I Need You

A/N: I’m back and not better than ever! I lost my motivation and I still don’t have it back but whatever it be like that sometimes. Anyways, enjoy!

Pairing: Y/N & Calum Hood

Word Count: 1,562

Warning(s): Swearing (like one word lmao)

Credit to gif owner

Originally posted by ghostsofhood

You and Calum could never not be best friends. He knew way too much about you and you knew way too much about him. The both of you were connected at the hip and it doesn’t get any closer than that. You knew everything there was to know about him. You knew his favorite foods, movies, bands, songs, his fears, his darkest secrets etc. And of course, knowing everything about him meant that he told you everything. From the heartwarming, exciting things like his love for music down to the heartbreaking things like his sexual relationships or him being dumped. Literally Everything. 

Apart from hearing the heartbreaking things, your inseparable bond came with another downside; It was a rather simple one. You had to deny every assumption and question of an intimate relationship. It was easy to deny the assumption because it wasn’t true, but that didn’t mean it was easy having to push away the long desired concept. It was something the two of you had forcefully gotten used to. It had been a question the both of you had received since middle school and it followed you up until today. Most of the time it was a brief conversation starter between the both of you and an assuming stranger.

“You guys are such a cute couple”

“Oh, we aren’t a couple.” Calum would say.

It was also a long-held theory for 5sos fan accounts. For all that, you knew that that specific question of if there was something between you and Calum and the million speculations had a different effect and meaning for the two of you. You were wounded every time, he was just over it.

Lately, he had been distant, almost as if he was tired of you; that was one thing you always anticipated. Growing apart. Growing apart scared you. Why wouldn’t it? You go from seeing a person you love every day until it slowly becomes never. It was an unbearable, mind suicide thought.

You were whipped for him. You would do anything for him no matter hardship and he would take it as a sign of friendship or kindness. Of course, you knew he would do the same thing for you, but maybe not in the way you meant it. And you see, that was the whole toxic thing about this friendship; you were secretly in love with your best friend and everything about him, but to him, you were just a friend.

Calum left for tour in a couple of days and you tried spending as much time as allowed, more than usual. His departure and absence during the times of tour were always hard but never impossible. He always came back. Comfortable silence was a big aspect of this friendship, but the silence in this situation wasn’t silent at all. It was a cry for help. It was different, yet you couldn’t figure out why.

“You leave for tour in a couple of days are we excited or sad?” You patted Calum’s thigh as you sat next to him on your couch.

“We? Whose we?”

“Me and you. Calum and Y/N. The bestest of friends is who I mean by we.”

“You can’t think or feel for yourself?”

“Ouch.” You felt your smile plummet. You looked at him for a sign of sarcasm, but he meant it.

“Look I have to get going.”

“But I thought we decided on you sleeping over?”

“Yeah well, things change. I Have to get extra stuff and I have to pack ev-“ He stopped himself. “I don’t have to tell you everything,” Calum said bitterly. Your heart ached and mind race.

“But we already packed your stuff like a week ago Calum,” you titled your head to the side, examining his sudden change of tone and attitude.

“Would you stop saying that.”

“Stop saying what?” 

“We. Stop saying we.” He demanded, getting up from the couch.

“Oh alright, I’m sorry.”

“And stop apologizing for everything. You always apologize even when you don’t need to.” He added.

“Right. I’m sor-” You unintentionally responded making him pinch the bridge of his nose.

“Are you still coming to the airport to say goodbye?” Calum asked you, turning the knob to your front door. You noticed he wasn’t looking at you. He was looking down at the ground with his mouth tighten, something he would only do when he tried to hold himself back from saying something he’d regret.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t miss it.” You smiled.

“I wish you would,” Calum muttered under his breath and closed the door. Your eyes furrowed in confusion, your heart ached some more, and your smile fell once again.

Your mind went into panic mode trying to figure out what exactly you had done in a matter of seconds to make him act this way. Maybe he was just in a bad mood? Whatever it was, it made you realize something. He never told you when their flight was set to depart or when you were supposed to be at the airport. He never told you about his day or how he felt like he betrayed Duke for smiling at another dog on his way here. He didn’t confirm that you were going to be the one to take care of Duke like you always did. And most importantly, he never mentioned what you had done to bother him like he usually would. For the first time in years, he didn’t tell you anything. The idea of growing apart from your best friend and the love of your life wasn’t too far-fetched.

Today marked the day Calum and the guys left for four months. It had also been a week since you last spoke to Calum and a week since you had slept a decent sleep. He hadn’t tried contacting you and you tried your best to back off. You couldn’t quite piece together why his attitude and tone towards you had changed. No matter how bad he made you feel, you weren’t going to let that stop you from saying goodbye to him or the boys. You texted Ashton knowing he had to be aware of the time they had to be at the airport; he was confused as to why you didn’t already know but so were you.

You drove down to LAX and you nervously waited at their terminal guarded by security and fought back tears when you saw Calum and the group walk towards the terminal discretely. Surprisingly no one had noticed them.

“Hey! Y/N!” Luke yelled, attracting the attention of some people and an elbow to the ribs from Michael himself.

“Ow dude what the fuck,” Luke moaned rubbing his ribcage.

“Boys! Sierra! Cryst- Oh my god is that Southy!!” You nearly yelled as you noticed the beige puppy.

“Nice to know who’s your favorite.” Ashton pouted.

“Oh c’mon, you know you’re my favorite pet out of everyone’s,” you teased Ashton, receiving laughs from the group. All but Calum. “How’s it going, guys?”

“First of all, I’m offended. And second of all, it’s three in the morning, Y/N. How do you think it’s going?” Ashton giggled while pulling you in for a hug. As your chin rested on his shoulder, you quickly glanced at Calum who was looking everywhere but in your direction.

“Are you all excited for Japan!?” You asked the group hoping to start a conversation so that you could analyze Calum. You knew everyone had noticed the awkward tension between the two of you when you hadn’t greeted him first. No one dared to acknowledge it and you tried your best to ignore it.

Seconds felt like hours as you felt Calum’s mean stare burned through your skin.

“Guys its time to load it up.” Everyone turned to one of the security guys.

“I wish you were able to join us,” Michael frowned.

“Hey, no worries. I’ll be fine. Plus, it’s nice to get away from you guys sometimes,” you laughed.

“You’ll join us for the LA show, right?” Luke questioned.

“Yikes, I don’t know dude. It’s not like I live here or anything.”

“Holy shit whose gonna be the sarcastic asshole of the group for four months?!” Luke said with a fake panic.

“Whatever, come here.”

You hugged all of them, said your goodbyes, and wished them nothing but the best of luck until it came down to Calum. He silently stared at you with a cold glare. You tried to go in for a hug, but he moved away from your touch and walked towards the terminal. Everyone, even Southy, looked at you with eyes full of sympathy and pity. You felt embarrassed.

“Calum, mate. Are you not going to say goodbye?” Ashton questioned. 

“Ash, its fine.” You instinctively defended him.

“She’ll find a way. She’ll text, call, and facetime. She’ll find a way to annoy me, she always does,” Calum sharply spat before he fully entered the terminal. Everyone’s mouth dropped including yours. You felt your eyes itch with tears, but you held them back since crying at an airport full of paparazzi and fans was not the ideal place to do so. You pulled yourself together.

“Good luck to all of you. I’ll be watching from home.” You weakly smiled and quickly headed towards the exit. 

You heard your name being called multiple times, but you knew that out of all those voices it wasn’t the voice you wanted it to be.

A/N: feedback is always cool!

Part 2!

nothing makes me happier than this picture