horror movie villains

horror movie opening scene
  • white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
  • white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
  • white girl: you're just trying to scare me.
  • white boy: lmao
  • they continue walking for a few seconds
  • *white couple hears noise*
  • white girl: babe what that??
  • white boy: i'll go investigate
  • *leaves her alone*
  • *choking noises*
  • white girl: zack!!!
  • white boy: ha ha just kidding!
  • white girl: asshole!
  • white boy: im just playin babe
  • white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute
  • *playful kiss*
  • *things turn sexy*
  • *hear noise*
  • white boy: i'll go investigate
  • *he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
  • *maybe a thud*
  • white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
  • *she walks and he dead*
  • white girl: ahhh!!
  • *killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
  • white girl: ahhh!!!
  • *white girl runs*
  • *dead end*
  • *hides*
  • *thinks she free n safe*
  • *guy catches her*
  • *cuts her*
  • *she dead*
  • opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D

at least once a day at work i’m minding my own business, scanning stuff, bagging it, making small talk with customers, and then i see it

coming towards me like a horror movie villain at .2 miles per hour on the conveyor belt

and then i have to keep a straight face while this motherfucker stares into my soul

spooky asks

ghost - have you ever had a supernatural experience? If so, describe it.

candy corn - what’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?

werewolf - what frightened you as a child that is not scary now?

jack-o-lantern - have you ever been to a haunted house? What was it like?

October - “Frankenstein” or “Dracula”?

poltergeist - what’s your favourite candy?

graveyard - what is the strangest dream that you can remember having?

black cat - do you believe in UFOs?

cauldron - unicorns or mermaids?

skeleton - what Hogwarts house do you belong to?

midnight - have you ever lived in what you believed to be a haunted house? 

Transylvania - do you believe that people can be psychic?

coffin - do you read Creepypastas? If so, which is your favourite?

phantom - who is your favourite horror movie villain?

pumpkin pie - what is the craziest conversation that you’ve overheard?

fog - a style of clothing that you don’t wear but you wish you could pull off?

masquerade - do you consider yourself to be brave?

vampire - pretend you’re in a slasher film- how long do you think you’d last?

spider - what’s your dream Halloween costume?

broomstick - what’s your least favourite book to movie adaptation?

scarecrow - what’s the scariest place you’ve ever visited?

zombie - what current trend makes no sense to you?

hayride - do you think humans will ever make contact with aliens?

a concept: rather than continue to pick horror movie monsters and villains to associate with lgbt people, specifically gay men, we just have the babadook as a joke bc of the netflix glitch, and we move on.

horror movie villains are all awful and disgusting and demonic, on purpose obviously, and it’s almost boring how homophobic and transphobic this can quickly become if we continue to compare lgbt people to them. like not to suck the fun out of this, but god it’s just going to get really bad really fast.