering wheel and zoned out.

“Yo pops where can I take Brandy for our date? Like somewhere cheap but doesn’t scream cheap, you know? I was thinking dinner and ice skating. Girls like that, right?” He rambled on and I remained silent.

“Dad are you ok? What happened in there?”

“Nothing, she said she wants to be with me and I said no.”

“Why though? You know that’s not what you wanted to say.”

“Because she needs to understand that she can’t always have what she wants when she wants it.”

“I know you told me to stay out of grown people’s business but this is beyond childish. You just made it sound like she’s a child asking for a toy.”

“She acts like a child.”

“No offense but sometimes you do too. Just think about all you have put that woman through and yet she still loves you, and wants to work it out. I’m sure she has done things to hurt you and vice versa but that’s where forgiveness and love comes in. I don’t know much but I know love is not always pretty however it’s important to try and work through whatever the problem is. The worst thing is living with regrets and you’ll regret this decision later.” I looked up at my son surprised at how mature he has gotten.

“So what do you suggest I do? I’m sure I made her mad at me.”

I can’t believe I’m asking my teen son for relationship advice. I’m supposed to be helping him with these types of problems not the other way around.

“Nah if she asked to be with you I’m sure she’s more heartbroken than anything, but I suggest you go back in there and get your woman. You know what I noticed with adults is y'all like to do certain things thinking y'all have plenty of time left to make it right when y'all don’t. It’s time to stop playing games before it’s too late and not only that it’s pathetic. Ms. Robyn is a great supportive woman and independent. She loves me and Skai and she doesn’t want you for anything other than your love, how can you do better than that? Especially with so much trash running around.”

“Damn son you’re right.”

“I know.” He said in a cocky tone.

I got out the car and handed Jaden my keys.

“What do you want me to do with these?”

“I’m trusting you to drive yourself home and I do mean home. Don’t go to none of your little friend’s house, don’t be speeding, don’t have the music blasting, do you hear me? I know how long it takes to get from here to the house so I will call your grandma in exactly 30 minutes to make sure you’re there. Don’t make me regret this boy.” I said and he nodded. He started the car and eased off slowly.

I know once he turns the corner he’ll do what I told him not to but if he gets pulled over that’s his ass. I proceeded to open Robyn’s door and seen her on the couch with her face buried in her hands.

“Robyn…” I said and she looked up.

“Chris wha—I mean I thought you left.” She said wiping her tear stained face.

“Nah I’m still here. I came back in to be real with you about what I want and to talk to you with some sense.” I sat down next to her and allowed her to speak her mind.

“Go ahead Robs you have the floor. Say whatever is on your mind.”

“Ok well…as you know I’m in love with you. The thing is I’m tired of trying to date other people knowing how much I love and want to be with you. I want you to be the person I lay next to every night. I want you to be my husband and the father of my children. I want to go through the good as well as the bad with no one else but you. When you hurt I hurt, when you’re happy I’m happy. We’re made for each other baby. Feel this…” She said taking my hand and placing it on her heart, and I could feel her heartbeat.

“You’re the only man who can still make me nervous with just a touch and make my heart beat like this. You’re the only man who can turn me on with just a simple look. You’re the only man who has my heart I can’t give it to another and I don’t want to. You’re the only man I want to ever be with. Many months I have laid alone in bed thinking was it really worth the wait and deep down I always knew it was because there is no other man I would rather feel this way about.” She said and I stared at her.

This is what I’ve been waiting for. I was waiting for her to pour her heart out to me and be honest about what she wanted, and not put on a front.

“I don’t even know what to say, but first of all I honestly apologize for the way I spoke to you a moment ago. I was being stupid and I didn’t mean it, but what I’m about to say I mean every word. You already know I feel the exact same way about you Robyn and I want everything you want plus more. When I look into your eyes I see my entire future. You’re the only woman I want to be with for the rest of my life and I can’t wait for you to have my last name. I want to be together permanently too. I love you so damn much baby I don’t think you truly understand.”

“Believe me I understand and I love you just as much. This time there will be no running away from our problems or walking out on each other. We can’t do that again.” She said and I agreed.

“There’s something I do need to tell you since were moving forward.”

“No leave it alone babe. Whatever happened before this point is the past so leave it there.” I nodded and leaned in to kiss her but she blocked it with her hand.

“Nope go brush your teeth and rinse your mouth out with mouthwash. Scrub your lips and tongue.” She said in a serious tone and I raised my eyebrow.

“Why?” I inquired and she gave me a nigga you know why look. I went to the bathroom and found a spare toothbrush. I did what I was told without any hesitation.


“Much better baby.” She said with a smile.

“There’s that smile I love.”

I pulled her closer to me and she wrapped her arms around me. I didn’t think we would get on the path to our happiness together but we are and I know we’re going to work this time around.  I know this is God’s plan for us, He made us for each other.

I passionately kissed her lips but then I remembered I need to call my mom. I quickly made the phone call and she assured me that Jaden made it back safely. I focused my attention back on my baby and picked her up to carry her to the bedroom, because it’s time to properly make up.


I exited the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist.

“I didn’t know you were awake.” I said when I walked out of the bathroom.

“I just woke up. We could’ve showered together but I needed my nap.” She came towards me and put her arms around me.

“Shit I don’t have a problem taking another one.” I said.

“Of course you don’t.”

“When I get back we can do some other things.” I said licking my lips.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to talk to Mya real quick. You trust me when I say I’m just going to talk to her, right?”

“I’m going to trust you Chris.”

“Good I’ll be right back babe. Can I borrow your car?”

“Sure you can.”

“Thanks.” I pecked her cheek and continued getting dressed.

I pulled up to Mya’s and before I could go knock on her door she opened it, and two women were leaving.

“Oh hey Chris.” She said greeting me with a hug and I walked in her living room.

“Come sit down I want to talk to you.”

She did as I asked and waited for me to speak.

“Mya you’re a sweet girl but it’s not right for me to string you along. Robyn and I just agreed to work out our issues and be together.” I said and a look of disappointment came across her face.

“I knew you were still in love with her but I’m not angry. You can’t help who you love so I understand.”

“We can still be friends if you want.”

“As long as Robyn is ok with it, I would like that.” She said with a smile.

“She not that type, she’ll be cool with it.”

“You sure? Because the way she give me death glares says otherwise.” I laughed at her statement. My baby can kill somebody with a look.

“That’s just her sometimes and she was mad because she still had feelings for me. Y'all just have to get to know each other.”

“I don’t mind getting to know her.”

“Ok well I need to get going.”

“Alright and Chris thank you for being a man and coming to talk to me face to face.”

“No problem Mya.”

I hopped back in the car and made my way to my lady’s house.

Robyn POV:

*1 Month Later*

Things between Chris and I have been great. It feels amazing to have my man back for good and not to mention the sex is better than ever, and I didn’t know that was possible. I can’t get enough of him and vice versa.

“Sis what are you thinking about?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“You just completely spaced out.”

“Oh I wasn’t thinking about anything in particular.”

“Hmm you were daydreaming about the D.” Mel said and I laughed it off.

“Girl you’re crazy. I am not thinking about that.” I stated.

“You’re lying and your face is turning red.” I rolled my eyes and my phone started to ring.

“Hey baby.” I said with a grin.

“Hey, how is your day going?”

“Really good I’ve been thinking about you.”

“Oh is that right?”

“Yup, so how has your day been?”

“Pretty good, what are you doing besides thinking about me?”

“Out with Mel doing a little shopping for the house.”

“Tell my sis I said hey.”

“Mel Chris said hey.”

“Hey bro…”

“You heard her?”

“Yea and oh are you still coming over tonight for dinner?” Tonight is the night we tell the kids we’re together and I think they’ll be ok about it.

“Of course I’ll be there at 6:30 no later than 7.”

“Alright well I’ll let you get back to your shopping and I’ll see you later. I love you babe.”

“I love you too honey, bye.” I said and hung up.

“Y'all are so cute it’s sickening.” She said jokingly.

“Shut up hater, do you like these dish sets?”

“Eh they’re ok I like these better.”

“Oh I love it, see that’s why I brought you with me.”

We continued shopping for another hour and then I dropped her off at home. I quickly went to my place to change clothes.


I pulled up to Chris’ house and got out my car.

“Hey baby you look beautiful.” He greeted me with a peck on my lips when he opened the door.

“Thank you, you look handsome.”

“Ms. Robyn!!” Skai said running full speed towards me and I bent down to hug her.

“Dinner is ready come on.” She tugged at my arm and guided me towards the dining room. It was a nice layout. Jaden was already seated and busy texting on his phone.

“What’s up Ms. Robyn?”

“Hey Jaden.”

“Were you responsible for this lovely setting Skai?” I inquired.


I took my seat and Chris brought out the food. We said grace and began to eat.

“This is really good.”

“I did alright.” Chris said.

“My daddy isn’t telling the truth, my granny made this.” Skai tried to whisper to me from across the table.

“Little miss mouth almighty, zip it.” He said and we started to laugh.

We finished eating and continued to engage in conversation. After 10 minutes of just talking Chris gripped my thigh under the table signaling me that it was time.

“So kids I have something to tell you.”

“Ok what is it? Am I getting a car?” Jaden inquired. Chris looked at me and grabbed my hand.

“No, I thought we discussed the car situation. If you want one you have to get a legal job to buy it or at least come up with half.”

“Fine, what do you have to tell us?”

“Well Robyn and I…umm we love each other and we are together now.”

“How do you two honestly feel about that?” I asked.

“Was this supposed to be a surprise? Man pops you already know how I feel. I’m cool with it and as long as y'all are happy that’s all that matters. Ms. Robyn you’re a wonderful person and I can’t think of another woman more perfect for my dad. I haven’t seen him this happy in a long time.”

“Aww Jaden and what about you Skai, how do you feel about it?” She got up from her chair and walked over to me.

“Even though you tried to tell me different, I still knew you loved my daddy.” She said hugging me tightly.

“I do sweetheart, I do very much.” I said with a tear escaping the brim of my eye.

“Aww family hug.” Jaden said joining our hug and Chris did as well.

I couldn’t be happier right now.


051106—161106;; Super Junior’s 11th Anniversary

I can’t explain in words how thankful I am to see our boys accomplish this. Just some time ago, we celebrated 4000 days. 4000. Days. That doesn’t happen to many groups, and I would love for Super Junior to celebrate thousands of more days. I’m so happy I recognize these boys and appreciate them even more now. I’m so proud of calling myself an Ever-Lasting Friend. It’s different with Super Junior.. I actually feel like I’m their friend. I can’t find any other group that can give me a better feeling than them.

Super Junior is the strongest group I’ve ever seen. They have fallen so many times, getting treated like trash by their own company, car accidents, members leaving, scandals, enlistments, etc. But they always come back up, stronger than ever. Super Junior is truly The Last Man Standing.

They are absolutely hilarious. I can’t explain how many times they have made me smile and laugh whenever I feel sad. Just the thought of them reassures me so much, I love all of the inside jokes they have. Like almost disbanding over a water prank, and dressing up as legit everything and anything (a special honor to the vegetable costumes and the Elsa costumes). The members write their own fanfics of other members. The fact that they pulled a prank on the same member leaving the group TWO TIMES, and yet the members still fell for it, is hilarious but meaningful. The amount of times they have kissed each other is so normal for us, but legendary. May I remind you Super Junior has a movie dedicated to throwing shit at boys?? Attack of the Pin-Up Boys is truly iconic.

But their family bond is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. There is no group as genuine as Super Junior these days. They still mention their ex-members and vise versa in 2016. They diss each other so often, but at the end of the day, they all care for one another. I admire that about them, that even all of their parents are best friends with each other.

They might be older, but they’re most experienced and talented. They might not be trendy anymore, but they left their mark as legends. They stick together despite everything they’ve gone through. Super Junior was simply an idea that was meant to last a few months, but now they’re still here, after 11 years. They are such humble, kind, and caring seniors who are always supporting their juniors. They make fun of us ELFs as well, and we do it back to them because our relationship is so much more than a fan and an idol. They promise to always remain as Super Junior, even after they start living normal lives by getting married and having kids. Disbanding isn’t a concern at all, because even if that happens (which is very unlikely), they will remain as a close family for the rest of their lives.

There is such amazing and unique vocals, rapping, dancing, and all sorts of other talents each member holds. Their composed songs and directed music videos are so beautiful to see and hear. Super Junior does so much, especially for us ELFs. I’m so thankful they try their best to connect with every single fan, always attempting to keep communication with them. Super Junior is undefeatable.

So why do I love Super Junior? Simply because they’re Super Junior. That’s all. ♡