horse walking

I saw the greatest thing today.  So I’m at a stoplight in the passenger seat, right?  And I hear hoofbeats nearby.  I look over and there’s a lady walking her horse. We’re close enough to be in talking distance and this horse is incredibly happy.  Her ears are pricked forward and she’s JUST SO DELIGHTED TO SEE EVERYTHING.

“I like your big dog!” I said.

“Thanks!  She’s an asshole!” she said, and the horse headbutted her so hard she staggered. SHE JUST LOVES THIS HORSE SO MUCH, GUYS, she laughed and patted her nose.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “you’re in here alot, are you an alcoholic?”

The horse ponders for a minute and responds “I don’t think I am”
And poof he disappears

This is where philosophy students start to snicker, as they are familiar with Descartes postulate, “I think, therefore I am.”

But telling you that first would be putting Descartes before the horse

Zodiac Signs in general

(Check your sun sign [DOB] and/or ascendant/rising sign)

Aries: Very chill, impulsive in decision making, dislikes restrictions; whether in personal space, relationships/friendships, loves tomatoes and anything spicy, enjoys eating and being free, their vocal range is powerful, medium to large sized lips.

Taurus: Not agressive but forceful, has good taste in outfit picking and food dishes and everything else in aesthetic, dislikes people without common sense, loves material possesions, loves gifts, very nice voice or distinct tone of voice, does not learn at the pace of others, prefers their own rhythm of doing things, vocal range is second highest to that of Virgo, sensual lips and throat is prominent

Gemini: likes sparkly things, very vocal, can burn your ass with their word phrasing, likes to talk for hours, enjoys reading books, magazines and anything informative, likes to work or do something with their hands, needs mental stimulation instead of physical stimulation, adapts easily to immediate environment, hates being pinned down, has an instinct to detect bullshit, can easily deceive making it real, their vocal range is scattered, uncontrolled vibrato, hands/arms are prominent

Cancer: very sensitive people, likes to cook, they consider themselves chefs, LOVES music, full-round faces, talks about emotions, most likely to cry during sad or touching movie trailers, home is their secure base, attached or close to mother and women figures, soft but firm vocal range, chest is a prominent feature

Leo: Confident, leader in anything, hair and eyebrow are their prominent features, may have ‘Lion’ characteristics, very theatrical, loves to be praised and be the center of attention, other people are their ‘servants’, stands out immediately, strong vocal range

Virgo: very musical, loves analytical things, detail-oriented, very high vocal range, strives for perfection, fussy at home regarding cleaning, detective stuff is interesting, clean image, stomach is noticeable as their feature

Libra: wants to get along with others, since Libra and Taurus are both ruled by Venus, Libra too has a pleasing aesthetic, attractive, gives beauty to anything it touches, you can’t hate this sign no matter what they do ‘cause they do it well, anything fits this sign, dresses well, sexy but not vulgar, very artistic, likes fashion, makeup, needs a partner or wants to be with someone committed, face looks pleasing

Scorpio: magnetic personality, you hurt a scorpio and hell breaks loose and you get stung, powerful and demanding voice, prefers dark shades of color, sex is their thing, very passionate, demands the same attention it gives, penetrating stare, motherfucking sexy as f’, smells bullshit from a mile away, their sexual organs are a prominent feature

Sagittarius: ‘foot-in-the-mouth-disease, blunt, says things like they are, very nice legs or well-formed legs, likes to be physically and mentally stimulated to be happy, prominent smile, walks like a horse (or their walk is like a ‘trot’), red/orange, purple and other warm color hues are their thing, loves music, straightforward, very direct voice.

Capricorn - disciplined, endures good and bad shit, likes to stand out in public, fame is what they strive for, most likely to be in the public eye, there’s always something recognizable about the sign, thin appearance, the elderly are important to them, success is always sure for them, executive look, chiseled chins and knows what’s up, shins and knees are what they deal with the most

Aquarius: very fucking original, a feature always stands out, eccentric, electric, very strong personality, visionary, sets trends in anything you can think of, musical prodigy, technology is their thing, needs mental stimulation, intellectual, calf (leg) are their noticeable body part

Pisces: a very sensitive snowflake, is liked by everyone, green/blue colors fit them, ‘mermaid’ look, breathes music, any look fits them due to their ability to fit like water in a cup, extremely musical, possesses all the qualities from the rest of the zodiac signs since it’s the last sign, silky hair, well-shaped feet, big eyes

Here’s a sneek peek from the beginning of the Warrior story. You can see her war painting and it’s meaning will be explained in the book. I was always admiring paintings from Carravaggio and Artemisia Gentileschi especially “Judith beheading Holofernes” which was the main inspiration for this piece.

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Winter in Marbarch (x)