host feels

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, FROM JIM NEWS AND FRIENDS!

We want to wish everyone and happy and loving Thanksgiving, but if you don’t celebrate then we just wish you the greatest of days, filled with love, peace and harmony!

Dark: Spend time with those who you consider family or are family and shoe each other endless love.

Wilford: That’s what we’ll be doing today!

Max: Stay safe and don’t get sent to my office!

Bim: Be a gracious host! Make people feel welcomed!

Host: I am gracious.

Bim: No, not– y'know what, it’s fine, yes you are!

FRJ: DON’T GET FULL OFF OF JIMBERRY PIE, SAVE SOME ROOM FOR THE JIMKEY

What we really need is an adaptation of the original 1740 The Beauty and the Beast

So were you aware that the The Beauty and the Beast story we all know is a heavily abridged and rewritten version of a much longer novella by Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve?  And that a lot of the plot holes existing in the current versions exist because the 1756 rewrite cut out the second half of the novella, which consisted entirely of the elaborate backstory that explains all the weird shit that happened before?  And that the elaborate backstory is presented in a way that’s kind of boring because the novel had only just been invented in 1740 and no one knew how they worked yet, but contains a bazillion awesome ideas that beg for a modern retelling?  And that you are probably not aware that the modern world needs this story like air but the modern world absolutely needs this story like air?  Allow me to explain:

The totally awesome elaborate backstory that explains Beauty and the Beast

  • Once upon a time there was a king, a queen, and their only son
  • But while the prince was still in his infancy, in a neat reversal of how these fairy tales usually go, the king tragically died, leaving his wife to act as Regent until their son reaches maturity
  • Unfortunately, the rulers of all the lands surrounding them go, “Hmm, the kingdom is ruled by a woman now, it must be weak, time for an invasion!”
  • And the Queen goes, “Well, if I let some general fight all these battles for me, he’ll totally amass enough fame and power to make a bid for the throne; if I want to protect my son’s crown, I have no choice but to take up arms and lead the troops myself!
  • (Btw, I want to stress that this woman is not Eowyn or Boudica and nothing in the way her story is presented suggests that she had any interest martial exploits before or in any way came to enjoy them during these battles.  This is a perfectly ordinary court lady who would much rather be embroidering altar covers for the royal chapel and playing with her child until necessity made her go, “Oh no, this sucks, I guess I have to become a Warrior Queen now” and she just happened to kick ass at it anyway.)
  • And the Queen totally kicked ass, but the whole “twice as good for half the credit” thing meant that no matter how many battles she won, potential enemies refused to take her and her army seriously until she had defeated them so no sooner would she fend off one invasion than another one would pop up on a different border.
  • So she spent the majority of her young son’s life away from the castle leading armies, but it was OK because she left him in the care of her two best friends, who just happen to be fairies!  This was an awesome idea because a) fairies have magic, and therefore are like the best people to protect the prince from any threats and b) fairies consider themselves to be so above humanity that the lowest fairy outranks the highest mortal, so they’d have no interest in taking a human throne.  Good thing they were both good fairies instead of one good and one evil one!
  • (Spoiler:  they were not both good fairies.)
  • So the two fairies basically take turns raising the prince until he’s old enough to rule.  And on the eve of his twenty-first birthday, the evil older one comes into the prince’s bedroom.
  • “So listen, kid.  You’re about to become king, your mother’s on her way home from the war to see you crowned, and I have a third piece of good news for you!  You see, I’ve actually been spending so much time here lately because Fairyland’s become a bit too hot to hold me for reasons totally not related to me being secretly evil.  And if I have to hang in the human world, I might as well reside in the upper echelons of it, so even though as a powerful fairy I completely eclipse your puny human status in a staggeringly unimaginable way, since you’re about to be king and since my premonition that I should stick this whole guardianship thing out because you would be hot one day has totally proved accurate (go me), I will graciously lower myself to allowing you to marry me.  Please feel free to grovel at my feet in gratitude.  (Btw, we can totally start the wedding night now, we’ll tell your mother about it when she arrives tomorrow.)”

Keep reading

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a couple of many pieces i want to draw to show my love of the orbiting human circus (of the air)…if you haven’t started listening yet, season one just finished up recently! it really sings to my heart, i can’t recommend it enough

this might be a stretch buuuut fuck it, i’m so hyped right now.

@kenmarlenn made a post about how markiplier tv came out may 5th, which in mark’s recent instagram post, mark’s caption is just ‘5’, which is also today’s date (october 5th)

so i decided to do a little poking around, checking out each of the other egos’ videos and i noticed the danger in fiction series, which came out february 6th.

(with the 6th of october being tomorrow)

and mark has stated/clarified that the author, who is shown in the danger in fiction series, is the same person/character as the host, who appears in the markiplier tv video. so canonically, he has appeared in both videos. so could we be finally getting a host video?

like i said, it’s a big stretch. but if there’s an off chance that we might see hosty boy again, i will die.

Horror story concept about a someone feeling ‘butterflies in their stomach’ when a certain person is nearby. 

They thought it was 'love’ but it turns out that they’re a host to a kaleidoscope of bloodthirsty parasitic butterfly creatures which are breeding, growing and dying inside them. Because of this, it eventually turns the stomach too narrow for the species to survive, which also gives the host a very sick feeling withing that they cannot reach. The parasites get agitated whenever they smell the blood of their potential new ‘home’ once it’s nearby. Hence, the 'fluttery’ feeling is actually them trying to bust through their host human’s gut to transfer to a new host.

Their species have a tragic life though. Because, once they get strong/numerous enough to get out of the stomach, they end up killing their host and they die from the exposure of open air. The only way for the host (and the parasites) to survive is to transfer their invisible larvae kept in the throat through a kiss with the prey( turning them into a host to a new generation of parasitic butterflies).

eurovision alignments
  • Lawful ballad: Typically kind of boring, but qualifies because you can't NOT vote for it or else you'll look like a jerk. Probably about love. Or peace.
  • Neutral ballad: Trying to be a power ballad but the singer just isn't that good. Maybe about love, but not in a guilt-trippy kind of way. Sounds better in studio.
  • Chaotic ballad: Strong, overly dramatic power ballad. Either the best thing you've ever heard or just way too extra. There is no in between.
  • Lawful schlager: Upbeat and really generic, like it's trying to make sure it qualifies. Probably written by someone from Sweden.
  • Neutral schlager: Passes for a normal pop song, at least mostly. Incredibly radio-friendly. Gets a lot of jury votes.
  • Chaotic schlager: Not quite a joke entry, but could be mistaken for one if you squint. Lots of glitter and exposed skin. Why people think Eurovision is gay.
  • Lawful crazy: The staging and outfits and pretty much everything looks like a fever dream, but the entry still resembles a song. 10/10 would dance to while drunk.
  • Neutral crazy: Any entry that just screams, "hey, we REALLY don't feel like hosting next year." Almost never qualifies. Just as planned.
  • Chaotic crazy: Looks and sounds like a shitpost, because they put serious effort into making sure it looks and sounds like a shitpost. Gets a fuckton of televotes.
Ego theory (unless this just has to do with editing.)

Well, lets all take a look back to when we were introduced to sassbotinator 3000. In the first video, google didn’t… glitch. At all. Breaking the plates was not a glitch, he was causing destruction to get full command from Matthias. But when he came back (2 YEARS LATER) he’s glitching. Glitching the video, glitching himself. … is this Darks doing. He was sitting right next to him. But wait, Dark was around before google showed up? That was on a different channel. Google was safe when he wasn’t on marks channel, and now he’s there and he’s glitching. The same goes for the author/the host. He was safe on cyndago, and now he has moved… the author doesn’t exist, and he’s the host. And those two were on Darks side of the table. SS And Bim trimmer ALSO started on cyndago… but they aren’t affected by dark… They’re affected by WILFORD. Over the top, tv like characters. And they’re the closest to him.

Originally posted by welcometofantasy

anonymous asked:

Do you have more hcs about the host? He's my absolute favorite and I just need more content with him uwu

sure! i’m still working on trying to get used to the fact that he and the author are the same person lol, but here are a few! 💛

  • his bandages fill with blood quite quickly, no matter how many times he may change them.
  • if his s/o or another ego changes it for him, the host immediately covers his eyes so they won’t see. he doesn’t want anyone else to be burdened with his horror.
  • his coat is actually a few sizes too big for him, but he loves how roomy and warm it is.
  • he talks in third person! and always refers to himself as ‘the host’ and he’s quite proud of his title.
  • he always gets so solemn whenever he walks through his library full of the books he’s written over the years. he trails his fingers along the spines and his face falls more and more, just the knowing that he won’t be able to read them anymore lingers.
  • he knows which ones are his favorites, since their pages and spines are worn down the most.
  • he’s afraid to get hair in his face, fearing strands might end up hurting his eye wounds, which is why he tends to go overboard with hair gel.
  • loves sweet tasting things. wilford always recommends him the best types of candies. currently, the hosts favorites are jolly ranchers.
  • surprisingly, the host loves playing bingo.
  • while he was the author, he had a kitten named ‘clause’ (a play on ‘claws’ and ‘clause’ like in grammar). now as the host, the cat is older but the host loves them all the same.
  • the host still has his baseball bat from when he was the author hanging above his fireplace. just in case he needs to whack someone with inspiration.