house and cameron

WE HAD ONE EPISODE. AN EPISODE WHERE ALL OUR SHIPS (ESPECIALLY CAMSTEN) ARE HAPPY, THEY SOLVE THE CASE AND HAVE THEIR ADORABLE HUMOR. BUT NOW WE MUST WAIT TWO WEEKS, AND ALL THE SHIT WILL HIT THE FAN. CAMERONS DAD IS POSSIBLY THE KILLER OF THEIR NEXT VICTIM, THESE ASSHOLES MOVED KIRSTENS MOM AGAIN, STINGER SHOWS UP AT IVYS HOUSE, AND CAMERON IS GETTING TARGETED FOR HIS DADS CRIMES. I AM GOING TO KEEP MY HAPPINESS FROM THIS EPISODE AS LONG AS I CAN AND NOT WORRY ABOUT SOMETHING HAPPENING IN TWO WEEKS. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

And they’re literally showing Finding Nemo on next Monday. Like THAT IS WHY THERES NO STITCHERS. SPOILER ALERT: NEMO WAS FOUND. WE CAN STOP LOOKING FOR HIM AND DO MORE IMPORTANT THINGS LIKE WATCH STITCHERS AND TEND TO CAMERON’S INJURIES

every episode of house ever
  • *episode opens with patient going about their every day life*
  • patient: owww my everything
  • *patient goes to hospital*
  • house: okay guys got any ideas
  • literally everyone: ehh probably meningitis
  • house: well you're wrong give him a lumbar puncture
  • foreman: house despite you being the head of our team we obviously know more than you
  • house: *joke about foreman being black*
  • foreman:
  • house:
  • foreman:
  • house:
  • chase: hey cameron you wanna bang later
  • cameron: fuk u
  • chase: eyyy she wants me ;0
  • patient: oww my everything
  • cameron: the patient is getting worse house what do we do
  • house: pfff fuck if i know
  • cameron: damn house you suck you're a terrible doctor he obviously has meningitis
  • house: give him some drugz idk
  • cameron: wow guys did you hear house telling us to give the patient drugs? damn he's a great doctor wouldn't you just like to bang him?
  • chase: >:(
  • cuddy: house go work in the clinic
  • house: no
  • cuddy: do it or else
  • house: ugh fine
  • *insert some comic-relief scene of house in the clinic with a dumb patient*
  • *meanwhile the first patient gets worse*
  • patient: owww now my eyes are green
  • chase: house his eyes are green and he is literally on the brink of death what do we do
  • *INSERT 30 SECOND LONG MONTAGE OF HOUSE GOING OVER THE FACTS*
  • house: gREEN EYES?! THIS IS A SIGN OF TITTY DEFLATION!
  • *insert a 3D animation of how the disease works with voice over of how it works*
  • house: only a shot of the super-duper-illegal anti-titty deflation vaccine that has not yet been made legal can save him now
  • cuddy: NO
  • house: YES
  • cuddy: NO
  • house: YES
  • cuddy: NO
  • house: fuk u bitch i do what i want lmao cuddy? more like slutty ayyyy
  • *house gives patient cure*
  • patient: wow, doctor! by some miracle you've cured me! And even the chronic pain in my back was fixed!
  • house: yet another symptom of your titty deflation
  • wilson: how did he have titty deflation? he doesn't have titties
  • house: shut up, wilson, you were probably irrelevant this episode
  • *"You Can't Always Get What You Want" plays*