I have been told that there were no dancing hot dogs in the early 20th century. The evidence, however, suggests otherwise.

Robert Bracklow. View of the Brooklyn Bridge from an unidentified ferry, New York City. April 27, 1902. glass negative. New-York Historical Society.

No, I don't come with the car/boat/hot tub.

I sometimes work as a model at various car shows, boat shows, hot tub shows, or other events where a model or similar eye candy was needed/wanted. I don’t mind the guys flirting with me, I know to expect it considering the outfits I’m required to wear for these jobs…but it gets annoying when they keep asking the SAME joke over and over “Do YOU come with the car/boat/hot tub/jet ski/etc.?” I really hate it when they actually reach out and try to touch me, or slip me their business cards (which I throw in the trash right in front of them). I’m in a reltionship. Fortunately I can call security if they get out of hand like that, though I only hail security if these creeps try to touch me or one of the other ladies.

If they want to take photos, that’s fine, but DO NOT try to climb over the velvet ropes or onto the platform (especially when the signs say to “Keep Off The Platform” and try to put your arm around me to pose while your friend takes the picture. You can stand in front of me, and we can fit in the frame of the photo your friend takes if he steps back a bit. Not that hard. The velvet ropes and “keep off the platform” policies are there for your safety. We’re not responsible if you fall and get hurt just because you wanted to pose too close for comfort with one of the ladies.

It isn’t cute or flirty when you say you want to drive home with that car and me tied up, gagged, and locked in the trunk of that car. That’s really creepy. It’s also messed up when you say that you want to tie me to the bow of that boat, like a the figurehead on a sailing ship. And don’t ask to climb in that hot tub with me the signs clearly say that you may not. And no, we are not allowed to pose sitting in tandem on the jet ski or on the motorcycle for photos, customers aren’t allowed on the vehicles at all, and most of the time neither are the models.

These conventions and expos are not a place to pick up dates.

Humans are fearless travelers

I just have this sneaking suspicion that aliens would not necessarily want to let humans pilot *anything*.

Like, we’re already pretty fearless with how we travel - planes, trains, automobiles, boats, hot air balloons. Most of us will figure out how to get to our destinations, traffic and weather be damned. If there’s a way for us to get somewhere, we’ll do it, even if it means we freaking walk there.

It takes ages before aliens trust us to pilot anything because, while we may be cautious when it comes to working with crazy weather plans, we always find a way to get to where we need to go. Yeah, some of us can be reckless and fearless, we have such a will.

Imagine, if you will, a mission crew is stuck on a planet due to foul weather and they can’t get their shuttle up to meet up with their expedition ship. The (alien) mission leader is worried that they won’t make it through the storm. But then a human slides into the shuttle’s pilot seat and starts firing up the engines with absolute confidence.

Mission Leader: Human-Amaya, what do you think you’re doing?

Amaya: Getting us out of here, boss.

ML: It’s too dangerous out there! We won’t be able to get through or around this storm.

Amaya: *grinning* It’s no worse than any Cat-2 hurricane back home. I’ve flown through worse conditions before.

ML: What?

Amaya: Hey, Jax, tell them about that time we flew a helicopter over a mountain while I get us ready to blast off.

ML: Human-Jax, please tell me that was a Human Tall Tale.

Jax: Nope. We were trying to avoid a blizzard and there was no other way to do it than go over a mountain. Okay, it was a pretty small mountain, but we did it, Things got a bit dicy on the way down, but we survived.

ML: I don’t want to know any more.

Amaya: Okay kids, strap in. It’s time to blow this Popsicle stand.

Jax: YEAH!

Christine Vinson

Christine Vinson is one of the busiest glamour model. Growing up in southern California, she began modeling at the age of 14 and hasn’t ever stopped. She has appeared in such varied magazines as Playboy, American Curves, Hot Boat and Flex Magazine. She was featured on the acclaimed A&E network special marking the 50th anniversary of Playboy magazine.

Birthdate: 17-Apr
Birthplace: California
Current Address: Sacramento, CA
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 120 lbs
Bust: 34D
Waist: 25
Hips: 35
Hair Color: Blonde
Eye Color: Blue

  • Barty: Guys, I was making out with this hot Ravenclaw in the boat house. And... the worst thing that could happen to a guy happened.
  • Regulus: Ohhhh. Filch came in to wash the floors?
  • Barty: No.
  • Rodolphus: Reg, I think what Barty meant to say was... the rabbit wouldn't come out of his hat.
  • Rabastan: The weasel wouldn't pop out.
  • Barty: OK, ENOUGH.
  • Lucius: Oh, wait. There's a lot of Amish people, but they never raised a barn.
  • Evan: That's a good one, Malfoy.
  • Lucius: I know, it just came to me.
  • Reg: Oh, I get it. The barn is Barty's pants.
  • Barty: This can't be happening to me.
  • Regulus: Oh, don't worry Barty. I'm really sorry... SORRY YOU'RE NOT A MAN.
The Diaboys and Yui as things my friends an I have said
  • Shu, staring at nothing: I'm always a slut for freckles
  • Reiji: They are sad little sausage waddlers
  • Kanato: *makes unintelligible screeching sound*
  • Ayato: I don't read fanfiction anymore, I've turned into an illiterate ass memer
  • Laito: knee high boots are my KINK
  • Subaru: Satan has taken over the Christian
  • Ruki: Hot piece of sex boat
  • Kou, singing horribly: Mullet Maaaannnn, take me by the hannd!
  • Shin: We're not into butt stuff here
  • Carla: Kill the communists.
  • Yui: I don't need to see, Jesus is my eyes. All I care about is a breathing hole.

anonymous asked:

What would the S&M brothers prefer doing with their S/O, swimming at the beach, a boat ride on a lake or relaxing in a hot springs?

Swimming at the beach: Ayato (he’d love to see you in a swimsuit~ Plus he doesn’t like too hot temperatures or boat rides all that much. He’d much rather go swimming with you), Kou (He loves the beach, it’s one of his favorite places. He mostly likes to show off or show you off. If it comes down to it he’ll rent out the whole beach so you can get some alone time without the paparazzi there), Subaru (He’s had some pretty traumatizing incidents in hot springs with Laito, so that’s a no, and he finds boat rides boring.)

Boat ride on a lake: Kanato, (he hates swimming, but he likes the sound of water a lot, it’s calming. He’d much rather take a boat ride with you than swim or go into a hot spring.) Shu (A boat ride would mean he gets to lie down with you and relax. Swimming equals exercise and he’s not having it), Reiji and Ruki (both are fans of boat rides. It’s generally quiet and peaceful with plenty of time to relax and enjoy the scenery with you. They’d bring a good book to read with you~)

Relaxing in a hot spring: Laito (He’d sneak into the women’s side of the water and have some fun with you~ ), Azusa (The hot water calms him, he loves the subtle burning when you first get into the water. He’d stay there all night, just relaxing and holding you), Yuma (after a hard day he’d love taking a long, hot bath, but a hot spring with his beautiful and naked s/o would be even better~)

The Mighty Rio Grande (Dunkirk Cast x Reader)

AN: Inspiration for this came from this interview were Tom Glynn-Carney and Jack Lowden talk about how they got really hot on the boat and just jumped into the sea. This is set with the boys in the Mole. @outofworkactress wrote one for all of the lads at the Moonstone which you should defo read here

I also wrote this with inspiration from when I was walking along this beach (of extreme sentimental value to yours truly and in the photo down below) at 5am whilst listening to this song. Let me tell you, it is one of the best and happiest memories I have: running towards the sea at the 3 minute mark in the song with no one else on the beach and then watching the sun come up at the 5 minute mark whilst standing in the surf with a gentle breeze on your face. Cheesy as fuck yes but this will probably be the basis of another imagine because it makes me so damn happy.

Summary:  It’s too damn hot to be in your clothes. Lucky for you, the sea is just a hop, skip and a race away.


Keep reading

Imagine: Being secluded with him in a little boat, far away from the land.

The sun was disappearing slowly behind the mountains and was bringing the darkness with its fall. It was a beautiful scenery; all those nuances of colors in the sky, and Ratonhnhaké:ton in a formal outfit (Not too formal though, light brown corduroy pants with a cream neatly-ironed shirt, sleeves folded up ‘till his elbows.) preaparing a little boat for a nice trip on the water… For the two of you. You were settled on a rock, watching him carefully. He was placing everything attentively; first, he laid a table cover to the ground, then he put some comfortable pillows here and there, then he placed the picnic basket. Then he stood up, reached his hand ot to you, and made a “Let’s go.” gesture. You seated yourself towards him, who was rowing the boat. The land was getting smaller and smaller in each push. You two then started talking about random things, there were whole bunch of things you wanted to say.
After a while, the land had disappeared completely and the stars were shining bright. He then made a slow move, and lied down next to you. You were still speaking, and he was listening. Then he started caressing your hair. You stopped talking. Now it was just the two of you, with the giant silence, and the stars. His eyes were beautiful, because there was always a meaning to them. You then proceeded caressing his scar on his cheek, the one you adored, and he put his hand on yours. His hands were really warm, protecting you from the chilly winds of the sea. He smelled amazing; whenever there was a special occasion, he used that lavender cologne he had. You smiled, and so did he. He leaned into your ear and whispered “I desire you Y/N. And I intend to make you feel it.”