Oh, Daily Mail. You so trashy and weird. I particularly enjoy “It’s unclear how Kristen sustained the injuries, although she may have fallen on a night out.” What an amazing way to say “I’m making this up but maybe she was wasted and fell.” After inspecting Kristen’s injuries, I have another, less salacious, more likely reason for her sporting bruises on her knees and face: skateboarding. She’s a big skateboarder. We have an acquaintance in common and apparently Kristen just wants to smoke weed and skateboard and do hoodrat things with her friends. Skateboarding involves falling and scraping your knees, right? Seems a tad more likely for someone who plays a sport to experience a standard sport injury than for them to have fallen down shitfaced based only on the hypothetical musings of an unnamed Daily Mail reporter? Hmm?
This is the sort of breaking news and keen insight you can expect from this tumblr going forward.