housecleaning

How To Adult

Being a member of the new generation of mostly-independent adults, I believe that I have discerned some valuable tips about adulting, which I will now endeavor to pass on to others attempting to join this elite group. Warning: results of attempted adoption of these techniques may vary in levels of success. (I’m still working on most of the ones under “Housecleaning”.)

Laundry

- Before you put those pants in the laundry and think, “I’m sure my pockets are empty,” stop for a moment. Do you know where your phone is right now? Your USB? Your 3DS cartridges? Do you remember exactly where you last saw them? Are you sure? It may not be worth the risk. Check your pockets.

- You don’t really need to sort laundry these days. Just chuck everything in on Cold, and it will be fine. Do not use bleach except in emergencies.

- CLEAN THE DANG LINT TRAP ARE YOU TRYING TO SET YOUR HOUSE/TRAILER/APARTMENT ON FIRE?!?

- If your mother is coming to visit, it’s probably time to fold that pile of clean clothes that’s been sitting in the corner all week. You know that sigh she does. Yes, that one.

Housecleaning

- Pets: if it has fur, the fur will get everywhere. Sweep and dust once in a while, and be sure your roommate doesn’t have allergies before moving in. 

- If your bathroom is the one that guests will mostly likely use, do not leave undergarments on the floor because you were lazy after your last shower. 

- Take out the garbage BEFORE it starts to smell. Also preferably before tissues are piling out of your bedroom trash can like a nasty little Mt. Everest.

- You are not living in a haunted house, but spiders do not understand this and will try to introduce that atmosphere into your corners. A long-handled broom will solve both of these problems.

Roommates

- If you have a roommate or housemate of some kind, take turns doing the dishes. Do not quibble over whose turn it is or whose dishes they are. Come to a general understanding that the person who didn’t do the dishes will be the one who puts them away once they are done drying. If the other person has a busy work schedule that week, do the dishes twice; this will increase household morale.  

- Differing work schedules is not a bad thing. There is less time to decide that you find the other person annoying, and it’s like a friend coming over when you actually get to sit down and have a movie and ice cream binge. 

- But don’t be that roommate with the loud sleep schedule who wakes up their roommate at all hours of the night, seriously.

- Ask your roommate before bringing friends or significant others to the house unannounced. It’s their house, too, and also the place where they shower under the illusion that no strangers are waiting out in the living room.

- Do nice things for no other reason than to be nice. It will come back to you. 

Food

- A pizza slicer is a worthwhile investment and will soon prove invaluable.

- Try to eat salads once in a while. They taste delicious with croutons and your favorite dressing. But avoid that one kind of lettuce, you know, with the hard white chunky bits? Those are gross. 

- Seedless red grapes are freaking fantastic, especially the ones we’ve been getting at Meijers this Summer, good gravy those are the best snack food ever.

- Don’t eat your roommate’s food without their permission, or they may eat your food without your permission.

General Health

- If you have to get up early, go to sleep earlier. If you have to go to sleep later, make sure you are able to get some sleep the next day. If part of this equation is missing for an extended period, you will begin to regret your life choices.

- Screens are fantastic inventions, but if you spend twelve hours a day staring at one, you have a problem. Do something to shake up your routine, like going outside, reading a book, or staring at a point ten feet or more away from your face so you can remember what depth perception is.

- Take your allergy medicine, especially if not doing so causing you to spit like a bad Western saloon villain.

- Brush your teeth, brush your hair, and wear deodorant every day. Also, shower before your hair starts to itch. This simple equation will do remarkable things for your feelings of self-worth.

- If you are spending 100% of your time sitting on your butt, don’t complain about how you don’t understand why you don’t weigh the same as you did on the track team in high school.

Going To The Doctor

- Insurance doesn’t seem important to a perfectly healthy young adult such as yourself, until you have a startling reaction to an unknown chemical in your first apartment and have to go to the emergency room for a severe case of hives. 

- If the doctor does not know what is causing your problem, he or she may try to subtly imply that you were silly to worry about it in the first place. Be polite just in case they are right, but remember it in case they try to bill you $400 for a test it turns out you didn’t need.

- Ask every question you can possibly think of. Don’t assume the doctor will tell you what you need to know. They may assume you know it already.

- That blood test costs way more than you think.

Free Time And Social Interaction

- It’s important to have hobbies, but be aware of red flags. Are you always by yourself? Are you obsessed with it every hour of the day? Does no one talk to you anymore because it has consumed your very soul? You may need to expand your interests.

- It is remarkably refreshing to go outside of the house once in a while and just travel somewhere you don’t normally. Even the library is exciting if you spend all day in at the office. Variety is the spice of life, and eternal routine is the unflavored tofu.

- Compliment people. Compliment strangers. The secret truth is that everyone, everywhere, is secretly hoping people think they look good today. Fulfill their dreams and you’ll both feel better about yourselves!

- Treat everyone you meet like a valuable human being. You might eventually realize that it’s true.

Regarding ADHD, Autism, Sensory Processing Disorder, and Housecleaning

Okay, so, I JUST realized something while vacuuming the living room:
For some odd, reason, it turns out my brain LIKES vacuuming. I enjoy the movements of pushing and pulling, the white noise sound, the crunch of dirt and crud being whirled up. It somehow relaxes me. I find it strange. One would assume the exact opposite. 

The thing is, see, the ADHD and executive dysfunction issues prevents me from completely finishing a task properly. I’ll think I’ve done just fine, and then husband will come home and vacuum again because he has eagle eyes and I can’t see a spot of dirt right in front of me. Sometimes I wonder if setting a timer and vacuuming until it dings is a good idea. And yet I still believe that it won’t be enough. That I won’t be enough. I am absolutely terrible at housecleaning. I will start organizing, then wander off because I thought of another task, and so on. I should use my phone to set an alarm and change the sound every so often so I don’t get used to it.

@actuallyadhd, what does J. think? I feel like we’ve discussed stuff like this.

turtletotem  asked:

Modern AU where instead of being sold into slavery, Damen just lost everything and has to work as a housecleaner. Laurent creeps around the house and watches him clean because he has his earbuds in and dances and hums while he's cleaning.

Omg I love this. Laurent just loves watching him dancing and singing while he’s cleaning. He finds it entertaining, and he has to admit that overall Damen is pretty pleasant to look at. He didn’t expect that when his father mentioned hiring a new housecleaner after the previous one left, having finally found a better job. But the new worker happened to be a really well made man, falling just in Laurent’s preferences. 

That he danced decently (for someone who’s cleaning in the same time) and had a low, warm voice were only added bonus.

So Laurent would stay at home when his parents and brother were away, and just watch Damen work, as discreetly as possible.

What he didn’t know was that it’s been a while since Damen had noticed the younger son of the De Vere family creeping on him. At first he immediately straightened himself and worked more seriously, waiting for the scolding to come. But nothing came. Surprised, Damen just kept working as usual, eventually getting caught in his music again. And noticing that Laurent was still here, catching his reflection in the window he was cleaning. Weird. Eventually, he realized that the young De Vere would come watch him when he was dancing. So, he likes it hmm ? Damen thought his life must be boring if he found amusement in watching his housecleaner work, but now he understands it better. He even takes pride in it, and force his moves when Laurent is here, singing more clearly the lyrics of his songs.

Laurent didn’t know what to do more. He enjoyed watching Damen dance, but now he’d like to do more. But his pride wouldn’t let him do the first step.

Until he found a little piece of paper under his pillow, some time after Damen had cleaned his room.

“Wanna come with me at the Akielon Club tonight at 22 pm ? It won’t be the most fancy club, but there’s good music, and a really good dancer ;)”

Of course, Laurent tells himself he won’t go.

Of course, Laurent goes. One hour earlier.

(IDK WHAT HAPPENED I guess I got carried away but sorry I’m not a writer so it sucks also I don’t handle tenses also I’m not a native speaker)

Anonymous said:

Can I have fics where mccree/reaper/genji/Hanzo/soldier come home from a very long mission and their s/o just jumps on them and clings to them and showers them with kisses because they missed them so much?

((Of course you can Anon! These will be short fics so I don’t bombard the dashboard but I hope you enjoy them! - Mod Tez))

McCree

It has so far been roughly two weeks since the last time you’ve physically seen Jesse McCree. Poor guy was stuck in a mission he couldn’t persuade himself out of. He promised you he wouldn’t come back hurt. Taking his word you waited for him. Not like a dog though, because if you sat infront of the door waiting your butt would go sore.

You kept the house clean and didn’t let yourself feel blue because of the cowboy’s absence. You’d have to apologise to him once he got home because you sprayed his cologne around the house so you could get that Jesse aesthetic in the house.

One night you fell asleep on the couch while watching an old western movie, when you were awakened by a familiar metal clink of spurs. Those spurs meant that Jesse was home so you practically threw yourself over the couch and charged to the front door like Reinhardt charges on the battlefield. Quickly opening the door you tackle the brunette and start peppering his face with kisses..

Jesse laughed heartily and wrapped his arms around your waist, making you slow down with a loving kiss. He pulled back and sniffed the air, “Hun… Is that my cologne you have on?~” he asked, making you blush and hide your face to his chest, making him laugh again, “Suits ya alot (Y/N)~ I’ll get one for you too.” he purred as he kissed your head.

Reaper

You thoroughly cleaned up your house. Reaper was away on a mission and you knew he liked coming back to a clean house. So far Reaper has been away for three weeks and you were unsure how much longer he’d be awake. He sent you a small calendar with pictures of the ocean for every month last week. You knew he wasn’t a very physically or vocally loving person that often. So small gestures like these felt very heartfelt.

The night he came back you  had stayed up but huddled in your bed, holding a pillow to your chest as a self comfort tool, when you felt a shift in the air and a cold hand gently brushing your hair as you felt a cold weight huddle next to you.

Shifting to face the man who was still in his work clothes you gently reached a hand out and placed it in the darkness of his hood. He chuckled a little at you sticking your hand in his hood and shifted his hand. Gently guiding your hand to his cheek as he brushed your knuckles with his thumb. You smiled at him and he shifted closer to you, obscuring your eyesight with his chest as you felt his rough lips press gently on your head. It was a silent welcome back and a silent way of saying how much you love each other.

Genji

Genji had gone away back to Nepal for a few weeks to go through a giant meditation session with Zenyatta in order to release all the stress from working with the recalled Overwatch. He had left some of his clothes in the house so you had taken the duty of wearing them constantly. They smelt like green tea and a little oil from his mechanic parts, but it smelt just like him and kept you at a peace of mind. Surprisingly to the point you sat in places silently and tried to meditate.

After every time you meditated you’d feel  so relaxed that you spent your time being productive. You got yourself to try out green tea while you read books and played video games.

The day Genji returned he was surprised the house was silent and you were meditating with a hoodie of his on the couch so he silently managed to sit next to you without disrupting you and he sat next to you. Meditating, and about thirty minutes after he came back you finally realised that the smell of green tea was stronger and you opened your eyes, turning to face the meditating man beside you.

You smiled and kissed his visor where his cheek would’ve been, but he remained unmoved so you got off the couch and made tea. Coming back with the hot drink you lied down and rested your head on his lap. “I missed you so much my sparrow.” you said as he took a deep breath in and started gently caressing your hair with a hand as the other rested on his lap.

Hanzo

The Japanese man had gone away on a mission. So far it had been five weeks since he had last seen you but he had sent you some small gifts. One of them was a blue scarf that you’d now wear every day.

The day Hanzo returned you had climbed up to a cherry blossom tree and just calmly watched your surroundings until you heard soft footsteps. You turned your head and looked down to see Hanzo, dressed in his normal dressing with his bow over his shoulder, next to his arrows. 

You climbed down the tree and bowed your head slightly, Hanzo did the same but didn’t bow as long as you, it was a greeting and a sign of who has the higher position. But afterwards you asked, “Can I hug you please?” since you knew he wasn’t a fan of contact that much.

He sighed and gave a small smile, “Yes you can…” he said quietly and opened his arms a little, letting you huddle up to him and hide your face on his chest as he wrapped his arms around you, rubbing circles on your back with a hand, “私は だいすき です.”* he softly said in Japanese as he rested his head on the top of yours. “I love you too Hanzo.”

*(”I love you”)

Soldier 76

Jack would often work himself near death. He had been out on a mission for five months now. Sure you were worried but at least he’d call once a week so it wasn’t as hard to pull through. You kept the houseclean and made food for yourself, because god if Jack found a single pack of packaged food he’d flip. He was always a homemade food kid.

The night he returned was as if it was the second coming of Jesus. You had been sleeping when you awoke from a loud thud. You sat up and groggily rubbed your eyes as you felt the bed shift under a foreign weight. Turning a little, you came face to face with Jack who pulled you in his arms tiredly.

You slowly gasped a little and kissed his neck and jawline as he gently petted your hair, humming in satisfaction. “You’re back!” you yawned out as he hummed again, “Yeah I’m back darling.. Sorry I woke you up.” he mumbled as he kissed your forehead and pulled back a little. He gently caressed your cheek with a calloused hand, gently rubbing out some tears from your half lidded eyes.

Jack smiled at you and pulled you in a hug as he lied down, “Let’s get some sleep now soldier. I missed hugging you like this..” he said as he closed his eyes with you hugging him tightly, your head resting on his chest as you heard his heartbeat lull you back to sleep.

8

This was yesterday’s unfucking. Lots more to get done today! What you can’t see is that I did a major cleaning out of the big pharma cabinet above my kitchen sink, prior to taking the “before” picture. I got rid of probably 50+ bottles of old medications. I feel good about it, as it still looks the same this morning, despite my son and my ex’s son (both teenagers) being up and active, long after the kids and I went to bed. My goal today is to get the remainder of my main floor unfucked. This leaves a lot on my plate for the day…one 45/15 at a time.

anonymous asked:

Um... I know you said NSFW requests but I dont really have any on my mind ehehe... BUT! Do you think you could do the RFA and an MC who loves housecleaning and house-work? If not thats okay I just thought it would be nice >w<

This is so friggin cute! Thanks for sending this one in, I had so much fun writing it. Honestly, I love washing dishes (mindless work so I can think over plot lines) and vacuuming carpet flooring. Something about a spotless, clear carpet and those light/dark patterns that the vacuum makes going back and forth…mostly its just an illusion of productivity lol wow I’m such a weirdo ok lets move on

Pupper Yoosung:

  • If he’s not raging at LOLOL, then he’s busy dealing everything university has to throw at him or at least he should be
  • As a uni student, the poor boy has little to no time to keep his dorm room clean I relate so hard pls help so isn’t he damn lucky to have you
  • Poor baby didn’t even realize how much of a mess he made until he looked away from the computer screen and saw how different it all looked wait is that the actual colour of the kitchen counter??
  • He’ll protest when he sees you picking up after him or cooking him dinner
  • “MC, no you can’t clean my mess I’m a big boy
  • But low-key he loves being pampered. It just makes him feel all warm inside that you love him enough to want to take care of him

Baehee Jaehee:

  • She’s a pretty clean woman to begin with - a clean environment makes for a productive mind and all that - which is surprising given how busy she always is
  • Poor baby doesn’t even have time to eat decent meals or catch her breath I’m lookin’ at you mista trustfund kid
  • So can you imagine the utter relief on her face when she finally drags her ass home from work late at night only to find a hot homemade meal prepared just for her!?
  • She feels kind of bad that you’re alway fussing over her health and making sure she doesn’t need to worry about housework after spending obscene hours at work
  • Ofc you reassure her that you actually like cooking and keeping your shared apartment clean - it makes you feel useful and honestly a clean living space just makes you feel 10x less stressed
  • And it hasn’t escaped your notice how OCDish Jaehee is about cleanliness and the kind
  • The cute coffee bean that she is she’s always giving you handy lil tips just like that whole duct tape and cat hair thing - tbh it probably comes in handy when you shed a ton of hair around the house

Lovely Zen:

  • Ok this idiot - the workaholic with only beer and water in his fridge - probs isn’t a clean guy lets be honest
  • Dating you doesn’t change his crazy work schedule (and multiple workouts per day -_-) so he makes it home barely in time for dinner, if at all
  • At first, he isn’t used to eating such wholesome meals but after a stern glare on your part and a “aww, Jagi, you’re so cute when you’re trying to act all tough” from him (that got him a night on the couch for sure) he quietly adheres to your domestic side
  • His fav part is coming home early sometimes and just leaning against the doorway to watch as you vacuum the living room, your iPod blasting, and singing at the top of your lungs
  • Honestly, these little wifey quirks of yours turn him the hell on u n l e a s h  t h e b e a s t
  • Since he ran away from home, its been entirely too long since he’s really been a part of the family home lifestyle and so he really cherishes this side of you that allows him to have that in his life again

Daddy Jumin:

  • Wanting to cook him homemade meals instead of the chef? He can understand that. In fact, he loves it. Loves coming home to the smell of something you’ve made with your own hands, just for him. It’s just another piece of you that ties you to him as his wife possessive fucker
  • getting down and dirty on the roof top garden to grow your fav flowers and herbs? He can deal with that. What Mrs. Jumin Han wants, Mrs. Jumin Han gets, yeah?
  • But then he came home to surprise you for lunch and found you washing the dishes….um what?
  • this poor little confused bonbon
  • “But MC, what about the maid? You don’t need to be doing this. You’ll damage your soft skin and….”
  • You tried to explain to him how therapeutic it was for you to clean the penthouse. Things like washing dishes allowed you to just let your mind wander and it made you feel productive. Besides, being cooped up in the penthouse was boring AF. I mean, there’s only so much time you can spend being pampered and laying around on every piece of furniture before you start going bonkers
  • He was annoyed that you would do this when he was at work so he wouldn’t know about it and really wanted to put his foot down on this no wife of Jumin Han would be getting her hands dirty with manual labour but you wouldn’t hear of it. You sort of came to a compromise where you could clean the kitchen after using it, but the maid would most def be cleaning the rest of the penthouse. 

GOD Seven:

  • Oh lord this hot mess lives in an even bigger mess
  • Like it gives you actual anxiety seeing the state of the bunker Vanderwood relates so hard omfg
  • So while your precious little tomato head is working obsessively, you’re tackling the Loch Ness monster that is the dirty laundry and chip bags amassing on the dirty floor.
  • His jaw actually hit the ground when he finally crawled out of his office that he’d been holed in for hours on end
  • “MC, when did we get a new carpet in the bedroom?”
  • h o l y f u c k b o i
  • “no, Saeyoung, that’s the actual colour of your floor”
  • That was actually your first task when you came to the bunker and you kept it up ever since, all the while slowly training your husband to stop being such a piece of shit Vanderwood’s words not urs
  • Like Saeyoung felt guilty enough to make a conscious effort to clean up after himself. He felt like enough of a failure already and hating himself for making his wife clean up after his stupid ass was wholly unnecessary
  • But he also loved that he had someone by his side who loved him and stuck by him despite all his messy habits cut the bby some slack he deserves to be shown all the love in the universe so he took all your scoldings quietly and just gazed at you with hearts in his eyes, still having a hard time believing you were real

- admin Shay

Barrio Slums and More

I’m already starting part two so let me know what you guys think please :)

Stupid big corporation economy. Stupid private schools with stupid unreasonable tuitions. Stupid Lance for thinking he could handle it.

All he’d wanted was to make his family proud. To be a good example for his siblings and younger cousins in comparison to the dead beats his older cousins had become. He wanted to show them it was possible to go out and explore the world and get more than their shitty neighborhood in Houston slums. That it was good to dream big and go for what you wanted. That they were more than the stereotype.

They weren’t just meant for a hand-me-down mechanics shop, housecleaning, gardening, and street-vending. They were meant for more. They could be astronauts, doctors, lawyers, writers, anything.

Lance!”

The angry booming voice of his grandfather pierced through his regret as he cleaned the dishes at his tia’s restaurant. It was almost bankrupt, and hardly anyone came in, especially with the location. It was hidden, and it looked shabby on the outside. A ditch by the parking lot, and potholes littered across the parking lot like polka dots. A phone booth that was half knocked over and covered in graffiti stood nearby. It was a miracle his tia had managed this long.

“Don’t worry, mijito,” she would say. “As soon as this goes down, I’m opening my salon.” Lance never tried to mention the lack of money that would diminish that dream.

“Yes, Papo?” he answered, scrubbing the plates more fiercely.

“Don’t forget to stop by the shop later so we can fix your mother’s car.” He nodded and delved into the dishes again.

Lancito,” he heard his tia Carla croon. “Go wait that table please, honey, I have some bills to look over. I’ll finish those or Dianita will.”

“Okay,” he mumbled. He didn’t mind working. It was more the fact that everyone thought he was working the restaurant and the mechanic shop for summer money. They had no idea he was here for good. That he was stuck. That he’d failed.

He walked out to the tables, wiping his hands on his apron and grabbed the tray of drinks he assumed were theirs since they were the only table occupied. “Sweet tea?” he asked. A guy with a weird white streak in his hair waved. “Soda?” A heavyset guy with tribal tattoos along his arm and a child with wide glasses raised their hands dismissively. “And this is yours then,” he said, setting down the lemonade in front of a boy with long hair pulled into a low ponytail. Several strands fell forward regardless. “Ready to order?”

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People can forgive toxic parents, but they should do it at the conclusion—not at the beginning—of their emotional housecleaning. People need to get angry about what happened to them. They need to grieve over the fact that they never had the parental love they yearned for. They need to stop diminishing or discounting the damage that was done to them. Too often, “forgive and forget” means “pretend it didn’t happen.”

I also believe that forgiveness is appropriate only when parents do something to earn it. Toxic parents, especially the more abusive ones, need to acknowledge what happened, take responsibility, and show a willingness to make amends. If you unilaterally absolve parents who continue to treat you badly, who deny much of your reality and feelings, and who continue to project blame onto you, you may seriously impede the emotional work you need to do. If one or both parents are dead, you can still heal the damage, by forgiving yourself and releasing much of the hold that they had over your emotional well-being.

At this point, you may be wondering, understandably, if you will remain bitter and angry for the rest of your life if you don’t forgive your parents. In fact, quite the opposite is true. What I have seen over the years is that emotional and mental peace comes as a result of releasing yourself from your toxic parents’ control, without necessarily having to forgive them. And that release can come only after you’ve worked through your intense feelings of outrage and grief and after you’ve put the responsibility on their shoulders, where it belongs.

—  Susan Forward, Toxic Parents, ch 9
Rogue One: Catalyst: Thoughts

- link to my other Rogue One blabberings -

Finally finished reading Rogue One: Catalyst by James Luceno, or as it’s also known by:

  • Lyra Erso: Badass;
  • Lyra Erso: They Could Have Easily Created Parallels Between You and Chirrut+Baze in the Film Instead of Ignoring Your Existence;
  • Lyra/Galen OTP Fever: How to Write a Strong, Balanced Couple While Still Giving Them Relationship Hurdles;
  • “I’m Thirsty for You and Your D, Galen,” Screams Krennic Into the Rain
    • with foreword by Galen Erso, “Who Is This? And What Does He Mean By My D?”
    • and annotated by Lyra Erso, *The dickbag is talking about the Death Star, honey.
  • Tarkin/Krennic: Hux/Kylo Ren Got Nothing On This Hate Couple
  • and finally: Jyn Erso Is A Normal Human Child: how this makes her future character arc 1000x more painful

NB: Have only seen the RO film and have now read this book. This is going to be long and about 90% quotes related to characterization.

General Impression:

  • Writing was okay. Not great, but not bad. (This is especially apparent since I’ve just started reading the RO novelization, and the difference in quality is pretty startling.) Nice quick read.
  • Lyra is fantastic.
  • Galen is pretty interesting.
  • Jyn is adorable and normal, and it breaks my heart.
  • Krennic is… wow, I just want to laugh because he’s so absurd but also a Terrible Human Being.
  • Tarkin is fascinating (see waaaay below for details).

Lyra Erso

  • No one holds this bitch down.
    • “She had no recourse. She wasn’t built to hold things in; to be complacent or compliant.”
    • “Some of Orson’s remarks had made her wonder whether she and Galen were under surveillance, or even whether her personal comlink might be bugged. But she didn’t care either way. Orson may have drawn the line in the sand, but she would be the one to step over it.”

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