A/N: So, this is like not approving of Fifty Shades of Grey so if you are a fan of it you are free not to read. For the ones that are going to read know that there is not going to be any real graphic description of what Christian did to the reader but still, yeah. Some can also view it as if she used to be in an abusive relationship.
“And then you have a meeting with the board of directors which-” you stopped mid-sentence to hand him his coffee and take the bag with croissants from his hand (shoving them in your bag for him later), with one hand, while the other held your notebook close to you. Your eyes did not leave the notes in front of you even for a split second.
“-is not to finish before your father has represented you with his own opinion on the matter” you added, as you both walked down the pavement making your way to the black limo that was waiting for you there. You were the one and only personal assistant of Dean Winchester, CEO of the Winchester Industries, which he’d gotten control of after his father’s, John Winchester’s, retirement. He had another brother, Sam Winchester, famous lawyer of New York city whom did not want to have to do much with the family business. John seemed to trust Dean a lot so he allowed him to have full control of the industries in a young age - at least compared to other CEOs. John, however, had not stopped interfering in the management of the Enterprises so he would occasionally attend meetings.
“My father?” Dean asked, not really surprised though.
“Yes, he called this morning” you said simply, everyone had now gotten used to seeing the older Winchester attend meetings. Much to his wife’s, Mary’s, dismay. You had met her on your own since she used to work as John’s personal assistant, while you still had a small job to do in the Enterprises. When Dean (who would work in the Enterprises for a long time - just in a less significant position) took over, both Mary and John stopped working there. Mostly because Dean’s first decision as CEO of the Enterprises was to make you his personal secretary. You would be lying if you said you weren’t flattered. You had known him ever since you had started working in the Enterprises and (despite his many protests) you would always refer to him as ‘Mr. Winchester’. To you that’s what he was. Despite the position he had in the job he was still the boss’ son. Owner of the Enterprises too.
“Oh, 'k” he mumbled, voice still laced with sleep, and he took a big sip of his coffee. It was black with no sugar because you knew that’s what he needed mornings like this, when you had to literally drag him out of bed.
“And then-” you both entered the car as the driver held the door open for you. You got in first and then Dean, who liked to look out of the window sometimes.
“-you have a personal meeting with your Business Consultant to talk about-” you started speaking again only to be cut off by Dean groaning.
“Not that guy again!” he all-but-whined, throwing his head back for a second.
“I’m sorry but yes, Mr. Winchester. Your father has demanded that you see him again this month. It is of high importance that you-” you started speaking and he cut you off.
“That I talk with him about Management reserves, yeah I know” he groaned shaking his head.
“It is important, though” you said with a small smile.
“Yeah, yeah” he groaned more.
“Anyway, then you will have to sign some papers for your future collaborations with some of the greatest Enterprises of the country, oh and we need your approval for some important steps on-” you started speaking but you cut yourself off.
“The coffee’s not doing much, is it?” you asked him.
He glanced at you for split second, a small smile on his lips.
God that smile you thought to yourself.
“No, not yet at least” he said closing his eyes and resting his forehead against his seat “But it will have managed to make me wide awake when we reach our destination, hopefully” he mumbled.
“Well, you would have been already wide awake if you hadn’t stayed up till late, last night. Drinking a lot, for that matter” you told him a small smirk.
“Hey, what could I do? Tony invited me over since Pepper would not be there, so he wanted to unwind a little bit. You know how she is.” Dean said with a small shrug.
“Yeah, she told me she had to attend some meetings in order to settle a few things. The damages you and Tony did to the all those buildings while playing with his suits needed repair” you said, scolding him.
Dean merely snickered “Oh come on, you should have tried it too. It was a hell lot of fun” he laughed like a little child that was referring to its toys. Proud and happy.
And you couldn’t help but smile at hearing his laugh. You had known Dean for so long, like known fully well, his personality and all, and you couldn’t deny that you felt your heart flutter every time he laughed or smiled at you.
“Yeah, right. When angels start eating burgers” you mumbled under your breath.
“Ah you never know” he smirked at you and you rolled your eyes slightly.
“Either way, though, you know my friend, (Y/n). Tony never misses the chance to have fun. And neither do I” he added, taking a sip of his coffee.
“You never miss a chance to have fun?” you asked with a smile.
“I never miss the chance to have a drink from Tony’s bottles” he responded “While enjoying the company of a couple women of course” he mumbled the last part, as if he didn’t want you to hear, and took a drink from his coffee.
“A couple women?” you asked with a deep frown.
“Uh yeah. He-he had invited over a couple, you know-” he gave you a nervous laugh"-strippers" he hesitantly said.
Your look hardened and you put on a stoic face “Of course” you said with a fake smile and then averted your eyes from him.
“Poor Pepper. Has to put up with every woman Mr. Stark brings. Every morning she has to throw out a different one, don’t know how she manages” you shook your head.
“You know how Tony is. Everybody does in fact.” he looked down at his coffee when you did not respond.
“Hey, at least you’re lucky to be my secretary. I don’t bring a different one every night” he said trying to lighten the mood. A small smile was on his lips until he realized what he had said, his eyes widened.
“Yeah, lucky me. At least you go to sleep at their places” you said with sarcasm and Dean averted his eyes from you, opting to stare out of the window or down at his coffee. Anywhere but you.
He felt bad for doing this to you. Of course nothing had happened between him and any of the girls last night, despite Tony urging him to have finally some fun time and get laid. It was true that it had been a long while since Dean had gotten laid but he didn’t seem to care either. He couldn’t deny the feelings he had developed over the years for you. You were the one that had stood by his side whenever something had gone wrong. You were the one to always support him, no matter what. You were the one that always showed him the bright side of things. The one that in his darkest moments reminded him what hope felt like. Because you were his hope. His faith. The faith he had lost a long while ago but had gained thanks to you. You were always the one he needed by his side for any kind of matter and he had soon realized that you were the only one he needed by his side for much longer. For many more matters other than work or 'friendly’ support.
He had made a decision with himself that no matter what he was going to prove that he was not like Tony. That he was not a second 'genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist’ That for you he could be more - or well, less. He would cross out the word playboy (though he was not one as big as Tony himself) for you. Because he wanted to. He knew it. He wanted you.
“We’re there” the driver announced, breaking the awkward and completely uncomfortable silence that had settled between you and your boss.
“About time” Dean mumbled and this time you dared look at his direction.
“And where should we be now?” you asked him, frowning. Although you were his secretary and were the one to make his daily schedule, arrange his meetings and all, this time it was Dean that had made an arrangement. He had told you something about a meeting with an important CEO of some important Enterprises but other than that, nothing. He said that it was going to be a surprise for you to meet such an important person. You didn’t ask any further questions and you just complied. He was the boss after all.
“Ah well, you see-” he exited the car and extended one hand for you. You took it and got out of the car too. A tingling sensation was felt and you couldn’t help but smile. A soft smile was on Dean’s lips too, as soon as he saw the red tint on your cheeks. You took your hand from his and smoothed down your white blouse, fixing your pencil skirt.
“-As I told you a few days ago I got an phone call from an important person I had met at party of Tony’s and talked to about business. Finally after a while he said that he wants to collaborate with our company and I simply cannot deny such a unique offer. I didn’t tell you who it was because I thought it would be a pleasant surprise to-” he paused and moved to the side as you slowly averted your eyes from your skirt upwards.
“-see your previous boss again” he said with a small smile and looked up. Your eyes followed his and the smile that was previously on your lips faded away. A look of fear washed over your face as you came face to face with the name that after all this time you still.. dreaded to hear.
And the memories started flooding back. With every blink another one of the thousand memories you had from him. Christian Grey.
The mere thought of the name itself took your breath away. Not in the good way Dean did, though. No not that way.
It felt like someone was trying to strangle you. More and more memories rushing through you. Hitting you like… you would say a ton of bricks but that was not the right reference. Not in this situation, no. They hit you harder than bricks. They hit you like he had done. Christian. And it still hurt. The mere memory still hurt like… the whips he would give you.
You winced as you remembered the endless times he had done that. Tears clouded your vision and your bag and notebook fell from your hands. You trembling hands. You could not make them stop trembling. Just like your legs. You felt the whole ground shaking beneath you and your legs seemed to be unable to support your weight anymore. But you tried to hold on anyway. You clenched a fist to your shirt, near your heart, trying desperately to make it stop beating so rapidly; as if you actually could. You felt your lungs burning. You tried to get in as much air as possible, breathing quickly and deeply in and out. Trying in vain to get some air. It seemed as if someone had tied a rope around your neck - he once had - and you couldn’t get any air. It felt as if you were drowning. As if your life was slipping out of you, slowly and painfully, as memories of him rushed back. Tears had by now started streaming down your cheeks as you tried to cling onto anything that could show you that you were still alive. Your throat burned. It felt hot and dry just like your lips. Your whole body was in a shaking feat as more memories of him came back.
You had tried so hard to get over him - no, get over it. You had long ago gotten over him but- the things he had done to you had not only been 'written’ on your skin like the bruises and scars but also carved in your soul and mind. As long as you saw them and as long as you remembered what he had done to you, you would never be able to get over it. Someone had once told you to wrestle your demons but how could you wrestle your one and only demon when he seemed so more powerful than anything. How could you wrestle him when even the mere mention of his name had your whole body breaking down.
More tears streamed down your face and you gritted your teeth. Something you had gotten used to more than anything. It was the only way you knew to endure the pain. The pain he would cause you. Every time. You shut your eyes tightly, the tears never ending - from both the physical and emotional pain. It was mostly emotional now, yes, but what you had gone through all that time ago was enough to leave a permanent mark on you. A mark that every time broke you down. You tried to block the images that started to come back, the feeling of what he had done was always there. But when you saw darkness even more images would appear.
“(Y/n)!” Dean’s frantic voice was heard, effectively managing to break you trail of thoughts.
“(Y/n) look at me! (Y/n)!” he shouted and you opened your eyes to realize what had actually happened.
You were down on your knees, clenching your head in your hands, face stained with tears as you fought to breath in air.
“(Y/n)!” Dean’s panicked voice made you turn your head to look at him. He had knelled down to you, holding your face in his hands, eyes wide in fear and panic.
You found yourself suddenly being able to take in breaths as you looked back at the face of the man you had grown to love over the time. His gentle yet rough hands rubbing your cheeks and wiping out your tears, showing care.
“(Y/n)-” he started speaking again but you could not hold yourself.
You chocked on a sob and started crying more. Dean looked at you with a pained look and immediately hugged you. You buried your face in his chest as he rubbed your head. You cried more but when your crying finally soothed down, Dean pulled a little bit away. You already missed the warmth of his body and the feeling of safety you felt in his arms.
“Hey, hey it’s alright” he said in a rough yet soft voice “It’s going to be alright, ok? Everything is going to be alright. I promise” he whispered, rubbing your cheek.
You looked up at him with bloodshot eyes but did not dare to say anything, Your throat felt tight and you could not form any words.
“How about we-” he started saying, glancing for a moment at the side of the building; clearly meaning that you could get some help there, but you knew you couldn’t.
“No” your hoarse voice cut him off “Not there, please” your whispered and some more tears run down your cheeks.
“Ok, ok. Come on” he said and put your notebook and bag in your lap. He put a hand behind your back and another below your legs and lifted you bridal style. You took in a shaky breath and rested your forehead against his chest, clenching his shirt into your fist.
He walked a few steps, clearly to the car that was waiting down the street for you when you came out.
“Open the fucking door” he roared to the driver and you clenched his shirt tighter in your hand.
You felt him bent and get into the car. Your eyes would open and close from moment to moment, as if you faded in and out of consciousness. You would not lie, you felt really lightheaded and didn’t think you had the strength to even keep your eyes open.
But you knew you had to. You gathered all the strength you had and tried to get away from Dean, only for his grip on you to tighten.
“No, no stay there. It’s ok” he whispered, brushing a few hair out of your face.
You looked up at him in awe at seeing the adoration, care, protectiveness and worry written all over his face and mostly eyes. His forest green orbs not once leaving yours.
You looked up at him and let a smile appear on your lips. You nodded slowly, and tiredly, and rested your forehead on his chest.
“Close your eyes, princess, everything is alright now” he whispered, kissing your forehead and for the first time you actually didn’t care for being close with him in this way. You didn’t care that he was your boss because for the first time you actually felt safe.
“Charisa!” The door was nearly ripped off its hinges as Faith burst into the room, panting and disheveled, “Are you okay?”
Startled, Charisa nearly rolled off the edge of the bed, arms flailing as she tried to grab onto the railings. She had not really been expecting anyone to visit her - she thought she had made it clear to the hospital’s front desk that she did not want any.
“I’m fine,” she mumbled, looking away, “What are you doing here?”