Oh the continuity on gh. Or lack there of.

First we had liz and franco magically jump from the chapel to the er waiting room in the course of a phone call.

Today we had sam magically go from her own outfit to a hospital gown in the middle of a commercial/conversation.

Self Portrait in recovery.

| After yesterday’s feeding tube change, coming out of sedation. I had to advocate hard, as always. So it is with rare disease. The nurse and doctors did congratulate me when I tried to apologise for any terseness.


I hesitated posting this so many times. I captured this while in the process of getting dressed after my echocardiogram last week.

My first reaction was shame and disgust at my disabled body. I’m very skinny these days… You can see my ribs up and down. I have no bum left, I’ve lost a lot of muscle definition too. And in all the years I was overweight my stomach never looked like THIS.

When I agreed to a feeding tube last year I was told that it should help with most of my gastrointestinal symptoms. For some reason, I at least expected it to help with swelling and bloating. Sadly, I’ve only had a minor reduction in symptoms; mostly, no longer vomiting all the time. I wake up and my stomach is the flattest it’s ever been (as long as I’m on my back but that’s a whole other issue about my abdominal muscles and how they can’t do their job). The moment I flush my feeding tube with water and start my feeds this is what my stomach turns into. It’s swollen 2-3 times its size, it’s disfigured. It is disabled, just like many other parts of me. I’m not ashamed of those parts for being disabled, why am I ashamed of this? It is obviously deeply tied to self image, vanity. But that in turn is deeply tied to what society deems is attractive and beautiful and what people (we) want to look at.

So, here I am, forcing myself AND you to look at my disabled and disfigured stomach. I hope we learn something new together through this. It was not easy for me to share (it took me 9 days), but it feels more important than almost any image I have posted. I am not ashamed to say this took courage.

{please don’t remove my words}

anonymous asked:

I heard you can bring your own robe to a gynecological exam? Is this true?

Absolutely!  You might get some funny looks, but it’s totally okay. 

There is no risk to you using your own gown or staying in your own clothes when you have a pelvic exam.  Some companies even make special hospital gowns for people in labor to wear so that they’re not in the traditional hospital johnny coat:

Find links to buy these hospital gowns here.

You don’t have to ask permission for simple things like this.  Let the provider know what you’ll be doing, get yourself comfortable, and then if they have an issue, ask them, “Is what I’m doing going to compromise the exam in some way?”  You’ll find that a lot of providers are perfectly happy to step outside of the norm, they’re just so used to doing things the way they’ve been taught that they forget sometimes they can.  

HospitalGlam :; errors in framing. I like it anyway. Letting go of perfection has personally been my biggest obstacle with disability. It’s also been one of my greatest learning moments… To learn that absolutely nothing will go exactly as planned, or even expected.

That to seek perfection is to seek out futility. ///

PT this morning. At this point I’m only going for osteopathic management. Hopefully after I recover from surgery I can get back to strengthening.