how a boyfriend should act

I put quotation marks, because having a girl or getting a girl, makes it seem like she’s an object.  She’s a person.

Lately, my friends have been going through things with their boyfriends.  One over reacts, and yells at her, and tells people its her fault.  

Another, flirts with other girls, hangs out with other girls, and doesn’t respond (long distance.)  She says he was a sweet heart, but now that they’re together he doesn’t do anything sweet anymore.  

Guys need to stop taking girls for granted and keep the romance alive.  Just because you got her doesn’t mean you’ll get to keep her.

This might come off as controversial.  

I have never had a girlfriend, and no girl in my entire history has ever liked me when I liked her.  In fact, I’m not even sure if any girl has ever liked me.  Maybe it’s because i tend to fall for whoever i’m closest to, and in this case, all the girls I’ve liked have been my best friends (still are) who I talk to about everything.  I fell for them much after we established our bestfriendship. 

Now because we were best friends, I knew them very well, and I would do things for them that were specific to them. Whether it be, composing a song in their favourite key, finding things from their favourite shows, or other more personal things.  But while it was really nice, it didn’t make them like me.  

I got to be really negative, thinking things like “I did all this, and you sitll don’t like me?”   Now I realize it was selfish.  Now you might say that “oh it might ruin the best friendship if you guys dated”, but if you’re best friends, you should be able to get through anything right?  Because you’ve been friends for a long time, you’ve obviously had enough fights and you’ve obviously gotten through them ,so what less than a relationship?  

Now I see those sweet gestuers not as failed ploys, but as nice things I did to make them happy.  I know now that t’s important to put thier happiness above my own.  Just because I can’t be “with” them doesn’t mean I can’t make her happy.  If you truly care about her, you’ll do anything for her, regardless if yo’re with her or not.  DOn’t be a douchebag who just leaves when he realize she’s been friendzoned or has no “chance”.  And who knows, maybe she’ll realize that the true love has been right under her nose, all along. *wink*

A gentleman does not dread the friendzone.

Seriously. A good tumblr friend of mine told me how she liked a guy and a guy liked her back.  Yet now, he’s talking, flirting, to another girl.  He calls her babe. Sends her sweet crap.  Yet he insists that he likes my friend.  But on tumblr (I saw my self), he said he liked the other girl as well. 

A guy can’t say I like you, and yet flirt with other girls.

A guy can’t say “I like you too!” and yet obviously be talking to others.

Sorry to pull a Bible reference on you, but Matthew 6:24 says “a man can not serve two masters”.  It hurts my heart for someone to brag about how many girls he’s dating at once, or how many girl’s he’s currently flirting with or blah.

Yes, you could get into that whole thing where “it’s not official yet, we’re just dating, and dating is noncomittal’. That’s a load of crap. There will always be one you treat better, one you talk to more, one you think is more pretty. 

A girl deserves a guy’s full attention. If you can’t give her that, then you might as well not give her any.  

A gentleman likes one girl at a time (and he also knows not to just switch right away either).

A gentleman knows that it is wrong to like two girls at once.

Yes, girls can be hot, but usually we men tend to do that for girls we don’t know.  Yes, Katy Perry can be hot.   But think of it this way:  if you really knew the girl, would you call her hot?

To me, words like “hot” and “sexy” are vulgar and give off a physical meaning.  It’s like you want to have sex with them.  If you intend to date  a girl or if you say you’re in love, words like hot aren’t right.  Hot describes a physical attraction, and if you really care about a girl, you’ll care about her more than just what she looks like.

Words like beautiful can be applied to the outside of a person . Their smile can be intoxicating.  Their eyes can be such a dark colour that you just get lost when you look into them  Beautiful can describe the inside as well.  A word like hot is too easy.  It’s a simple way of describing someone.  When theres a girl, she doesn’t deserve to be called something so vulgar.  She deserves something specific. Something more deep, more personal. 

You should’t call a woman hot.  

She deserves to be called beautiful.

(Inspired by pommepattiserie)

There’s just something about a lady’s smile that brightens my day.  Girls are mysterious, and what makes them happy is a mystery in its own.  But if you know that they’re smiling because of you, then you know you have done something great in this world.  

Off topic, her smile is empowering.  The way her eyes squint slightly when her wide smile comes.  Those dark brown eyes just looking as she hunches slightly because she’s speechless.  Just awesome. 

Again. My really good friend runs into a problem with a new guy. This guy says he loves her , and really cares about her, yet only does things to get something from her.

And she doesn’t even like him “that way”.  He only does things to get her to like him, but they aren’t traditional.

He says he quit smoking weed for her, and he expects her to like him for it.  He also makes up stories to his friends about her, even though they aren’t true.

Now I know I already made a post about how if you truely love someone, you do things without asking for anyhting in return, but heres a new tip.  Receiving feels nice, but giving should be our number one priority.  In this world, many are selfish, even me.  We are concerned about getting what we want, in any way possible.  Sometimes, we even do it subconsciously.  But remind yourself:

It is always better to give than to receive. 

*Submitted by Anonymous.

This is something I continually must remember. I thank the submitter.

I am a very talkative person.  I love conversation.  One might say that I am very dependent on other people, and base my happiness on others.  I love talking to people. I love giving/receiving good morning texts, getting messages in the middle of the day, and long phone calls.  I think I love it because i seldom have any of these happen to me.  

As a result, I tend to text a lot.  Not texting, but giving out messages.  If someone responds, I’m usually the person to say “hello?” repeatedly.  As a result, many people find me annoying, clingy, creepy, and just weird.  I dont deny what I did; I deserve to be called so.  I’m sure other guys have had similar problems.  it took me a while to realize what I had been doing.  

Sometimes, it’s best to back off. It pains me to say it, but girls do like guys who don’t give them a LOT of their attention. Sure, a girl would like a guy to be there for them, to text them, but too much of a good thing is a bad thing. And a guy who texts too much or messages frequently is definitely a bad thing.  You can say “you care” which is great, you should care, but she may not see it that way.  You may be filled with the desire to text her 24/7, but that doens’t mean you should.

A gentleman knows when to back off and leave a girl alone. Clingy-ness isn’t always appreciated.  I know, because I’m going through the same thing. 

I keep seeing those tumblr images where they say “Call a girl babe”.  Is babe really that good? It just sounds so vulgar.  Plus all the guys say “babe”.  What happened to “dear”?  It just sounds so classy.  

Next time, tell your significant other or friends “Good morning, my dear.”  See if it makes a difference. 

A gentleman is humble.  A gentleman admits when he is wrong.  It takes a real man to do that.  I find myself always trying to prove myself right, often hurting the feelings of others in the process.  I’m always concerned with defending myself, but then I think “they’re right”.  

I have no right to say they’re wrong.  They have a valid point.  I wish I could just go back in time and tell my younger self this, to prevent me from becoming the asshole I am today.  But it seems I’m too late.  

Maybe you’re right.  The point of this blog is not for me to show off my “nuggets” of wisdom and show how I thought of it first because I practice it, to show that I am a gentleman. Because I’m not.  

This blog is to educate others before they do something wrong, as I did.  Before it’s too late.  

A gentleman is not arrogant.  A gentleman doesn’t have a need to prove himself right.  A gentleman steps back and sees the other side.

A gentleman, most of all, is humble.  

(Inspired by a close friend)

I was on my New  York trip, and I practiced this.  Even if its a teenage girl or an elderly person, a gentleman gives up his seat for the person.  You might see it as sexist, to give up your seat for a girl, but I see it as manners.  Heck, I even let my friends sit before I did. There were days  where I didn’t get to sit down at all.  I wasn’t mad or upset, but I was glad that others were able to have a seat first.  It’s just good manners to let others sit down first, but don’t get me confused with a pushover.  No one told me to give them their seat, I did it out of respect and manners.  

Gentlemen let others sit before he does. 

Most guys have a problem with the word no.  Let me tell you about my friend.  He always admonishes me for falling in love.  I asked him what he does when a girl he likes doesn’t like him back.  For me, I keep liking them, because well, I don’t give up easy.  And thats how I know I like them for true reasons, not just because they’re attractive or whatever.

But for my friend, he stops talking to the girl; he sees no point.  He sees no point in talking to someone you don’t know.  

With some guys, if its a good friend and they like, her, and if she denies their love, the friend ship breaks down.  

A gentleman understands a girl’s point of view.  While a gentleman tries hard to please to girl, he has to know that it’s not the end of the world if a girl doesn’t like him.  He does not get mad at the girl.  He doesn’t take it out on his friends.  He puts the friendship above all else.  He should be able to control his emotions.

A gentleman knows how to handle rejection.  Well. 

(Inspired by pommepatisserie)