Help some kids in the hospital by sponsoring this nerd for Extra-Life

I am raising money for a childrens hospital near and dear to my heart, Rainbow Babies and Childrens Hospital, by playing video games for 24 hours straight around November 11th. I know some of the patients there from when I volunteered at that hospital for 2 years, with over 600 hours of volunteering. I love those kids so much and since I am unable to volunteer now because of distance and no way to get there, this is the only way I can still help them out!! 

It would mean the world to me, and the kids there if ya consider donating! Any amount helps! ♥ and reblogs too!

You can sponsor me here! 

Thanks so much! ♥


The first time I had to prep a colonoscopy I was 16, away at boarding school, and had been really, really sick for a full month without seeking help of any kind. I thought I had a stomach bug, and by the time I’d ruled that out the embarrassment over having terrible diarrhea constantly for weeks had set in and I didn’t want to talk about it with anyone. By the time I went to the infirmary and talked to a doctor, I had lost twenty pounds and was so anemic I couldn’t stand up for longer than ten minutes at a time. Needless to say they wanted to scope me more or less immediately.

For anyone with no friends or relations over fifty, prepping a colonoscopy involves drinking 64 oz of laxatives mixed with Gatorade over the course of an afternoon, until you shit clear. The first time I did it, I did it alone in a boarding school infirmary. Every ten minutes a nurse came by and handed me a glass of nasty, and then left. I didn’t speak to anyone the whole time, but I cried more or less throughout. I still cry whenever I think about it– 16 years old, terribly weak, terribly ill, with no diagnosis and no idea what was wrong with me, sitting alone in a creaky bed, chugging Gatorade and laxatives and trying not to throw up. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt as miserable or terrified. I woke up from the procedure and was immediately told I was being admitted to the hospital. I was a decimal point away from needing a blood transfusion. The worst years of my life were beginning.

In those four years since then I’ve done it twice more. It’s been easier, obviously, than it was when I did it totally alone, but it’s an intensely physically grueling and uncomfortable–painful even– experience regardless and every time I have to do it i feel sixteen and terrified again.

I talk about being chronically ill a lot, but I only talk about a tiny fraction of my illness because like everyone with Crohns or Colitis, my disease is not only debilitating and life altering, it’s entirely socially unacceptable. My symptoms don’t just rule me physically, they shame me deeply. I hide the shit my body puts me through from nearly everyone I know.

I’m getting another goddamn colonoscopy on Monday and I’m dreading tomorrow’s prep more than I could possibly say. And yet when I talk to peers and friends about why I went home this weekend, why I’m missing class on Monday, I lie, I bullshit, I omit. I have needed support, as I prepare to not only go through some deeply uncomfortable nonsense but also relive one of the lowest points of my life, and I haven’t asked for it, because colonoscopies are icky.

Anyway, I just posted these snapchats to my story, which, short of Facebook, is about as public as I get, so. Go me. If you see something funny or distracting on your dash tomorrow reblog it for me cause I’m gonna need it.

Robert Frederick Hoke - Confederate Major General 

He was present at one of the earliest battles, Big Bethel, where he was commended for coolness and judgment. Wounded at Chancellorsville, he recovered in time for the defense of Petersburg and Richmond, when his brigade distinguished itself at Cold Harbor (June 1864), acknowledged by Grant as his most costly defeat. Hoke was later a businessman and railroad executive. 

  • His son Michael Hoke became a famous orthopedist in Atlanta, and a founder of the Shriner’s Children Hospital.

@ the Hospital ||Bram
  • After the shooting; late Tuesday night[The Conversation with Bram continues]
  • Sam:wasn't surprised that Winston was snapping at him. But as much as he was trying hard to stay respect, it was getting even harder to keep his cool. Especially when people were throw the fact that he is an alcoholic in his face. He knew what he did, he didn't need anyone throwing in his face. Especially someone who has hurt Mercedes as well. He was just tired of being everyone's punching bag tonight. "I'm sorry.. I wasn't implying anything.. and I'm sorry if we all can't be perfect like you." he snapped, taking a deep breath at Chris suggestion. He nodded his head at Brittany's suggestion, taking one last look at Winston before leaving with Brittany. He wrapped his arms around Brittany as they walk "No.. I'm not.. I wish Mercedes would come out of her room and say "Ha! Fool you".... I would be mad but at least she would okay" he whispered softly. He sadly looked over at Brittany when she spoke, he knew that Brittany blamed her self for all of this especially Killing Stephanie. "Hey... stop that okay.." he said turning to face her once they got to the door. "Mercedes wouldn't want you to blame yourself... because it's not your fault.. you didn't make Stephanie crazy... you didn't tell her to cheat on Chris.. she did all of this..." he said seeing more of Brittany's tears running down her face. He could tell that she was going to have a hard time dealing with the fact that she shot Stephanie, just from the way she was acting "If you ever wanna talk... or just cry.. you know you can count on me tinkerbell" he smiled sadly pulling her into a hug. "It's going to be okay" he whispered in her ear.

also update bc i cant remember if i already said this or not but
i got out of the hospital friday evening and ive been at home taking my new meds n stuff and checking my pulse rate every so often

basically doctors think i have hyperthyroidism but its pretty treatable so i should be ok??? ive been feeling ok but mostly it just means i have an abnormally high heart rate and u can kinda imagine what problems tht brings