hopeless and heartless

Stay (An Álvaro Morata One-Shot)

       She should be paying attention to class instead of being on her phone.

       She should be paying attention to class instead of being on her phone.

       She should be paying attention to class instead of being on her phone.

(But guess what she was doing anyway?)

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Three Small Words

Note: This is a one-shot John/Dave and Dirk/Jake happy fluffy feels fic that has nothing to do with Hopeless and Heartless.  Enjoy!

Three Small Words

When you were little, your kindergarten teacher gave you a homework assignment.  Write three sentences, three things that you love.  Your sentences only needed to be three words long.

Spelling didn’t matter.  Periods were optional.    You wrote the entire thing in blue crayon.

I LOV JOKS

I LOV MOOVEES

I LOV DAV

You still remember the look on your dad’s face when you proudly showed him that you could write.  When he first looked at you, there was something in his eyes you didn’t recognize.  You were confused and a little worried that you did a bad job writing.  But your unease melted away when he swept you up into his arms.  With a big smile on his face, he told you, “I’m so proud of you, son.”

When you were little, you told Dave you loved him all the time.  Dave told you he loved you too.  Dave was your best friend. Of course you loved him.

And when you were little, nobody seemed to care.  Your teacher just smiled at you.  The other kids were too busy eating paste to think about you two.

Dave’s older brother heard you tell Dave you loved him once.  He used a word you never heard before when he said, “too fuckin’ cute.”

After you asked your dad what a “fuckin’” was later, you weren’t allowed to play over at Dave’s house for a while.  But Dave still came over to yours every day after school.

Grade school flew by.  You and Dave were inseparable.  You did everything together.  By some stroke of luck, you were in the same class with each other every year.

And though some things never changed, one thing did.

Somewhere along the line, you stopped telling Dave you loved him.  Dave stopped too. 

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Odd One Out

Anon Request: May i request a baekhyun scenario where you have two sisters and out the two you’re considered the good for nothing one? Because you’re not as pretty them, etc. You don’t care about how you dress( you wear jeans/t-shirts all the time) However, you catch (vampire) baekhyun’s eye and comes to ask for your hand, etc. Some angst/cute idk kiss stuff lol thank you ~

The chandeliers were cleaned down to the smallest crystals. Twinkling lights were in place, two different 4 tiered cakes on their own separate decorated tables. One for each of them. Your two sisters were in a frenzy as they were preparing for their shared birthday and your parents shared no expense to make it everything they wanted just like every year in the past. 

Your eldest sister wore a sequined covered floor length dress, the rich wine color radiated the beauty of her skin and the perfect curves of her body. Your middle sister wore a skin tight, pink lace dress with a deep plunging back, also showing off her perfect figure. 

Perfect make up, beautiful hair, extravagant jewelry, the highest heels they could each walk in. Every little detail was just wonderful and fit this party of theirs. 

And then there was you. Your “simple” black dress was no match for the lavish look of your sisters. Yours wasn’t sleeveless like your oldest sister, or sexy like your middle sister. The little striped cutouts on your waist wasn’t enough to make a simple girl look even remotely beautiful. That’s the exact way they described you and your look. 

“Can’t even make an ugly duckling look somewhat decent.” Your middle sister snickered as she tugged on your bland hair. They were both appalled at your style, but you were saved by the bell as guests began to arrive. You were hoping that the party would be big enough to save you from their constant torment. 

This was the only time that you ever dressed up. Unlike the opinions of your family you thought you cleaned up nicely, compared to the usually casual attire. Despite your initial thoughts, you stuck out like a sore thumb. 

All of your sisters’ friends were dressed in designer wear, elegant dresses and tailored suits. And of course, you knew absolutely no one but your own flesh and blood. Still, it wouldn’t stop you from moping around at a party. 

You grabbed yourself a drink and found a group to mingle with. Though shocked that they didn’t know you were the third sister when they asked who you were, you were glad to keep that information a secret. No labels for you tonight. 

You chatted with a boy who was your age, tall, deep voice, curious wide eyes. Somewhere down the line he introduced himself as Chanyeol and you were having a really good time. That is, until both of your sisters just had to make their way over to you. 

“Ew, Chan. Why are you talking to our sister? I think you’re out of her league” Your eldest sister slung an arm around his waist while your middle sister shoved you to the side. Chanyeol turned and gave you a funny look, that little realization to your identity. 

They scared off the one person who actually acknowledged you. And the guests of honor brought the attention of the entire party…to you. Just not in the way you expected.

You were pushed back into the wall, head thumping against the marble. The impact created a dizziness and you fell over, knocking a vase on the table your head hit. 

Something dripped down your head, and water began filling your eyes. Your middle sister laughed, “Look, I covered up the ugly!” 

Some of the other guests snickered at her comment, leaving you hopeless and viewing them as heartless. 

Sure the warnings were clear and the evidence was enough to bring fear into everyone else, but under no circumstances did they expect you to run out of the house during night. Simple reason. They came out at night. The party went dead silent as the front door to your house slammed, yet no one was brave enough to follow you out.

You ran in your heels down the dark and cold suburban street until you hit the little park where you spent most of your childhood. Slumping down on a swing, you tried your best not to show any waterworks, but it was no use. 

The gash on your head was dripping down your face, but you couldn’t care much about that. It could bleed out and you wouldn’t mind. You kicked up the sand beneath you, watching the tears land on your knees. 

“Now what is a beautiful creature like you doing out late at night?” A sauntering, tempting voice rang in your ears, sending chills down your spine. He made himself obvious to you, red eyes, fangs, pale skin. Easy to spot one, it’s not like you didn’t believe the horror stories on the news. 

His nose flared as he took a deep breath, most likely because the smell of your blood was appetizing to him. You wiped your eyes, smearing blood across your face. 

“If you’re going to kill me the least you can do is tell the truth.” His perfect hearing didn’t fail him despite your mumbling, and he couldn’t believe his ears. 

His nicer attire slipped your mind at first, but you were just a bit curious as to why such a creature was so devilishly handsome and fancy at the same time. He folded his arms and raised an eyebrow. “And who are you to call me a liar?”

You looked up at him, flustered with confusion. Is he flirting with me?

Moving your eyes up made your head throb even more, reminding you of the situation you left. This man in front of you sat in the swing next to you, “It was a terrible party anyways.” 

“You…were at the party?”

He snorted. “Saw you talking to my friend.”

The two of you sat in silence, gently swinging to and fro. Your eyes drooped down, ignoring the pain to your head. The blood had dried on your head and began to crust. The unnamed man knelt down in front of you and pulled you on his back. 

“What are you doing?” You mumbled in his neck.

“Taking you home. Probably going to clean up the mess on your head.”

“No killing?”

You heard soft, beautiful laughter coming from him. “I don’t kill beautiful women.” 

You scoffed. “Lying to me and not telling me your name. Not very good at first impressions.” 

“Baekhyun.” He answered instantly, approaching your home instantly. You told him not to take you through the front door, saving yourself from a lecture or embarrassment. 

The moment you got to your bedroom you headed towards the bathroom and got a first aid kit. You were about to do it yourself but Baekhyun stopped you. “Nope.”

He took the first aid kit and dragged you back to your room, sat you down on the bed, and pulled out the right supplies. All the while you looked at him suspiciously. 

“You’re kind of weird for a vampire.” 

His lips curled up as he dabbed medicine on your cut. “You’re kind of cute for the odd one out.” 

Baekhyun’s pale face was mere centimeters away from yours as he tended to you. He blew the ointment dry and covered the cut with a large bandaid. He pulled away just the tiniest bit and tapped his cheek. “Reward please.”

“Reward? For what?” 

He hummed, “For saving a beautiful girl and tending to her. Sustenance is required for my services.” A simple kiss to his cheek was all he was asking. But he was sly as well as handsome. 

You did it to get it over with, not thinking that he might trick you. You leaned forward to quickly kiss his cheek, but he turned his head just at the right time to peck your lips. 

You gasped back and saw his smirk. He walked toward your window and flashed his eyes once more at you, readying himself to jump out. “Oh, don’t worry. I plan to be back for more of those.”

He jumped out, leaving you a blushing mess. It was only later that you found out that Baekhyun never lies. 


I know this took forever but I hope you like it anon!! ^-^

anonymous asked:

I feel very ashamed lately. I was once radically on fire for The Lord. And now I am so distant. My heart longs for him, but I don't know how to get back to where I was. Any suggestions?

Hey my friend, I’m really sorry you’re going through this.  Please allow me the grace to point you to some previous posts.

- A Mega-Post on Ragged Jagged Bipolar Faith

- Getting Back The Fire For God

- Hopeless, Heartless, and Hanging By A Thread

You don’t have to read any of these: but I hope you can see that

1) You’re totally not alone in this, and

2) We all have seasons of doubt, confusion, and frustration in our spiritual journey. 

None of this makes you a bad person or that you’re somehow “off” with God.  It could just be growing pains or the natural rhythm of your life or just a particularly vulnerable week that perpetuated some condemning thoughts about yourself.

The feeling of “distance” never dictates where God is in your life.  I know that sounds like a cute thing to say: but I’m so dead serious.  People who feel far from God are hardly prepared to feel this way, so they end up feeling a double-guilt about it.  They feel bad that they feel bad: when God is the closest in those moments.  It’s when you’re far that you can feel secure in telling Him, “I feel far from you.”  And it’s His grace that will break through, however slowly and steadily.

A father most feels like a dad when his kids are messing up: because the dad steps in to take care of his children.  And your Heavenly Father draws nearest to the hurting (Psalm 34:18).  God won’t ever demean you for those feelings or lack of feelings.

So tell Him.  Everything.  And your faith will stretch and twist and dig deeper, not always as it was before, but into something more solid than those first on-fire feelings.

My friend: continue to be curious and pursue Him.  Keep serving, keep loving, be honest with others about what you’re going through, and keep an open line with Him.  He loves you through all of it.

— J

“I read once that when a person falls in love the brain creates a chemical that bonds the person to their love interest. Sadly, after two years, that chemical subsides and another chemical is created that continues the bond (if nurtured and protected) but the bond is less passionate, less energetic and more thoughtful and familial.

I suppose that’s how I feel about Jesus now. I feel like He’s family. Or, more appropriately, I feel like I’m in His family. It’s almost like we once had a passionate thing and now we’re just kind of growing old together.

Often, when people try to get me worked up about Jesus, zealous and emotional, I don’t necessarily feel like it fits me. I’d have to fake it if I acted that way. To me, faith is about maintaining and protecting a solid relationship in which there is now about fifteen years of history, too many memories to name, lots of great, slow work to do and plenty of other people to introduce Jesus to so they can start their relationship as well.”

– Donald Miller

8

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

“Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?”

Flower Meanings

A

Acacia — concealed love, beauty in retirement, chaste love
Acanthus — art or artistic; the fine arts; artifice
Achillea Millefolia — war
Aconite (Wolf’s Bane) — misanthropy 
Acorn — nordic symbol of life and immortality
Agapanthus — love letters
Agnus Castus — coldness, indifference
Allspice — compassion
Almond Blossom — hope, lover’s charm 
Aloe — grief
Alstroemeria — devotion, friendship
Alyssum — worth beyond beauty
Ambrosia — your love is reciprocated
Amaryllis — pride, pastoral poetry
Amaranth — fidelity
Amaryllis — pride, timidity, splendid beauty
Anemone — forsaken, unfading love, truth, sincerity, anticipation
Angelica — inspiration
Aniseed — restoration of youth
Apple Blossoms — hope, good fortune, better things to come
Arbor Vitae — true friendship
Arbutus — thee only do i love
Artemisia — dignity
Arbutus — thee only do i love
Asphodel — my regrets follow you to the grave
Aster — symbol of love, daintiness
Azalea — take care of yourself for me, temperance, fragile passion, chinese symbol of womanhood, fragility

B

Baby’s Breath — everlasting love, pure in love
Bachelor Button — single blessedness, celibacy, hope in love
Basil — best wishes, love, hatred
Bay Leaf — strength, I change but in death
Bear’s Breeches — art or artistic, the fine arts, artifice
Begonia — beware
Betony — surprise
Bellflower —  gratitude
Bells of Ireland — good luck
Bilberry — treachery
Bird of Paradise — magnificence
Bittersweet — truth
Bluebell — humility, constancy
Blue Periwinkle — friendship
Borage — courage, bluntness
Bouquet of Withered Flowers — rejected love
Broom — humility, neatness
Bulrush — indiscretion, docility
Burnet — a merry heart
Buttercup — childishness, cheerfulness

C

Cactus — endurance
Calendula — joy
Calla Lily — splendid beauty
Camellia (general) — admiration, perfection, good luck gift to a man
Camellia (pink) — longing for you
Camellia (red) — you’re a flame in my heart
Camellia (white) — you’re adorable
Camomile — energy in adversity
Candytuft — indifference
Carnation (general) — fascination, woman love, bonds of affection, health and energy, carnation (pink) — i’ll never forget you
Carnation (red) — my heart aches for you, admiration
Carnation (purple) — capriciousness, whimsical
Carnation (solid color) —  yes
Carnation (striped) — no, refusal, sorry i can’t be with you, wish i could be with you
Carnation (white) — sweet and lovely, innocence, pure love, woman’s good luck gift
Carnation (yellow) — you have disappointed me, rejection
Cattail — peace, prosperity
Cedar — i live for thee, think of me
Chamomile — patience, attracts wealth 
Chrysanthemum (general) —  you’re a wonderful friend, cheerfulness and rest.
Chrysanthemum (red) — I love you
Chrysanthemum (white) — truth
Chrysanthemum (yellow) — slighted love
Cinnamon — my fortune is yours
Clover (four leaf) — good luck, be mine
Columbine — folly
Corn — riches
Cornflower — delicacy, refinement
Coriander — lust
Cowslip — pensiveness, winning grace
Coxcomb — foppery
Crocus — cheerfulness
Cyclamen — resignation and goodbye

D

Daffodil — regard, respect, unrequited love, you’re the only one, the sun is always shining when i’m with you
Dahlia — good taste, instability
Daisy — innocence, loyal love, faith, cheer, simplicity
Dandelion — faithfulness, devotion, happiness, wishes come true
Delphinium — airy
Dogwood — durability

E

Edelweiss — daring, noble courage
Elder — zealousness
Elm — dignity
Eucalyptus — protection

F

Fennel — worthy of all praise, strength
Fern — magic, fascination, confidence and shelter
Fern (maidenhair) — secret bond of love
Fig — argument
Fir — time
Flax — domestic symbol, fate
Forget—me—not — true love, memories
Forsythia — anticipation, expectation
Foxglove — insincerity
Fuschia (scarlet) — fast

G

Gardenia — you’re lovely, secret love
Garland of roses — reward of virtue
Garlic —   courage, strength
Geranium (rose) — preference
Geranium (scented) — stupidity, folly, comfort
Gillyflower — bonds of affection
Gladioli — profess sincerity, flower of the gladiators
Gladiolus — love at first sight, ready—armed, strength of character, generosity
Gloxinia — love at first sight
Golden rod — precaution
Guelder rose — winter, age
Grass — surrender

H

Harebell — submission, grief 
Hawthorn — hope
Hazel — reconciliation
Heather (lavender) — admiration, solitude
Heather (pink) — good luck
Heather (white) — protection, wishes will come true
Helenium — tears
Hemlock — you will be my death
Hibiscus — delicate beauty
Holly — defense, domestic happiness
Honeysuckle (yellow) — bonds of love
Hyacinth (general) — games and sports, rashness, flower dedicated to apollo
Hyacinth (blue) — constancy
Hyacinth (purple) — i am sorry, please forgive me, sorrow
Hyacinth (red or pink) — play
Hyacinth (white) — loveliness, i’ll pray for you
Hyacinth (yellow) — jealousy
Hydrangea — thank you for understanding, frigidity, heartlessness

I

Ice Plant — your looks freeze me
Iris — fleur—de—lis, emblem of france, your friendship means so much to me, warmth of affection, faith, hope, wisdom and valor, my compliments
Ivy — love, fidelity, marriage, friendship

J

Jasmine — amiability, sensuality, transport of joy, grace and elegance
Jonquil — love me, affection returned, desire, sympathy, desire for affection returned
Judas Tree — unbelief, betrayal

L

Larkspur (pink) — fickleness
Lavender — devotion, distrust
Leaves (all colours) — melancholy
Lemon — zest
Lemon Balm — brings love
Lemon Blossom — fidelity
Lilac (purple) — first emotions of love
Lilac (white)  youthful innocence, purity, sweetness
Lily (calla) — beauty
Lily (day) — coquetry, chinese emblem for mother
Lily (orange) — hatred
Lily (tiger) — wealth, pride 
Lily (white) — virginity, purity, majesty, it’s heavenly to be with you
Lily (yellow) — i’m walking on air, false and gay
Lily (eucharis) — maiden charms
Lily (tiger) — wealth, pride
Lily of the Valley — sweetness, tears of the virgin mary, return to happiness, humility, you’ve made my life complete
Love—In—A—Mist — perplexity
Love—lies—bleeding — hopeless, not heartless

M

Magnolia — perserverance, dignity, nobility
Marigold — cruelty, grief, jealousy
Meadowsweet — uselessness
Mimosa — sensitivity
Mint — virtue
Mistletoe — kiss me, affection, to surmount difficulties, sacred plant of india
Monkshood — beware, a deadly foe is near
Morning Glory — affectation
Moss — maternal love, charity
Myrtle — love, remembrance, hebrew emblem of marriage

N

Narcissus — egotism, formality, stay as sweet as you are, self—esteem
Nasturtium — conquest, victory in battle, patriotism
Nightshade —  truth

O

Oak Leaves — bravery
Oleander — caution
Orange Blossom — innocence, eternal love, marriage and fruitfulness, wisdom
Orange Mock — deceit
Orchid — love, magnificence, rare beauty, refinement, beautiful lady, chinese symbol for many children
Orchid (cattleya) — mature charm

P

Palm Leaves — victory and success
Pansy (all colours) — thoughts, love and happiness
Parsley — festivities
Peach Blossoms — i am your captive, longevity
Peppermint — warmth of feelings
Peony — bashfulness, shame, indignation, happy life, happy marriage
Periwinkle (blue) — early friendship
Periwinkle (white) — pleasures of memory
Petunia — resentment, anger, your presence soothes me
Phlox — we are united
Pine — hope, pity
Poinsettia — be of good cheer
Polyanthus — pride of riches
Poppy (general) — eternal sleep, oblivion, imagination
Poppy (red) — pleasure, fantastic extravagance
Poppy (white) — sleep, consolation
Poppy (yellow) — wealth, success
Prickly Pear — satire
Primrose — I can’t live without you
Primrose (evening) — inconstancy

Q

Quaking Grass — agitation
Queen Anne’s Lace — fantasy
Quince — temptation

R

Rose (black) — death
Rose (bridal) — happy love
Rose (dark crimson) — mourning, 
Rose (deep red) — passion, bashful shame
Rose (hibiscus) — delicate beauty
Rose (leaf) — you may hope
Rose (orange) — desire
Rose (pink) — perfect happiness, please believe me, simplicity, grace
Rose (red) — love, I love you
Rose (tea) — I’ll remember always
Rose (thornless) — love at first sight, attachment
Rose (white) — innocence and purity, I am worthy of you, you’re heavenly, secrecy and silence
Rose (white & red mixed) — unity, flower emblem of england
Rose (white—dried) — death is preferable to loss of virtue
Rose (white with ivy) — purity of intentions and promise of fidelity
Rose (withered white) — transient impression
Rose (yellow) — decrease of love, jealousy, try to care
Rosebud — beauty and youth, a heart innocent of love
Rosebud (red) — pure and lovely
Rosebud (white) — girlhood, a heart ignorant of love
Rosebud (moss) — confessions of love
Roses (bouquet of mature blooms) — gratitude
Roses (single full bloom) — I love you, I still love you
Rosemary — remembrance, fidelity

S

Saffron — beware of excess
Sage — wisdom, long life, domestic virtue
Shamrock — lightheartedness
Smilax — loveliness
Snapdragon — deception, gracious lady
Snowdrop — hope
Spearmint — warmth of sentiment
Spider Flower — elope with me
Stephanotis — happiness in marriage, desire to travel
Stock — bonds of affection, promptness, you’ll always be beautiful to me
Strawberry — perfect goodness
Sunflower — haughtiness
Sweetpea — goodbye, departure, blissful & delicate pleasure, thank you for a lovely time
Sweet William — a smile, gallantry

T

Tamarisk — crime
Thrift — sympathy
Thyme — strength and courage, activity
Tulip (general) — perfect lover, frame, flower emblem of holland
Tulip (red) — believe me, declaration of love
Tulip (variegated) — beautiful eyes
Tulip (yellow) — there’s sunshine in your smile, hopeless love

V

Vernal Grass — poor but happy
Violet Tulip — modesty
Violet (blue) — watchfulness, faithfulness, i’ll always be true, modesty
Violet (white) — let’s take a chance

W

Wallflower — faithfulness
Water lily — purity of heart
Wistaria — I cling to you 
Woodruff — sweet humility

Z

Zinnia (magenta) — lasting affection
Zinnia (mixed) — thinking (or in memory) of an absent friend
Zinnia (scarlet) — constancy
Zinnia (white) — goodness
Zinnia (yellow) — daily remembrance