Okay, you know how humans are weird and all? Now imagine explaining honey badgers to aliens.

Alien: Wait, so even though you’re the dominant species on your planet, you have another species that’s even more resilient and fearless than you?

Human: Yeah. Honey badgers don’t give a shit.

Alien: How did you manage to control them?

Human: *shrugs* Honey badgers don’t give a shit.

Alien: *face palms*

cuil-chan  asked:

Can I also point out that when Mila said "Come on yuri, Otabek's probably real upset about losing against you" I just imagined an intercut scene where Otabek is in the club, gradually turning the music up and banging his head to rock music like the real champ he is, finger banging free shots for customers who dance like they mean it, while Mila keeps saying stuff like "He's probably real sad, just leave him some space, honey"

it’s so fcking hilarious that everyone goes all rom com tryna reunite yuri with otabek so they can “fix” things, meanwhile beka is jus chilling doing his thing & thinking abt what late night takeout he can bring yuri to make it up to him

anonymous asked:

There is no way to exploit an animal and love them at the same time (regarding beekeeping)

Let me tell you a story about two beehives.

We’ve all seen a beehive in the wild, yes? If you have not, it’s a small thing with very limited space for honey and brood. The bees spend days of labor to build this entire hive with not so much space, which leaves less time to collect precious honey for the winter. “We must hurry!” Say the wild bees. “Soon winter will come and we need to stock up on food!!”

Now let’s move on to the beekeeper’s hive. It’s nice and big, with lots of space and a grid that makes it easy to build honeycomb and fill it with nice sweet honey. “We have lots of space and spare time with this nice big new home!” The bees say, and they fill the whole thing up with food storage and nurseries.

“HA!” Laugh the wild bees. “Your hive is full, and now you have nothing to do!”

“No matter” say the honeybees. “Our beekeeper has added a whole new room to our hive! Now we can collect and store even more honey and brood!” The honeybees and wild bees continue to collect pollen and nectar, when suddenly, an epidemic of mites comes to bee meadow!

“These mites are awful!” Says one wild bee to another.

“They sure are!” The honeybee colony agrees.

The wild worker scoffs and says with a smug tone “Where is your beekeeper now? Surely they cannot save you from this terrible sickness!”

“Our beekeeper came by yesterday, and cured us of our mites!” The honeybee happily replied. “And they’re putting up a fence tomorrow because they heard there are predators in the area!”

Spring and summer passed by as usual. All of the bees collected pollen and nectar at their own pace.
Then, one autumn afternoon, the hive of wild bees discovers that the honeybees had been ROBBED! Robbed by their own beekeeper!

“HA HA!” Laughed the wild bees. “Your beekeeper betrayed you! And now you will never survive the winter! All of that protection and safety for naught!”

“Actually, we have plenty of honey.” The honeybees say. “We have even more than you do!”

It was true. The wild bees were stunned to see that their neighboring hive had plenty of honey to get by on, while their own honey stores would just barely get them through the winter.

“Well I’ll be!” the wild bees exclaim. “Maybe this beekeeping business isn’t as bad as I thought!”

In short, if you buy from a kind local beekeeper, the honey that comes to your kitchen is always going to be EXTRA honey. Honey the bees made way too much of because they had the resources to do so. When we take honey, we carefully brush each bee off of each frame and take extra special care that nobody gets hurt.

I hope you can understand what I’m trying to say. Also, commercial beekeepers tend to not be quite so good. They take all the bee’s winter supply and feed them sugar water (still fairly safe!), they have too many hives in one place and exhaust their resources, etc etc.

In the shortest of short; Support local beekeepers. More safe hives means more safe bees. Plant bee flowers. Be kind. (Bee kind, heehee.)

Sorry for the long post, and please enjoy the rest of your day.

“I have no knowledge of babies” - Sherlock Holmes x Reader

#9. Shopping for baby supplies. Yay some more Sherlock ! I fucking love that show…anyway, I really hope Sherlock isn’t OOC, I really tried to make it as in character as possible…AS USUAL, ANY FEEDBACK IS WELCOME :DI really hope you guys will like it : 

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)


Before meeting you, Sherlock never thought about having children. 

Hell, he never even thought about having sex at all ! It just wasn’t something that ever interested him. He always pegged such activities as a big waste of time, utterly useless. And yet, when he met you, all of his strong beliefs in the subject shattered. He already felt very strange when he met “the woman”, Irene Adler, but you ? Oh it was something else. 

For starter, you were way smarter than Irene, and that was saying a lot. You often found solutions to problems before Sherlock, which he thought was infuriating…and yet which also made him extremely attracted by you. You quickly plagued his every thoughts, and he found himself craving for your presence more than once. When he confessed those weird things he was feeling to John, the ex-military doctor chuckled and told him :

-There’s nothing weird in what you’re feeling Sherlock, you’re probably just sapiosexual. Which would explain a lot. 

-Excuse me ?

-You’re sexually attracted by intelligence. Only, so far, you never met anyone that was smart enough to take your fancy.

-My brother is more intelligent than me and I don’t… 

-…Of course you had to make it weird. You know damn well what I mean, and you’re lying to yourself if you say you don’t feel something when (Y/N) is around. 

-I feel things alright, I just don’t know how to explain them.

-Some feelings cannot be explain. They’re just there. In your heart, in your mind, everywhere in your being. 

-That’s ridiculous. 

-Whatever you say Sherlock, whatever you say. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi!!!~ I found your blog an hour ago and just about finished reading all the shinee scenarios, and they always leave me laughing! I took my driving test today (& passed yay!) and was wondering if you could possibly do one of the Shinee members taking their driving test?

thank you and congrats baby!! omg the driving test….. when i took it apparently the four cars that were in front of me ALL failed and the first thing my father said to me when i got out of the car was like “you failed right” and i was like “whAT NO” and when i called my mom she immediately asked if i failed to and i was like ok wai you have 0 faith in me 


  • passes easily 
  • people fail the driving test??????
  • oh
  • well he passed 
  • keeps blinking when he gets his picture taken for his license 
  • staff: “are you doing this on purpose” 


  • @ administrator: r u sure you don’t want to listen to his new mixtape while they do the test
  • lowkey humming it while he drives anyways 
  • admin can’t even say anything bc he’s a good driver 
  • unconsciously puffing out his cheeks while he makes turns 
  • when filling out information for his license, for height: writes 173cm FIGHT HIM


  • rolls up his sleeves
  • checks mirrors, checks hair 
  • let’s do this 
  • makes sure that he’s going EXACTLY the speed limit bc he’s not taking any chances 
  • has to stop bc there are geese crossing and he’s like ._.
  • omfg why does he look like that in his picture why would they not tell him he wants to speak with someone 


  • clutching the driver’s manual and furiously flipping through it until right before the administrator calls him over 
  • 90 degree bows to them 
  • when it’s time for him to parallel park he keeps going in and out of the space and the admin says “whenever you’re ready you can put it in park” and he says ok but he’s wants it to be perfect so that he keeps adjusting until the admin’s like “honey we’re in the space you can park” 


  • turned on the wipers accidentally when he was trying to signal and he just froze 
  • looks at the admin like his soul left his body and they were like “it’s… okay……. it’s just one mistake it’s fine” bc omg he looked like his life was OVER
  • when he passes he smiles in his pic even tho they told him not to 

there isn’t a theme song that follows dan and phil everywhere in real life but if there was it would be themed around bright and happy moments and space and honey and city lights with a good beat and saxophones and maybe a cheeky flute solo in the middle to spice it up

Hi! So…I’ve spent a lot of time thinking what I want to happen in today’s clip or what I think may happen or I don’t even know anymore. And I ended up writing something. To be honest I wasn’t going to publish it because I don’t want to be disrespectful with the situation, since I’m not muslim I have never been in Sana situation and I don’t feel entitled to write from her point of view. I know it’s a very delicate theme and I wouldn’t want to upset anyone. But since yesterday you were all so kind to me I decided to give it a try. So here it is, my take in today’s future clip.

Sana hasn’t leave her room since last night. She can hear noise downstairs, she knows they have visit and she knows who that is. She can hear the boys laughing, her brother’s friend, but there’s one that is more than that…at least that’s what she thought. She’s spent the whole night thinking about the situation. How could everything have gone so wrong in a few seconds? In the time that it takes to send a text message her heart had been broken.
She looks at her phone, she still hasn’t answer to his last text, she doesn’t think she would. What can she say? She doesn’t even know
Her mom has been trying to get her out of her room the whole morning, she hasn’t even had breakfast. Her excuse? “I’m sorry mom I haven’t sleep very well, I want to stay in bed for a bit longer”
Of course when it’s almost noon her mom doesn’t believe that excuse anymore.
She calls Sana and ask her to please come, she needs her help. Actually what she wants is to know what’s going on with her daughter. She has a pretty good idea about what happens, teenage love is affecting her but still she needs to get out of her bedroom.
Sana please come onshe repeats

Sana knows that she has to leave her room eventually and if she doesn’t her mom is going to be upset, so she looks at herself in the mirror and try o fix her make-up so it doesn’t seem like she hasn’t sleep at all. Yup. Not working. She takes a deep breath and gets out of her bedroom.
Her mom is waiting for her in the kitchen, already cooking lunch. As Sana enters the room she tries so hard not to look at the living room where the boys are, but of course she can’t help but looking and of course Yousef is looking at her and of course he’s smiling at her in that way that gives her goosebumps. She avoids his eyes trying to look indifferent. A few seconds later when her eyes return unconciously to him she can’t help but notice the hurt look on his face while he faces the floor biting his lip.
Are you feeling better?” Sana’s mom ask
Huh? Yeah, yeah I am…bad night that’s all
Okay…can you help me cook?”
“Yeah, I know, I know your husband is going to cook but still I could use your help”
“Husband? Whose husband?
” a masculine voice startles her.
She turns around and sees her brother Elias on the kitchen door. He’s not alone. Yousef is standing by his side trying to catch Sana’s eyes but she refuses to look at him.

“Oh I was asking your sister to help me cook but she says she’s marrying a man who can cook so she doesn’t need to learn” Mrs Bakkoush says
“Well, good luck finding him, sis” Elias says laughing
“Well, in fact, she may have already found him” Sana’s mom whispers
But of course everyone in the room hears her
“Mom!” Sana says in disbelief.

Now she can’t help but look at Yousef. He’s looking right a her with a mix of surprise and affection. He’s not stupid, he knows who her mom is talking about. He starts to smile but Sana turns her eyes to the floor before seeing it, it would hurt too much

“Wow, you’ve found a muslim boy who can cook? You like him Sana?” Elias asks teasing his sister

She bites her lip trying to hold the tears because yes, she had found a boy who can cook, and not only that. She had found a smart, kind, funny boy. And yes, she liked him, she liked him a lot. But no. He wasn’t muslim.

“No. I haven’t found one.” She says glaring at her brother.

From the corner of her eye she can see Yousef looking at her, again that hurt expression because he knows, he knows exactly what she meant with that.
He knows he’s screwed up big time. He knew how much her faith means to Sana. He knows that he should’ve been honest with her from the start, before the flirting had begun. But he was so gone for her before it had even started and he knew if he told her, there was a big chance he would lose her, just like it was happening now.

“Sana…but you said…” Her mom starts but Sana interrupts her
“Oh mom, I’ve just remembered. I was meeting my friends for lunch today. Actually I should go now if I want to catch them. You don’t mind, right?”
she almost beggs her. It wasn’t a “please let me go with my friends” it was “please I need to get out of here, please don’t ask me why, please just let me leave”

Her mom looks at her a understands, she doesn’t know what is going on but she knows her daughter needs some space

“Sure, honey. You can go”

And with that she turns around without even looking at the boys because is she does she knows what she’s going to find. Confusion, pain and what terrifies her the most, love.

She’s been walking for a few of minutes now when her phone beeps

Yousef Acar: “Where are you? Can we talk?”

She thinks the answer to those questions in her head.
Where is she? She doesn’t know. She’s in the middle of the street not knowing where to go. Who can she talk to? Who would understand?
Second question, can they talk? No. They can’t. At least not now. She needs to think. About everything. She doesn’t know what to say. She doesn’t know what to think. She just can’t deal with this right now.
She puts her phone in her pocket without answering and continues walking without a destiny.

Okay, this is way too long. And I know I know the ending is horrible but it’s my take in today’s clip so I know nothing is going to be resolved today. It needs time
Again, I’m really sorry if this upsets anyone, I promise that was never my intention.
If anyone feels this is disrespectful please feel free to tell me and I’ll erase it. The last thing I want is to make anyone feel bad

Also sorry for the bad grammar but as you may know english is not my first language

THANK YOU for reading

anonymous asked:

can u rec good jaykyle fics? just no smut pls..


Okay but I’m totally imagining Kara coming to terms with the fact that she and Lena appear to be dating, she’s not quite sure how it started but doesn’t want it to stop, she just wants some pointers because she wants to plant one on the lovely Luthor and it’s different this time because it’s the first woman she’ll have kissed and it just feels special. Oh for the sake of this Mon-El was thrown into a volcano or just never conceived, pick one. ANYWAY so who else is she going to turn to for lady advice other than her big sister and Maggie? So she flies on over there, she’s Supergirl no need to make a phone call. She whooshes in, hears a muffled swear word then sees too much with her x-ray vision when she looks at the bedroom door.

She apologises “Sorry! … Nice tattoo, Maggie” Alex is blushing, Maggie is laughing her sweet ass off. They appear, robed and adorably dishevelled. Alex immediately worries and wants to know what’s wrong with little sis, Kara starts babbling while Maggie makes coffee. After a few minutes Alex stops her, and pats her on the arm and says something like “Honey, everyone in Space knows that you and Lena Luthor have the hots for each other, your perception of secrets is a little worrying actually..” Kara makes a face, Maggie snorts into her cup.

“Okay, clearly I suck at secrets, but please help meeee” Kara pleads, whines a little, and almost hops on the spot. Maggie grins as Alex playfully rolls her eyes.

“So she’s your first kiss with a woman, don’t make it into a bigger deal than it needs to be. You like her, so when you’re having a moment with her if it feels right lean in” Maggie tells her with a smile.

“AND you know she’s going to kiss you back so it’s just a question of who moves first really” Alex winks and nudges her sister. “You’re Supergirl, Kara. You save the world, you save aliens. This time I get the aliens ‘cause it’s your turn to get the girl.”

Kara leaves feeling confident and calls Lena saying she’s in the neighbourhood. They talk, laugh over drinks. Lena’s halfway through a sentence when she notices Kara watching her intensely, she licks her lips and watches Kara tense up.

“Kara?” “Hmm?” She asks her still in a daze. “You seem tense, how does a shoulder rub sound?” Kara doesn’t answer, she takes a breath before scooting closer, taking off her glasses. “You look like you have something to say… Supergirl” Lena smirks, quirking an eyebrow, daring her crush on. “I do have things to say, but later” She boldly reaches out a hand, resting it on Lena’s thigh. Lena who closes the last inch between them, her voice becoming breathier than before. “Later hm? Later sounds good”

A few weeks later Alex accidentally sees what Kara’s been googling and wishes that she hadn’t, though she’s thankful she wasn’t asking her about sex :’)

Kumi Told Me Not to Break Her But I Did That Shit Anyway

Title: The Angst Train (IDK, change later)

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Summary: Inspired by Fall Out Boy’s Miss Missing You.  It’s mostly Angst, I don’t even have a summary for this. Flashback in italics.

Word Count: 3431

Warnings: ANGST, a shooting, triggering episode, Winter Soldier, Violence.

A/N: So in writing this not only do I break my unscheduled creative hiatus (I blame writer’s block), but I’m also revealing a secret identity. This is all for the death of @mellifluous-melodramas

Your whole body ached. Your eyelids felt as if someone had tied 60 pound weights to them, breathing was done in short quick bursts so as to to agitate the handful of cracked ribs you’d sustained on the mission. Clint was flying the quinjet, or at least he was sitting in the pilot’s seat. It’d been you, Clint and Sam on this mission and you were all pretty beat up. Sam had a gash on his forehead that had needed stitches, you’d done it before the post-adrenaline crash had occurred. Now all you wanted was to go home, get a shower, and cuddle up to your boyfriend and fall asleep watching tv.

It hadn’t been easy starting a relationship with the former Winter Soldier. There had been a lot of hot and cold moments from that man. He would either flirt with you relentless or wouldn’t acknowledge your presence. You hadn’t let that stop you, you were naturally sarcastic and would turn to that whenever Bucky was pretending you didn’t exist.

The guys had gone out to a bar for a well deserved guy’s night. You’d opted for the couch potato option. Clothes in the comfiest clothes you owned, and surrounded by a mountain of junk food, you mindlessly munched while you binge-watched a show on the big screen on the common floor.

You hadn’t realized how late it had gotten until the boys returned home. You’d been alerted to their presence by Clint’s loud giggling, that could only mean he was drunk. You heard some shushes, as Steve hustled everyone onto the common floor. No doubt in search of water to combat everyone’s undeniable hangover. Clint and Sam fell, giggling onto the couch where you’d been curled up.

“I see we all had a fun time out tonight.” You commented, getting up to help Steve find water bottles for everyone.

“It was like herding cats, (Y/N).” Steve hissed, when you stepped into the kitchen. He was pinching the bridge of his nose, and sounded exhausted.

“So, I’ll help you put the cats to bed and then you could go to bed.” You told him, grabbing out an armful of water bottles from the fridge, and turning back to see if Steve was ready. He gave an exasperated sigh and followed you out into the living room.

“Bedtime, kiddos.” You said, grabbing Clint by the arm and pulling him up off the couch. Steve grabbed Sam first, and then went to get Bucky who was sitting in the recliner.

“I’m not tired, Stevie.” He slurred, and Steve backed down. You muscled Clint, and Steve manhandled Sam into the elevator, and then put them down in their beds. When you left you reminded Clint to drink his water, or he would feel it tomorrow. You said goodnight to Steve and went back to finish the episode you had been watching.

After a few moments of watching the figures on the screen move, you became aware of the weight of a gaze laying upon you. You subtlety flicked your eyes in Bucky’s direction, and sure enough he was watching you and not the tv.

“Something on my face, Barnes?” You questioned, turning to give him your attention. His gaze remained trained on you, like a sniper focusing on his target. But his face softened when he smiled at you.

“No, it’s just radiantly beautiful.” He sounded more like himself. You flashed him a bright smile, wheels turning to come up with a witty response.

“Thanks, your’s isn’t ridiculously painful to look at either.” Was the response that fell out of your mouth. It was good enough to earn you a soft chuckle, and you’d die to hear more of that noise. Hell, you’d die to see more of this carefree, peaceful man in front of you.

“You drive me insane, and you don’t even have the slightest idea what you do to me.” It was a statement that could turn this conversation real heavy, and in just a few milliseconds. You decided you were going to jump off that ledge, consequences be damned.

“So, why don’t you ask me out, Barnes? I think I’ve made my flirting just about as obvious as a brick wall. What’s stopping you?” You asked, there were several reasons you could think of. But what did this beautifully damaged man have going on inside his head? You watched him struggle for a minute to come up with a good answer.

“I’ll be real honest here, I couldn’t lie even if I wanted to with this much alcohol coursing through my system.” He paused, trying to make light of the situation and to compose himself. “The Winter Soldier.” That answer hit you like a ton of bricks. Your mind whirled, trying to find the proper words to say, and to convey your feelings.

“I have a lot to say, so let me start with. That wasn’t you, that was conditioning. You’ve never done anything to hurt me, and you never would. I trust you explicitly. Have you saved my ass out in the field? More times than I can count, and you know how much I like my ass. This,” you pause to gesture between the two of you. “Can’t go anywhere without communication. And let me tell you, I’m a consenting adult. If I say that I want a relationship with you, which I do, it’s with all the pieces of you. Including your Winter Soldier past, emphasis on the past part. Alright, I’ll shut up now.” Your voice had an edge in it, you always got very defensive when it came to the whole misconception of the Winter Soldier being a villain. The man behind the mask wasn’t a villain he was a victim, and now he was looking at you like you had twelve heads.

“And if I’m triggered?” He asks, the other question is there. Could you do what needed to be done given a mental apocalypse was occurring. Again, your mind was running a million miles a minute.

You stood up, stepping around the coffee table. You stop in front of Bucky, placing an arm on either armrest and lean into his personal space. “Honey, I would take a bullet for you. We’ll cross the bridge if it ever happens.” You tell him, and apparently that answer satisfies the man because he reaches up, pulling you forward by the shirt to capture your lips with his own.

When you woke up the next morning, you weren’t sure if Bucky would remember what had happened between the two of you. But when you rolled over, almost hitting him in the process, he was already awake and watching you.

“I was afraid the alcohol had made me dream up last night, couldn’t open my eyes to check either. If it had been a dream, and I’d opened my eyes it would have come to an end. That might have killed me, doll.” He says, and your first instinct is sarcasm.

“Who knew that James Buchanan Barnes could be so sappy?” You teased and he laughed pushing your shoulder. “Don’t knock me out of my own bed.” You joke, grabbing onto his arm to regain your balance.

“Like I’d ever let you fall. Been there, done that, got the metal arm to prove it.” He jokes, and you can’t believe that he’s in a place where he can joke about the event that started his decades of pain.

Ever since that night, the two of you were a thing. Bucky was caring and gentle, and you were sarcastic and goofy. It was a good partnership, and after the hard mission you’d just been on. You wanted your cuddle buddy, and some much needed sleep. Which was a whole lot closer than you thought it was, as Clint parked the quinjet in the hangar of the Tower. You shuffled off to the elevator, sharing with Sam, down to the floor you shared with Bucky.

Stepping off the elevator, you realized instantly that something was off. Normally, Bucky would be waiting for you on the couch. He’d have a first aide kit, and snacks for whatever you wanted to fall asleep watching. Now, he wasn’t on the couch. You shuffled into the kitchen, to find that empty, too. You sighed, deciding to go take your shower and just go to bed.

When you walked into the bedroom, you felt the cold predatory presence before you saw him. Bucky’s worst nightmare was coming true. The man you loved was being piloted by the Winter Soldier, and he was aiming a gun at you. You put your hands up, keeping steady eye contact with the dead gaze of the Winter Soldier. You knew there was only one hope of a solution, finishing the mission. It was clear that that mission was you.

“Buck, I know you’re in there. It’s not your fault. I love you, sweetheart. But you gotta finish the mission.” You said, taking slow deliberate steps toward the Winter Soldier. He allowed you to approach until the cold muzzle of his pistol was situated in the middle of your chest.

“I’m the mission, finish it.” You stated, staring into the ice cold stare of the man that you’d take a bullet for. It was a shame that he was behind the trigger. “Bucky, I love you. Don’t fight him, it’s not your fault. It’ll be okay.” You said, and you heard the gunfire. In the next second, the pain exploded in your chest like a shockwave and you crumpled to the floor.

You were vaguely aware of heavy footsteps stepping over you, before the pain became too much for you and you succumbed to the darkness.

Bucky’s POV (First person):

He had killed her, the monster that HYDRA made. With her final breath went my will to live. I wanted control over my body again, but what could I do. Hold her lifeless body and picture all the missed moments we had. How we’d never get married, nor would we have a family together. There would be no house with a white picket fence, and children running around the yard. There would be only pain.

He steps over her as she struggles, he doesn’t even stop to confirm death. Just stalks over top of her, out into the living room she’d decorated. There should have been a protocol put in place for this, FRIDAY should be able to lock down the Tower. Instead, he jams the up button. I’m not even sure of all the details of this mission, but obviously they thought killing (Y/N) wouldn’t be enough to break me. How wrong they were.

The Winter Soldier gets into the elevator, pressing the button for the gym. I know that the only person at the gym now is Steve. They either want him dead or alive.

He gets off the elevator, the only sounds coming from flesh hitting sand filled bags. Steve must be upset about something, won’t he be in for a surprise when the Winter Soldier shows up. He stalks into the gym without saying a word.

“Hey, Buck what’s - FRIDAY.” Steve calls as he realizes that the body in front of him is the Winter Soldier. Good for that little punk, only took fifteen seconds. He’s shooting at Steve, they must want him dead too. Because they haven’t taken everything from me already. Steve jumps into the air twirling and landing on my body’s shoulders. He uses the momentum to knock it over, and even hits my head against the floor hard enough to cause a concussion.

That makes him mad. He kicks Steve off my body and gets back to his, my, feet. Both take defensive stances, but he is more animal than Steve could be. They go back and forth, Steve lands a hit and then he gets one on Steve. It seems to be an even fight, until the elevators open and Sam, Clint and Natasha get off it. Nat’s face is angry, and she charges for the Winter Soldier. Pulling her signature thigh grab move, and it, we, go down hard. Steve runs over to hit my head on the floor again, and we black out.

The first thing I’m aware of when I come to is the headache. In the next second, I’ve relived what’s happened and my eyes snap open trying to sit straight up in the bed they’ve put me in, but a hand stops me.

I look up at Steve. “(Y/N)?” I ask, and Steve sighs. He doesn’t want to tell me. My eyes dart around the room, they’ve placed me in one of the medical suites. I caught a glimpse of movement but the door, and look as Bruce walks into the room. He looks like he’s been up most of the night.

“We did some brain scans, had Wanda search through your head, too. And we’re still not sure how you were triggered. We need you another hour for observation, but then you’re free to go.” Bruce says, turning to leave. I almost let him, but if Steve won’t tell me. Maybe Bruce will.

“(Y/N)?” I question again, and Bruce visibly stiffens. He turns back around and there’s a fire in his eyes.

“I reviewed the footage, she knew what she was doing. Still had her suit on.” I didn’t know what the suit had to do with - Oh, the suit was bullet proof. “Her sternum is broken, along with half a dozen ribs but she’s going to be okay.” Bruce explained, and it felt like I could finally breath again.

Your POV:

The first thing you were aware of was the hands, the next was the pain. Someone, probably Bruce, was examining you. If you thought it hurt to breathe before, now every attempt at getting air was met with the pain of fiery hot lava. You groaned trying to sit up, you needed to know what had happened. But Bruce held you down.

“Bucky?” You asked, finally cracking an eyelid to watch his face. But you wished you hadn’t. Bruce had that grim, ‘this is a disaster’ look on his face.

“The Winter Soldier went after Steve, who took him down with Nat’s help. He should be waking up any second now.” Bruce says, using FRIDAY to take an X-Ray of your chest. “But you’re not going anywhere, while that suit may be bullet proof it still did some damage. Cracked sternum along with 6 ribs.” He explained, and you glared at him.

“I had at least 3 of those from the mission. I need to see him.” Your voice had a desperate air to it. But you did need to see him, he more than likely thought you were dead and was going to be in shut down mode.

“He can come to see you, after we observe him for an hour. In the meantime, do you want any pain medication?” Bruce asked, and you shook your head. You hated the way those made you feel, you’d rather deal with the pain. “Alright, try and get some rest.” Bruce says, as he walks out the door.

“FRIDAY, playback.” You said, you were going to figure out where this all went wrong. Even if it killed you.

It’d been the longest hour of your entire life, you’d watched the footage about a dozen times and you still couldn’t pinpoint a trigger. It was just one second he was Bucky and the next he was the Asset.

And then an hour turned into two, and if you weren’t worried before you were in maximum overdrive now. “FRIDAY, get Steve.” You called, sitting up slowly. You turned your legs to hang over the side of the bed, and tested your body weight on them. That was when Steve walked in.

“What do you think you’re doing?” It was both Dad voice and Cap voice. He was at your side before you could blink, taking most of your weight from you.

“I need to see him.” You panted, every movement was met with sharp stabbing pains. “Bruce said he’d be released an hour ago.” You explained, and Steve examined you before scooping you up in his arms.

“Doing okay?” He asked, and you nodded. “Let me know if I’m hurting you.” He says, and you nod again. He takes you back to the catalyst of this very event, your shared floor with Bucky. He isn’t waiting for you on the couch, but you know this is different. Steve takes you directly into the bedroom, where Bucky is packing his stuff like a wild animal.

“Hey.” You call to him, as Steve puts you down on the bed and quickly leaves. “Where do you think you’re going? Better not be without me.” It’s accusatory, but also ending in a joke. Like you always do. Bucky looks up at you, his red stained blue eyes dragging over your body. He flinches when you take a breath and wince.

“I hurt you, and so I’m leaving.” The way he says it is so cold and decisive. You sit up, moving to get up. A cold glare stops you in your tracks. You shake your head.

“Cut that bullshit out right now, James.” Using his first name seems to get to him. “You didn’t shoot me, that was the Winter Soldier. But if you, James Buchanan Barnes, leave me now you will break me. I knew what I was doing when I told you to shoot me, I was prepared for the cracked ribs, what’s a couple more anyway. I told you I’d take a bullet for you, and I did. If that doesn’t tell you plain as day that I love you, then I can’t stop you from leaving.” His face was unreadable, holding you under the microscope inspection of his gaze. You stared back at him, it wasn’t like you could go anywhere if you wanted. That speech had left you winded, and your ribcage was screaming at you for disturbing it.

“What kind of reckless idiot would literally take a bullet for someone?” Bucky finally asks, in a teasing tone. You smirk at him, as the perfect answer pops into your mind.

“Steve.” You say, and Bucky chuckles as he shakes his head at you. “Steve would do the same thing I did, but without bulletproofing. I’m not an idiot, and I’m not reckless either. That was calculated.” You explain, and Bucky tosses his duffel bag into the corner of the room. He sits down on the foot of the bed, as if he’s afraid to touch you.

“Don’t ever do that to me again.” It’s so soft, you almost aren’t sure he said it. He turns to glare you down again. “All the things HYDRA did to me can never, will never compare to the way I felt when I thought he killed you. And I know that I wouldn’t be able to handle losing you. So you better get your shit together, and cut that bullshit out. We’ve got a future to make together, one that can only be made if you are still breathing.” He rants, placing a hand on your leg.

“Sappy Barnes strikes again, now come here you big lunk. We’ve got Netflix to watch before I fall asleep.” You said, smiling at him. He complies, crawling into the bed, and arranging you so you’re comfortable but not in any excess pain.

“Hey, wait a second. Did you just talk about our future in the most nonchalant way possible? Mister 40s value man. What are you saying?” You ask, grabbing the Stark pad to control the tv. Bucky twirls a finger in your hair, giving you a sly smile.

“I’m saying that we should get married.” The subtle way he said those lifestyle nuke words, had your heart racing. Between that and the sternum fracture you thought you might pass out. He gave you an expecting look, confirming it to be a question rather than the statement he’d made it out to be.

“I wanna make a joke about the sudden change in your demeanor, but I want to say yes, first.” You said, smiling brightly at him. He looked at you like he expected no less than one joke. “So that was just your reenactment of the Runaway Bride?” You snarled, and he laughed before leaning down to give you a gentle kiss.

Sometimes the person you’d take a bullet for is the one behind the trigger, or maybe sometimes it’s the catalyst to the beginning of a happily ever after.

Tag list: @graysonmalfoy @dontyouforgetaboutme

anonymous asked:

Wtf was it supposed to be tho,,,,, star pussy? Space cat? Starcat? I AM CONFUSION

honey bear and space cat…. cat and bear.. only 90s kids remember..

I’m in the fucking McDonald’s parking lot because there was a big order of food and were all waiting on the guy to bring it out for us so we don’t hold up the line and this guys like okay ur in the passenger seat you need to get out and go inside to ask for extra honey mustard because I forgot to at the window and I’m like??? ew?? no it’s fucking cold so I’m on my phone and he keeps asking so I’m like yo bitch wanna see a magic trick? And I was hiding my middle finger by the door about to flip him off but I dropped my phone between the car door and my seat so he’s like yeah bitch is ur magic trick getting more fucking honey mustard? And as im feeling for my phone I found a packet of old honey mustard in the space and pull it out and everyone just loses their shit why am i only lucky when it comes to jokes