hot like the sunrise

compilation of Rhonda’s “AAMI car insurance safe-driver rewards” ads

to my non-australian followers who haven’t experienced the phenomenon that is Rhonda and Ketut, these ads aired periodically and became a national hype (even resulting in a website where you could vote for who was Rhonda’s match) so I seriously recommend watching it, it truly is one of the greatest australian love stories

GROWING UP AUSTRALIAN

-you were pretty much raised on Vegemite

-it was perfectly normal for kindy kids to sing “OPEN WIDE, COME INSIDE, ITS PLAYSCHOOL”

-giant bananas chasing bears was normal television

-meeting the wiggles was your literal dream

-there was always more Milo in yer drink than milk

-the most stressful thing in your life in kindy was what window it was gonna be….. DIAMOND, SQUARE, ARCHED OR ROUND??

-NOT, HAPPY, JAN!!!!!!!!

- YOU SO HOT TODAY, RONDA! LIKE SUNRISE!

-AUTHORISEDBYTHEAUSTRALIANGOVERNMENTCANBERRA

- the beep test was literal hell

- NAPLAN was a horrible, useless waste of time

-sprinkles on buttered bread is a national delicacy

-after a Saturday of sport, a Bunnings sausage sizzle was the way to go

- FRUIT SALAD!! YUMMY YUMMY!!

-HAVE YOU EVER, EVER FELT LIKE THIS….

- ~I like aeroplane jelly, aeroplane jelly for me!~

- WUN THREE DOUBLE-OH SIX TRIPLE FIIIIVE, O SIX

Typical Aussie Experiences

* not checking the mailbox for a few days, so as not to disturb the huntsman camping out there.
* midnight Maccas run.
* more than one jar of Vegemite in the cupboard because even though none of them are empty, there’s always a chance of running out and that’s unacceptable.
* goon of fortune.
* being way too defensive over the ‘shrimp on the barbie’ thing because 'we don’t SAY that!’
* all of your friends named Rhonda are instantly hot like a sunrise
* any friends not named Rhonda are also sometimes hot like a sunrise.
* listening to at least one of your bogan rellies/friends argue out the Holden or Ford dynamics cause 'it’s Bathurst weekend, mate!’
* Having to explain to an international friend that the footy is not soccer, nor rugby, nor gridiron, but something kind of in between.
* Melben, Brisben, Canbra, straya.
* chucking a u'ey cause TomTom’s had one too many.
* handing your foreign friends protective gear to save them from drop bears.
* Duncan’s ya mate, but Dan Murphy is borderline family.
* When neither are around, you go looking for a thirsty camel.
* spending your time bitching out other capital cities cause yours is superior, and then vacationing there anyway.
* trying to make it a week without seeing Eddie Maguire’s face on something.

Persona as old Australian ads

Akira: “it’s a big ad” Carlton Draught

Haru: “don’t chop the dinosaur daddy!”

Futaba: “banana boat”

Ryuji: “I just want milk that tastes like real milk” “this tastes like full cream milk. And only 2% fat”

Ann: “looking hot today Rhonda like a sunrise”

Yusuke: the Cadbury eyebrows ad

Makoto: “why did they build the Great Wall of china?” “To keep the rabbits out”

Morgana: “more safe. More smart. Mortein”

Goro: “You made the right choice.”

7

Week 6. Night

This week was my night shoot. I like shooting better at night or low light, but I don’t have my own mono/tripod so a lot of pictures come out of focus or blurred because of my shutter speed. I was happy with some of these though. I didn’t get to use a lot of street wear pieces like usual, but I did sneak in a few.
You might be confused on why I have this mask or what the point of it is, but it’s just an aesthetic I like. I like the hidden face and I like the feeling of being behind a mask. We all wear our own masks everyday and hide our demons behind them, so why not wear an actual mask to hide them.

“I’m hot, coming up like the sunrise
But I feel most alive, in the moonlight

- Last Fall// GothBoiClique (LiL PeeP// Lil Tracy// Horsehead)

funnybone800  asked:

holky shit i'm DYING in my chair rn u r kiklling me

their names are rhonda and katut. as soon as katut saw rhonda he was in love. he brought her a special drink just for her. he then began winding up her umbrella to shield her delicate skin from the sun.. ‘you look so hot today rhonda,’ he said, gazing into her eyes. ‘like a sunrise’





aami’s safe driver rewards offer up t

The Australian fairytale

Once apon a time there was a safe driver called Rhonda who was enjoying her safe driving rewards when a young man named Ketut gave her a drink,
“You look so hot today, like a sunrise” Ketut said.
“Thank you Ketut”
Then they drove off together enjoying the safe driving rewards together forever.

Reflections

Description: Dan lives alongside the mirrors, a portal to the parallel world that houses his soul mate Phil. They’ve known each other for 11 years and couldn’t be happier. The only way to cross over is to make ‘The Choice.’ A time when you give up your whole world in the your home universe for your soul mate. Only Dan is too afraid to leave his family behind. Until certain circumstances hit and Dan must make his choice or lose Phil forever. 

Tags: Original Universe; Fluff; Long; Soulmate AU

A/N: Wow that descriptions longer than I thought. Original fantasy/sci fi/ whatever you call it so just tag me if you use the idea. Currently looking for a beta too so message me maybe? 

-~-

“When are you getting over here?” He asks, staring down at his blankets instead of my face like he normally would.

I feel my insides get twisted into knots, swallowing when my mouth turns dry. “Someday Phil I promise. I can’t leave my family yet you know that.”

-~-

Keep reading

He reads your diary

Louis: “Give it back!” you screech, as he dashes across the room. You fold your arms across your chest and watch as he jumps onto the bed with the diary. While standing on the bed, he flips the page, scanning his eyes over the words. “dear diary”, he exclaims raising his eyebrows, “Louis is a sexy motherfucker!”.
“That is so not what it says”, you laugh, rolling your eyes, displeased. 

Liam: "No!“ you shout, half-sprinting across the room, and snatching the diary out of his hands, "Liam! why would you read that?”. You run your fingers through your hair, thinking of all the embarrassing secrets you had kept hidden in that book. He looks up at you with puppy dog eyes. “I don’t know” he shrugs, folding his arms “I read the part where you said you loved me, and I thought it was kinda sweet”.

Zayn: “Zayn" you call, while frantically searching the bookshelf, "Have you seen my diary?”. “Maybe”, he mumbles guiltily, with a soft smirk plastered on his face. Your turn to face him, with your hand outstretched. "Give it!“ you motion, as he pulls the diary out from behind him. "so apparently, you think I have nice eyes?” he grins, handing you the diary. “maybe”, you say irritated, before walking out of the room to hide it once more.

Niall: Even though he knew it was off limits, he decided to take a quick peek at your diary. He was caught off guard and failed to hide the book, when you walked into the bedroom and sat down beside him. You snatch it from his hands and scold him for being so nosy, before getting up to hide it once more. “babe”, he whispers, stopping you. He purses his lips, before letting out a small laugh, “do you really think i’m hot, like a sunrise?”. “It was a joke!” you groan, digging your face into the pillow on the bed, as he continues to laugh.

Harry: "Harry! how could you?“ you yell, storming toward him to take back your diary. Jumping to his feet and using height to his advantage, he holds it above his head, as you jump with arms outstretched, trying to retrieve it from his grasp. While admiring your effort, he lifts it a little higher before he teasingly raises an eyebrow and smirks, "who knew you were so dirty baby?”

SAYA CINTA KAMU, YOU TOO…

Fan Fiction Comedy was back during the MICF and had their best season of shows yet, with some absolutely amazing guests. Due to a hectic schedule I was only able to do the show one night. I was going to do a story called When Bruce Met Clark, a When Harry Met Sally parody starring Batman and Superman. Sadly I only had five minutes for my story, and I could have rewritten that entire movie, so instead I took a couple of hours and wrote a story about Australia’s favourite couple.

Forget William and Kate, there is only one couple whose relationship Australians have been fascinated by. I speak of Australia’s first couple: Rhonda and Ketut;

The insurance company AAMI, who have been making the documentary about their romance, recently announced that the series would be ending. Spoilers if you are not up-to-date;

People were shattered by the news, as it was the first time in history an insurance company had ever failed to deliver what they had promised;

Amy, the AAMI spokesperson, held a press conference in which she turned charmingly to the camera and explained that the reason the series was not continuing was- this is true- the “actors were too busy, and concentrating on other projects”;

Mandy McElhinney is now a Logie-nominated actress and star of the new hit series Love Child, so that makes sense;

Ketut is actually a forklift driver in real life. I am guessing he would have been fine if the ads kept going. I don’t think Ketut was like: “I just want to be able to concentrate on my forklifting!”;

Anyway, the big question everyone wants to know is, what happens to Ketut next?;

SAYA CINTA KAMU, YOU TOO…

Things had not been good for Ketut since the end of the AAMI ads;

It was the one-year AAMI-versary of the contract being cancelled, and Ketut was drunk;

He drained yet another Flaming Rhonda- the special drink he used to make for a special person- and then threw the glass against the wall shattering it into a million little pieces;

Shattered, just like he was;

“How ironic” thought Ketut, who had never fully understood irony, but English was his second language so give him a break;

Sure, AAMI might offer competitive comprehensive car insurance rates, but they couldn’t ensure against a broken heart; Or broken dreams;

Everything had been so good at the start;

He was a happy drinks waiter working the Bali beaches while dreaming of bigger things;

She was a middle-aged single women funding her sex tourism with the savings she made on her car insurance;

It was a match made in Heaven;

Ketut was no fool;

He knew what he was getting into;

He knew what she wanted;

Her cover story didn’t check out at all;

I mean she was saving 15% and she wanted us to believe that she could use that to go on overseas holiday?;

For the maths on that to work she either had 15 cars, or she was a sex tourist, and either way, Ketut was interested;

For Ketut was a man with a past of his own;

Ketut had always had an eye for the foreign ladies;

But he had been burned before;

A few years earlier he had a steamy affair with a woman called Elizabeth Gilbert which she had later turned into a worldwide best seller, and hit movie, called Eat, Pray, Love;

Ketut still thought the original title Eat, Pray, Bang Ketut was still more catchy;

And then there had been… well Ketut still felt too guilty to speak her name… they had met on the beach, bonding over their love of boogie-boarding… but when he had asked her to bring him back one from Australia…;

Every time the wind would blow through the trees he would hear her name: “Shapelle, Shapelle!”;

Back in the day he was the guy who put the bang into Bintang;

But Rhonda was different;

From the first time he had touched her achy brake foot, she had wormed her way inside his achy break heart;

Rhonda with her weird tan that made her look like the Boy Wonder had spent some time in the solarium;

He loved her, and best of all, she loved him too;

From the minute he said: “You look so hot today like a Sunrise” she was his;

(In brackets I have put: Which is weird, because sunrise is technically the coldest part of the day, so that’s not even a compliment);

And the greatest moment of his life had been when she had leaned in and whispered ““Kiss me Ketut” even though technically it was only in a dream sequence;

But for a little while, the dream had become a reality;

Rhonda and Ketut;

Everyone in Australia loved them;

Well some people checked to see how Ketut got here first, but when they learned he didn’t come by boat, they loved him;

They were Australia’s Kanye and Kim;

Although the first bad sign was when they had trouble coming up with a cool celebrity name;

Neither “Ketonda” or “Rhotut” took off;

And from there things had spiralled out of control;

Rhonda as suddenly in high demand playing Nene King in Magazine Wars, Matron Frances Bolton in Love Child, and Mandy McElhinney in real life;

For Ketut on the other hand, things had gone bad quickly;

His plans to follow the ads with a musical version of the love story of Rhonda and Ketut had never got off the ground;

Ketut was furious and was convinced it was because they hadn’t gone with his suggested title: Ketut-loose;

His version of The Footy Show, The Ketuty Show, was similarly unsuccessful;

People soon realised that Ketut didn’t have a lot of original ideas, just puns on his name they he hoped would get him across the line;

(And in brackets I have written: Doesn’t he know you will never get anywhere in showbiz just putting your name in the title of the show and thinking that means comedy);

Then there was the drugs and the sex;

Sure he was happy to tell Rhonda to keep her eyes on the road, but it was Ketut who should have been keeping his eyes on Rhonda;

He wanted Rhonda to be a safe driver, but it was Ketut who was rear-ending people;

He wanted Rhonda to be a safe driver, but it was Ketut who was burning rubber (And in brackets I have written: at least he used condoms);

Ketut and Australia had fallen in love when Rhonda had first whispered to him “you’re naughty” but he was now being naughtier than she knew;

It wasn’t Trent Toogood that had come between them, it was Little Ketut;

First he was late to Rhonda’s reunion because he had a steamy affair with the lady from the end of the AAMI ads who it turns out isn’t even called Amy;

Ketut enjoyed the sex, but thought it was weird how she never talked at all, and never seemed to age;

Then his foot fetish flared its ugly head again;

It was what had brought Rhonda and he together in the first place, but now it was what was threatening to tear them apart;

It all became too much when he was photographed in the toilets at the Logies doing coke with Adam Hill’s fake foot;

Then came the headlines:

Ketut on the Toot;

Ketut Kapoot?;

Ketut Loves Foot;

Help Me Rhonda;

The Frotty Show;

Adam Hills In Ketut Tonight;

(The last one was actually incredibly inaccurate and led to Adam Hills suing the newspaper for millions of dollars);

For Ketut his career was over;

He had committed showbiz shoeicide;

Safe driving had brought them together but now he had driven everyone he loved away;

He had been lost before he found Rhonda and now he was lost once again;

Ketut sat alone in his house, poured himself another Flaming Rhonda, he flicked on his computer and googled her name. Just one more time;

The first thing that came up was a new article. It turns out they were casting parts for Mandy McElhinney’s new show Love Child;

Ketut had an idea; Ketut knew if could just see her face one more, his Kuta Goddess, everything would be fine;

If he could just whisper “saya cinta kamu” he knew everything would be ok;

But there was no way he could get an audition, not now, not after all the headlines;

What could he do? He looked over and saw some old clothes of Rhonda’s lying on his bed. Clothes he had stolen from backstage on their last shoot that he liked to sleep beside so he could still smell her, and Ketut had another idea.

He wouldn’t get through the door, but he knew who could;

As he pulled on Rhonda’s tight dress, and tucked little Ketut out of the way, he looked at himself in the mirror and said: “You look hot Ketut… like a Sunrise!”;

And then he said: “No, not Ketut… Call me Ketutsie!”;

(And then I have written in brackets, Tootsie was a very popular film from 1982 where Dustin Hoffman is an actor who can’t get any work so dresses up like a woman to get a break and win back his love. None of you were probably born when that movie came out);

(And then in another set of brackets I have written The End);