house of the book

The Houses as Bookworms
  • Gryffindor: absolutely adores books but still wishes they read more, takes really aesthetic book photos, doesn’t waste their time on a book they know they won’t like, pretty critical about book to movie adaptations, considers other people’s reviews before picking up a book, reads their books in class even when they probably shouldn’t, loves borrowing books from others
  • Hufflepuff: will plow through book after book and then not read for an entire month, attempts to organize books alphabetically or by colour but in the end just tries to squeeze them in anywhere, probably re-reads more old books than they read new books, only presents they want are books, may not finish books super quickly but loves them nonetheless
  • Ravenclaw: reads books at an alarming rate, can and will read on any form of transportation, wears glasses, instead of listening to music they’re actually listening to audio books, starts reading a good book but then gets distracted by another and completely forgets about the old one, usually critical of the protagonist.
  • Slytherin: attempts to read over 20 books at the same time, ships everything, loves it when they’re friends read a book that they recommend,they have to finish the whole series no matter what, gets defensive when someone doesn’t recognize them as a reader, wants to read all the books their friends have read so they can contribute their own opinions to discussions
Real talk - Hogwarts Houses

Listen up folks!
So, we all know about our Hogwarts houses and we also know that it is an unspoken rule that your Hogwarts house is kind of your own very important, very chaotic but also very lovable family.

However, I am slowly but steadily getting sick of hearing:

“Oh, you’re a Slytherin, so you are an evil piece of shit.”

Like, no. Kindly f*ck off. It’s true that once you have pissed me off, I’ll make your life miserable, but that doesn’t mean that I’m evil, at least not per se.

And this does not only go for Slytherins.
It goes for every house.

Gryffindors aren’t reckless.
Hufflepuffs aren’t vulnerable.
Ravenclaws aren’t boring.
Slytherins aren’t evil.

You wanna know how I know? Apart from the obvious evidence given in the books, let’s just take one short look at their freakin’ crests.


Their house animal is a bloody lion!
Yes, it’s true that male lions sometimes fight recklessly. BUT, a lion pride has a strict hierarchy and rules which are to be followed. The young lions are to be protected at all cost and the pride is literally living together. Whether they are hunting or grooming each other or simply lying on the sun together. They protect each other, the pride and their territory.

So, should you ever think that Gryffindors are happy go lucky idiots , than you are most likely fucking wrong. Thank you very much.


Oh boy, don’t even get me started… You think a badger is cute and harmless? Well, yes they are, but still. Have you ever heard of the honey-badger? Probably the most badass living mammal I have ever heard of. That animal eats snakes! Freakin’ snakes!!
It digs out the honey out off a bee hive and gets stung ten to twenty times and simply does not give a shit.

If you still think Hufflepuffs are vulnerable you better get ready to get your ass kicked.


Alright, so, Ravenclaws always read and have a stick up their arse? Well, think again!
Their animal is a motherfudging eagle. That creature is so epic even Americas bald eagle loses its feathers. Have you seen its claws? Because I have and they certainly aren’t just for decoration.

They might have their head in the clouds but from up there they can see all your flaws so shut the fuck up about Ravenclaws being boring.


Yes, you say the snake is an evil demon? Well , you thought wrong, asshat! It’s true that the snake is a sign of the wicked, but it is also known for its wisdom and healing. Snake poison is indeed used for certain antidotes hence the use of the snake as the sign of medicine.
Furthermore , in mythology it is the symbol of eternity and primal energy (Uroborus.)

So yeah, you wanna say that I’m a piece of shit? Okay, maybe so. But that has nothing to do with my Hogwarts house. So leave it.

Rainbow Playbills Take Over Broadway as Fourth Annual Playbill Pride Kicks Off

  • Friend: "Let's watch Harry Potter!" *grabs Goblet of Fire*
  • Me: "Yesss! Let- what the fuck are you doing?"
  • Friend: "Well, I like this one-"
  • Me: "We watch them all from the beginning. You can't just jump ahead."
  • Friend: "We don't have enough ti-"
  • Me: "Bitch, we will make time. Sit down and shut up."
  • Ravenclaw: So you don't have feelings for that Hufflepuff?
  • Slytherin: Psh of course not.
  • Ravenclaw: Oh ok, good, 'cause I heard that person from Gryffindor seemed interested.
  • Slytherin: I will decapitate them.
  • Ravenclaw: But I thought-
  • Slytherin: *Pulls out a machete*
The Houses Remember


The house from wild moor remembers that courage doesn’t always mean to stand up against the enemy. Sometimes it means to speak up and against a close friend. The lion remembers that sometimes the smallest cub can grow to be the strongest of the pride. The one who will let his roar echo through the eons of this earth. And the ones wearing red won’t forget that friendship sometimes comes disguised as rivalry.


The house from valley broad remembers that it takes sacrifice to build a life worth living. That sometimes it isn’t enough to sit and hope, that sometimes you have to break the rules in order to find justice and fairness. The badger remembers that even the lovliest rose has its thornes which are needed in order to survive. And the ones with the yellow crown on their head will always ache with the knowledge the treason comes from the one you considered your friend.


The house from glen remembers that not even a peregrine is faster than a word spoken in anger. That a broken bone can mend and heal but a broken soul can not be fixed as easily. The eagle remebers that it is his decision whether he wants to fly with the wind of change or let his feathers be ruffled. And the ones waring the blue crest on their chest will always keep in mind that there are more important things in life than books and knowledge.


The house from fen remembers that if you want to speak the truth you will need a fast horse, because the truth might be good but it is rarely gracious. The snake remembers that stars can only shine in darkness and that the night was made for healing. That sometimes it is the darkness and the cold that are the ones that soothe your mind. And the proud ones carrying the green banners have it carved into the dephts of their souls that sometimes heroes are those who have died in vain.