It’s strange how your childhood sort of feels like forever. Then suddenly you’re sixteen and the world becomes an hourglass and you’re watching the sand pile up at the wrong end. And you’re thinking of how when you were just a kid, your heartbeat was like a kick drum at a rock show, and now it’s just a time bomb ticking out. And it’s sad. And you want to forget about dying. But mostly you just want to forget about saying goodbye.
It is part of my existence to be the parasite of metaphors, so easily am I carried away by the first simile that comes along. Having been carried away, I have to find my difficult way back, and slowly return to my senses.
Early on, the first season, one of the
very first episodes, I think, where I die in the corn, in the silo,
in the corn. I’m suffocated by the corn falling in on me, you know,
the dry whatever the grain is [kernels] that’s coming in the silo.
And I remember it was really scary. And the corn was really cold.
And it felt like, when it was falling on me, it felt like little
pebbles. It was really sharp and cold. And I got really scared.
When they pulled me out, when Tom comes and pulls me out… and they
had to wait for me to breathe. I had to be buried in it over my head
and there was this kind of tube that I was breathing through. And
then they’d have to pull it out for the shot and I’d have to hold my
breath until he came and got me. And I’m in it, you know, and I got
a little panicky. So… I always kind of like things like that
though, because the reaction is real. You don’t have to act it. You
know, someone’s pulling you out of this thing and you’re (heavy
breathing) you’re trying to gasp for air. But I was very thankful
for Tom Welling’s brute strength that day because he really did come
in and went wham! He pulled me out.