Draco + Harry
“I have a thousand things to say, and a thousand reasons not to.”
This is what I told myself when Harry had asked me why I didn’t tell Bellatrix I knew it was him back in the Malfoy Manor. A few months has gone by since the Battle of Hogwarts, and everyday I still think about my shame. The disappointment I felt in myself when I was standing there in the Room of Requirement with the awareness of Blaise and Goyle hovering above my fear. I should of told you, Harry. I should of told you why. I should of told you that it was because I was in love with you. I didn’t acknowledge it much before. All my arrogance was focused on was being better - defeating the power within you that I wish I’d carried. Honestly all that power that I carried within myself - the hatred, the cruelty, the righteousness - it was all just a simple mechanism for myself. To hide my feelings for you. All those times I was almost alone with you, I had a chance. I had a chance to come clean. But there it was again - the judgement of my father, the fact that I seemed so worthy to him - stopped me from doing anything. That moment when we were together on your broomstick in the Room of Requirement while it was blazing itself to ash, I felt so safe. Even with everything that was being destroyed beneath us, it was the first time in a long time where I felt safe. Where I felt as though I didn’t need my father, my family or even myself. All I needed was my arms around your waist while you flew me to safety. My eyes were on the fire, but my mind was going to your Harry. That I was with you. I hope someday we can meet again with our families and children and I could finally tell you how much you meant to me. How much I wanted you but never felt worthy enough to have.
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