I Tried To Be The Doe But I Am A Lioness-Cersei Lannister~ A New Reign Part One
A NOTE:CERSEI IS NOT EXACTLY CANON IN THIS. I HAVE DONE MY OWN TAKE ON HER SLIGHTLY SO THAT IS WHY THIS IS WHAT IT IS. THANK YOU AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS!
She was beyond excited for the wedding. Robert Baratheon, First of His Name, would soon belong to Lady-no, Queen-Cersei of House Lannister.
She had been at the table the whole night, sipping her wine, smiling, whilst her husband went to go speak with his friends. Whilst her husband danced with whores. Whilst her husband drank more than any man should have. Still, she was young and she loved him.
Only one man was decent enough to ask about her, whether she was alright and that was Ned Stark. Oh, how she hoped Robert was as good a man as Ned was. She smiled and talked to him and his betrothed, wishing them a happy life as they did her.
No other man did try and talk to her as well as Ned did, except for her brother Tyrion. Though he was drunk, he still somehow cared for his sister. And she was sad, so she let him care. And so they did converse, though the bitterness that Cersei had for him had not fully disappeared, it was only clouded by wine and illusions of a happy marriage.
Before long, the cries of congratulations had become cries of rejoicing at the bedding ceremony. Though Robert looked slightly regretful, looking at his bride’s face, he carried on nonetheless. Her father was a terrifying man, and any man that could order the murder of a woman and her children so brutally was definitely a man to be wary of.
They had been stripped of their clothing and then whispered words, words of how to please a man, words of how to please a woman, words of encouragement and words of sympathy. Then they were brought to their chambers, naked except for a thin cotton gown that modestly covered Cersei.
It was odd, to just do it then and there, so Robert ordered everyone out,“You can see for yourself on the sheets tomorrow, get out!”
Then Cersei had smiled gratefully, a small smile. Robert had suggested that they sit on the bed, quickly taking a sheet to cover his parts then beckoning Cersei to sit with him. She eagerly did, and they started to talk instead of consummate.
Before long though, words had turned to kisses and kisses into moans. Cersei had thought in that moment, that perhaps their life would be a happy one. She could see golden.
But then he had whispered her name, the name of the dead girl, the dead girl who he preferred over the living, breathing one. The golden started to sour, started to turn to green. She had tried to understand, and he had apologised profusely, saying he got caught up in the wrong thoughts, and that she was a beautiful woman, and that he shouldn’t have done what he had. She had smiled and said it was alright, that he was still getting over the war. They had gone to sleep that night, with his arm around her body.
The next morning they had awoken, and called the handmaidens to prepare breakfast in the gardens. He helped her get dressed and she him, then he aided her walking from the “soreness” between her legs. She had to make him believe, after all, who would love a woman that had been with her brother? she had thought. They had breakfast that day, together, and then they walked, and talked, and pretended like the last night had not happened. She was hurt, but tried, for his sake and for her sake. Though he was nothing compared to Rhaegar. No one was.
They had walked till the Godswood, then Robert had smiled at her and presented her with a golden chain. Two pendants hung from it, a golden lion and a golden stag. “To remind you of our union, but to remind you that you are free.” He had said.
She smiled and through her arms around him. That day had been pleasant, she remembered it well. The next day, and the next day, turned into a week of pleasant days and then a year. A year of good, pleasant marriage.
But now she looked back on it, wondering why it had soured. Why he had whispered that stupid dead girl’s name. Now she looked back at her husband’s death, her sons and her daughters. Loras’ and Margaery’s. Kings Landing.
You are free, he had whispered all those years ago. Yet today, she felt truly free.
For so many years, I’ve tried to be a Stag, to be a doe, but I am a Lioness. I am not a toy.
It feels good to watch them burn. I might watch the flames for a while, they are so pretty.