house of fielded


I’m going to be working as a Prairie Dog Field Technician this summer is Saskatchewan. Living in a field house in the middle of nowhere with 6-7 other techs and biologists. The town has a population of 130-150 people. So literally buttfuck nowhere except that it’s near the entrance to Grasslands National Park where we will be doing our work. I’m gonna be living without mountains from May to October. I’ll be doing ACTUAL SCIENCE though soooo it’s worth. Now to send an email quitting the other job (with better pay but no scienceing) I got. This isn’t the dream job, but it’s another step in the right direction. Slowly but surely I am on my way to becoming a biologist. 

Most people in my class are Vancouver born and bred and have never moved and someone asked me how I manage to constantly be moving and what it entails. I didn’t realize it until then, but other than 1 year in my parents basement after uni in 2012 and 1.5 years in an apartment in Calgary in 2014/2015, I’ve moved every 4-8 months since I graduated high school in 2007. Even in uni I moved houses each school year. In the next 5 years I would like to be more settled, but for now I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Who knows what will happen in the fall once my contract ends, but I am hoping to make it back out to the coast. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it though. For now, life is once again going to change in a big way. 

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.