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The Zodiac Signs with a Crush

Asks the person out: Aries, Sagittarius, Capricorn

Tries to subtly drop hints to make the other person like them/ask them out: Gemini, Leo, Libra, Scorpio, Aquarius, Pisces

Confesses only when they know they won’t see the person for a long time so there’s no real confrontation or awkwardness/avoids them forever: Taurus, Cancer, Virgo

The Signs as Boyfriends:

Aries: Generally high maintenance. Needs lots of energy and attention. No bones. Supported by sacs of helium. Explosive when ignited.

Taurus: Quiet and clingy. Just wants to be by your side. Pays for things without asking. Extremely high resistance to radiation. Glows blue in the dark due to intense cobalt saturation. 

Gemini: Moody and impulsive. Lots of adventures! Long phone calls. Makes you laugh. Bone structure fluctuates with the phases of the moon. 

Cancer: Buys you coffee every morning. Protects you from the world. Buried out by the train tracks.

Leo: Playful, but a bit of a brat. Accepts dominance but only after a bit of teasing. Concerned about your safety. Old radio circuitry implanted in their skull. Spends their spare time frantically writing down incomprehensible transmissions. Embarrassed by this. 

Virgo: Empathetic and touchy. Always wants to hold your hand. Big sweaters and rainy days. Largest predatory mammal in north america. 

Libra: Talkative, funny and sassy. Saves up to take you on weird dates to interesting places. A bit to competitive for their own good. Old jackets and beanies to cover the colony of mycellium that runs along their skin. 

Scorpio: Clumsy and caring in the most endearing way. Modest but heartfelt gifts that really mean something to you. Fiercely protective. Black market weapons dealer. Holds you. Enjoys being held in turn. 

Ophiuchus: Mysterious past. Covered in unnatural burns. Odd inhuman eyes constantly scanning the horizon. Hates the sound of beating wings. 

Sagittarius: Really fuckin cool. Popular but treats it like its nothing. Secretly likes the attention. Eyes only for you. Busy, but somehow takes time out of their schedule for you. No eyelids. Barbed, prehensile tongue.

Capricorn: Solitary and thoughtful. Loves deeply but never the best at showing it. Enjoys just spending time with you in silence. An introvert to the end. Poor eyesight, tracks your movement with an electrosensory organ. 

Aquarius: Voracious learner. Texts first. Makes plans without exactly telling you every time. Bit of a hassle but always a fun time. Requires a new host every six months or so.

Pisces: Artistic and a bit of a weirdo in the best kind of way. Dangerously lovable. A bit clueless. Extremely affectionate. Likes it when you’re rough with him. Cannot leave the ancestral territories for more than a few days at a time. 

The Signs As Types of Kisses 2

little, hesitant, you know you shouldn’t be kissing but you can’t stop: Taurus, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Aquarius

the breakup kiss, emotionless, replaces million words you want to tell each other: Aries, Cancer, Leo, Virgo

one side kiss, empty, leaves you heartbroken and alone: Gemini, Libra, Capricorn, Pisces

The Signs as Try Guys Videos
  • Aries : The Try Guys Try Driving Distracted
  • Taurus : The Try Guys Become Groomsmen For Keith's Wedding
  • Gemini : The Try Guys Drunk Fast Food Test
  • Cancer : The Try Guys Raise Robot Babies
  • Leo : The Try Guys Bake Bread Without A Recipe
  • Virgo : The Try Guys Test Who Is The Most Attractive
  • Libra : The Try Guys Try Drag For The First Time
  • Scorpio : The Try Guys Take A Lie Detector Test
  • Sagitarrius : The Try Guys Prank Each Other
  • Capricorn : The Try Guys Imitate Each Other
  • Aquarius : The Try Guys Try Pregnancy Bellies
  • Pisces : The Try Guys Try Not To Die At Sea
The signs when caught doing something they shouldn't
  • *runs the fuck out of there*: Sagittarius, Leo, Pisces
  • *stops doing thing and acts like nothing happened*: Gemini, Scorpio, Capricorn
  • "sorry sorry sorry sorry sorRY SORRY": Taurus , Cancer, Aquarius
  • *points* "THEY DID IT": Libra, Aries, Virgo
The Rising Signs as Idioms

Aries– “In the heat of the moment”

Taurus– “Hit the hay”

Gemini–  “It takes two to tango”

Cancer– “Crying over split milk”

Leo– “Actions speak louder than words”

Virgo– “Make a long story short”

Libra– “Caught between two stools”

Scorpio– “Drastic times call for drastic measures”

Sagittarius– “Elvis has left the building”(he was a sag risng btw)

Capricorn– “Costs an arm and a leg”

Aquarius– “Best thing since sliced bread”

Pisces– “Give the benefit of a doubt”

The Zodiac Signs and Passions

Has one main interest: Aries, Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, Aquarius

Has many different interests but no major one/moves on quickly from favorites: Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Pisces

The signs as writers
  • Writes non-stop but doesn't share it with anyone: Scorpio, Capricorn, Leo
  • Writes like 5 chapters then gives up: Aries, Gemini, Aquarius
  • Writes like 9 books in 10 days: Taurus, Virgo, Sagittarius
  • In a constant state of writer's block: Cancer, Libra, Pisces

Tarotscopes 1/1—1/7

Aries: Visionary (knight) of Wands

After enduring the five of pentacles last week, the knight appears to remove obstacles in your path and speed things up! This week, the changes you’ve been needing to make are finally possible, so hurry up and act on them if you want to move forward!! This is a week to take risks, to change, to adventure.

Taurus: The Star

If things have been difficult recently, the star appears to put an end to all that. The star reminds us that even in our darkest moments, there’s always a glimmer of hope, and if we nurture that hope, it will grow and spread to all parts of your life. The star signals an end to bad times, feeling rejuvenated, reborn, and moving on from bad situations. It also signals amazing opportunities coming your way this week; allow your light to shine brightly and take you to where you’re meant to be.

Gemini: Strength

You must be both the lion and the maiden this week. You can win, you can overcome, but not with raw strength alone. You need to balance both the gentle, quiet strength of the maiden, with the raw, loud, violent strength of the lion. Be patient, be persistent, be courageous…be consistent in your thoughts and actions. Develop and refine your raw ideas into something more.

Cancer: The Hanged Man

Stasis. You’re probably feeling stuck right now, that nothing is moving forward (or at least not as fast as you would like it to) Right now is not the time to make any important decisions. If you fight this period, it will only make things harder on you. Conserve your energy and only react to the actions of others. Everything will evolve at it’s own pace, use this period to work on your perspective…who knows, maybe you need a change in your own perspective to move forward.

Leo: Four of Wands

You’re reaching that state where what you’ve been working on has neared completion and you finally get to reap the rewards. The four appears to let you know that all your work is about to pay off. All around you this week will be calm and uplifting, allowing yourself and those around you to reach new limits and finally celebrate your labors!!  Now is a time to be grateful. Make sure to acknowledge and give thanks to those that have helped you along the way. Enjoy what life has to offer.

Virgo: The Devil

You’ve enslaved yourself to this ideal, to this relationship, to this thing thats demanding to much out of you. Though things may have started on a high note, or felt good, you’re finally taking those rose colored glasses off and seeing the honest truth of the matter. It’s destructive, and you need to get out of it, you need to break free of the control, resist the temptation, and choose yourself. This isn’t worth trying to fix. Talking it out will get you nowhere, it won’t heal. You need to walk away, to escape the best way you can. No matter what your mind says no matter what the others say you need to get yourself out and away, and never look back. Break the addiction.

Libra: Architect (king) of Wands

Lead your life with intent. The king is goal oriented, he knows how to take a plan and fully execute it. The king wants you, Libra, to stick to whatever you’ve got planned out and give it your all.  The King of Wands also suggests that an opportunity is presenting itself to you, and you now have the power to accept the opportunity and take on the challenge. Now is the time for action with intent, Libra. Get your notebook, make your checklist, and make it happen. The time to act is NOW.

Scorpio: Lady (queen) of Swords

Be determined and stand strong. The queen is single minded, highly ambitious, she can quickly assess all aspects of a situation to get to the truth. The queen advises using logic, cool wit, and perception to deal with difficult situations. She’s come to tell you than in all your situations this week, you need to keep your cool. You must remain unbiased, and react logically, allowing your emotions and perceptions to rule you this week will only distract you and hold you back from getting done what needs to be done. Consider the way you communicate as well, is it clear? Are you good at expressing your thoughts and ideas? Work on it.

Sagittarius: Six of Pentacles

Generosity is the keyword when the six appears. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask! There are plenty of people around you willing to help you! If you aren’t in need, you may find yourself helping others along their path, whether it’s with money or some other form of support. The six of pentacles lets you know that success and happiness are coming your way, and balance is being restored.

Capricorn: Seven of Swords

Keep your eyes open. The seven of swords represents the theft of concepts and ideas. Someone around you is trying to steal from you (metaphorically or literally) or manipulate you for their own means. Generally, the seven of swords says it’s not time to let others know what you’re working on yet…but it can also represent you manipulating/stealing from others, thought you might not even realize the extent to which you do this. It’s time to be aware of yourself and others.

Aquarius: Father (king) of Pentacles

The king usually shows up to let you know all your hard work is about to pay off. You’ve reached the final stages of your task and you can finally reap the rewards. Continue down the path you’ve made for yourself, there’s no need to try to experiment with anything new yet, you know what works for you—and it’s certainly working for you. You can find yourself enjoying time with family and friends this week, probably going to at least a few parties…try not to overdue it, but, you know your limits better than I do.

Pisces: Three of Swords

The three of swords is always hard to swallow when it appears…this week you will be confronted with harsh truths, loss, grief, and sorrow…but through this you can experience healing and peace. The three can bring the end of a relationship, friendship, or even just the crushing wait of reality. But whatever it is that’s hurting you this week, don’t run from it. Confront it. The only way you’ll ever be able to heal and move forward is through embracing the pain and letting go. Your tears are a healing ritual that cleanses you for new beginnings.

The Signs Acting Natural
  • "Quick! Act natural!": Scorpio, Cancer
  • Actually acts normal: Taurus, Leo
  • Hides: Libra, Capricorn
  • Jumps into the nearest trash can: Aquarius, Gemini
  • Disappears: Aries, Pisces
  • Evaporates: Virgo, Sagittarius
The signs in Maths Class
  • "Yes Sir!": Capricorn, Leo, Virgo
  • Quietly doing the work in their own time, headphones in, ignoring outside world: Taurus, Scorpio, Libra
  • Literally doing anything but maths; reading a book, eating, pushing people off chairs: Cancer, Aries, Pisces
  • Didn't turn up: Gemini, Aquarius, Sagittarius