house appliances

Ok but you know what trope I love and don’t get NEARLY enough of?

Accidental sex

“Anything you can do I can do better INCLUDING THAT” sex

“You played a prank on me and now I’m going to play one on you except oops this accidentally got hot” sex

“You made an inaccurate assumption about *insert sexual or sexuality misnomer here* and I’m going to teach you the truth” sex

“You think you’re so smart so I’m going to teach you a lesson” sex

“Do you think I look good/hot/provocative in this? Wait is this turning you on???” sex

“You don’t know what *insert kink here* is and I’m really bad at explaining things and now we’re doing it oops” sex

“I bet I can dance/move/act like that and I don’t even have to be a dancer/stripper/actor/whatever wait are you turned on?” sex

“I lost a bet to you and the circumstances were supposed to be a joke but I took them seriously” sex

“You were joking about something and I took you seriously” sex

“You seem to think that __ won’t feel good and I intend to prove you wrong” sex

“You’re intentionally getting under my skin so I threaten to spank you/playfully spank you and now you look like you just got banged against a wall” sex

“I didn’t know you were a sub and when I called you a good boy/girl you almost cried” sex

“I didn’t know you were a dom and when I called you Sir/Ma'am you almost jumped me” sex

“Playing a prank on our freinds to make them think we’re a couple and now we’re in bed together” sex

“I’m fixing you *insert appliance/furniture/house thing hee* for you and now I’m sweaty and half naked and you’re drooling” sex

“I noticed the way you were watching me eat this popsicle so I purposely started making it an inuendo and now we’re both hot and bothered” sex

“Haha that thing they do in movies/porn/online is so corny like no way that’s actually hot haha oops it is” sex

“Freinds can totally watch porn together and nothing can happen…. no they can’t” sex

“I showed you *insert sexual thing here* as a joke but you’re actually turned on” sex

“You found my sex toys and I teasingly offered to demonstrate them welp here we are” sex

“I started pretending to dirty talk to you an hour ago and it stopped being pretending 58 minutes ago” sex

“All I’m saying is that I’ve been told I’m a good lay, wanna find out?” sex

“You said you don’t like __ but I bet the people you were with just don’t know how to do it, I, however, have experience and bet I could make you like it” sex

“We platonically slept together last night because of circumstances and we both woke up horny” sex

“This started as a tickle fight and it isn’t tickling anymore” sex

“We’re just bros being bros and doing something 100% platonic but somehow we’re turning eachother on because of not-so-burried feelings for eachother and we can’t make it stop” sex

Accidental sex ok?

anonymous asked:

What just blows my mind about these anti-climate nuts is that let's imagine for a second that everything they say is true, global warming is a hoax and a con. What's the down-sides to moving away from dirty energy? Less air and water pollution (which kills millions every year globally), appliances/cars/houses with higher efficiency (aka lower cost to run), energy independence (no more oil wars), healthier and more productive citizens (and in turn economies) - like the list goes on and on and on.

Reminds me of this excellent cartoon:

Couple on House Hunters
  • Couple: This house is everything we have ever dreamed of. It's $75,000 under budget, in a beautiful neighborhood, a reasonable commute time to work, and located in a fantastic school district.
  • Couple: but it doesn't have stainless steel appliances so instead of spending $3,000 for those appliances we're gonna pick the house that is over budget by $50,000, has fewer and smaller rooms,longer commute, noisy neighborhood with rude neighbors, all because it already has stainless steel appliances.

Tord: I run a workshop around these parts! I mostly get paid for repairing things, such as vehicles, robotics, house appliances, or anything mechanical, you name it!

Tord: Mmm, all sorts of kinds. As of now I’ve made stuff like remote controlled toys, steam-powered robots, prosthetics….and maybe a portable sofa, once.

As for guns- I like ‘em, and I own a few but I do not make them. No further comment.

Tord: Depends. Small projects tend to take about a week, while robots with built-in AI take several weeks or months. Maybe less if I don’t sleep. 

Tord: I’ve considered working on huge projects before though, probably something cool like….a giant robot. But that would take me literally years or decades…

Just kidding. I do not have the time, nor funds to build such a thing.

source

Hogwarts Houses as Household Appliances

for @tardispie24601

Gryffindor: A microwave- once was considered dangerous, but very helpful, good for accomplishing a task quickly with minimum effort

Slytherin: A clothes iron- used to improve one’s appearance and make them appear more professional and organized, a very old tool

Ravenclaw: A fridge- works in ways hard to understand for someone who hasn’t been taught, good for keeping things for later / thinking ahead of time

Hufflepuff: A dishwasher- reduces a large workload by doing it systematically for you, makes it far easier to accomplish a routine task

Yuuri’s mother gets very excited about birthdays, especially when she discovered Victor’s and decided it gave her an excuse to get excited over Christmas too. The first time it came around, she sent close to 40 presents, ranging from big to small, and still does every year. They can be anything from random trinkets she’s spotted, to hand made matching sweaters, to expensive and unnecessary house appliances. The worst gifts, in Yuuri’s opinions, are the Yuuri-merch she sends Victor that she somehow finds… Victor loves it, naturally.

THE SODDER FAMILY TRAGEDY

On Christmas Eve 1945, five of the Sodder Children—Maurice, 14; Martha 12; Louis, 9; Jennie, 8; and Betty, 5 — were trapped inside the family home when it caught fire at 1 a.m. Their father George tried valiantly to save them, but he couldn’t reenter the house. His daughter Marion raced to a neighbor’s place to call for the fire department, but no help arrived until 8 a.m. By then, the house was nothing but a pile of ash.

The remaining Sodders assumed the children were dead, but the Christmas Day search of the remains showed no bodies. It was suggested by the fire chief that the fire had been hot enough to completely cremate all five bodies.

But there was something else to consider. George Sodder, born Giorgio Soddu in Italy, was no fan of Mussolini — and he was not quiet about it. After refusing to purchase insurance from a salesman mere months prior to the fire, the salesman threatened him by saying, “Your goddamn house is going to go up in smoke, and your children are going to be destroyed. You are going to be paid for the dirty remarks you have been making about Mussolini.” Additionally, the older Sodder sons had noticed just before Christmas a man parked near their house, watching the children as they came home from school.

Jennie Sodder, the matriarch of the family, didn’t understand how there could be five children who died in the fire and not leave anything behind. A crematorium employee told her that bones could still remain intact in a two-hour fire at 2,000 degrees. Their house had burned down in 45 minutes. She also noticed that in the basement of their house, household appliances were burned and melted, but recognizable.

Many more odd occurrences turned up as the family wondered how and why this happened to them—their wiring had been cut and was not faulty as previously expected, a witness said they saw someone fiddling with George’s car, a family member said they had heard something hit the roof shortly before the fire—but one of the strangest things that happened was almost 20 years later in 1968.

Jennie Sodder received a letter addressed only to her, postmarked Kentucky with no return address. There was a photo of a dark-haired man in his 20s. On the other side was a handwritten note:

Louis Sodder. I love brother Frankie. Ilil Boys. A90132 or 35.

The man bore a striking resemblance to presumed-dead Louis Sodder. The family jumped at the opportunity and sent a private investigator to Kentucky—he was never heard from again.

The last remaining Sodder, Sylvia, still doesn’t believe her siblings died in that fateful fire, but no one has any further clues as to where—or why—they disappeared.

Your Japanese Apartment

Hey there, JET newbies! If you’re in Group A, you’ve got less than a week to go before your arrival in Japan! Are you excited? I hope you are! At this point last year, I was a tightly-wound bundle of nerves, excitement, mild panic, and curiosity.  And the thing I was most curious about was my Japanese apartment!

I was never put into contact with a predecessor because Sapporo BoE JETs switch schools often and I was given a newly-furbished apartment. There are both pros and cons to a new place! On the one hand, it’s clean and the tatami mats, walls, and windows are nice, new, and functional. You also don’t have any leftover junk from previous ALTs. On the other hand, the furnishings provided by the BoE are usually the bare minimum and, though of perfectly good quality, aren’t the top-of-the-line.

Now, my apartment is a place in which I actually enjoy spending time, but in the beginning, it was a bit of a different story. As such, I thought I’d offer my advice on setting up a Japanese apartment!

WHAT’S PROVIDED:

Although this may change from year to year (and obviously from C.O. to C.O.), I was initially set up with:

  • Microwave
  • Refrigerator
  • Cooking range
  • Washing machine
  • Rice cooker
  • Small kitchen table and two matching chairs
  • Cushioned two-seater bench
  • Short coffee table
  • Full futon set
  • Vacuum
  • Basic kitchen supplies (forks, spoons, chopsticks, a pan, a pot, and a few plates/bowls)
  • Other knick-knacks (small drying rack for laundry, etc.)
  • Curtains for balcony windows, living room, bedroom windows, and bathroom area

As I mentioned before, all of the items were new and of medium quality. They all worked well and I was very happy to have them, but if you want anything a little nicer (like a real couch or a futon more than three inches thick), you’ll have to purchase those items yourself.

OTHER ESSENTIALS YOU SHOULD CONSIDER:

I was glad I brought more money than initially recommended by the JET Program, not only because there ended up being some unexpected fees, but because it gave me a better chance to set up quickly. Though my apartment seemed a little sparse but appropriately-furnished at first, when I went to unpack, I found myself floundering. For all that empty space, there was no place to put anything! As such, here are some of the first things I would recommend purchasing if you don’t have them:

  • Closet organizational pieces (shelves, drawers, etc.)
  • Standing closet rod set/separate wardrobe – DO NOT USE A TENSION ROD FOR YOUR PRIMARY CLOTHES CLOSET. TRUST ME.
  • Rolling drawer sets/dresser
  • Shelving units for sink area, washing machine, bathroom, and kitchen
  • Full-length mirror
  • Tall standing-fan(s)
  • Adhesive hooks
  • Basic tool kit
  • Cleaning supplies
  • Umbrella stand (and umbrellas!)

As I mentioned before, your primary goal should be maximizing your storage space. Though Japanese homes often have large closets and cabinets, the space isn’t always broken up into useable shelves and such. Your purchases don’t have to be fancy or expensive, but they should be sturdy.  Trust me, you’ll thank me later when you actually have a place to unpack your clothes and toiletries (within the first month, no less!).

NON-ESSENTIALS:

Once you’ve got yourself set-up and can unpack your things, you can start thinking about spending your spare cash on some fun non-essentials! These are the ones I bought after I dealt with the necessary stuff:

  • Larger futon and memory foam topper
  • TV
  • Speaker bar
  • Blackout curtains
  • Convection oven
  • Electric kettle
  • Blender
  • Couch
  • Kotatsu
  • Other decorative items

Some of the other ALTs also bought things like breadmakers and gaming consoles. Other than that, it’s up to you how you want to fill and decorate your place!

If you did have a predecessor and have a lot of stuff you want to get rid of, I’d recommend sorting through it for nice things you can give or sell to other ALTs/recycle shops. Then, for the rest, contact your supervisor or other ALTs to ask how you should dispose of the bulky refuse. For large items, you’ll usually need to pay for a disposal ticket and keep an eye out for the appropriate day on the trash schedule.

WHERE TO BUY THINGS:

Although there are tons of places where you can find the things you need, I’d highly recommend the following:

Nitori–

The Japanese IKEA! It offers decently-priced furniture and home items ranging from decent quality to really high quality. You can use their online store (they offer a cash-on-delivery payment option) or one of their physical locations (where you can have your items shipped home!). Most furniture comes with the tools necessary to put it together, but that basic toolkit I recommended above will go a long way.

Recycle shops–

What a steal! People in Japan tend to buy the latest models of things, so they donate perfectly nice and functional appliances and furniture items to secondhand shops. New tech in Japan is surprisingly expensive, so I’d definitely recommend getting your TVs, gaming consoles, etc. here.

Costco–

If you’re lucky enough to live near a Costco, you can grab tons of nice things for a pretty decent price. I actually snagged my Bluetooth speaker bar from here and it’s yet to disappoint me. Just keep in mind that getting things home is pretty difficult without a car, especially if you don’t live really close.

Dollar stores–

Cheap, cheap, CHEAP!  Hyaku-en shops aren’t known for their quality, but you can find almost anything you need here. I wouldn’t recommend buying their cleaning supplies (get your sprays n’ stuff from the grocery store!), but kitchen supplies, glassware/plates, utensils, and decorative items are all easily found and purchased. My personal favorite is Seria, but a lot of other ALTs really like Daiso.

Good luck setting up your new homes, newbies!