NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM (A.K.A. Matt Lewis)
While waiting in line for the midnight premiere of HP7P2 many in our group (straight girls and gay boys alike) were discussing Neville’s recent outings on the red carpet. My friend asked, “Wait, what happened to Neville?”. In unison, we all yelled “He got hot!!"
And really, that was just the final piece of the puzzle. Who doesn’t love Neville? He’s always there to help Harry et al, is an absolute sweetie, and charming in that innocent sort of way.
Killed Voldemort’s snake/actually kills Voldey: +1000
Got his teeth fixed: +1000
Looks like a young Clive Owen: +35
Has that delicious british accent: +28
Final Tally: 2063. Earning him the distinction of WILF (Wizard I’d Like to Fuck).
[Note: Yes, the numbers are a bit inflated but killing Voldemort is really fucking important. And him getting his teeth fixed was just as important to his hotness as him killing Voldemort was to the world.]