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“Justin honestly it just doesn’t make sense anymore…” I stated, sitting in front of my boyfriend of one year on the couch in our living room.
“What do you mean it doesn’t make any sense?” Justin asked looking confused. Letting out a sigh I rubbed my face with my hands trying to figure out how to explain this to him.
“Us. Everything just used to make sense and now nothing does.” looking into his hazel brown eyes, seeing sadness flashing through them. “I used to look at our relationship and understand what was going on and now everything’s just….a mess.” I looked down at my hands as I felt my eyes starting to water
Grabbing my hands in his, making me look up at him, he said “babe I-I don’t understand….what do you mean it’s a mess?”
Letting a sigh as I let my head fall, I thought about what I was going to say. Justin used to be so caring and understanding about pretty much everything, and lately it just feels like he doesn’t even try. “I just mean that it feels like you don’t want ‘this’ anymore” I pointed my to myself and then pointed at him “like, up until recently, whenever something bothered me you’d go out of your way to change it or fix it or if it wasn’t in your power to do anything about it, you’d just comfort me. But you just stopped. I don’t know if its because something I did but it just feels like you’re not trying to make us work anymore.” I said before taking my hands out of his and placed them on my thighs.
“What do you mean I don’t try anymore? I’m by your side no matter what and I love and respect you, what more could you possibly want from me? Justin said, irritation and hurt noticeable in his voice.
“If I told you about 6 months ago that something you did bothered me you’d actually try to change it but now? now the only thing you do is give me empty promises and it hurts, okay? It just feels like you’re not doing anything to change things in this relationship for the better.”
I could tell Justin was thinking about what I said by the way he star ed into space and didn’t respond for a few seconds. Finally shaking his head to get out of his trance, he looked back and me and said “(Y/N) that’s bullshit, seriously. Of course I try making this work, I never want to lose you. Maybe you’re too busy to notice…”
Looking anywhere but him, I thought about the least hurtful way I could say what I had in mind. After a long, silent minute I finally said “well it seems like we both feel differently about the situation….I think we just need a break, Justin.”
Finally looking into his eyes I saw hurt and confusion flashing through them, making my heart ache “a break?” he said quietly, his voice cracking a little.
“Yeah…..I think we should take a break before we both get hurt, because I think it’ll be too much for the both of us..I’m not sure this is the right decision but I’d rather take a small break than lose you forever”
“I don’t want to take a break tho! I understand we’re facing a problem but us separating is not the answer. We can work it out baby, I just know we can, please don’t give up.” grabbing my hands again he held them tight to his chest as he look desperately into my eyes.
Letting out a sigh I bite my lip. ‘I knew it wasn’t going to be easy’ I thought to myself. Getting my hands out of Justin’s grab I placed them softly on each of his cheeks, and said “Justin, us taking a break doesn’t mean we wont be able to talk or see each other, and it definitely doesn’t mean that I don’t love you anymore….but we cant keep this up. We stay in the same position and I’m sick of it. Aren’t you? I just want things to go back to the way they used to be.”
Laying his hands softly on top of mine he said “I just don’t understand what’s different now? what do you mean by ‘how things used to be’?”
“To be honest Justin I just think we lost that spark we used to have. I used to get butterflies whenever you’d send me text or whenever I heard your voice and I just don’t feel them anymore. I don’t want to feel that way anymore Jay! I love you so much and I just want our relationship to be like it used to be” I said as I rubbed his cheeks with my thumbs
“I honestly don’t know what to say…” he stared into my eyes before he continued “are you sure about this?”
I took a deep breath and said “I might be wrong about this but we’re going to lose each other if we continue to fight. My heart is just not sure about anything right now but I just feel like we’re staying at the same place. It feels like whenever we’re heading the right way we just turn right back around. We take one step forward and two steps back…”
Justin was silent for a few minutes, his eyes never leaving mine, and his hands held mine tight. He placed a light kiss on the top of my right hand every few seconds but kept it close to his mouth the whole time. Finally, after what felt like forever he opened his mouth to speak.
“I just think we were cruising down honeymoon avenue, and now we’re over that phase. We just need to figure out what’s going on and how we deal with the whole situation and I honestly think that taking a break is not the to do it. I just know we can make this work again babe, but we need to do this, together ”
Looking into Justin’s eyes I saw nothing but love. I felt my eyes starting to water as I my eyes traveled down his face landing on his pump, pink lips. Grabbing his face firmly with both of my hands I leaned in for a kiss. Stopping just a few millimeters before our lips could touch I whispered “let’s go back” and smashed my lips onto his, spilling every emotion I had into the kiss, trying to make him understand anything, but mostly trying to make him feel just how much I love him.
(( Based off the song “Honeymoon Avenue” by Ariana Grande - anon request))
HOPE YOU ALL LIKED IT! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! I LOVE YOU BABES<3