hopping a fence

I want to write an alternative version of Romeo and Juliet where instead of being a little ponce and trying to work things out for himself, Romeo asks his smarter friends what to do about the whole thing and Benvolio and Mercutio come up with the world’s greatest plan:

Marriage of convenience between Juliet and Mercutio.

Think about it.

Juliet’s parents want her to marry into the Prince’s family. Mercutio is a good compromise between no marriage and Paris.

Mercutio probably won’t get his inheritance if he keeps being HELLA FUCKING GAY ALL OVER THE PLACE so a beard is only a benefit to him.

They would probably get along great rolling their eyes at how adorably stupid Romeo is.

Romeo and Benvolio could get a “bachelor pad” right next to Juliet and Mercutio’s house. Every night, Romeo and Mercutio high five as they hop the fence to go bang their one true love.

The second half of the play is just all of them trying to keep up the charade and being “THIS CLOSE” to getting caught all the time. But everything ends nicely because true love conquers all.

Everybody wins. Nobody dies.

My Rich American Family

by reddit user aliceinvunderland

I am part of a rich American family, in a rich American suburb, full of rich American people.

Life is hell.

Every morning, me and the rest of the Wives get up at 5:00am sharp. Fifteen minutes of jogging around the neighborhood, five minutes in the shower (set to cold), twenty minutes for hair and makeup, and then five to get dressed. If we’ve managed that in time, meaning no later than 5:45am, we might be allowed solid food with our coffee.

Keep reading

the signs as summers

ARIES  ∞ the humid summer: heat slipping sticky hands down the slope of your thighs// sweat collecting in your collarbones // ponytails and shirts pulled down over sunburns 

TAURUS  ∞ the tepid summer: clouds coming to gather over the lakeside// cabins and campfires// grass sliding slow through idle fingers 

GEMINI  ∞ the stormy summer: thunder threatening to crack the world in two// rain pelting the pavement, droplets lingering, sweet, on the overhang of your bottom lip// bathing suits soaked through and the air heavy with petrichor 

CANCER  ∞ the sleepy summer: ladybugs drowsing in your hair// blanket forts and bedtime stories// the crackle of the bonfire leaking lazily through the trees

LEO  ∞ the nostalgic summer: counting the constellation of scratches the season left you// polaroids strung like fairy lights across every corner of your room// sun-kissed cheeks that glow until December

VIRGO  ∞ the stable summer: part-time jobs and parties that last until the sun peeks back up over the trees// fingers laced through yours; hands smoothing sunscreen over your shoulder blades// beach towels and Frisbees that arc like shooting stars over your head

LIBRA  ∞ the aesthetic summer: white linens and lace// sundresses sweeping the curvature of your ankles// a sky freckled with stars

SCORPIO  ∞ the brazen summer: plunging necklines and nights that stretch til morning// kicking firecrackers across empty street corners// festivals that thrum through your body like a second heartbeat

SAGITTARIUS  ∞ the springlike summer: daisy crowns looped over the crest of your forehead// the air heavy with the smell of hyacinths// the sun draping itself over you like a quilt 

CAPRICORN  ∞ the renewing summer: hair trims and catching trains// the tide sucking the sand out from beneath your toes// convertible rides and laughter that that gets whisked away by the wind 

AQUARIUS  ∞ the adventurous summer: broken rules and hopped fences// counting passports like money// adrenaline beating inside you like a third lung

PISCESthe spiritual summer: smoke rooms and music festivals// fingers lazily laced together// connecting the stars with Sharpie// pinky swears and promise rings

How to Zookeep: Job Interview Basics

So I was tagged by @why-animals-do-the-thing in a post about what not to say in a job interview. It’s a bit overdue, but I figured this was a good opportunity to continue some of “How to Zookeep” and give y’all some insight on interviews. I’ve actually conducted quite a lot of interviews for an entry-level position. Here are just a few Do’s and Don’ts…

Originally posted by principessadesu

General Maybe Do’s:

  • Wear an outfit that looks pretty nice, but don’t go too formal. You should be able to get muddy or hop a fence - just in case. Most of the time you’ll know if it’s a true working interview, but some interviews will involve a tour, meeting an animal, or other situations where you might get messy.
  • Show that you’ve researched the facility and the position. This is especially true for phone interviews or if you’re not from the area. If you’ve ever visited the facility, mention that. Mention specific parts of the job description and why you’re interested or why you would excel at it. I know I always make a good note if candidates reference something on our website or from the job description because it lets me know they’ve done their homework. (One time a candidate quoted something verbatim and it was a little jarring only because I wrote that part of the website and it was strange to hear someone quote me).
  • If at all possible, have specific examples from your past experiences that you can talk about. These could be examples of training, working well with others, strengths & weaknesses, general animal care, etc. Try to be able to tell a story about when you worked around a training difficulty or resolved an issue with a coworker. And yes, have a real answer for “strengths and weaknesses”.
  • Try to use the most ‘updated’ zoo language you can. Zoo terminology changes so fast it’s hard to keep up. Try to use some of the research (website and job description) to see what kind of language this particular facility uses and attempt to mirror it. Examples are “in human care” instead of captivity or “habitat / enclosure” instead of cage/exhibit. It’s just a bonus way to make a good impression.

Originally posted by a-night-in-wonderland

General Maybe Don’ts:

  • Don’t get political. This is what @why-animals-do-the-thing was asked about - mentioning animal rights activist groups in the interview. Unless you are completely sure that it is specifically relevant to the position try not to get into any heavy areas of debate, any controversial news stories (think Harambe), or politically charged organizations like PETA, HSUS, etc. And even though you might think that everyone in the zoo world agrees that US politics are terrible for zoos/the environment or something along those lines, a job interview is not the time to mention it.
  • Don’t ask for tips about a specific facility on a public forum. It’s important to do research, but this one crosses a bit of a professional line. I would advise against going on any public forum (like the facebook groups You Know You’re a Zookeeper When and Zookreepers) and asking for interview advice about a certain facility. Most people won’t want to comment publicly about their facility as it can be seen as unprofessional and a lot of their coworkers will see it. Most of the time the research you need can be done on the website and with some googling, but if you feel you just need to talk to someone who works there, try flexing your networking muscle a bit.
  • Don’t say you love animals. This sounds contradictory but hear me out here - this job is about much more than loving animals. A lot of interviewers are used to hearing this answer or seeing it in cover letters of people who think that liking animals is all you have to do for a job. Yes, you love animals, we know that. But what do you love about working with them? Do you like enrichment, exhibit design, training? What do you love about the career of zookeeper / aquarist / etc? It’s important to go beyond the surface of just wanting to be around animals and go into the details of how you will improve their lives when you literally have their lives in your hands. I’ve heard from a lot of interviewers that they’re tired of hearing about ‘passion’, they want to hear about action. They want to hear about cleaning, hard work, the real nitty-gritty of the job. This don’t also leads to a general tip (what if you don’t have examples of what you like yet?)

General Tips

Here’s a common problem: you’re applying for your first entry-level position and you don’t have any animal experience yet. What do you talk about? Here’s some ideas:

  • Academic research or fieldwork - did you go on birding trips? Did you do mist-netting? Have you worked in a lab that uses live animals? Those things can be beginner animal experience.
  • Volunteering - zoos, vet clinics, etc.
  • Formal domestic animal experience - even if it’s not with exotic animals, the basics of caring for small domestics (cats, dogs, rodents, fish, etc.) in a formal setting (vet, pet store, rescue) has some aspects that apply in zoos, such as restraint and medical care.
  • Personal pets (very carefully) - It’s not that personal pet experience isn’t helpful when you’re just starting out, but sometimes newer keepers come in with an idea that their pet experience is on the same level as caring for animals in a formal career setting. It is not. Caring for your own animal in your own home is VERY different from caring for it in a zoo, aquarium, vet’s office, etc. In a formal setting, there are legal guidelines to follow, teams of people to communicate with about animal care, and lots of formality/red tape that doesn’t exist in a home setting. Pets can be useful as examples in interviews if it is relevant (medicating, enrichment, restraint) but they are almost never seen as an actual qualification. Side note, please don’t list personal pet care on a resume. 

Overall in an interview, you want to try to be as collected and confident as possible. BUT if you get nervous and you’re really struggling, just tell us! It’s better to just laugh a bit and say sorry, I’m nervous, than to completely freeze up. I have done plenty of interviews where the person is nervous and that’s okay. I’ve hired people who were nervous or misspoke in their interview.

If you have any other questions, feel free to drop me a line. I’ve interviewed and hired people for just three years now, so I may not be particularly seasoned, but I can lend a little of my expertise.

Recently in our game, the party had to help a farmer with some… Sheep troubles. After running into some baddies we hadn’t been expecting, our gnome and elf came out far worse for wear, and, having solved the first part of the farmer’s request, decided to take the rest of the night on a full rest to heal.

Farmer: “Well I counted me sheep right- but what about what’s startling them?”

Tiefling: “They should rest, but we can keep watch on the field.”

Halfling: “Yeah! We’ll just hide nearby and make sure everything is Gucci!”

Tiefling (player completely straight-faced, monotone): “[Halfling], what is ‘Gucci’?”

Halfling: “It’s, uh… Y'know, like it’s all good! It’s Gucci!”

Later, after the final ‘boss’ had just been killed, the tiefling lowered her bow and, in the same monotone quiet voice from before asked

“That was…Gucci, yes?”

Halfling (trying not to laugh): “Oh yeah, very Gucci!”

Earlier, while the two were watching the sheep to make sure they were 'Gucci’, they’d discovered it was goblins hopping the fence that was disturbing the sheep. They watched them corner one and start feeling it before the tiefling asked if ti was some sort of fetish because “You would know about that sort of thing, wouldn’t you?”

(Needless to say, we’re only a few sessions in, but the halfling already has quite a reputation)

Crush

Request from anon: Eren having a crush on Reader (she’s older) and Levi reacting to it :) ———————–—————–

“Jaeger! Quit staring at (Y/N) and get over here so we can spar!”

You whipped your head around at the mention of your name and saw Jean laughing wildly as Mikasa glared openly at him. Glancing to the left, you could see Eren, who’s cheeks were flushed a deep shade of ruby.

“Kirstein! Where are those laps you owe me from yesterday? You had better get running, unless you want another ten to do!”

His laughter stopped abruptly as he locked eyes with you, hopping off the fence he was sitting on and breaking directly into a sprint.

“Hmm. Seems you have learned a thing or two from me.”

The smirk on Levi’s face was evident in his tone as he stepped beside you.

“I guess you’ve rubbed off on me a little.”

You smiled over your shoulder at him, crossing your arms as you watched the rest of the squad fall in line while you and Levi approached.

“All right, brats. I’m not going to–Oi! Connie! What are you blithering on about, brat?”

Levi’s eyes narrowed in the startled boy’s direction, waiting for a response as he folded his arms tightly across his chest.

“He was just mentioning how Jean is suffering for blabbing in front of Squad Leader (Y/N) that Eren has a crush on her.”

Sasha took a generous bite of the potato she was snacking on, chewing happily and completely oblivious to Levi’s astonished expression.

“Wha–”

Levi shook his head quickly, before pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“What the hell is with you pathetic, good-for-nothing-brats?! All of you, fifteen laps, now! Oi, Kirstein, that’s another fifteen for you!”

Biting your lip, you struggled not to laugh as you looked down, listening to all of them shuffle as they took off running.

“Are you..jealous?”

With everyone else out of earshot, you let out the giggle you were restraining, earning you a dramatic roll-of-the-eyes from Levi.

“Hey, I’m just asking. I mean, if you feel threatened by a fifteen year old boy, let me know.”

Levi sighed as you continued to laugh, then he glared over at the running figures.

“Jaeger! Quit slacking off! That’s another five laps, brat!”

You turned away, covering your mouth as you tried to calm your laughter. Levi shot a sideways glance in your direction, but you could tell he was forcing back a smile.

“Come on, Captain. It’s a little funny.”

You took a step towards him, wrapping your arm around his waist as you stood directly beside him.

“Only thing that’s funny is that brat thinking he would ever even remotely have a chance with you.”

You cracked up again and looked over to see his stoic expression had broken into an amused smile.

“You’re the only one for me. Besides, I’m not into younger men.”

“Oi, watch your tongue or I’ll have you out running laps next, brat.”

Levi smirked playfully as he pulled you in closer to him, kissing you gently.

a chance taken.

pairing: jeon jungkook | reader
genre: childhood friends au / fluff
word count: 7,060
description: confessing has never been easy for a shy boy like jeon jungkook, but sometimes you just got to take a chance in the name of love.    
author’s note:
to my girl @workofteaguk because you told me to write it and honestly i get all my best fluff ideas for our men with you <3 think of this as a parting gift to summer. still, i hope we’ll be free from evil essays and ridiculous websites that tell us we plagiarized our own names this school year~


For the past thirteen years of Jungkook’s life, his only semblance of confidence came in the shape of you. His own desires never had to part his lips when you said them for him. Sometimes you would just know even without him telling you as if you could read his mind in that split second. He can’t say he ever hated it either. It’s silly to say considering most kids like expressing themselves by their lonesome, but being a kid and an unbearably shy one at that, having someone as outspoken as you was an absolute godsend.

At the age of five, his mother and his godmother (your mother) dreamt and hoped that you two would find friendship in one another which ultimately succeeded. He was never quite sure what did it exactly, but from the many neighborhood excursions you dragged him on in your close-knit neighborhood and the many playdates you two were put into, he found solace in all of it and in you. He sure as hell enjoyed spending time with you over Jinho, who only wanted to put him into a headlock until he cried for mercy (or just cried, in general) because at least with you, tears came when he had to part from you.

Without a doubt, this camaraderie became a defining point in his childhood. There was no expectation of him with you, because you already saw him in his home life and him in his school life. It was undoubtedly a relationship that he cherished despite the numerous times you would drag him into trouble from sneaking out to go to the park, to hopping the fence to your house, to pranking Jinho when you stayed over. He did these things with your own coaxing until it became his own conscious will to do stuff like going to your house when he shouldn’t or letting you play his favorite video game, fully aware that you had dance practice. All for his own selfish reasons, he relished in acting this way with and without your influences, because you were his friend—one of very few (though he disliked including Jimin sometimes)—that he had throughout the eight years of school you two shared together.

Keep reading

Assassin!Harry (Part 1)

Harry is a trained, experienced assassin hired to kill Y/N but ends up, to his horror, starting to fall for her. 

———————————————————————————————–

He may be human, but he operates like a machine: identify target, plan, stalk, kill, collect cash, repeat. What one may consider sociopathic or psychopathic personality traits, Harry considers a blessing. After all, it is his lack of regard for human emotions and his own conscience that has made his career possible. The only proof he has that he is not, in fact, heartless is when he feels his pulse throbbing in his neck as he sprints between alleyways, hops fences, climbs walls, desperately trying to escape any chance of pursuit after the murder is done. Although pursuit is something with which Harry has become unfamiliar; he dealt with it in his career’s infancy, but as he has grown so have his skills. His eye for quick, accessible escape routes has grown keener, his aim tighter, and his remorse…well, nonexistent. He works alone, and he prefers it this way, but his work is so precise that many law enforcement officials cannot accept the possibility of the unidentified murderer being just a “murderer” instead of “murderers.” He’s lost track of how many kills he has made, yet, amazingly, he has yet to be caught or even identified. Nobody has ever suspected him of anything due to his brilliant planning, charming exterior, and cunning way with words; he comes off as a sweet, regular guy. All of this, coupled with the fact that he truly is heartless in the figurative sense of the word, makes Harry Styles the most successful, feared assassin on the planet. He never gets off track, never gets caught, and–most importantly–never misses. So, when he woke up and saw the folded yellow envelope lying on the floor under the windowsill of his first-floor, high-class apartment, it was just a normal day for Harry. He receives one to two requests every month, and as screwed up as it is, he can’t help but feel a rush of excitement whenever he wakes up to an envelope lying crisp and unopened on his tiled floor.

Harry picked up the folder, heavy with cash, and opened it to reveal 5 crisp stacks of 100 $100 bills each. Assassinations don’t come cheap, and Harry prioritizes the higher-paying customers. In other words, the sooner you want someone dead, the more money you should be willing to shell out. $50,000 isn’t much compared to most of his other offers, but because Harry wasn’t planning any other kills, he decided to go about prioritizing the operation. He flipped through the information, identifying the twenty year old college student that he was supposed to kill. He laid out the three included photographs of the girl and identified her address on a map. He read through her daily schedule, put together by the unnamed person who had hired him, and went about identifying the lowest-risk time to pursue and kill her. He ventured into the depths of his expansive closet, retrieving the black duffel bag that contained his gloves, his attire, his shoes, his ammunition, and his small, silver handgun as well as his perfectly sharpened steel knife. He never uses both the gun and the knife in one killing; he just likes the option. He grabbed the roll of heavy duty black tape from the bag and went about taping the bottoms of his shoes so that the patterns they would normally leave behind were masked. He put the bag by his front door and went about his day, eagerly anticipating nightfall.

Keep reading

Virgin (Luke)

Rating: R

Pairing: Luke x Y/N

Request: No

Summery: Bad boy Luke takes nerdy Y/N’s V card. 

I’ll admit it, I’m a virgin. It’s not like I’m saving myself til marriage or anything special like that, but I wasn’t going to whore myself out like a prostitute either. I mean, no one’s ever tried anything with me. Mostly because I was the nerdy girl in the class. 

The pencil behind the ear, thick glasses and sweater type of girl. I’m smart, and kind of a know-it-all. So as you can see, no one wants to have sex with the boring smart girl. I didn’t have that many friends as a result of this.

“Alright class, settle down. We have a new student.” Ms. Martins said, motioning to the tall blonde boy next to her. He had a black lip ring and ripped black skinny jeans. I could see a rose tattoo peaking out from under his black and white striped shirt. “Luke, would you like to introduce yourself.”

“Well, I’m Luke Hemmings. I moved here from Sydney. I like bands.. That’s about it.” He says, playing with his lip ring. I could already tell he was going to be popular, just by the way he stands. Not to mention Kristen Matters was already swooning over him. I could almost guarantee that he would be sitting at the popular kids table at lunch. 

“Alright then, why don’t you go sit next to Y/N in the back.” Ms. Martins instructs before beginning to start class. Luke sits next to me, staring. He had this bad-boy, intimating aura about him that made me shrink in my seat. I quickly jotted down the notes as they left Ms. Martin’s mouth, Luke just stared at me.

“Y/N was it? Beautiful name, darling.” Luke says, leaning closer to me. I almost don’t hear him as I’m too focused jotting down notes. He outstretches his hand to me, I look at him with a puzzled expression. “Shake my hand, darling.”

“Why?” I ask, slowly reaching my hand to his, he takes my hand and kisses it.

“Your skin is so soft.” He mumbles as he pulls away.

“Mr. Hemmings,  I’m sorry to interrupt the love-feast going on with Ms. Y/L/N but I’m sure we wouldn’t want the principle to talk to you on the first day.” Ms. Martins says, the entire class turns back to stare at us. I feel heat rise in my cheeks as I snatch my hand away from Luke and put my head down.

Ms. Martins went on teaching and I quickly jot down the notes, refusing to look at either Luke or any of my peers. Every so often, one of them would sneak a glance back at me and Luke. This didn’t seem to phase him but made me blush.

“Y’know, you’re cute when your flustered.” He whispers to me.

“Please, Luke. Just leave me alone.” I whisper back. 

“Why? You scared you’re gonna start liking me and stop focusing on your studies.” He suggests. “Or is it that you’re a virgin and have no idea what the fuck you’ll do and are scared to embarrass yourself?”

“Leave me alone, Luke.” I snap a bit too loudly. 

“Mr. Hemmings, one more time and I send you to the principal’s office.” Ms. Martins snaps.

“Sorry, teach. I’m a bit distracted by Y/N.” Luke says, causing eyes to dart my way. 

“How so?” Ms. Martins asks, knowing my meek and quiet demeanor. 

“Oh you know.” Luke shrugs. Ms. Martins rolls her eyes and continues to teach. This has been the longest class ever. Class continues as such, Luke getting in trouble and me avoid glances. Eventually, the lunch bell rings and I scurry off to the cafeteria. As I wait in the lunch line, Kristen Matters and her friends stand behind me. 

“That Luke guy is so hot! You should totally date him, Kristen!” One of Kristen’s squeaky high pitched voiced friends say to her. 

“I know right! They’d be so cute together! I bet he’d be a good fuck too! Right, Kristen?” Another friend says. 

“Yeah, we could do it in my car after prom or something.” Kristen says. “But the fucks up with that Y/N chick? I didn’t even know she existed until he was like oogling her!” 

“And like, how could she just reject him like that? For a nerd, she’s pretty fucking stupid.” The first friend says. I ignore them and take my food to the library, on my way out seeing Luke sitting at the popular table. School passes and buzzes with the gossip of the new kid. I board my bus and sit at the front, the bad kids sit at the back. 

“What are you doing here?” I ask as Luke walks down the slim isle way. 

“This is my bus. What are you doing here?” I question.

“This is my bus.” Luke says, taking a seat next to me. “Mind if I sit here?” 

Yes.” I say.

“Too bad. Guess you’ll just have to live with seeing me every day until you graduate.” Luke smiles. I groan and scoot closer to the window, Luke’s leg touches mine. I feel him put his hand on my exposed knee, I cross my legs. “You’re a virgin, aren’t you?”

“Shut up, so what.” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

“So that means you’ve never had an orgasm.” Luke says.

“Shut up, Luke.” I say, irradiated by his forwardness. 

“Oh, poor Y/N, she’s never had an orgasm.” He chuckles. “What are you like religious or something? No sex til marriage type of thing?” 

“No, I’m just not one of the many harlots you spend your time with.” I state.

“You mean Kristen and her friends?” He says. I nod. “You know maybe you’d get laid if you weren’t such a stuck up bitch.” 

“And maybe if you weren’t such a filthy minded pig we could have had a civilized conversation about the weather and such.” I huff, recrossing my arms. Luke rolls his eyes and looks the other way. The bus comes to a stop on Maple drive. Luke starts to get up and leave the bus, sadly this was also my stop. I ended up walking behind Luke as we both headed home. 

 “What? Are you hear to harass me some more? Or say you’re sorry and give me head?” Luke snaps at me, his black messenger bag slinging off his shoulder. 

“None of the above, I’m heading to my house.” I said pointing to my house.

“Fuck, you live next door from me? So there’s literally no way to avoid you? Oh no.” Luke says. I groan and just speed walk to my house. Luke watches me enter before continuing on to his home. I finish up some homework and eat dinner. I then lay on my bed in my underwear and a big teeshirt reading a book. I hear a tap at my window. 

Luke pears in from behind the window, perched on the roof. I walk over and open it. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” I snap at him.

“Well hello to you too. Can I come in?” Luke asks still perched.

“How the hell did you get up here?” I ask.

“Hopped your fence and climbed up the side.” He states. “I’m enjoying this outfit selection.”

“Shut up. Why are you here?” I mark the page I was reading and return it to my shelf. “I swear if you say ‘to get head’ or anything along those lines I’ll push you out the window.”

“I wanted to say sorry for teasing you. I mean, it’s not your fault you’ve never had an orgasm. I mean probably.” He says.

“Sorry my sex life isn’t as interesting as yours, Luke. But not a lot of people want to sleep with a girl who dresses like a catholic school girl.”

“I do.” Luke says.

“What?”

“I want to sleep with you.” Luke says.

“You know I’m a virgin?” I inquire, very confused that someone would find me remotely attractive. 

“Only makes you hotter. You know how hot it is for a guy to like.. Mark his territory. Like when America landed on the moon. It’s kinda like that.” Luke rambles, I notice a bulge in his jeans. “So, Y/F/N, can I take your virginity?”

“I- sure. Yes. You can take my virginity.” I say, blushing as I say the words. Luke grins and locks my door. 

“You’ve kissed a boy before, right?” 

“Yeah..” I blush. Luke gently cups my face before pressing his lips to mine. I kiss back timidly, he brings his tongue to my bottom lip. I open my mouth and let him explore. I feel butterflies in my stomach as Luke pulls me into his lap. I straddle him, arms loosely hanging around his neck. Luke starts to kiss down my neck and I gently pull on his hair, making him groan. He leaves hickeys down my neck and too the collar of my shirt. 

“C-can I take your shirt off?” I ask, shifting on his lap. He lets out a breathy groan. 

“Please, darling.” He smirks. I meekly take it off and put it on the floor. I admire his toned physic. I gently place a kiss by his ear and down his neck, his body is tense and breathing hard. I start to suck on an area wear his neck and shoulders meet. “Princess, you’re gonna make me cum in my pants by how fucking innocent you are. Can I please get you started on so you actually can loose your virginity?”

I nod and Luke quickly flips us. Luke gently removes my shirt, biting his lip ring as he takes in the sight of my bare breasts. He places kisses to each nipple before taking one between his teeth gently. I throw my head back on the bed and arch my back.

“I see someone likes that.” He says cockily. He leaves my breast and starts down to my naval. He places a kiss on my belly button, making me giggle. He then leans down farther and pulls my blue panties down with his teeth. i gasp at the sudden temperature change on my clit. “Easy there, darling.”

Luke spread my legs, placing a kiss just above my clit before slowly kissing down. I groan at his teasing, he chuckles and licks a long stripe up my folds. I groan and tangle my fingers in his hair. Luke circles my clit with his tongue before licking a flat stripe from the bottom to the top. All I knew was pure pleasure as my legs shook with pleasure.

“Mmm, you like this don’t you?” Luke hummed on my cunt.

“Fuck you, Luke.” I groaned out. He pulled away from me, his face dripping with my juices.

“Well that’s no way to talk to the guy that’s gonna give you your first orgasm?” Luke asks, tilting his head. I sit up and grab his face, pressing my lips to his. He smirks into the kiss and grabs my breast, making me groan. 

“Please, Luke.” I beg, breaking the kiss. Luke’s eyes roll in the back of his head at my words.

“Fuck, Y/N. It’s so hot when you beg me.” Luke groans, rubbing himself through his jeans. “Please, princess.”

“Luke please fuck me, I’m so fucking desperate. I need your big cock.” I groan, my eyes fluttering shut. Luke smirks and kisses me, I lay back on the bed.

“Who would have known the nerdiest girl in school was so desperate for the bad boy’s dick.” Luke chuckles, unzipping his pants. He aggressively tries to yank them down. His erection visible through his grey boxers. “Enjoying the view, sugar? You can touch it princess, no need to be scared of it.”

I gingerly reach my hand out and stroke him through his boxers, he bites his lip as he watches me. I slowly pull down his boxers and gawk. He’s bigger than I thought. 

“Are you sure this’ll fit?” I ask timidly, looking up at him through hooded eyes. 

“You virgins are so cute.” He says, seeming to strain against his urge to bang me into an oblivion.  “Always asking strange questions. Of course it’ll fit, just be a little snug.”

I slowly reach my hand out to his erection. I place a kiss to the tip, making him hiss. I then slowly pump him in my hand, he bites his lip. I look up to him, batting my eyelashes. 

“Y/N, I’m seriously going to cum if you don’t stop.” Luke says, I slowly stop. “There’s a condom in the back pocket of my jeans. Grab that for me?” 

I reach into the back pocket, shaking from anticipation. I hand him the foil package. Luke leans over and kisses my forehead as he rolls the condom onto the length.

“You can tell me whenever you want to stop and we will.” Luke states, I nod and he kisses me again. I then lay down on the bed, legs spread. He then settles between my legs, kissing my neck as he slowly places his tip to my entrance. “Ready?”

“Ready.” I say. Luke slowly pushes himself into me. I his at the sting of my walls stretching around him. 

“Holy fuck you’re tight.” He groans, wheezing. He then bites his lip and throws his head back. “Can I move?”

“It feels weird but yes.” I say, biting my lip. Luke slowly moves his hips, I scrunch my face. A lone tear trails down my cheek, Luke slowly reaches his hand down and quickly rubs my clit. Luke continues to slowly pump in and out of me, going deeper and deeper each time. 

“HOLY FUCK!” I groan, thrusting my hips up. 

“I think we just found your G-spot, princess.” Luke chuckles. “Let’s play with that.”

Luke thrusts into that spot again, hard. I squeal raking my nails down his back. Luke picks up speed and thrusts into my G-spot. I lean up to his neck and press kisses down it. I feel my walls clench around him as my orgasm grows near. 

A wave of pleasure washes over me, I squeal and rake my nails down his back, leaving marks. I thrust my hips up to meet him. Luke groans and kisses me. He aggressively starts thrusting into me, I feel him release into the condom. I squeal in pleasure as it finally ends.

Luke pulls out and rolls over next to me. I whimper at the sudden emptiness and roll over to face him. Luke is panting and looking up at the ceiling. 

“I can’t believe it, I just fucked the school nerd.” He chuckles. “You’re really good in bed, Y/N. We should do this more often.”

“Thanks, Luke. We should totally do this again.”  

This Can’t Be The End

Originally posted by classicspnsource

Summary: You and Dean are transported to the year 2014, only to find the world in ruins and nearly everyone you love dead. In your time, your feelings for Dean are unrequited, but in the future, things are much different. (5x04 rewrite/reader insert)

Pairing: Future!Dean x Y/N Singer

Word Count: 5,700

Warnings: ANGST (Seriously guys, proceed with CAUTION this is the angstiest thing I’ve ever done. It hurt me writing it, it nearly killed @deanssweetheart23 who is forever and always my lovely beta) SMUT (That’s right, I actually wrote smut and it’s probably terrible) LANGUAGE (Future!Dean swears a lot) Mention/suggestion/implication of suicide.

A/N: This is not only for angst weekend, but for @jayankles Bailey’s birthday challenge! Congrats on the blog-versary and the followers, hun! I’d also like to sincerely apologize to you for the severe levels of angst… please read something happier for your birthday. 

A/N/N: Again, first real time doing smut, I’m sorry it’s probably terrible. This is an episode rewrite, and a great deal of the dialogue is from the episode - full credit to the spn writers. And I’m not kidding, this shit is angsty. Hang on.

Keep reading

inspired by this post by @captain-snark i hope i did the idea justice!

part two part three

Derek swears someone is using his pool. He doesn’t have evidence, but things look slightly out of place when he gets back from his business trip. It isn’t really that noticeable and when he had Cora check on his place a few days ago, she said everything looked normal. 

It’s really just a feeling. A feeling that someone is using his pool. 

With a sigh, he shakes it off. It’s nothing, nothing substantial at least. He grabs his briefcase and suitcase and leaves the house for his business trip. It is always a drag going across the country to New York to deal with corporate. He has to put on his best suit and pack his other good suits, and then he has to somehow manage not to get too wrinkled on the plane on the way there, and it is a long flight from California to New York.

But this is what he chose to do. This is what he got his business degree for. He owns a bakery and now there is a corporation for it to make more bakeries, and really, he didn’t think his bakery would get this far. There are investors and CEOs to talk to now. He hates talking to people.

Keep reading