house-hunters

hgtv couples be like

“we want 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms”

“an open concept floor plan”

“with a huge kitchen”

“because we love to entertain :)”

“a separate office space for both of us”

“and also a workout room”

“on a quiet street”

“actually can you make that on our same street? :)”

“it has to be move in ready”

“but he likes really modern sleek design aesthetics”

“and she likes very old classic contemporary victorian colonials”

“so it has to have both of those”

“totally updated appliances”

“and high end touches like a steam shower and a wine cellar”

“also a little apartment set apart for guests and in-laws :)”

“because we like to entertain :) :)”

“oh our budget? it’s 300,000 and not a penny above :) :) :) :)”

House Hunters International Drinking Game

Take a drink whenever…

  • Someone asks where the dishwasher is
  • Idiot American is confused that everything is smaller in [Non-US Country]
  • Someone mentions “entertaining guests”
  • Husband/boyfriend/male spouse makes a joke about his female partner’s massive amount of clothes and/or shoes
  • Wife/girlfriend/female spouse makes a joke about her massive amount of clothes and/or shoes
  • Both the man and the woman make a joke about the woman’s massive amount of clothes and/or shoes
  • “Open floor plan”
  • Laughably small budget
  • Depressingly large budget
  • Someone has clearly not researched what living is [Country] is like

300k on house hunters: here’s a shack, you might be able to afford paint.
300k on fixer upper: here is an Irish castle that was moved brick by brick from it’s oceanside cliff. We can completely update it, with new appliances, and three pools. We’re also going to make it really personal for you and invite you to hang out at our cool farm.
300k on flip or flop: We bought this studio at an auction. It doesn’t have a ceiling, the walls have holes, and there is a family of racoons living in the floor. We’re going to cover everything in granite and sell it for a million dollars.