Heyo This girl (kings vs. Cookin on 3 burners) with bruce-y
“Beautiful?” You felt a soft butterfly kiss on your neck as you groaned “Bruce go away.” You groaned into the white silk pillow smiling “Come on you have to get up. We have the awards tonight and it’s already 3 pm.”
You lunged up rushing to the bathroom “I LOOK LIKE SHIT BRUCE WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!” He smirked as he kissed your cheek wrapping his strong arms around you “I really do like the way you look when you wake up. You look like a goddess”
“You know what today is right?” You smiled hopping on the sink of the bathroom him stepping between your legs your arms snaking around his neck “It’s valentine’s day!” He smirked nodding his head kissing your forehead
“Bruce I need to run out to the store to get something for dinner. Are you going to wait here or are you staying here?” Bruce made sure you stayed in place “Babe tonight instead of going out why don’t we go to the sky deck? It’s a beautiful place and I think you would like it?”
Your smile lit up “Bruce! That place is so expensive! You’ll never buy my love it’s always been yours” Bruce smiled placing his hand up to your cheek rubbing his thumb on your soft skin “I know baby. I love taking you out.”
Your sweet voice spoke up as you struggled out of his grip “Come on bruce! It’s already 2 pm.” He smiled as you both went your separate ways to get ready. You went into your bathroom seeing a red dress and heels “Bruce…You really didn’t have to..” You smiled slipping the dress on
You curled your hair putting some makeup on hoop earring sliding your shoes on glancing at yourself in the mirror “Well time to go.” You looked at the time and by time you were done getting ready and done with your hair it was 7 pm
“Wow I take long showers” You smiled to yourself grabbing your purse getting into the car waiting outside for you “Alfred. Do you know what bruce has planned for me tonight?” Alfred smiled “I can’t tell you that Mrs.Wayne” You tilted your head whispering to yourself “Mrs.Wayne?”
Alfred smiled pulling up getting out of the car letting you out “Oh my god. It’s beautiful here.” You smiled nodding to alfred giving him a 20 “Keep it you deserve it. You struggle with our pain in the asses all year.” Alfred chuckled slipping into the car driving away
“You’re here.” You smiled walking in hearing a low raspy voice as you intertwined your fingers with his “Why wouldn’t I be here? You smiled resting his head on his shoulder an arm snaking around your waist
You two took the elevator up to the top floor and walked out to a white balcony seeing a table and a little rose with candles all around it “Bruce why did yo-” You heard a voice speak up “Hey I know that I might just be batman to you or that i’m just some husband but I love you.”
You smiled as you raised your eyebrow putting your hand over your mouth “Bruce…” He smiled again getting down on one knee opening a little box with a chocolate diamond inside “WIll you be Mrs.Wayne”
You smiled and nodded your head yes and huggedn him the ring being slipped on your finger mid hug as he whispered into your ear “Please don’t let go. Take my hand and hold me tight”
funny/embarrassing stories, please. have a pleasant night :)
Okay, so the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me/the reason my greatest fear is joining the military:
When I was a freshman in college, I was in this really tiny honors world lit class. There was this guy in my class who was in ROTC and would come to class in his fatigues sometimes and whatever. Once after the lecture he made an announcement to the class that the ROTC was having a wall repelling day that was open to the public that Thursday and that we should all come and it would be super fun.
I was 19 and up for pretty much whatever. I wanted to spread my little freshman wings and experience the world and like, wall repelling sounded hella fun. I made plans with my roommate, who was also in the class, to go on Thursday to this thing that was totally going to be a blast.
So Thursday rolls around and I make my way over to the armory for this shindig, thinking I’ll meet my roommate there. Well, she’s late and I walk in by myself.
It occurs to me as I push through the double doors to the armory that I don’t actually know dude’s name that invited us to this thing. I’m alone, just waltzing into this big warehouse looking building and I don’t know who the hell I’m meeting. I take the tiniest peek into the HUGE room at the end of the hall and see A SHIT TON of people in full army garb and NO DAMN CIVILIANS ANYWHERE.
I decide to abort the mission, as they probably don’t say in the army. I have a really crazy-stressful anxiety thing about being places I’m no supposed to be or showing up to the wrong event or whatever. I'm out.
As I am scurrying back down the hall for the front doors, this booming voice says, “Young lady."
I turn around, and General Fucking Patton is staring me down from the end of the hall. I am in full on panic mode. I’ve got the wrong day. I’ve got the wrong place. These are not the droids I am looking for. Shit.
"Can I help you?” Patton asks.
I’m stammering and literally scrambling backwards to get to the door.
“N-n-no, I’m sorry, Mr–Sir. I was just–classmate said some shit–SOME STUFF, SIR–about a repelling d-day. Obviously wrong..I’ll just–”
“Who told you this?”
“I– I’ll just go.”
“No, no. Who told you this?”
“I–I don’t know his name. He–he’s in my honors world lit class–”
And Patton turns on his heel and literally fucking marches me into the great big room at the room.
He yells: “COMPANY.”
THE ENTIRE ROOM OF LIKE 200 ARMY PEOPLE TURN ON THEIR HEELS AND STAND AT ATTENTION. LOOKING AT ME.
“Who knows this young lady from–”
*whispers*“–honors world lit–”
“–Honors world lit?”
COMPLETE SILENCE AS EVERYONE IN THE ROOM IS STARING AT ME.
Then this lone hand in the back raises, and not the boy from my class comes forward, ohno,the hugely douche-y jerk that I hooked up with like my second week of college because he was like 6'9 andIthoughtthatwouldbefun steps forward and claimsme.I tell Patton that I’m just going to go but he like shoves me over to Tall Jerk and then I was in the Army.
I make really bad small talk with this guy and say over and over how I just want to go, this is obviously the wrong day, there are NO OTHER CIVILIANS HERE and then they call us (BECAUSE I’M IN THE ARMY NOW) to attention. I’m about a half step behind everyone in falling in, then at-easing, and wtf else they had us do BECAUSE I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.
Patton talks about the missions, THE MISSIONS, for the day, and I am just sweating freely at this point. I am so not at fucking ease. Then we get divided into platoons or some shit and I’m, thankgoodness, still matched up with the only person I know in the room, Mr Tall Bootycall. We are marched outside to
THE OBSTACLE COURSE.
Let me remind you that I am still the only civilian in the crowd. Let me remind you that I am in skinny jeans and a cute, but fashionably rugged tank-top. With sequins. And I am easily the smallest person in the crowd.
So, turns out, this day is all about making it through the obstacle course or, as I was to find out, The Floor Is Lava With Terrorists. We apparently have to make human bridges to get across these fucking sandboxes of varying sizes and not touch the red places lest we blow up the entire platoon. And, as I am tiny, I am the one being tossed over walls TO SAVE US ALL and crawling over these bridges MADE OF DUDES and hopping and jumping through literal hoops in shoes that are technically sneakers but more accurately are something being worn by a back-up dancer in a rap video.
Far, far in the distance is the repelling tower. For our platoon, IT IS THE LAST STOP IN OUR ROTATION.
Fast forward two hours. My roommate never showed. Honors world lit dude never showed. I am still the only person in street clothes and I am currently being instructed on how to make my own harness out of rope.
I’m exhausted. I’m sweating and panting and am incapable of tying the knots that will keep me from plunging to my death. Tall Bootycall is helping me out (turns out, in my delirium, he’s pretty okay.) and I’m just mumbling, “I don’t want to repel anymore. I’m good, man, just call me a deserter and let’s be done with it.”
At this point, I’d be fine with being executed by firing squad for treason if is meant I could SIT THE FUCK DOWN.
Of course, I am instead hauled up onto the repelling wall.
Now would be a good time to mention that I am really afraid of heights.
I KNOW, SHUT UP. (I didn’t think this through. I was young. I was open to new experiences.)
So I ask to go down the short wall instead of the full-sized wall. The army guy on the mid-level told me that was not an option and they send me on up to the top.
I’m openly weeping at this point. The army dude at the very top says something along the lines of “There’s no crying in the army.” and pretty much dumps me off the top. I bounce and boink my way down to the sandpit below, utterly failing my platoon and not giving any fucks about it.
Once I hit the sandpit, I just keep on rolling down to the bottom of the hill, VOMIT EVERYWHERE and just run away,trailing the rope from repelling, still wearing my army-issued rope harness.
Into the sunset.
And that’s why my greatest fear is joining the army.