shit the signs prob do/say

*from my experience*

Aries: bad bad texters, make everything obvious, *randomly curses at u* (not a surprise if u find them talking to themselves), crazy drivers vroom vroom, *screams but cools down after 3 min*, laughs manically when angry, looks focused about everything,  jokes about things that’ll make you widen your eyes (rly personal shit)

Taurus: asks when and where they’ll be able to eat, make literally 0 sense sometimes, lazy bean always saying they’re tired, virgo #2, will fight u, takes their fights seriously, MI X ED SIGNALS!!?!!?!?

Gemini: “idk I like them but I don’t, you get me?”, hates it when u repeat music but they do the same shit, acts smart but can’t backup their arguments, rly loud laughers, *screenshots everything*, repeats their jokes until someone laughs at it

Cancer: adds everything w daddy, “im not emotional wtf”, likes to be derpy, either babies u or likes being babied, becomes victim if u dont return affection, has atleast accidentally called their teacher mom/dad once, “send that to me!”

Leo: actually leaves yelp reviews, s/o > frnds/u, dramatically cries when hungry, “lets take an uber”, turn to preachers at random times, #triggered, goes to places just for the pictures

Virgo: judged u atleast once, involves themselves in drama & accidentally becomes a victim, not scared of u, independent woman who dont need no man (unless u got some leo in u), my opinion > urs

Libra: literally wild af, talks really loud, says shit without even thinking twice omg??, wings everything, air head #2, s a ssy, “idc if they don’t like me……but why tho”, leo #2, have dank memes to back up their argument, most likely to send u a nude/ or have u call them daddy/mami, suggest i v e

Scorpio: text them at 4 am and they’ll reply, actually really hate spooky shit, could pull off as Geminis if they weren’t so mysterious, also looks rly hot, thinks about every bad scenario, the worriers, staring at you either means they hate u or they like u pick one

Sagittarius: *freedomly flirts*, so harsh like ouch?, the type to ask u to dinner and say they forgot their wallet, says no but does it anyways,  *shows u a song then reminds u they showed u it everytime u listen to it*, mimics everything, most likely to wear something that’ll grab someone’s attention

Capricorn: *looks rlly powerful but likes a dominant person*, lets you copy their hw #realOG, looks rly confused, depended on 167% of the time, looks rly hot, looks so serious but is really singing in their heads, ride or die

Aquarius: air head #1, say the weirdest shit sometimes omg?, leo #3, won’t apologize for none, probably already found out the secret to life, doesn’t hide anything, “im n o t we a  k”, makes a joke bout everything

Pisces: more sensitive than cancer like wyd astrology, says “what” after you just explained yourself, “dude what if like…”, oblivious , person: look at that cute person pisces: where?! *looks everywhere but the cute person*, no one knows what they’re thinking

I’m teetering on a balance beam. These cool girls that exist on social media, that have perfectly wild hair and those slightly irritating overtures, but then an overruling charm seeps into their laugh, and perfectly crooked bottom teeth … they have taken over the internet.

I missed my chance. I think. The year I decided to not take the job offer in NYC. I missed that opportunity to buckle down and work out because I missed home, I missed another part of my being, that would have come through in that world. Maybe. I don’t know. I didn’t take that job interview in PHL as seriously as the 1,500 other girls that applied, kind of scoffed at the themes, and popularity. I didn’t consider that job in PDX to be worth a move away from my mother, which in reality would have almost been like cutting off my right arm. I suppose that leads to so many other maybes and missed things.

Maybe I missed the opportunity to date men who ushered me around on their arms or them on mine for fashion week events, or to dinners so perfectly curated in $2000 dollar a night at up state functions. Maybe I missed the opportunity to marry the man who would have built a house and business with me from the ground up had I just settled in and asked. 

I’m no longer a blogger. I’m a woman in her mid twenties disillusioned by internet personas, I like color schemes and I take photos of things I like.

 I’m agitated.

You ever play that card game bullshit? I’m playing my 50th round and I’m hoping we play another game soon. But instead of me being able to leave, more and more bullshitters pull up with exterior charm and walls built as high as the elephant’s eye. 

I’m hoping you and I get to slip out of the game room and into the kitchen or onto the porch, where I get to ask you about how you feel about your life. Where I tell you the last time I opened my mouth and hurt someone with my own selfishness. I hope you give me perspective. Because I think we should find moments in life to share the truth behind the bullshit. Not just cruise through on filters, and idolize women who walk the fucking plank of reality, dipping their toes and dropping their hips for showmanship. 

I’m ready to jump, stick the landing. I felt like I left my competitive nature at the door. I miss when I was 19 and the internet was this abyss in which we all supported each others floundering efforts to get to know ourselves and others. 

My fave is when Keith is the first to realize he has a crush on Lance like… Have you seen this beautiful boy, Lance Mcclain… Keith can’t take it HE LOOKS AT LANCE AND HE WONDERS HOW HE GOT HERE BUT HE ADORES EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM. FROM HIS LAUGH, SMILE, FLIRTING, JOKES!!! HE jUST wants to hold his hand and smooch Lance and he is just baffled,,,, I love pining Keith so goddamn much.