Ultimate Supernatural Survival Guide
If you hear a strange noise don’t go “investigate” it. If it’s a major concern of yours, or you’re scared for your life, at least call the cops first. It could be a squirrel or a human, don’t always assume the worst. Don’t just ignore it, and don’t talk to it either.
Screw matches. Just don’t use them. They’ll burn out too quick, burn your fingers, and wind will blow them straight out.
Candles are also a no. Although they’ll burn longer than matches, wind can blow them right out. The only thing they’re good for is summoning and spells.
Lighters are best used for burning bodies, not as a source of light. They can be unreliable at times.
Don’t even think about flashlights and/or lanterns. They ALWAYS die.
Use glow-sticks. Massive, long-lasting, industrial strength glow-sticks. Attach them to a wrist band if you want. In fact, bring an entire arsenal of them with you.
If you’re outside don’t pick up a small branch as a weapon, find a rock or a THICK branch.
A small kitchen knife won’t help you. Grab a cleaver, or better yet, a machete as a weapon.
Shotguns are the shit but run out of ammo too fast, take time to reload and aren’t so great for extremely close up. I’d recommend a sawed shotgun, or something that can hold loads of ammo. Bring extra ammo with you as well.
If you run out of ammo, don’t just drop your gun, THROW it at thing that’s chasing you. Throw it HARD, at it’s face.
LOOK WHERE YOU’RE RUNNING! Don’t trip on something and just sit there like “this is it, this is how it ends”. Get the hell up and RUN!
Something is chasing you and you found a hiding spot? Don’t leave your hiding spot after thirty seconds because you think the thing may have ran past you, stay in the hiding spot, and no peaking around it for the thing that’s chasing you.
Screw simple salt circles. You know your house is haunted? Hot glue salt circles and lines everywhere!
You made a deal ten years ago? Hot glue goofer dust everywhere!
Bless your sprinkler system and pool’s water supply. Fill water guns with holy water.
Melt down silver, iron, and mix it with rock salt and holy water to create bullets. Carve in a demon trap or put one in the mold.
Combine silver and iron in your handmade weapons, such as knives and swords.
You see a sickly person creeping up on you who won’t respond, don’t continue to talk to it, it’s a zombie! Hack it’s fucking head off with your machete.
Don’t draw/paint demon traps, carve them into things.
Don’t whisper “Christo” unless you have some sort of plan for in case the person’s eyes go black.
Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to contact a dead person.
Don’t fuck or have any sort of relationship with Sam Winchester.
Don’t dig up graves during the day.
Combine salt with kerosene or gasoline BEFORE digging up a grave. You don’t want ghosts and shit trying to kill you while you take your sweet time salting the rotting corpse then applying gasoline, before playing with matches/a lighter.
If you feel like you’re being watched, you are. Get the hell out and never look back.