horrible dialog

Supernatural Season 9, Your Sex Scenes Are Bad And You Should Feel Bad

Supernatural Season Nine, so far you’ve had three sex scenes, and they’ve all been terrible. And I’m not talking about the way they were filmed or the dialog(although those were bad too), I’m talking about how they have all had serious consent issues or were just plain rape, and how the show fails to recognize this. SPN’s issues with consent aren’t new, but I am not alone in my impression that it’s gotten excessively and irresponsibly bad this season.

The Characters Who Have Been Involved With Sex Scenes, And Why Those Scenes Were Bad:

  • April Kelly: rape (possessed by a Reaper, could not consent to sex)
  • Castiel: rape (deliberately coerced consent/survival sex/manipulated into being the unwitting accomplice to rape)
  • Lola: rape (the human woman she is possessing cannot consent)
  • Crowley: rape (assuming that moderately successful literary agent is still in there, he cannot consent)
  • Suzy: victim of sketchy/creepy and predatory sexual behavior (Dean hunted her down and pestered her for sex, despite her stated desires not to have any)
  • Dean: sketchy/creepy and predatory sexual behavior (Dean has always sought enthusiastic consent, he’s never really ‘hunted’ a woman like this before, he was predatory and aggressive in a way that was not okay, he ignored Suzy’s stated desires not to have casual sex, and followed her home under false pretenses, he went for the sole purpose of finding a way to get sex out of her, ignored her emotional state, prodded Suzy into a bad decision, it was a disgusting and objectifying treatment of sex workers, Suzy was just reduced to an item on a bucket list, her entire worth was how good she was at the racist porn she wanted no part of anymore, and the narrative laughs at it all)

And at NO POINT anywhere in the narrative is this behavior called out or portrayed as bad thing, it’s either ignored or normalized and laughed at (April/Cas was in fact brought up for no real reason several episodes after it happened, just to laugh at it again, haha, rape). And at NO POINT do any of the writers make any comments suggesting that any of these encounters were wrong/bad, in fact one writer actually admitted that 'nonconsensual’ was not their intention.

“But that’s the theme of the season is consent issues! So of course there has to be nonconsensual sex all the time!”

THAT IS NOT HOW THEMES WORK. You can’t just throw a bunch of something in your show and call it a theme. Especially not for something like consent. You can’t just rape a bunch of people in a work of fiction, not deal with it in any way (and in fact, normalize it in the narrative) and then defend it by going “Oh no, you see, our theme was consent.” Even if it’s a society that sanctions rape, it still has to be dealt with. You want to be more like The Handmaid’s Tale, not The Chronicles of Gor.

(Don’t Google The Chronicles of Gor, unless you want to temporarily lose all faith in humanity.)

Besides, that theory is debunked by the writer’s own behavior and statements. If those encounters were supposed to have consent issues, why would no writers mention this, and why would one of them actually say the noncon nature was unintentional? If they were supposed to have consent issues, why did they repeatedly write 'humorous’ scenes where TFW talked about the encounters, why did they have Castiel call the woman he was tricked into raping 'hot’?

And, as I said, that’s not how themes work. If they genuinely had a theme involving the nature of consent, and wrote those scenes intentionally as violating consent, why did they not deal with this violation in canon? Am I just supposed to sit and wait and hope they eventually get around to it?

In addition to all the gross consent issues, the scenes themselves have just been BAD. The dialog is horrible, there is no tension or build-up, the audience doesn’t actually care, they are about as far from erotic as you can get and still be on this mortal plane, and Dean and Cas are so far out of character it’s laughable. And, no pun intended, they are so anti-climatic. Cas is having sex for the first time, Cas who is not great with the finer details of social interaction, who can be awkward and blunt, but his sex is the kind of Ridiculously Idealized Movie Sex (complete with fire hazard candles the fucking REAPER had to pause the coitus to go light). The show itself made a big freaking deal about the Big Feathery Virginity and that’s how they chose to resolve it? WHY? Dean himself was on a very long dry spell (in fact, his last previous known encounter was the one with the Amazons, which was a problematic encounter itself, what with the whole “This sex will kill you, you just don’t know it yet” thing), and he ends it by stalking down a target, trying really hard to seduce her, ignoring her emotional state, ignoring her previously stated desire not to have casual sex, bringing up the past she doesn’t want to talk about, ignoring the actual case he’s on, and basically acting like Quagmire from Family Guy. Again, WHY?

(“But Dean’s always liked sex.” SO? Plenty of people like sex, but that doesn’t mean they act like Quagmire. Liking sex and liking enthusiastic consent are not and never should be mutually exclusive. Liking sex doesn’t mean you like any kind of sex. This is a really gross, dangerous, and offensive message.)

Also, what was with the Fade To Black/PG-rated scenes? Not that I wanted any of those scenes to be more graphic than they were, but SPN has had some really rather hot, and decidedly more graphic, sex scenes in the past (Dean/Anna, Dean/Cassie, Sam/Madison, etc). Both Cas and Dean have the camera pan away after the first kiss, and with Crowley/Lola, we see them flop down (fully dressed) after it’s done. What’s with the ABC Family sex scenes? Again, I really didn’t want any of these scenes to have more in them, but I recognize that there is a difference between the way the sex was shown in S9, compared to previous seasons. And it makes me wonder why.

And I could not help but notice a very curious…directing choice for both Cas and Dean’s sex scenes, that after the camera cuts away from the first kiss, it immediately cuts to a scream of pain and somebody being tortured. Which believe me, was exactly how I felt at the time, but I don’t get why SPN is doing it. I would consider that i was perhaps foreshadowing something dire (like…Dean and Cas are actually trapped in Metatron’s terrible fanfic, and are being forced to act out his terrible dialog and scenes, and dude doesn’t tag his noncon), but, as I’ve already said, there’s no indication that the writers who wrote them understood the consent issues in these scenes, that these encounters were anything other than normalized rape culture bullshit. Robbie Thompson would have to be lying about the noncon nature being unintentional, all the writers would have to be involved in a misinformation campaign, Carver and Singer would have to have decided that it would be a great idea to piss off their audience for a year and hope they stick around (which is an inadvisable theme), and all these people would have to be perfectly happy to trigger and offend and upset people by normalizing rape because they know they’re gonna go “PSYCH!” at the end of the season, because that will make everything okay. Somehow I seriously doubt this is what they’re doing.

(I mean, I’d prefer that to be the case, I wish that Dean has actually been trapped in his very own Ghouls and Cheerleaders mental playpen, or some deception of Crowley’s like Kevin was, because it might salvage the season somewhat, but if wishes were horses, there’d be a lot of shit to clean up.)

The entire way this season has handled sex has been problematic, offensive, and at times really bizarre. Why do they have such an aversion to enthusiastic consent? Why has Sam not even had one mildly flirty moment with anyone? How were these scenes approved? Did nobody else catch the problematic nature of them, or were they just not listened to?

Supernatural Season Nine, your sex scenes are bad, and you should feel bad.

Exo Reactions To You Walking Funny The Morning After Rough Sexy Time

I’ve been waiting to do this for so long, & I finally got the request~ It actually turned out kind of awful, I’m sorry! Please mainly just look at the gifs because I did a horrible job on the dialoge. I don’t know what’s wrong with me :P xo

/I do not own any gifs unless stated otherwise/


Baekhyun: *really feels bad & gets a little bit shy but feels slightly accomplished with his own performance*

Chanyeol: “Oh my god, did I do that? Oops.” *acting innocent & is actually a little bit surprised with himself*

Chen: *laughs forever, entertained by the idea that his dick is the reason why you can’t walk straight*”That’s my boy.”

D.O.: “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to do that…” *instantly feels bad, apologizes non-stop*

Kai: *laughs &  tries to not seem satisfied, even though he really kind of is* “I’m sorry. I didn’t know I got that rough.”

Kris: *looks you right in the eye, makes a smug face & then nods way too confidently* “You’re welcome.” 

Lay: “What’s wrong? What happened? Are you okay? Do you need a massage? I can massage you.”

Luhan: *doesn’t try to hide the fact that he’s pleased with himself & you can tell that he’s really enjoying it*

Sehun: *slightly tries to cover up the fact that he’s very proud but whispers yehet to himself when he thinks you can’t hear*

Suho: “Jagi, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” *feels so bad that he almost starts crying*

Tao: *you think he might be a little upset about it until he walks away with a smirk & smacks your ass as hard as he can* 

Xiumin: “Let me know when you’re ready for part two, okay?” *winks like a little shit*

I saw the 50 Shades movie and I'm glad I did

I’m trying to think about what my reaction to this movie would be if I hadn’t spent the last three years answering the question “Why don’t you like this book?” in the most pedantic way possible. And I don’t even know anymore. So I can’t tell you what this movie is like, only what this movie is like after wading through ELJames’ lackluster prose for longer than Ana and Christian’s entire recorded relationship. So I’m pretty sure this movie is still bad. But I’m not comparing it to other movies; I’m comparing it to what I read every week on this blog.

I think I kind of liked it? Or at least I hated it less than I thought I would, which is the closest ELJames lets me come to a positive emotion. Let me back up. My expectations, they weren’t high:

Everyone else in the theater seemed to be there for Legitimate Purposes, which was too bad, because I was laughing inappropriately a lot. Sorry anyone in Theater 8 at 7:50 whose Romantic Evening I ruined by cackling through a lot of Christian’s lines. But come on, I’m pretty sure we can all agree that “ANA, I’M FIFTY SHADES OF FUCKED UP” is a joke.

Actually, one of the things I liked about this movie is that they changed most of ELJames’ horrible dialog, and the times they quoted her directly, they did so while kind of laughing, like “haha, we are joking, no human actually sounds like this.” Plus, a lot of the things I laugh about the most were edited out. Ana wasn’t my grandma: she totally had a computer! It was just broken. No one used a Blackberry. No one said “mean machine”, “double crap”, or “jeez”. Sadly, no animated inner goddess appeared at the bottom of the screen in Lizzie McGuire fashion. I’m happy and sad about it at the same time.

I’m happiest about how much agency they gave Ana! It was like watching a completely different character. Instead of noodleing around and obeying Christian without question because “oh gee I guess this is how men are and I deserve being treated this way against my will”, Movie!Ana totally called him on his bullshit! Repeatedly! In fact, multiple times I’m pretty sure Movie!Ana was making fun of him. Or possibly this movie. Maybe this movie was making fun of this book. Although it’s possible that I’m too far down the poorly-written rabbit hole.

Anyway, the best part was the end. After Christian agrees to show Ana “the worst it can be” and beats her with a belt, she doesn’t just cry and collapse into a puddle of “MY LIFE IS OVER NOW” passivity. She tells him:

–“Don’t fucking touch me.”

–“Don’t you dare come near me.”


The movie ended on her shouting NO at him, and I loved it. I know how the sequel begins. I know this isn’t the end. But just… in my heart, I’m going to leave it here. With Ana standing up to Christian, telling him exactly what she doesn’t want instead of just letting him do it to her anyway. She doesn’t just get away from him; she makes him get away from her, and, as someone who has lived with this passive noodle of a woman for three years now, finally seeing some iteration of her with a backbone is so fucking beautiful goddamn.

I think TO’s issue is that it’s too dark.

Perhaps if they turned on some lights, viewers could actually see the horrified faces of the cast as they attempt to spew out the horrible dialog without vomiting all over the set.