I quote the cancer crew so much in my day to day life and no one ever understands what I'm talking about.
“What are you fucking gay?”
“I don’t know why God won’t grant me the sweet release of death.”
“I have crippling depression.”
“Miss me with that gay shit.”
“🎶Shut the fuck up, you’re a fucking cunt🎶”
“That was fucking delicious, eggs on toast.”
“ThAt’S eDgY aS FUCK”
“No amount of guns or xanax can free me from the crippling loneliness.”
“🎶Please, please, kill yourself🎶”
“Slimy leech cunt.”
“I want to die.”
“ITS TIME TO STOP.”
“I have osteoporosis.”
“Heeeey that’s pretty good.”
“Gibe da pusi b0ss.”
“Aw hell yeah.”
So safe to say April Fools is a very intense thing in the Filth household and each of the boys has their own specialties.
Pink Guy will cook food and leave it around the house for the others to find. The food is laced with laxatives and Pink Guy makes sure it’s the only food in the house every year
Safari Man leaves hot dogs in a the strangest places. He could be on a trip and not have been home in weeks but every year without fail, Hotto Dogus. Frank once coughed a hot dog he didn’t remember eating.
Salamander Man records himself screaming nyess and plays it throughout the day. Then he jumps out and smacks whoever’s closest. The trick is that he doesn’t always smack them when the nyess plays. It’s completely random.
Lemon is newer ot the prank traditions and somehow always falls for the ‘here drink this, it’s good’ prank where it turns out they gave him lemonade to drink. He doesn’t have a signature prank so much as he just flings lemons at people.
Frank, ah Frank. Every year it’s different. Once he convinced them all he was dead. Another he made them think he was getting married to a mushroom. There was the year they all got very drunk and did some very inappropriate things with each other and no one talks about that. Lemon once walked in on him fake summoning Chin Chin and well, Chin Chin actually appeared so yeah, that happened.
Fake Frank doesn’t understand the point if every day of their lives is a joke. He also flooded the apartment but that wasn’t a prank, it was a mistake.
Accidental Sexts & How To Know Your Friends Are Keepers (2015)
It took him exactly two seconds after hitting the send button to realise he made a terrible mistake.“Fuck!” He hissed, staring at the screen which happily informed him his message had been delivered. “Fuck fuck shit fuck triple fuck on a rock.”
Regulus chose that moment to pipe up in the doorway. “If I tell mum you’re swearing she’ll take away your laptop again.”
Sirius growled, and grabbed the nearest object - an introduction to university science - and hurled it at Regulus’ head. His brother ducked away just in time, the heavy volume smacking into the wall instead.
“Hey! Now I’m definitely telling!”
“If I strangle you before you’re out of this room she’ll never know.” Sirius pointedly looked at Regulus’ loose hanging tie. Regulus’ eyes widened, and he all but ran down the stairs, probably to go complain to the house keeper.
Sirius rolled his eyes, and flopped back on the bed, lifting his phone and giving the screen a morose look. “Of all people, I sent it to James. Of fucking course.”