hot dogs and mac and cheese

some tips from your local depressed college student
  • cheap paper towels + hydrogen peroxide = acne treatment (just be careful not to bleach your eyebrows unless you’re into that idk)
  • use the acne face soap on your chest, upper back, and shoulders instead, since it doesn’t do shit for your face (or at least not mine)
  • no one is stopping you from bushing your teeth in the shower except yourself (just eliminating that extra step of going to the sink makes it so much easier for me)
  • did you know you’re actually supposed to put on stick deodorant at night??? It has time to absorb while u sleep or stare at the ceiling in dispair whichever works best for u
  • carrots and/or apples dipped in peanut butter = dinner (or just plain peanut butter but it helps to get a lil something extra if you can manage it)
  • if you give yourself an allowance of skip days (i’m talking like 3 or 4 max) then it can be easier to go to class if you remind yourself “i only have 2 skip days left, I’m gonna save them until I REALLY need them” (think of skip days like non-essential items in a video game - you could use them now, but what if you really need them during the final boss battle later on??)
  • the velveeta microwave dinners aren’t great but they’re cheap and better than some other options out there. the mac n cheese w/ meat ones can smell a bit like dog food but they still taste pretty good
  • if you like peppermint hot chocolate - save the after dinner mints you get at places like Chik Fil A and italian restaurants and such and then drop a couple in your mug before you put it in the microwave. boom. 
  • if you’ve got a sore throat, just take a spoonful of honey (or squirt it directly from the bottle to your mouth if you’re a heathen like me) and go find a hot drink
  • for essays - highlight/number/circle/whatever you want to do to make ‘em stand out the quotes you want to use in your paper, then go take a shower or get something to eat or just watch like a 15-20 minute video on YouTube and then come back to your paper, pop those fuckin’ quotes in the right order, and write in the smart bullshit around them
  • okay actually the one thing that I will spend a little extra money on is cough drops bc i get a sore throat all the damn time and the only kind i will buy anymore is Halls Breezers they taste like candy instead of koala shit my personal favorite is cool berry but the orange creme ones are good too honestly these cough drops have saved my life at least six times now
  • coffee is gr9 but don’t forget to have some water every day too dehydration is NOT FUN (speaking from very painful personal experience)
Lunch Time

I saw a cute idea for kids lunches online, and I thought it could be a fun way to subtly feel little, plus it helps eat healthy for those who pack meals for school, work, or other activities. (Added bonus for adorable lunch boxes. I have a sock monkey one.)

Gather a few plastic bins or tubs to put in your fridge (and maybe a few for the counter/pantry) and label them with what is going in each one. I think I’m going to have 8: main dish, main side, fruit, veggie, dairy, snack, drink and dessert. Then once a week or every two weeks, or however often you need to prepare the things to go in the bins. Then when you pack a meal, grab one out of each bin, or as many of the bins as you need.

Here are a few ideas of what to put in each bin:

Main Dish:
- PB&J
- Cup Noodles
- Easy Mac
- Turkey or Ham Sandwich
- Quesadilla
- Grilled Chicken
- Hot Dog
- Thermos of Soup

Your main dish should be something that can be eaten as is, or easily microwaved.

Main Side:
- Hard Boiled Eggs
- Rice
- Pasta Salad

The main side should either help the main dish taste better, or fill in what it may be lacking in protein.

Fruit:
- Apple or Orange Slices
- Grapes
- Mixed Berries
- Peach
- Fruit Cup

Look for in season fruits for the cheapest and tastiest.

Veggie:
- Carrots
- Celery
- Steamed Broccoli
- Snap Peas
- Corn
- Small Salad

Adding a dressing can spice veggies up.

Dairy:
- Cheese Stick or Cubes
- Yogurt Cup
- Gogurt (I like to freeze them)

Calcium is crazy important. I know I struggle to get enough because I don’t like milk.

Snack:
- Chips
- Trail Mix
- Peanuts
- Protein Bar
- Fruit Snacks
- Crackers

Snacks are good for quick consumption. If you have a short break and need a little boost, these are perfect.

Drink:
- Juice Box
- Bottle of Water
- Capri Sun
- Can or Bottle of Tea
- Gatorade

I always suggest that if you bring anything besides water, to bring some water too. Hydration is key.

Dessert:
- A Few cookies
- Pudding Cup
- Small Candy Bar

This might be a good one to limit to 2 or 3 times a week.


Let me know if any of you try this, and if so what you like or would want to change!

listen up guys this one is important!!

ok so with the knew “it” movie out, i think its important to dispel some media perpetrated clown myths and explain how to properly handle clown husbandry and diet.  the media really likes to portray clowns as threatening and cruel which is not true! clowns can be excellent companions  if you treat them right!  they’re difficult to care for but when you watch them romping around, beeping noses and making balloon animals freely, you’ll understand why the clown keeping hobby is so popular

FIRST OF ALL: 

 clowns do NOT live in sewers and they will not live long at all in those stupid clown starter kits, ive seen a lot of posts about those already but it can always be reminded.  clowns need lots of space to play!  exact measurement depends on what kind of clown(s)  you are looking to keep, but all of them need more than these stupid things.  EVEN JESTERS (which ill get back to later)  NEED the space of a full tent, this is even more important if you have yourself  a Bunch of clowns.  Clowns often do a lot better in Bunches than alone.

FEEDING YOUR CLOWN:

 clowns dont eat children!!!!! clowns eat a variety of foods including corn dogs, candy floss, candy apples, pop corn and hot dogs.  some recent breeds also enjoy pizza and hamburgers.  nearly all clowns love to eat treats like deep fried oreos and mac n cheese balls but its very important to limit those as TREATS.  its unhealthy to feed your clown only treats!  not only can their coat and markings fade, but they’ll often feel ill and wont play, clown, hula hoop or even blow a regular balloon (let alone bend balloon animals).  they can also develop behavioral problems if not fed the right diet.  IT IS WIDELY POPULARIZED that pellets are a complete diet and thats absolutely not true.  pellets do not offer the full spectrum of nutrients that clowns require and the boring texture makes them sad :(.  for proper care, ensure your clown gets a good variety of fresh foods! buying your own candy floss machine is an excellent idea if youre planning to stay in the hobby.

IF YOUR CLOWN WONT EAT: 

first of all know that there is probably an underlying issue with husbandry (especially with circus clowns but we’ll get to that later) heating, enrichment or socialization.  do they have enough space?  is the sediment in their arena clean?  do they have an array of toys, juggling items and balls?  do they need to go to the Honk Park to meet some friends?  those are issues you need to review to permanently resolve the issue, but some clowns really are just picky, if you need to get a clown to eat, a really solid method is to pretend the food item is an airplane! if that doesn’t work try a land vehicle like a  car or train that might be more recognizable.  its most important you figure out whats causing the issue in the first place above all else.

WHERE SHOULD I GET A CLOWN FROM?

 clowns can be bought from breeders, clown stores, clown shelters, or clown rescues and each have different aspects that need to be considered.  

clown stores sell clowns, but often those clowns come from clown mills which dont offer any enrichment, proper footwear, cars, party supplies or feed for them. most agree that clown stores are not a good place to get yourself a clown, the fact they have been mistreated can also often affect how they interact, such as a fear of humans or children. it may be tempting to buy that sad looking boingo, but know that by doing so you are supporting that industry even if your heart is in the right place.

if buying a clown from a breeder you can fully ensure that clown comes from a good line that carries the qualities you need (good with children, expert in impressions etc.)  you can also find very interesting purebreds of rarer species like mimes!  this is often a good choice for your first clown.

a clown shelter is also a good place to get a starter clown, although you cant often find the clowns lineage or pedigree, it can often be assumed from their markings what sort of a clown they are, a lot of people like shelter clowns because its getting a clown off the street and into a nice warm tent with proper enrichment so they can lead a fuller happier life.  in a clown sanctuary you can also observe clown behaviors to see which fits your home best.  just know if you go to get one, you’ll probably leave with three, they like being in family groupings and theyre just so cute!!

clown rescues are an important business to support, but its important to know rescue clowns often have behavioral issues that can make them more difficult to care for.  some clowns after being tormented by children do not like them and may act aggressively.  some rodeo clowns may have an appetite for destruction.  some clowns may have been picked on and dont like staying in Bunches with other clowns, some may have irrational fears of natural clowning behaviors like playing in tiny cars, balloons popping and of course pies.  most rescue clowns are afraid of pies.  just because its funny doesnt mean its good for the clown.  if youre thinking about adopting a rescue clown, make sure you’re prepared for the special rehabilitation they need.

WHATS A GOOD STARTER CLOWN: 

 there is no real true “starter clown”  all clowns require detailed care.  some clowns are more forgiving though.  Some common clowns you should know about (and probably already know some about) include

circus clowns:  everybody knows a circus clown when they see them, theyre robust, entertaining and very skillful, theyre one of the only clowns which can properly use a party cannon! (note, no other clown should be offered use of a party cannon.  circus clowns have special shock absorbers that allow them to safely use them, other clowns do not and can become seriously injured.) due to this, and their recognizable markings, many breeders recommend these as starter clowns.  THIS IS VERY FOOLISH.  circus clowns are very picky about  husbandry and can even go off feed if they arent given the proper requirements!  they NEED at least two other clowns to properly thrive as well as a large arena to romp in, a small car is also highly recommended.  they often go through a bale of candy floss a day!!!

jesters: the common misconception about jesters is that they only need a very small space (clown starter kit ugh) to thrive.  this is absolutely a lie.  in the wild jesters DO sometimes take refuge in small places during the night, but during the day they are provided an entire courtyard to play in.  clown shops often perpetuate this myth so they can sell you cheaper more breakable clown supplies as well as decreasing the lifespan of your jester so you’ll need to get a new one.  it is true jesters take comfort in small private spaces, but that means its important to provide them with hides amidst their enclosure, when cared for properly they are an extremely beautiful species and Bunches of them often perform gentle acrobatics.  be cautious though!  theyre feisty, they love physical humor and will not hesitate to throw objects at handlers, maybe not a good choice for small children.

lastly, party clowns:  these little guys are probably the closest thing to a starter clown you can get.  they arent very picky with food, their needs for space arent too enormous, they only require a medium or small tent (unless you have a Bunch) and they can be kept alone! solo party clowns often bond very closely with their families!  but the more the merrier!  theyre often very mild mannered and gentle with children.  it is important to allow them time to recuperate so they need about 12 hours of sleep on average.  they come in a variety of different styles and as long as they’re provided with proper footwear they are usually quite long lived.

hopefully that helped clear up the mystery of clown keeping! remember to do your research and take care of your clown!  if you can no longer take care of your clown or your Bunch, please contact a local shelter so that they can find a new home!  clowns do well moving on to new places!  take care everybody happy clowning!

The Nanny Part 9

Summary: When Bucky Barnes hired a Nanny, he thought he was going to hire someone to take care of the kid. But when she starts, he knows that she is more than just a Nanny

A/N: So…. I wrote this in like an hour and i hope it’s not crap??? 

Warnings: Mice?

Word Count:idk 1.4k almost  

The Nanny MasterList


Previously

Emily ran in with two towels and handed one to you, grabbed your hand and pulled you outside towards the pool.

With a coat of sunscreen on and some music playing through the speakers, the two of you began a mix of swimming and playing games, not noticing Bucky standing in the door way, a smile on his face and a feeling in his chest that he hadn’t felt in a very long time.

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the signs as more out of context things my friends have said
  • aries: "george washington is DEAD, and he is WRONG. i'll FIGHT his cow teeth!"
  • taurus: "yeah thanks for the cookie cake, too bad it SUCKS"
  • gemini: "but i mean, maybe we can do a controlled burn of some underbrush and call it a day."
  • cancer: "hot dog." (a pause) "imagine that said very enthusiastically."
  • leo: "yeah, this peach has like--faint hairs." (rubs palm on it seductively)
  • virgo: "come join the party, we have neon highlighters and stress!"
  • libra: "as long as the winds are accompanied by the smell of maple syrup, i wouldn't mind a disembodied voice talking to me about canadian minimum wage."
  • scorpio: "satan will jam with me."
  • sagittarius: (frustrated) "were you expecting grapes? No, i was NOT expecting grapes."
  • capricorn: "chick fil a is my favorite italian."
  • aquarius: "jesus ONLY likes peanut butter and jelly."
  • pisces: "it’s not like if i order the adult mac n cheese, they’re gonna give me more colors!"
4th of July - Daddy’s Little Lovebug

Word Count: 1816

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: None

A/N: Unbeta’d. All Mistakes are mine. Gifs aren’t mine. Credit to the owners. 

Daddy’s Little Lovebug Masterlist


“Daddy stop!” JoJo’s giggles could be heard throughout the bunker and you made your way to the source, trying to find out just how Dean was torturing your daughter to elicit that kind of laughter. “Daddy!”

“What?” He questioned, a smile of his own lighting up his face. “I’m trying to get you to wave it right! Now go!” He grabbed her arm that was holding a tiny American flag and shook it violently, waving the flag every which way making her whole body shake. You couldn’t resist snapping a picture of them playing before making your presence known.

“You really love torturing her, don’t you?” You stood in the doorway, crossing your arms over your chest and leaning against the doorframe, completely enthralled in watching them battle one another. “And what are you even wearing?” Dean Winchester before JoJo would never have been caught dead in a red, white, and blue star necklace and a sequined 4th of July hat, but damned if he wasn’t wearing one now.

“It’s patriotic, Y/N/N. Where’s your 4th of July stuff?”

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Part two of this prompt fill for @wayward-authors-kitsune

college!au, angst with a happy ending

Avoiding Cas is surprisingly easy.

All Dean has to do is block him on all social media sites, park his car down the street at a friend’s house so Cas never knows when he’s home, rely more on public transportation to get to campus, and finally just never leave his apartment except for class.

Easy peasy.

That is, until Dean needs to go to the grocery store. He’s been living off Ramen noodles and mac and cheese for weeks now, too afraid to stop anywhere near campus in case Cas is nearby. 

But now he’s officially all out of beer and Captain Morgan and he figures he could probably use some non-microwaveable groceries while he’s out. 

He goes to the little market about four blocks away. He hits up the essentials first: booze, some hamburger, hot dogs, bread, eggs. He considers produce but immediately shakes that thought loose and decides that he’s entitled to some ice cream instead.

“Dean?”

Dean freezes,  carton half way to his basket. It takes everything in him to turn around and the moment he connects with blue eyes he really wishes he hadn’t.

Cas looks sick staring back at him, eyes glasses over with a sort of disbelief, like he thinks he’s seeing a ghost. 

He says Dean’s name again but Dean doesn’t respond. They’re both tense, like they’re about to draw on each other in an old western movie instead of standing in a damn milk aisle. 

As awkward as the moment it, Dean almost wishes they could stay like this. Because it’s good to see Cas, the flesh and blood Cas. He’s missed him like you miss air when you’re holding your breath. But he also knows that if Cas talks, if he tries to come at him, Dean will run. He can feel his knees bracing for a take-off and he’s not ready to look away.

But Cas does it. He takes a step forward and Dean immediately takes one back. Cas’s eyes travel down to Dean’s feet and he looks hurt.

“Dean, please, let me-” He takes two quick steps and Dean is speeding past the checkout lines, dropping the basket somewhere alone the way.

He doesn’t breathe again until he’s back in his apartment. He falls on the couch and draws he knees up, settling his head between his legs as he sucks in breaths and lets his head clear.

He’s so fucked. So impossibly fucked. 

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ellsworld headcannon masterpost

ell:

  • leaves nice comments on her friends pics
  • wears mountain boots
  • softest hair
  • had a random xD furry phase
  • enjoys workout clothes,,, doesn’t work out
  • cherry cola lip balm
  • tallest
  • only uses the dog snapchat filter
  • sarcastic but in a nice way
  • loved the female ghost busters remake
  • buzzfeed yellow
  • doesn’t shave her legs
  • no tight clothing eVer
  • owns a series of funny mugs with puns and jokes on them
  • six scoops of sugar in her tea
  • hot chocolate > coffee
  • knows how to make instant mac and cheese/ramen (hint: that’s all she knows how to make)


tamara:

  • shaves nothing
  • pierced her own ears because tori said she was too much of a baby to actually do it
  • eyebrow piercing for Aesthetic™
  • snappy
  • prefers flavoured smirnoff
  • likes skinny jeans only if they have rips
  • buys her hoodies from the men’s section because pockets also fuck gender norms
  • nailbiter
  • wears crocs
  • ribbons!!
  • mismatch socks
  • knows all the words to Shrek the Musical
  • lives off of cereal
  • bites pens
  • obnoxious gum chewer
  • sappy drunk
  • winged eyeliner


matilda:

  • religiously paints her nails
  • wears the most makeup, but it’s very natural looking
  • eyeliner is swoopy
  • will paint everyone else’s nails whether they like it or not
  • least greasy hair
  • showers religiously
  • buys super smelly shampoo and soap
  • pops all the christmas crackers herself and leaves none for anyone else
  • always does sexy halloween costumes
  • loves tight fitted clothing
  • wears ballet flats
  • best kisser
  • updates her social media with a new selfie every .05 seconds
  • bad at math
  • will see something shiny on the ground and pick it up and keep it
  • hates thrift stores
  • the only one that uses deodorant
  • makes scrapbooks (it’s just pictures of her)
  • shaves everything everywhere
  • watches dubs instead of subs
  • buys something just because it had a nice texture
  • very texture reliant
  • can never find anything in her shoe size
  • frozen yogurt


tori:

  • listen i have a lot of feelings on tori
  • makes her friends wear thigh highs because Anime
  • subs not dubs jesus christ matilda
  • crop tops are super rad
  • the longest hair you will ever see
  • nails are worse than tamaras
  • kickboxes
  • has a punching bag in her room
  • converse!!!
  • favorite movie is mean girls
  • owns a book of snappy oneliners
  • loves heelies and light up shoes
  • passive aggressive
  • hides in the bushes and throws water balloons and oncoming pedestrians
  • shortest
  • took anatomy class in highschool just to dissect things
  • dark humor
  • makes fun of people that drink pumpkin spice lattes
  • peppermint is her favorite flavor
  • functions out of spite
  • she gets money by giving people malware
  • broke a kids nose in grade school cause he tried to kiss her
  • has a bachelors degree, but no one knows what for??? she won’t tell???
  • extensive first aid knowledge
  • does not use said knowledge
  • will sleep on unattended laundry
  • really nice if you can catch her in a good mood
  • genuinely hates anyone that isn’t ell or matilda
  • uses a flip phone


misc:

  • the end doesn’t happen, alright???
  • they’re all lesbians
The Farmhouse: Intro

It had been a pretty rough past few days for everyone, what with Shredder returning, Bebop and Rocksteady beating them with single blows, battling the Kraang and taking down the Technodrome…yeah, rough week. Everyone was exhausted, especially the boys. Even though they were happy with their accomplishments everyone could tell that they desperately needed to get away from the city. All the boys wanted was a bit of quiet so they could rest and recover, but the sounds of the city kept them from doing so. April, Casey, Splinter, and you more than anyone could see that they desperately needed to get away. It really showed when Leonardo was mediating one day and not even five minutes passed when he suddenly threw his incense and candles against the wall and yelled in frustration, “There’s too much goddamn noise!”

This startled everyone and you immediately decided in that moment to call April. You had both talked about taking the boys to April’s farmhouse in the country to get them away, and this only proved that it was definitely needed. Of course April agreed immediately and the both of you went up to the boys and told them to pack their bags! They were going on a little vacation!

The boys were beyond excited. Of course, they asked Master Splinter to come too but he politely declined. He didn’t mind the noise of the city and he would like a few days to himself, probably to restart that 24 hour meditating session since his sons interrupted it last time.

And so, that night, the turtles piled into the back of April’s van with her in the driver’s seat and you in the passenger’s seat and started to leave the city. After a few hours of driving, the boys finally felt the van come to a halt and the engine turned off. They looked up at each other excitedly and you opened the back doors of the van, letting the sunlight in. They shielded their eyes from the sudden brightness and slowly stepped out of the van and looked around.

“Wooaahhhh this is awesoomme…!” Mikey whispered as he looked around in wonder. There was so much sunshine and so much green - and is that a lake over there?? Donnie was studying everything he could see. Every plant, bug, noise, you name it. Leo and Raph just smiled and looked around with wide eyes. This place was somewhere that they had never dreamed of going. They had seen places like this before on tv and in movies and often imagined what it would be like to feel the grass beneath their feet, swim in the lake, even roast marshmallows by a campfire. Now they finally had the chance thanks to you and April.

“Come on guys, let’s put our bags inside and you can pick out your rooms.” said April as she picked up her own bag and started for the house. She used a key to unlock it and opened the door. The inside of the house was cute and cozy. It had a spacious living room, a bright kitchen, and a large bedroom with a bathroom attached to it downstairs and upstairs had three bedrooms and a couple of bathrooms. The boys insisted that either you or April get the master bedroom.

“Or both of you can share the bedroom and we see what happens?” Mikey asked with a wink.

“Uh, you know what, I’ll just take the couch. April, you can have the bedroom. This is kinda your house.” you offered. April knew you didn’t mind sleeping on the couch, since you’ve had to crash at her place a couple of times in the past. So you were pretty used to sleeping on a couch at this point. The boys thundered upstairs and you and April laughed when you could hear them stomping around and yelling at each other from downstairs.

“I call this room!”

“Aw man, I wanted that one!”

“Hey!”

“I call top bunk!”

“This is going to be really good for them April. They need this.” you said. April smiled and nodded, laughing a little from the commotion going on upstairs.

“Yeah, they’ll finally get to be boys for once and relax for a while.” she said. You were pretty excited to see the turtles out of their element for a change. You’ll finally get to see more than just Mikey goofing around and having a good time. You could just picture Raph chopping some firewood, Leo fishing peacefully at the lake, Donnie working on that vintage car in the garage, then you giggled, imagining Mikey sitting quietly for once picking flowers to make flower crowns for everyone.

After a few minutes the boys had settled into their rooms and started to walk back downstairs. Raph and Mikey had their own rooms while Leo and Donnie took the bunk beds in the other room. They all decided that since Leo and Donnie get their own rooms at the lair, Mikey and Raph should get that luxury for at least a few days.

“So, what do you guys wanna do first?” you asked and HOLY MOLY they wanted to do so much. That first day you were at the farmhouse, you hiked, played ultimate frisbee, and the boys swam in the swimming hole until the sun set and you and April called them in for dinner. They got back to the house, starving from everything they did today and from swimming for hours. Their mouths watered when they saw all the delicious food set out on the table. Hamburgers, hot dogs, baked mac and cheese, smoked sausage with corn and vegetables and cherry pie for dessert.

“GODDESSES!!” Mikey and Raph yelled in unison and got on their knees in front of you and April and started to practically worship you two. You laughed and patted their heads.

“All of this looks delicious girls, thanks so much for cooking.” Leo said thankfully as he leaned down some to smell the food.

April just smiled and waved him off and you smiled at him. “Don’t thank us, you guys deserve it. Now, eat as much as you want!” The boys happily did as they were told. After dinner was finished and the dishes were cleaned, everyone decided to turn in.

You slipped on your pajamas and started for the couch. You were laying a blanket down on it when you noticed a small note placed carefully on your pillow. It was folded in half and had your name written on the front of it. You raised an eyebrow and opened the note. What was written inside made you let out a small gasp and you blushed deeply. You slowly sat on the couch and read every word.


(Y/n),

There’s nothing about you that I don’t find beautiful, unique, smart, and loving. Today I feel like I finally got to see more of you and more of the wonderful person that you are. There is nothing more I want to do than to just hold you in my arms and call you mine. I love you, (Y/n). I have since the moment I met you and I hope that you love me as much as I love you.

Yours,

To be continued… 

↠Childhood Meal Pizza🍕↞ You don’t need a shitty pizza chain when you and your bff can make an awesome pizza…Mac n cheese pizza w/ hot dog stuffed crust. @followyourheart cheddar shreds & @fieldroast original chao cheese for the cheese sauce. @the_tofurky_company Hot dogs. @traderjoesgrocery Crust with cornmeal. Sriracha ketchup and peas. PIZZA HUH?!

eastofthemoon  asked:

Shiro thought, I know you headcanon that Shiro likes more instant food like instant ramen, kraft dinner, etc Do you think Shiro would like mug cakes? They're easy to make (I love them), but I can see Hunk not being a fan of them because they have the microwave taste.

(Point of order: Kraft Mac and Cheese.  Though I admit Shiro would really love adding ketchup and hot dogs to it)

I think so, but I think Shiro also 90 percent of the time looks at the finished version and goes ‘oh, man, under cooked’ and puts it in until it’s a dry, flaky mess.  Hunk doesn’t necessarily miiind mug cakes, though he prefers the real version and thinks most the recipes for it are shit.  But the fact that Shiro will sit there and calmly eat what’s basically flour sand is slowly killing him.

(”Do you hate me?” Hunk finally bursts out one day, scrubbing over his face.

Shiro looks up from his mug, eyes wide.  He looks down at it, just a flicker, then tilts it toward Hunk.  “No.  Did you want some?” He asks carefully, like he’s not sure that’s the solution to this issue.

Because it’s not.  Hunk looks at the mug like it’s a bomb that’s about to go off.  “If you wanted cake, you could have asked for my help.”

Shiro frowns.  “I wouldn’t ask you to do that just for this.  And besides, it was just a craving, we don’t need to make a whole cake.”  He goes back to eating, and Hunk watches in horror as he happily swallows each dry, crumbling bite.)

SiH characters and unholy stuff I've seen people do to their food
  • Ritsu: Pineapple in pizza
  • Takano: Ketchup in pasta (like spaghetti or mac and cheese)
  • Kisa: Doesn't eat the pizza crust (the only understandable one)
  • Yukina: Peanut butter and celery (this is shocking common wtf is wrong with you people)
  • Chiaki: Cereal in hot dog
  • Hatori: Eats mayonnaise by its self
  • Mino: Ice in cereal (he likes eating shit as cold as his heart in the mornings)
Creepypasta #1032: Jenny Martin

Length: Long

When I was younger, about eight, I think, Jenny Martin from down the road would come babysit me. 

For the most part, Jenny was a really great babysitter. It was during the summer, when my parents had to work, so she and I would spend the whole day together. From memory, she was really tall, but that could be because everyone is tall when you’re eight. She had brown hair, brown eyes and freckles. I think she was fifteen or sixteen. Jenny always loved doing the things I loved doing. She would play Barbies with me, and finger paint and give me a cookie at lunch. Sometimes we’d walk to the park and have a picnic lunch. She was really great.

I think my parents would come home at 4:30, because she always left, just before dinner. And my mom and dad would ask how my day was, and I would hop around and tell them all the fun I’ve had. Those summer days were great. But then, school started. My parents wanted the occasional date night, sometimes worked longer hours, etc. So Jenny would come over after school, and stay really late.

The first few nights were fine. We had things like chicken nuggets or Mac ’n’ Cheese, or hot dogs for dinner. One night, that I remember really clearly though, we had chicken breast. My mom had left a recipe and all the spices on the counter, but I remember Jenny didn’t touch a single one. And when dinner was served, sitting beside some raw veggies, was an equally raw piece of chicken. I remember being really confused and pointed out to Jenny that I didn’t think it was cooked right. And she said,

“Raw is a delicacy. Eat up.” I didn’t know what delicacy meant, but it sounded fancy, and I trusted her, so I ate the meat. Jenny did too; she tore into it like it a starving dog, and blood dripped off her fingers, and fat smeared her mouth. She licked her lips and sucked her fingers before cleaning up.

Since I was eight years old, I naturally had a bedtime, which my mom tells me was 7:30. So at 7:25, Jenny would help me brush my teeth and get into my PJs and read me a bedtime story, before tucking me in.

I always fell asleep rather quickly; I think most little kids do. And since I didn’t have a clock in my room, I have no idea how long it was before I woke up to strange sounds coming from the downstairs. If I had been any older I would have investigated. But my eight-year-old self would hunker under the blankets and squeeze her eyes shut, trying desperately to ignore the faint gurgling and scratching coming from the living room.

The next morning, I’d tell my parents there were funny sounds from downstairs and they told me Jenny heard them too. Apparently, the water heater needed a new pipe or something. I don’t remember exactly the story Jenny told them, but I bought it.

I’m pretty sure I was an accident. Now that I’m older, I’ve heard stories of how neither of my parents wanted kids, and a drunk Uncle Finn told me that I was conceived in the bushes of a Van Halen concert. My parents were pretty good parents - are pretty good parents, but even as a kid, I could tell they didn’t like having me tag along. So the nights with Jenny slowly became more frequent as they trusted her more and more.

About a month after the water heater story, I decided to see if it really was the water heater. Like usual, I brushed my teeth, changed, read a story and went to bed. And like usual, I woke up who-knows-how-much later to weird noises. I grabbed the flashlight I had previously stashed under my pillow (I would need it for the basement) and slowly crept from my bed. I creaked open my bedroom door, and made my way towards the sounds. I remember being confused, because the gurgling seemed to be coming from the living room – where Jenny was, and not the basement which was in a different direction. I reasoned the sounds must be coming from a vent or something.

I turned off the flashlight because I didn’t want Jenny to catch me snooping around, and besides, the TV light was plenty to see by. The noises were really loud in the living room. I slowly peeked my head around the corner of the door way. Jenny sat on the couch, with her knees pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped around her knees and her hair falling over her downward-tilted face. She wasn’t even facing the TV. She was facing me.

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