A/N: This is a thing that’s been floating around my head for a while. The reader and Emily take pole dancing classes together and the team doesn’t know. Emily is good, but the reader is skilled af. A case comes up where they need someone to go undercover at a strip club and Emily lets it slip that the reader is great. The reader is not thrilled with this arrangement. The song is Oops, Oh My by Tweet. @coveofmemories@sexualemobitch@jamiemelyn@unstoppableangel8@iammostdefinitelyonfire26@hogwarts-konoha
“While we’re waiting for Y/N, the Organized Crime Unit has asked if we have anyone that might be able to go undercover,” Hotch said as everyone gathered in the room.
JJ sat down at the table next to Emily, waiting for Y/N to bring back the coffees that she’d offered to go pick up for everyone. “What kind of undercover work? Long term? One-time?” JJ asked.
Hotch looked out of the room to see if Y/N had made it back yet. She hadn’t so he decided to continue. “Preferably, they are looking for a female agent who can pose as a stripper at a club that Antonio D’Amica tends to frequent. They need him there and with evidence that he is conducting a ‘meeting’ so he can take him in for questioning, but none of Agent Bracco’s people can get anywhere near him because they’ve been trying to get him off the streets for years. D’Amica knows all of Bracco’s people. He figured he’d ask the BAU, because who better to send in other than one of their own, than someone who studies behavior.”
“I can’t pole dance,” JJ said, waving her hands in front of her face with increasing speed as Hotch looked between her and Emily. “No way. Ask Emily, she and Y/N take pole dancing classes for fun.”
Emily’s head snapped toward her friend. “Jennifer. Jareau. I am going to kill you.” She looked back at the rest of the team. “I’m okay at it, but I’m not great, and I don’t think D’Amica is going to be looking for a 40-year-old stripper. Y/N however is young, equally as beautiful as myself and really amazing on the pole.”
Spencer blushed at Emily’s words. Morgan just smirked. Neither of the younger male agents would admit to having some less-than-innocent thoughts about their newest female co-worker, and their female co-workers in general.
“Well, then I’ll see if she’ll go undercover for Bracco,” Hotch said. Just then, Y/N walked into the room.
“See if who will go undercover for Bracco?” you asked as you walked into the room, coffees teetering on top of each other.
Emily and JJ immediately looked away considering they’d thrown you under the proverbial bus. Only then did Hotch realize you might take a little convincing. “Agent Bracco needs someone to go undercover once, maybe twice in order to get enough probable cause to bring Antonio D’Amica in for questioning. Brace believes the best bet is to have a female agent go undercover as a dancer at one of the clubs he frequents.”
The only reason that Emily and JJ would be looking away is if ‘dancing’ meant stripping and they were the ones that let the entire fucking team know what you liked to indulge in during your spare time. “You mean dancing as in stripping? You want me to go undercover as a stripper? You do realize that’s an oxymoron? Is there anyone else who can do it?”
Hotch and Rossi shook their heads at the same time. “Bracco can’t get any of his people near D’Amica because-”
“Because they can all be recognized. And they need this?” Again, your boss nodded his head. “Fine,” you said through gritted teeth. “Why not Emily? She takes the classes too!” Angrily, you snapped your head in Emily’s direction. “Thanks for throwing me under the bus! The fact that I enjoy taking strip classes in my spare time is not something I really wanted to parade around the Bureau!”
“It wasn’t me! JJ said it!”
JJ’s mouth dropped open and she started stammering about how she didn’t mean for it to come out. “I’m sorry,” she said with a strained, half smile.
You wiped the anger from your face and turned back toward Hotch, trying to remain professional. “Tell Bracco I’ll do it, but if his team can’t be there as backup then that means you all have to, yes?” The idea of your co-workers seeing you strip was humiliating. D’Amica better be going down for the rest of his goddamn life if you were doing this.
Rossi nodded. “Yes, we would.”
“Tomorrow night,” Hotch said, handing you the number to the club. “You’ll be wearing a device in your inner ear that can’t be seen and the club owner is already aware of the situation, so just give him a call and…”
“And tell him what song I’m going to use,” you said with your eyes closed. This was so humiliating. This was meant to be something you had for yourself and now all of your co-workers were going to see it up close and personal. “I’m warning you all right now,” you started angrily, not caring that you was speaking to agents who were all seniors to you, “if I hear any remarks about anything in regards to this at all, I will kill you slowly and painfully. Are we clear?”
No one wanted to bring on your wrath and quickly agreed.
The next night, you got ready in the back while the rest of the team was situated outside. You were making idle chat with the other dancers backstage when you heard Spencer in your ear. “I believe D’Amica is here with a couple of associates. He’s toward the front, but none of us can be sure it’s him from the angles we’re in.”
Because you were talking with the girls, you slipped in a couple of words that could’ve been passed as an answer to Spencer and the rest of the team. Doing this in the comfort of a class had been one thing; you were comfortable and it was only you and a bunch of other women, but doing this in front of people you didn’t know and weren’t sleeping with was something else entirely. The bile was churning in the pit of your stomach. You were going to have to channel an amazing amount of confidence for this dance because otherwise you’d look out of place. This club in particular was known for having skilled, high-end dancers. You were in so over her head and you were seriously pissed off.
After a couple of other girls took their first turns on stage, you heard the announcer say your stage name, which you’d come up with by combining your favorite animal with the street you grew up on - Kitty Washington. “Please welcome, Miss Kitty Washington to the stage!”
With a deep breath, you changed your demeanor, putting on your best bedroom eyes as you walked out onto the stage in your already skimpy outfit that was about to get even more skimpy. You were wearing black suede boots, a pleated black skirt and a tight red tank top. Some of the girls went full on stripping, others did not; you were definitely in the not area. You’d be going down to the bra and panties and no further, especially not with your teammates and friends nearby. No fucking way.
For your song, you’d picked Oops, Oh My by Tweet - a song you’d heard as a kid that your mother never knew you listened to…which was probably a good thing.
I’ll tell ya what I did last night I came home, say around a quarter to three Still so high, hypnotized In a trance, from his body So buttery brown and tantalizing You would have thought I needed help With the feeling that I felt So shook I had to catch my breath
Leaning gently up against the pole, you began to sway your hips back and forth, slowly but surely gliding down the pole until you were crouched down and could coyly open your legs. As you came back up, you rolled your hips around, spinning so you could get a decent look of the area. To your right were D’Amica and his friends. He was less than appealing, but you started giving him eyes. If you could get him to bring out some money, you could give him a little dance and get closer to him, maybe here something that would clinch the case for Agent Bracco.
Once you settled on a battle plan, you gathered your feet at the bottom of the pole and started walking around it, allowing your hand to glide over the cool metal. Hooking your legs around, you floated around a few times before making eyes at D’Amica again and slowly lifting your shirt above your head, throwing it backward onto the stage.
Oops! There goes my shirt up over my head, oh my Oops! There goes my skirt droppin’ to my feet, oh my Oh! Some kind of touch caressing my legs, oh my Oh! I’m turnin’ red who could this be
D’Amica gave you the crook of his finger and beckoned you over; it was almost too easy. Gracefully, you got down off the stage, teasing him by giving him a peek of the panties you were wearing. This was empowering in a way, but you’d much rather be doing this for a boyfriend or girlfriend. When you approached him, you turned around and place your hands on his knees, once again swaying your hips and luring him into a trance.
As you suspected, one of his cohorts mentioned something about a problem being “taken care of.” You kept him distracted by hooking your thumbs into your skirt and pushing it down your legs, deftly kicking it back onto the stage.
“Don’t worry, man. No trail. It’s taken care of.” Without even thinking, he pulled out a $100 bill and stuffed into the black string holding the thin red material that covered you.
With a wink, you made your way back up onto the stage, money of varying denominations guiding your path until you finished out the song with some of the more difficult moves you’d learned in class, including a dance called olympic style - a apt name considering the strength it required. It called for you to use nearly every muscle in your body to lift it, using your arms, flip so that you were upside down and then move your legs outward and then toward the pole, all while spinning.
Oops! There goes my shirt up over my head, oh my Oops! There goes my skirt droppin’ to my feet, oh my Oh! Some kind of touch caressing my legs, oh my Oh! I’m turnin’ red who could this be
You ended by clenching your legs around the pole and hanging upside down, which brought a round of hoots and hollers your way. Picking up your clothes, you passed by D’Amica one more time and gave him a final wink before heading backstage again. Thirty minutes later, after collecting the money you’d earned during that dance, which you intended to keep, you met your team back at the office, which was 30 minutes from the club you’d danced in. “Not a word,” you muttered the second you walked into the conference room. “Did Bracco get what he needed?” Hotch nodded, and you heaved a sigh of relief. At least it wasn’t all for nothing. “You all owe me. Dinner and drinks? Right now? I drink as much as I want and you pay?”
“Sounds good to me,” Hotch chuckled. Emily and JJ just looked impressed. Hotch and Rossi kept blank faces. And Morgan looked flabbergasted, while Spencer looked like he wanted to drool. That was actually kind of funny.
“With all that money you earned shouldn’t you be treating us?” he asked jokingly.
You raised your eyebrows at him, pulling out the money you’d earned. It was definitely a high-end club. “How much did you make?” Emily asked in awe.
“$820 dollars,” you laughed. That’s what happened when you went to high-end clubs in DC apparently. You came across crime bosses, and politicians and other government officials with too much money. “If this whole thing doesn’t work out for me, I think I’ve found my calling, and as for dinner, fuck that. If I had to do that while everyone else watched when these classes were supposed to be our little secret,” you said, pointing between you and Emily, “I’m investing in a pair of Louboutins that I’ve wanted forever. You bitches owe me.”
As you walked out of the room to head to the elevator, Spencer continued to eye you in awe, whispering to Morgan. “What the hell are Louboutins?
Okay I just wanna know how Garcia knows how to spell every name the team tells her to search ??! Like I can barley spell my own name some days ??! And she just knows how to spell any given name handed to her ?!!! Names have so many different spellings and she ??! always guesses the right spelling?!! I wi..sh.,.
you walk in to see him cheating on you, crying your eyes out he finally notices and jumps up "Y.N! it isn't what it looks like!" you cry more as the blonde skanky skanky bitch smirks at you "it's exactly what it looks it looks like" you run out of the house and jump into your car, hightailing it out of there, you never got to tell him you're pregnant with twins, his twins, and now you'll never get to tell him, you won't allow him to be in their lives, a couple days later he shows up at your house and before you can slam the door he walks into the house "get out" you angrily cry "Y.N! listen to me it wasn't me, i was being possessed by a demon and had no control over anything i love you" smiling "aww" you squeal you jump into his arms kissing him "i have to tell you something" you look him into the eyes as he speaks "i only have two days to live" you sob falling onto the floor-
Reid x reader:
Imagine the reader being younger than Reid.
Warnings: big age difference, fluff/smut???, talking about cases
The team notices right away that something was on Spencer’s mind. It had been for the past couple months. It starts becoming obvious when boy genius himself starts messing up his facts.
“What’s up with you, pretty boy? Who’s got your panties in a knot?” Morgan asked him on the way out of the office.
The two were tired from a long day at Quantico and ready to be home.
“Knot? What makes you think anyone’s been doing anything with my panties? Did someone say something?” The doctor stuttered.
“Wow there. No I can just tell you have been distracted. Is there something you want to tell me?” Derek raises his eyebrows, stopping at his car.
Reid thinks what the best idea would be. He trusted Morgan but he also looked up to him and wondered what he would think.
“I met someone.” Reid’s mouth speaks before his brain has a chance to catch up.
Morgan can’t say he was surprised, he heard something from JJ but they were all just assumptions.
“A little lady caught the eye of Spencer Reid? Now how does one do that?” Derek smirks.
Reid has a silly grin on his face, he shrugs and looks down at the ground.
“She is- she’s pretty amazing.” He brags.
It was a relief to finally get it off his chest. For the past 3 months he’s been having to keep it a secret. He wouldn’t usually be hanging around people like you. Not unless he was on the job.
Not that there is anything wrong with you. Like he said you are amazing; smart, funny, beautiful. Everything he wanted in a girl.
You were pretty much his dream girl, except you are real.
“So when do I get to meet her?” Morgan wonders.
A question Spencer couldn’t answer. Both of your schedules were pretty full. You and Spencer had talked about meeting your friends next weekend at Rossi’s.
“Soon hopefully.” Spencer said before both him and his coworker made their way home.
When you heard the door start to unlock, you put your book down.
You greet the boy at the door.
You throw your arms around his neck before he has a chance to put anything down. He hugs you back.
“Did you get settled in?” He asks, closing the door with his foot.
You nod, you got into town this morning, Spencer was already at work so you have been at his house all alone. You two planned spending the spring holiday together. A whole week and a half of just you and your boyfriend.
You two untangle from each other and he puts his bag on the hook by the door. You loved Spencer’s house, it was what you wanted yours to look like. Books everywhere, almost OCD clean.
A love of books is what drew you and Spencer together so quickly.
“I think I need to shower.” Spencer announces, taking his coat off and hanging it will his bag.
“I think I’ll join you.” You smile and follow after him to the bathroom.
Spencer and you had been enjoying your time here. Times where he was at work, which seemed to be a lot, you found something to do.
You were never really bored, Spencer had an abundance of books and the city was interesting to explore.
You two were laying in bed, you were nearly asleep when his phone started ringing.
“Hello?” He answers, you knew he was asleep because he sounded half asleep. “Okay.” He says before hanging up.
“Who was that?” You ask curiously.
He starts getting up from bed, wearing only his robe.
“We have a case. They need me.” He gets into his dresser.
You frown, “It’s nearly two in the morning.” You whine.
He walks over to you leaning over you. “It’s all part of the job.” He kisses your lips and starts to get dressed.
You begin to doze off, the last thing you remember is Spencer covering you with a blanket and kissing your forehead.
When you open your eyes, the sun is flooding through the window, it’s just past noon.
You sit up, the house still empty. You check your phone and there is a message from Spencer. He says they had to go to New York for a case but shouldn’t be long.
You groan, you had homework to do but you wanted Spencer. You laid in bed for another hour before actually getting up. You made coffee and started right up on your homework.
You only stopped twice, to make something to eat and when Spencer called.
“I’m sorry, this really isn’t what I wanted to happen.” He apologizes over the phone.
“It’s okay, it’s your job. People need your brains.” You smile.
You can hear his laugh over the phone. You missed him, you were happy to be at his house than in your town. At least when he comes back you will be here.
“You doing okay-” Spencer starts.
“Who’s that?” You hear a voice on the other end of the line.
“I- I gotta go.” Spencer rushes.
You exchange goodbyes and hang up the phone. You knew Spencer hadn’t told his team about you. It was obvious why, you couldn’t help but feel he was embarrassed of you but you knew better than that.
You knew Spencer’s feelings for you were real, he cared so much about you and never missed a chance to show you.
Spencer had been talking to you about going to meet some of his friends tomorrow. They are meeting up at a coworkers house and he wanted you to meet them.
You couldn’t help but be nervous. He spoke so highly about his friends, you wondered what they would think.
The rest of the night you read and watched tv on your phone. Spencer of course did not have a tv which you found ridiculous. He was not that into electronics but everyone needs a tv.
You tried to stay up as late as you could, not knowing when Spencer would be home. When you found yourself falling asleep while reading a book, you knew it was time to call it a night.
It was almost 3am and you could barely keep your eyes open. You changed into one of Spencer’s shirts, surprisingly you hadn’t really worn one before. Spencer wasn’t the type of boyfriend who just gave away his shirts.
He doesn’t gets how sexy it is.
With that, you cuddled up in his bed by yourself and drifted to sleep. The next morning you woke up again around noon. You lifted your head up in bed to catch sight of the sleeping boy next to you.
A smile spread across your face, his hair is sprawled out across the pillow.
You roll closer to him and kiss his bare shoulder. You rub his back as he starts stirring. He rolls to face you and you automatically gasp.
“Spencer.” You say.
“Don’t worry, it’s not as bad as it looks.” He scrunched up his beaten face.
You cup his face, “This is the thing I don’t like about your job.”
“I know.” He smiles and pulls your head down to kiss your lips.
“Come on, let’s go out to breakfast.” He suggests.
The rest of the day was amazing. You two go out to breakfast then he spends the rest of the day reading to you. Your head in his lap as he reads The Narrative of John Smith to you. You notice he barely has to look at the book but that doesn’t surprise you much.
You two start getting ready to go to Reid coworkers house.
“Are you sure you want me to come?” You look at him through the mirror of the bathroom while drying your hair, a towel wrapped around your body.
“Yes, you are an important person in my life. I want you to meet the other important people.” He comes up behind you and kisses your cheek.
Having him by your side makes you feel better about everything. When you guys load into the car, you take his hand. He smiles at you, you can tell he is nervous too.
He cares so much about his team, if they don’t approve it with crush him. When you get to the nice sized house you park out front. You both sit in the car for a couple minutes.
“I’m really excited to meet your friends, Spence. I just want you to know, if they don’t like me it won’t change anything between us.” You comfort him. You have met the team before, it was before you and Spencer had even met.
“I think they are going to love you. I think it’s just at first they will be… confused.” He says.
You two finally exit the car and make your way to the door of the modern house. Spencer knocks and plays with his fingers while waiting for it to open. When it does there is a Middle aged man on the other side of the door.
He looks at you, then to Spencer then back to you before finally greeting you.
“Well hello. You just be Y/N.” He reaches out to shake your hand. “I’m David Rossi.”
You smile and shake his hands, “I’ve heard great things about you. It’s nice to meet you.”
He invited us in and there are multiple other people standing around the kitchen island.
All eyes go over to you guys and you can see the shock on everyone’s face. You wait for someone to say something and luckily Rossi finally does.
“This is Y/N, everyone.” He introduces you. He tells you everyone else’s name.
You smile at everyone and you and Spencer slowly start to merge with the group.
“Hi, it’s nice to meet you.” Prentiss says.
She seems very nice, you already had heard so much about the team, you felt like you knew them.
“Weren’t you at the college campus we were at?” She asks.
You were surprised she remembered. They came to your college and did a presentation about what they do in the BAU. It’s actually where Spencer and you met.
“Ah! That’s where I recognized you from! You were the girl who knew everything about everything.” JJ jumps in.
You’re honored that’s what they remember about you. It’s not that you knew everything about everything, it’s just no one in your class know much about anything. So when they asked questions you were the only one who really answered.
“Well it’s good to see you again.” Prentiss says.
You nod, this is going a lot better than You’d thought.
“So how did you and Spencer get together?” They asks.
You are a bit embarrassed, it makes you feel even younger to explain how you started seeing each other.
“Well after the lecture I actually came up and asked him a couple follow up questions.” You had already thought he was attractive from the beginning of the lecture. “He answered most of them but gave me his card in case I had anymore questions. So I called him the next weekend.”
Now it’s been a couple months. Time is really flying by.
Spencer walks up beside you, you smile at him. You think he just wants make sure you are all getting along. You actually really like Prentiss and JJ.
“Can I get you guys any wine?” Rossi offers Spencer and You. That’s when You notice almost all the rest of the team has a glass of wine.
You look up at Spencer awkwardly and he scratches his head.
“She can’t uh-” He starts.
“I won’t be 21 for a couple more months.” You finish.
The team is all the sudden quiet, all the conversations that seemed to be had suddenly stopped.
Reid is quite a bit older than you He celebrated his 32nd birthday this last fall.
“So your 20?” Garcia clears up. Her and Morgan are standing together. You so would think they were together but from what You heard from Spencer that’s just how their relationship is.
You nod and everyone stays silent.
“Well I guess Reid isn’t the baby if the group anymore.” Derek finally days.
You don’t know whether to laugh or be insulted. You take a step closer to Spencer. His hand finds yours.
“ I mean we all were joking you would be perfect for him during the lecture.” Rossi says.
“Yeah, you sounded so much like him it was kind of scary. Having one Reid around is intimidating enough.” Hotch smiles.
You think Spencer was right. It was a little awkward at first but after they get to know you, your age difference won’t even be a thought in their mind.
You look up at Spencer and smile at him. He smiles at you and kisses your forehead.
Next you just have to worry about telling your parents.