once i went to the movie theater with my friend who wears hijab and while we were sitting down she turned to me and said “people always ask me what i have under here. let me show you” and proceeded to whip out two dorito bags, three hostess cakes, and a pack of gummy worms

Love Yourself | Pt. 2

Originally posted by mayfifolle

Genre: Angst

Pairing: (Personal Trainer) Jimin x Reader

Length: 3.3k

Warnings: M for some language. Don’t read if you’re sensitive about weight issues. Eventual smut not in this chapter.

It was currently storming outside and the sound of thunder jolted you awake. 

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Summary: Baron is going to dinner with you and your parents, it will also be the first time your parents have met Baron. He’s extremely nervous at your house before the two of you leave, but you assure him he has nothing to worry about.
*          *          *          *
You were standing in the bathroom of your apartment getting ready. You had butterflies in your stomach the size of Texas. Tonight you were having dinner with your parents and your boyfriend, Baron, so they could meet.

You met Baron when you started working as a backstage interviewer at WWE’s developmental brand, NXT, where Baron was wrestling at the time. You were a little intimidated by him at first, you being 5'4" and him being 6'8". But after hanging out with him after a show one night with a group of other people from work the two of you hit it off right away. The two of you started having more and more conversations, and you were the only one who could get really great interviews and promos out of Baron.

After a few months your friendship turned to more when Baron confessed his feelings to you. You had officially been together six months and you couldn’t be happier. This was the next big step the two of you had to take.

You had just finished applying your make up when you heard the front door open.

“Babe?” You heard him call out from the living room.

“In the bedroom.” You yelled back.

Thirty seconds later you saw his large frame smiling at you in the reflection as he leaned against the doorframe of your bathroom. You looked at and smiled.
His hair was slicked back, and you noticed that his facial hair was freshly trimmed. He was wearing a dark gray plaid suit with a white button up shirt on underneath. It was the first time you had ever seen him in a suit.

“What? Is it too much?” He asked as he took in your expression.

“No. No, you look great. I’ve just never seen you in a suit before.” You said.

“I wanted to make a good impression.” He said.

“Baron, they’re going to love you.” You said.

“I’m a 6'8” professional wrestler with tattoos who rides motorcycles and likes rock music. I’m sure I’m exactly what your parents pictured in a boyfriend for you.“ He said sarcastically.

"Baron, I love you for who you are. That’s why my parents are going to love you too.” You said.

You turned around and walked over to him and wrapped your arms around his torso and tipped your head back so you could look up at him.

“What if they don’t like me, though?” He asked.

“They’ll love you.” You said.

“But what if-”

“Then nothing changes. I’m still going to love you, Baron. Nothing can change that.” You said.

“Promise?” He asked as his dark eyes looked into yours.

“I promise. No matter what they think, I’m not going anywhere.” You said.

“Good. I don’t want to lose you.” He said softly before he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours.

He pulled away from the kiss and then looked down at his watch

“You ready? We should probably head out.” He said.

“Yeah, I just need to grab my purse.” You said.

You locked the door of your apartment and you and Baron made your way to the parking lot.

“My car or yours?” Baron asked.

“We can take mine.” You said.

“You want me to drive?” Baron asked.

“Sure.” You said as you tossed the keys to him and slid into the passenger seat.

The drive from your apartment to the restaurant was quiet. The radio played quietly in the background, but that was the only noise to be heard in the car. You could see Baron was nervous by how hard he was gripping the steering wheel.

“Baron, you don’t have anything to be nervous about.” You said for what felt like the hundredth time as you reached over and took his hand in yours intertwining your fingers together.

He gave your hand a gentle squeeze before sighing and glancing over at you.

“I’m just worried I’m not going to be good enough for them.” He said. “You mean so much to me, Y/n. I’m just afraid that if they don’t like me they’ll try to get you to break up with me or something.”

“It’s going to be fine. Just think positive.” You said.

He nodded and let out a sigh as he pulled up in front of the restaurant. He turned the car off and the two of you step out. You smiled when you saw your parents’ car pull into the parking spot next to yours.

“It’s so good to see you again, sweetheart!” Your mom said as she stepped out of the car and pulled you in for a hug.

“He’s cute!” She whispered in your ear before pulling away.

“Mom, this is Baron. Baron, this is my mom, Y/mom/n.”

“Nice to meet you Mrs. Y/last/n.” Baron said as he extended his hand to her.

“Oh, there’s no need for any of that Mrs. Stuff. Please call me, Y/mom/n.” She said.

“Yes ma’am.” Baron said nodding to her.

“There’s my little girl.” Your dad said as he walked around the car and held an arm out to you. You smiled and took a step closer to him and gave him a side hug.

“Dad, this is my boyfriend, Baron. Baron, this is my dad, Y/dad/n.” You said.

“It’s nice to meet you, sir.” Baron said as he held his hand out to your father. Your dad looked at Baron for a moment before reaching out and cautiously taking his hand.

“It’s nice to finally meet the girl that Y/n is always talking about.” Your dad said as he looked from Baron to you.

“Should we go in?” Your mom suggested.

The four of you walked into the restaurant and it was packed. The hostess told you that it was going to be at least a forty-five minute wait for a table.

“We actually have reservations under Corbin.” Baron said.

Both you and your mom looked at Baron with confused looks. Baron didn’t mention anything about getting a reservation.

“Yes, I have a table ready for you. Please follow me!” The hostess said as she grabbed four menus from the podium and led you through the restaurant to a table towards the back.

“Ladies first.” Baron said as he motioned for you to slide into the booth first. You slid into the booth before Baron slid in next to you. Your mom slid in across from you and your dad sat across from Baron.

“I can’t believe you got us in here. This place is packed!” Your mom said.

“I heard this place can have a long wait time so I made sure to call and assure we got a table.” Baron said.

Your waitress came over and brought all of you water glasses and then took your drink order.

“So Baron, Y/n tells me she met you at work…” your dad says.

“Yes sir.” Baron said as he glanced over at you with a small smile.

“So you’re still getting the hang of the whole wrestling thing down in developmental then?” He asked.

“Actually, I’ve been called up to the main roster. I’m on the SmackDown brand now.” Baron said.

“Congratulations. I’ll have to tune in sometime.” Your dad said.

“So do you just wrestle on SmackDown or are you on the road too?” Your mom asked.

“I’m on the road right now.” Baron said.

“How many days are you on the road?” Your dad asked.

“I believe I’m booked to be on the road around 300 days this year.” Baron said.

“That doesn’t give you much time at home with your family then, does it?” Your dad asked before looking at you.

You felt Baron tense up next to you.

“Well it helps since we work together. We get to see each other more now that I’m a backstage interviewer on SmackDown.” You said.

“I suppose he had something to do with you getting the promotion?” Your dad asked as he looked at Baron.

“Not at all, sir. Y/n is very talented. She was the only one who could get me to break out of my shell. She’s earned her spot.” Baron said as he smiled over at you.

“So Y/n mentioned you’re into riding motorcycles…” your dad said.

“Yes sir.” Baron said.

“Two wheel death traps if you ask me.” Your dad scoffed.

You heard Baron swallow a lump in his throat before reaching for his glass of water and taking a drink.

You didn’t know how this night could go any worse. It was a disaster. And your dad wasn’t going easy on Baron at all. You could see a small layer of sweat starting to form on Baron’s forehead. You couldn’t remember the last time you had seen him this nervous.

“I suppose you ride with him?” Your dad asked as he looked over at you.

“Um…yes. But he bought me my own helmet and jacket. And he’s really careful when I’m with him.” You said.

Your dad simply nodded before turning his attention to the menu in his hands.

“Dear, I think I left my glasses in the car would you walk out there with me?” Your mom asked as she looked at your dad.

“I’d be happy to walk with you, Mrs. Y/last/n.” Baron said.

“Oh that’s okay, Baron. Y/dad/n can walk with me. That’s very nice of you to offer, though.” She said.

Once your parents were out of ear sight Baron turned to you.

“He hates me.” He said.

“He doesn’t hate you.” You said.

“He hasn’t smiled once the entire time. Every time I say anything he just nods. No emotion. No expression…” Baron said.

“He’s just really protective of me. I-I’ve…” You began to say before you stopped yourself.

“You what?” He asked.

“He’s seen me get hurt in the past. He’s seen me broken and crying. He’s very protective of me because of it.” You said.

“I’m not going to hurt you, you know that.” He said as he reached over and took your hand.

“I know that. But it might take time for my dad to see that.” You said.

“I’ll do whatever it takes to prove to him that I’m not like other guys.” He said.

“I know you will.” You said. 

Baron reached up and cupped your cheek with his hand before he leaned in and gave you a quick kiss.

As you pulled away from the kiss your parents slid back into the booth.

“Found my glasses!” Your mom said with a smile.

“Great!” You said.

The waitress then came back to take your food order. You all gave her your order and she left to give it to the kitchen.

“So Baron did you got to college or did you just jump into the wrestling thing?” Your dad asked.

“Yes, sir. I graduated from Northwest Missouri State.” Baron said.

“Bearcat, huh?” Your dad asked.

“Yes sir.” Baron said.

“You join some good alumni. I’m a Bearcat myself. Class of 86.” Your dad said with a smile. It was the first time he had smiled during the dinner.

“You play football?” Your dad asked.

“Yes sir, all four years. I played on a football scholarship and actually was pro for a very short time.” Baron said.

“What position?” Your dad asked.

“Lineman.” Baron said.

“You’d be a good lineman. You’re built like a lineman.” Your dad said.

It seemed like the football conversation finally broke the ice between Baron and your dad. The rest of the dinner went quite smoothly. You were surprised when Baron and your dad spent twenty minutes talking about different rock bands they had seen perform live. You had no idea your dad had been a concert goer when he was younger.

The waitress brought the check to your table. Your dad and Baron both reached for the black folder.

“I’ve got it.” Your dad said.

“I insist sir.” Baron said.

“It’s okay. Y/mom/n and I will take care of it. We invited you out, you’re our guest.” Your dad said.

“With all do respect sir, I’d like to pay for the meal.” Baron said.

Your dad and Baron went back and forth for a few more minutes before your dad finally gave in with a sigh and let Baron pick up the bill.

You and your mom were standing near your car talking when you overheard your dad talking to Baron.

“You’re not a bad kid, Baron.” Your dad said.

“I might not be what you pictured for your daughter, but I promise you that she means the world to me.” He said.

“I know. I can see it. You want to know why I was so hard on you? You remind me of a younger version of myself. That girl is my whole world. She’s my princess. And I just want her to find someone that makes her happy.” Your dad said.

“You have my word that I will do everything I can to make her happy. I’m not perfect. I’m human. But I can tell you that I love her.” Baron said.

“I know. You look at her like I look at her mother, like she’s the sun your world revolves around. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for her.” Your dad said. “I’m sorry if I was hard on you. I just-“

“You don’t need to explain, sir. I understand. If she was my daughter I would do the same thing. I just want thank you for giving me a chance.” Baron said.

“Just promise me something, okay?” Your dad asked.

“Anything.” Baron said.

“Take care of her out there on the road for me. I worry about her being in such a violent profession around all those guys-” Your dad said.

“You have my word, sir.” Baron said as he stuck his hand out to your dad.

“Thank you. Welcome to the family, son.” Your dad said as he shook Baron’s hand and then put his free hand on Baron’s shoulder.

Paradise - Chapter One

A.N. - There is some swearing and medical issues in this chapter. In later chapters there will be smut (Or at least my attempt of it). The main character has a chronic illness, she also was in a motorbike accident. I’m telling you that there might be some emotional triggering parts in the future. (I will warn you before hand if there is). This is your warning. I hope to update every Friday. Any comments are welcome, thank you and enjoy!

Originally posted by gabedonohoe

September 23rd, 2016 - Toronto Pearson International Airport, Toronto, Canada.

Eva P.O.V.


One of the joys of having a disability was getting to board the plane first. Some lovely person pushes you in a wheelchair all the way through the airport, onto the plane and stops by your seat. The air hostess helps pack your personal belongs away, so all you need to do is sit back and relax. Two downsides though, to board early you must get there ahead of the normal boarding time. Also when you travel with a service dog and have bad legs, it’s just easier to upgrade to first class. You and the dog get more room, it just costs you a little more. The only thing I had to worry about now was if anyone sat next to me, I was hoping to get some sleep within the next 7 hours. The flight left Toronto at 4:30 am, it would be sometime around 10 am when we land in London (Yeah I know time zones are shitty). I was hoping the sleep on the plane would be enough to help me stay awake for the rest of the day.

The hostess for this flight was Stacey, who I had flown with many times told me we’d be taking off in ten minutes. No one had sat next to me so far, so I was hoping that I’d have a free seat for the whole flight. I heard Stacey speak to someone, I also heard the number for the seat next to me. There went my dreams of being alone for this flight. I tried to read my book paying no attention to whoever was going to sit next to me. I felt my service dog Ragnar lift his head off my feet. Which was weird as he never normal reacted to strangers.

When I peeped up from my book to see who I was sitting next too, I couldn’t see his face. He was trying to get his carry on in the overhead storage. No matter if your luggage was the correct size, it never fit in the storage properly. With his hands above his head, his black t-shirt had risen slightly showing a sliver of pale skin and a light treasure trail down into his jeans. He was extremely tall. Coming from a 5 foot 10 women, let me tell you, only a select few men have the gift of towering over me.

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The damage:

I had a beef brisket sandwich, tater tots, a twix, and a 2 pack of hostess cupcakes.

I can’t even believe this. I’m so upset with myself. I’m crying as I type this.

Why can’t I ever last 5 days of eating exactly how I want? I know I’m going to wake up at least 2 pounds heavier tomorrow. It’s hot in my room, my thighs and ass just doubled in size since eating that filthy meal.

My stomach hurts so bad.

I want to throw up.

This is why I can never reach a gw, because I’m an absolute fuck up.

I was 12 pounds away from my first gw.

Why the fuck do I always ruin my progress. If I just fell asleep and never woke up again that would be great.


5 times Burt and Kurt were on their own as a family, and 1 time where they weren't

To my patient Anon, sorry this took me so long! This was the second response to my request a few weeks ago for 5 and 1 story prompts. I started writing this one on Easter, so I decided to just use a theme of father and son holidays.  

I also chose to keep the story in Burt’s POV and set the final piece within my Bus Boy AU.  

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Getting in the car to go to the elementary school Christmas program tonight

5yo: Why does this car smell like fresh cupcakes?

Husband and I exchange looks 😒😓while I try not to die😅

Husband: I don’t know…

It smells like cupcakes because husband bought a twin pack of hostess orange cupcakes and left one for me on his way home tonight. I ate it after work. More than an hour before we all got in the car.

first date

this is an extremely silly one-shot, set sometime in that part of season seven where they are definitely sleeping together, whenever you think that happened! apparently my extremely silly stories always feature walter skinner. weird, huh.

first date

Over the past hour, her yawns have grown increasingly more dramatic. It’s not intentional, and it’s definitely not a hint, but after three straight weeks without a day off, Scully is desperate for the weekend.

At eight o’clock, Mulder finally notices. She hasn’t even closed her mouth when he says, “Closing time?”

She nods.

He checks his watch. “Shit,” he says. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to keep you so late.”

“It’s fine.” And it mostly is. She’s still got the whole weekend ahead of her.

Mulder stands up and stretches, then grabs his coat from the back of his chair. “Are you just gonna head home?”

“We could get dinner,” she suggests, zipping up her briefcase.

“Sure. I’ll buy you a half-smoke.”

She grimaces at the thought. “Mulder, when is the last time you ate a vegetable?”

He reaches into his coat pocket and comes up with a sunflower seed. He holds it out to her like it proves a point. “Plant,” he says.

Briefly, Scully closes her eyes. When she opens them again, he’s gnawing at his sunflower seed and grinning at her. She ignores him and says, “There’s that good Thai place in Dupont.”

Mulder shoulders his bag and follows her to the door, his hand hovering at the small of her back. “I’ll call it in on the way. The usual? And can we take it to your place? I don’t think I have any clean plates.”

“I was thinking we could eat at the restaurant.” He looks at her skeptically and she adds, “Like normal people.”

“Since when have we been normal people, Scully?”

“It might be nice.”

“What if someone sees us?”

She rolls her eyes. “Mulder, I’ve eaten dinner with you in public all over the country.”

“Yeah, but in Nebraska no one cares what we do.”

“No one cares what we do here, either. Besides, the District is big enough. It’s not like Skinner is going to show up at that Thai place.”

Surprisingly, he doesn’t put up more of a fight. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” he says, and as she dies of shock, he gives her shoulder a quick squeeze and walks past her, toward the elevator.

“I’m always right,” she mutters under her breath as she follows him down the hall.

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The sun hovered deep in mid sky marking noon. I scanned the abandoned cabin grounds looking for movement within the blackened windows when my stomach growled. I shot my uncooperative bodily timing a disapproving look. It stopped its verbal complaints, but felt no less empty. My thoughts lingered on the half eaten pack of Hostess Cupcakes in the car. I would regret  following up the lead of a Vampires’ nest (therefore putting off lunch) if not for the civilians taken less than 9 hours ago now. I couldn’t, in good consciousness, go enjoy that three piece meal of Country-Fried Chicken and gravy, sauteed green beans, and a warm fluffy biscuit that was proudly displayed in the local dinner three miles back. My stomach added another audible complaint as my mouth began to water. A flash of movement caught my eye. In that instant my thoughts became honed in on one goal. Machete at my side, I crept closer to the outermost cabin. A tear in the dark paper, posted to keep out light, allowed me to scout the inside. Luckily, a total of two vampires occupied this cabin (unless there was one in the small bathroom) and both seemed dead asleep.

Despite the cabin’s disavowed appearance, the front door opened silently. My heavy boots clomped lightly against the wood floor. The first vamp lay on his back in the bottom bunk. The other lay closer to the back of cabin less than five feet away in a single, his back turned to us. I lay the blade on her neck. The cool metal didn’t disturb her. I didn’t think it would. A vampire’s flesh was only as warm as the air around them, much like the blade I wielded. Careful to keep an eye on the other occupant, I pulled back her lip revealing holes along the upper gum line. Yahtzee. My time ran out, her eyes flashed open revealing a beautiful shade of green that matched the pines outside. I bent my wrist down slicing through her neck, but not before a shallow hiss left her mouth. I spun around. The other vamp was beginning to turn to his back. I threw my arm out. Blade sang through the air before catching neck. Blood splat against the wall. Done.

There were three other cabins, two to the right of the cleared cabin and a larger one behind the middle cabin. Strategically speaking, civilians taken and the nest leader were probably located in the back middle cabin. I resolved to knock out the lesser cabins, that way if I failed with the Big Bad, then at least they would have to start the nest over from scratch. The middle cabin had two vamps as well. One was asleep, the other had gotten up for a midday run to the bathroom. Unfortunate, and not the way I personally would prefer to go. I was stalking the south side of the cabin when I heard a thump inside. I ducked down by the stairs leading into the cabin. The window paper was in tact allowing me no visual advantage. The door swung open slamming against the porch railing inches from my nose. A body flew through the air landing hard on a pine needle carpet. A woman stepped out, arms away from her body. She flehmened. I could only see her lips peeling back, but I knew from her stance that she was a vamp. The woman dove forward. The man on the ground reaching for his machete. I rushed from my spot. Everything in my body pulling me back. The stupid choice felt minutely better as my machete hit the mark only catching on the spinal cord for a moment, the blade beginning to dull. The man looked bewildered taking in the vamp’s body falling to either side of a complete stranger.

“Thanks.” He finally said as I extended my hand towards him.

My spine was tight. I hadn’t looked behind me the entire time. Each second of not knowing where an enemy may be was a second of pure reckless danger. The man grabbed his machete on the way to his feet. The blade was slick with blood. He pulled his eyes from it to mine, then they widened. His right arm went up, I froze, his left forearm forcibly moved me to the side as his swing came down. I barely turned in time to see a head thump at my feet. The crack of skull barely audible as the body followed. I exhaled a mite shakily. I hated my hunt being interrupted by unexpected forces. It’s why… no. I glanced at the man.

“Thanks.” I mimicked his earlier word. “Hunter?”

“Yeah.” He nodded at me. “You?”

I nodded.

“Where’s your partner?”

My face twisted automatically and he dropped it.

“Dean?” Another man appeared at the cabin door, a head at his boot and blood on his knife.

“Sam, it’s okay.” Dean pressed his hand against his temple. His eyes blinked furiously against the pain. “S’another hunter.”

Sam glanced at the carnage accepting the scene. He walked over and gave me a nod. Anxious with the wasting time I interrupted any future small talk. I pointed toward the line of cabin.

“I’ve already cleared those cabins. I assume this one is cleared now.” I paused and Sam nodded. “The civilians and family leader are in the last cabin in the back. There were three civilians as of 3:00 this morning…. That I know of.”

Dean nodded. “Right. There’s no telling how many are left.”

He had a point. The last cabin was three times the size of this one.

“Yeah, and you’ve already done most of the work for the others.” Sam added.

It was true even if it was mostly dictated by luck.

“We’d like to give you a hand on finishing this up.”

I nearly smiled, but nodded instead. They were willing to follow Hunter protocol- something that was about 50-50 with most hunters. Perhaps, hunting with a group just one more time wouldn’t be so bad.

New Years Party

TITLE: New Years party


AUTHOR: tomcuddlesfic


GENRE: Comedy / fluff 

FIC SUMMARY:   You’re stuck at a New Years eve party


AUTHORS NOTES/WARNINGS: I’m about 15 minutes late but it’s 2014 here now! Happy new year’s!

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