Okay so @chirpingisflirting said she’s been having a real poopy bday, so I thought I’d take a crack at a nurseydex hc (which became this lame ficlet chimera) for her! Here goes nothing! Literally!
I’d imagine that, early in Nursey and Dex’s relationship (say, four months in?), school starts hittin’ Dex hard; boy’s got assignments up the wazoo, some emergency fees come up and he takes a small job a few days a week at the school bookstore/convenience store, his life’s just a mess. Nursey’s trying to keep his cool and be understanding, but it’s driving him nuts. He hasn’t seen Dex outside of practice in like, a month and a half, and he keeps trying to text him and make the best out of a crappy situation, but Dex tends to fall asleep or get bogged down by a new assignment and just forgets to text back and or it’s been almost a day and it’d feel really awkward to answer now and… yeah. It’s really fucking with Nursey.
He’s been taking it slow with Dex (whom I headcanon as only recently really coming into his sexuality?) since the start, but it feels like he’s the only one who gives a crap sometimes. Nursey reminds himself that’s obviously not true, though, and that Dex is just obscenely busy and just… lays on the supportive texts, or brings extra snacks for Dex after practice/before class. Still, this can only go on for so long.
And it’s driving Dex crazy too, because he’s reading all the texts, and he can see how upset Nursey is every time he splits up with the rest of the team after breakfast to head off to class, and it weighs on his mind when he’s knee-deep in some cs problem. It’s his first real relationship (with a dude?), and he’s crazy for Nursey, but he feels like he’s only giving 30% when Nursey’s constantly giving 100% (which ISN’T TRUE; boy’s running himself ragged, here!).
So he works double time for like a week to give him enough slack to slack off for an evening. It’s Tuesday, and he texts Nursey around lunch to get dressed in something comfy and wait outside the Haus for him after dinner. Nursey’s totally confused and is so… idk? Anxious? What could Dex want to talk about? Can Nursey even take this anymore? Is this fair to him? He almost doesn’t reply or want to show up, but he’s a sucker for Dex, so he puts on a cute li'l sweater over a collared shirt and waits out front.
Dex pulls up ten minutes late (definitely unlike him), and Nursey and him drive off silently.
They pull up to this hill hidden between these real posh houses that overlook Samwell and the surrounding town, minutes pass, and Dex pulls a scrap of paper and a single, haggard looking rose from behind his seat, but he still won’t talk. He just stares down at the things in his hands, and Nursey’s somewhere between concerned and pissed.
“I stopped by the flower shop before they closed and picked this up for you,” Dex starts, hands on the rose he’s now jerking in Nursey’s direction, “but I realized I don’t even know if you like roses, and this is completely fucking cliché, and it got all fucked up because I kept fiddling with it, and- Jesus, Nurse. I’m sorry.”
Nursey just looks up and locks eyes with Dex for the first time all night. Concern is winning out over anger now. He takes the rose, and his eyebrows wrinkle in an almost sad way.
“Shit, Nur- Derek! Derek. Are you okay? I’m so, so–”
“I love it.” Nursey places his hand over Dex’s. Dex just blushes and goes silent again, his eyes returning to the scrap that’s getting closer to becoming, well, scraps.
“I know I’ve been really shitty about, well, us, recently.” Dex is breathing deeper now. “But I know how hard this is for you, and I think about you all the time, and I thought I could balance everything, but I-” Dex shrugs. “I guess I can’t,” he chuckles.
“And I guess I know how much you like poetry and stuff, and- just- I brought you here to tell you…” He stretches out the paper in his now shaking hands, and sucks in a sharp breath. Th- this. Just read this.“ He passes the scrap over to Nursey:
‘You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. And you feel like you’ve done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you’re tired. You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you didn’t even have a name for.’
"Yo, you know plagiarism is probably the least effective way to my heart, right?” Nursey chirps.
“I know that, idiot,” Dex starts. “I- I’m not saying I wrote it. I just-”
“I know, man.” Nursey’s hand tightens around Dex’s.
And then Nursey’s kissing him, and Dex could almost cry for all that he feels he doesn’t deserve it after this past month. They break apart soon, though, and Dex takes the moment to hold Nursey out at arm’s length.
“Hey, chill. I’m not blind, you know? You’re doin’ everything you can, Will. Just… just let me help you too, y'know? If you’re too busy to leave your damn room, let me come to you. It’ll kill me, but I can catch up on my readings and… not distract you.” He waits a beat for Dex to answer, and when he doesn’t, he continues, “Or I can meet you in between classes and walk you to your next one, or we can call each other… I just miss you.”
Dex’s eyes start darting here and there, like he’s looking for something in Nursey’s, and he finally answers: “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.” He’s sniffling now. “Let me do better.”
And with that, Dex leans in to kiss the smile sprouting on Nursey’s lips.
(And then vehicular cuddles. A lot of them. To the point where Nursey has to drive them back because Dex is half-asleep.)
[It’s finally happened, my thoughts on a pair of episodes
have ballooned to such a degree that I can’t put the all in one
post. The things this show does to me. I avoid BBJX altogether this week, but the post still includes spoilers through episode 11 of SH:R. Part 1 sticks mostly to episode 10 and the SoSoo dynamic. Part 2 will deal with Court Lady Oh, Wook and broader themes. Enjoy.]
talk about the unexpected positives that came out of the end of
episode 9: Contrary to what many people feared, Soo did not waiver
and begin to fall for So during the kiss scene, or at the beach, or
even during the makeup scene that followed. In
fact, Soo’s heart didn’t waiver throughout episode 10. She was very
firm and clear with So about her feelings, and seemed to have every
intention of marrying Wook and trying to make a life with him far
away from the intrigues of the palace.
think So’s sentiments are supposed to have a certain ambiguity, not
just for the audience but for Soo. Is he the dangerous, possessive
homicidal maniac who would kill for her without hesitation or remorse
(whether she wants it or not)? Or is he the emotionally
inarticulate little boy struggling to make his feelings known to her,
when the language of love is so totally unknown to him he can only
express it in warlike terms?
The answer I keep coming back to being…can’t it be both? A character like Wang So can be more
than one thing.
Sometimes I cry about my stutter, because it’s incredibly frustrating, and making my lack of social skills even worse. But then, I think about Odin, and everything gets better. Thank you Michelle for creating Odin Arrow, Thanks to him, I feel so much better about this speech disorder that has been following me since 4th grade. Ava’s Demon has taught me so many positive things, but this character is so important to me.
Time was a funny thing. The more you’d had, the faster it went by. How long had it been since the first human colony on Mars? Since the discovery of the cure for cancer? Since the first intergalactic human war? Since Alcor had made a deal to slaughter this city in exchange for some buffalo wings?
What, do you have any idea how hard it was to find buffalo-flavored anything at that time?
You know what I cannot stand it when anyone in the show calls Snow, Mary Margaret any more. Mary Margaret was the name that Regina forced Snow to have when she stole her life from her. Her name is Snow White. Yes it has been a long time but once the curse was broken and she had her own identity back they should have went back to calling her Snow. Mary Margaret is a fake personality that Regina made up to hurt Snow when she took away her happiness, her husband, her free will and her entire existence, to be honest. Just like everyone else in Storybrooke. Just because you live in different world than where you are from does not mean you become a different person.(except when the curse was on them but obviously I’m talking post curse here) It just feels like an insult to the victim to continue using their fake name as if to say that it doesn’t matter that she got the name from someone purposely trying to hurt her. It’s like saying that she doesn’t deserve to be herself anymore. It’s like saying Regina still owns her. Because get real when someone erases your memories, gives you fake ones, changes your entire life to something more suited to them and makes sure you are unable to do anything about it, that is control. Since she is no longer under Regina’s control she should only be called by her proper name. Which is Snow White.
So I’ve decided that for coming out day tomorrow (or I guess today now) I’m gonna officially come out to my entire extended family in South America over facebook. Idk why I’m even posting this. I literally have not been this nervous to come out to anyone in like 4 years.