This is a call out post for @alexanderhamllton, who sent me a video from the single hottest day of Lin’s life and then sent me a SCREENSHOT of the video when I told her it would probably end my life if I watched it.
i apologize to bwiseoks for screencapping their gif (so pls if u can reblog that gifset because wow what a good) but i tried to screencap the video on both phone and computer and couldn’t catch this exact moment no matter what i tried, but this is hands down the single hottest taejin exchange of all time to me.
the way tae’s face is buried in jin’s hair, and the expression he’s wearing, and the way he’s hanging all over him, and the way that he catches jin’s wrist without even looking.
When we were kids and she fell, scraping her knee, she would just giggle.
“I’mma get a band-aid, a pink one!” she said.
When her first long-term boyfriend dumped her, she laughed and offered me her arm as we made our way home.
“Guess this means we’re the hottest single chicks in school again.” she whispered gleefully into my ear, making me laugh, too.
When she had to go to the doctor for additional check-ups, she was excited.
“Maybe I have something totally unknown and they’ll name it after me, how cool would that be?”
The leukemia was hard on her, but she never complained, even though she was in pain. Sometimes I would cry upon seeing her all wired up, but she would always crack a joke to make me feel better.
Even at the very end, when we could do nothing but cry, she still managed a small smile, stroking my cheek with her weak hand.
“Don’t worry,” she said softly, “we will meet in heaven. I know it.”
I’m not a particular religious person, but my sister made me believe in heaven.
Which is making this so much harder.
You see, I’ve begun hearing my sister at night. She’s sobbing, quietly at first. And then, she lets out this lengthy, heart-wrenching wail. A sound of that kind someone might make falling off a cliff or being dragged into the woods by some horror. Devoid of all hope.
I want to believe in heaven, I really do.
But if heaven is real… somehow, my sister didn’t make it.