Eliana looked down at her phone, she got a message from a new number.
Eliana, I know you’re mad at me. You have every right to be. But you knew I was going to do this yesterday, and I can’t go back. I quit my job last night and I signed over the papers to my house to Harper. Please don’t let her see this text Eliana… I have to do this, I’ve spent far too long trying to figure out what I want, and I know now. I would really like if you could come see me, i’m at the Bluffs.
Canaveral departed from the Cathedral and it’s square, attempting to rid her thoughts of the squire inside it. Lorna was right. She didn’t need to worry. So why the fuck did she?
Her hands shoved into her pockets as the red-head glanced around with a cautious eye. Past the office and clinic she went. Tonight was not the night to poke her head in and see what was up with others. She knew that it wouldn’t be her intention, but it would happen anyways. Bit by bit, she was starting to give a shit about these people more than her pay was worth. Of course, Lady Reinhardt wanted people to do such willingly not as part of the pay. Initially Cana was looking forward to having purpose among people. A place among equals.
Then she started to care a bit more about certain people. First Ranger Koraceyn, Lady Miersae, Sir Caerow, Lorna of course…. but no, caring for those four a tad and minding her own business wasn’t enough. Then along came Vana and Emillia, and Jenny, and even that tiny little Gnome man Manaboom. Where the fuck did his arm go? Why the hell did she even care after the time he almost blew them up, or gotten into outrageous situations? Jenny’s party was a prime example of that… and why the hell was Cana at that party in the first place? Oh right, to check on Jenny because she got attacked. By what, she never got an answer to, and even now -
”Uuuuugghhh stop. Stop. Just… Stop it! There are too many people with too many damn problems to worry on each of them,” she growled to herself, trying to contain her rage and concern and all the emotions she did not want right now. “None of this was even a problem before….”
Silence overcame her. She remembered when she started to be more aware of it. It was a get together - a Meet and Greet that she was reminded of her past. That night, she nearly turned and charged at her associates who were trying to help Lorna. They were over her, three of them, while she cried out for her father…
A gust of wind reminded Cana to stop walking on the pier. She looked around trying to keep a distant memory from her past out of her head. Lorna’s situation had nearly been contorted into a memory she desperately tried to keep in the back of her mind…. The only difference was Kam never cried out. She never got the chance.
She realized at that point, her greatest fear: hurting others as her Worgen form. If she knew there was someone around, who could beat her, or at least subdue her true self….
Cana let herself look at the pond. It’s surface rippled, reminding her how dangerous it was though it looked at peace. She moved away, heading back towards the much more stable land. She of what she was going to do…
Somehow, she needed to at least find someone who could stop her. She would not be able to live freely if she did not. Exposing her weakness would bring on their own problems. Yet if she thought of is, Cana remembered the strength of determination, the force of love, and the power in being vulnerable….
She thought to the one who embodied all three. She recalled a time when they were within her own grasp…. Perhaps she was not the only one incapacitated.