honey papers

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 2

We did it amigos. Another list! I am so grateful that you all are sharing your ideas to help inspire others (faith in humanity restored)

  1. “Where is my fucking pudding?!”
  2. “I thought we agreed to never use butter for that reason again…”
  3. “Well if it’s the guy who never shuts up about toilet paper!”
  4. “Honey, did you see my sniper rifle?”
  5. “Oops…”
  6. “God damn it he died. Whatever. Just leave him there.”
  7. “Listen, I know you’re upset, but please put down the baking soda before someone gets hurt.”
  8. “Look, about the monkey…”
  9. “I don’t understand! I only used a finger.”
  10. “It’s not as hard as you think, I promise.”
  11. “well this is what i call hell of a night”
  12. “How could an entire school disappear?”
  13. “What do you mean the brownies are "not quite brownies”?“
  14. "Yes, I understand that its cool, but why does your toaster have wings?” “Well its alive of course. It flies.”
  15. “Don’t turn that on!”
  16. “Wait…I’m also- technically- underage and you’re a stranger…should I be screaming also?”
  17. “I though you meant "literally” metaphorically. “
  18. "Ok so don’t get mad but I might have started a war.”
  19. “Good morning… I see the assassins failed again.”
  20. “You’re a murderer, how are you working at a hospital?”
  21. “That cat just stole my cereal!”
  22. “Did you see that? Please tell me you saw it.”
  23. “Hey, can you stop shooting people right now? We’re trying to sleep.”
  24. “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS KEITH!”
  25. “If you think I’m leaving you and your demon eyes and evil horns you’re wrong.”
  26. “What do you mean, this isn’t Earth?”
  27. “Damn it, ____! Not peanuts again!”
  28. “Why did I just press the big red button?”
  29. “So tell me again why this dead body is being sent to Goodwill?”
  30. “Lucifer, I know that we said we would share rent but you never said anything about your brother living with us.”
  31. “God dammit, I’m supposed to be a bat! Why the hell am I a possum, Karen?!”
  32. “Sarah, where’s the dog?” “Up in space?”
  33. “You had only one job and it wasn’t even a difficult task, but seriously, how did you end up like this!?”
  34. “Well I never said I WASN’T going to kill the bartender …”
  35. “I mean, it was only a small eldritch being, so it wasn’t that bad…”
  36. “Hold me back bro!”
  37. “I think there’s a new lifeform evolving in my fridge.”
  38. “WHAT THE FUCK?!”
  39. “Can we have lunch now, or do you still want to continue looking at dead people?”
  40. “I can’t believe you ate my cheese…we’re over”
  41. “Sometimes I wonder why we’re still friends.” “Because I turned you into a cyborg after being shredded by an explosion and you owe me.” “…Fair enough.”
  42. “Well, I didn’t quite expect to wake up pregnant either and yet… here we are, so can you please pass me that can of bread?”
  43. “Ok, I know I said ‘You can throw a hairbrush at them’, but I didn’t actually mean it!”
  44. “When I told you to feed the dog I didn’t expect you to feed him the neighbors cat.”
  45. “Clearly, you’ve never gotten rid of a body before…”
  46. “This sort of thing never happened when I was dating your brother.”
  47. Sometimes, I wonder about you. And then I worry.“
  48. ” Wait, wait, wait, start from the very beginning. how did you manage to set the house on fire with that??“
  49. "For fucks sake, dude, how many times do I have to tell you that that’s not what penises are for?”
  50. “One woman’s terrorist is another woman’s freedom fighter.”
  51. “This isn’t right… the humans shouldn’t be able to move on their own.”
  52. “Why is unicorn blood on our shopping list?”
  53. “Must you unhinge your jaw like that when you eat? It’s disgusting.”
  54. “You’ve violated the law, my trust, and your friend. Tell me, why should I believe anything you say?”
  55. “No, no don’t open the fridge, I need to keep they eyeballs cold.”
  56. “did he break his jaw again by falling down a flight of stairs?” “Passive aggressive much?”
  57. “For the last time, put the declaration of independence back!”
  58. "That isn’t permanent, right?”
  59. “You know, ripping someone’s beating heart right out of their chest with your bare hand looks cool in anime, but irl it’s just unsanitary…”
  60. “She didn’t tell you” “Tell me what” “He’s dead”
  61. “But his dad is an asshole–” “HIS AUTHOR IS AN ASSHOLE”
  62. “You are here and you haven’t tried to kill me yet. You must want something from me.”
  63. “The salesperson made a flying tentacle monster sound a lot more alluring, I swear!”
  64. “Okay…the radiator just growled at me”
  65. “Dude, were you listening to me? Why are you barking?” “I’m not barking. I thought YOU were barking!”
  66. “How did you get that bump on your lip”
  67. “Buddy. You need to chill, and put that knife away before I get out my gun.”
  68. “ ” I dare you to take your shirt off" “ no” “ I doubledare you” “No” “I tripledare you” “ god dammit Steve , im not wearing a Shirt!”“
  69. "Why the fuck are there founding fathers in our living room”
  70. “Girls only say 'I will not dignify that with a response.’ when they’ve done the thing you’ve just accused them of.” “Do you know this, because you’ve done it?” “I will not dignify that with a response.”
  71. “They think we’re terrible but really we’re only mediocre”
  72. “You’d think by now we’d stop bringing death into these things. Look at them, they have anxiety!”
  73. “Ok, first of all asshat, stop touching me. Second, that is never going to work out! Third, stop TOUCHING me.”
  74. “So if I do understand, you’re telling me that you created insects robots. The same one that destroyed the city. ”
  75. “Why is THIS in your fridge? This is some serious contraband.”
  76. “Please tell me you’re joking about marrying the bastard’s son we call Satan.” “ Don’t talk about your mother like that!!”
  77. “Did you explode the microwave again?!”
  78. "Honey where’s the dog?” “Like I said, I’m making a smoothie.”
  79. “Fifteen bucks you can’t hook up with Satan.” “Make it twenty.”
  80. “I don’t know, maybe because he has some semblance of taste?
  81. "What could possibly make you think eating three tons of cheese for the mice in radiation-test labs was okay?!”
  82. “Who actually let the dogs out?”
  83. “Hey, you don’t know how many bodies are buried in my backyard.”
  84. “I told you to kill me.” “I did. Just this morning.” “Well, shit!”
  85. “So… This isn’t the end, is it? I mean I still want to hang out with you at least. Maybe go for another space adventure, hm?”
  86. “I’m sorry, it was the HEAT OF THE MOMENT,”
  87. "Hey, wanna go out for a romantic moonlight killing spree?”
  88. “So, you’re into …..? Huh, I never would’ve known.”
  89. “Did you hear that scream?” “Yes, I’m the one who screamed”
  90. “What are you doing?”
  91. “But really, why would anyone need two dozen armadillos?”
  92. “You can’t keep 'solving’ your problems by going to another dimension!”
  93. “I still can’t believe you assassinated a unicorn.”
  94. “Wait, you have FOUR knives?” “No, no. I have four knives ON me.”
  95. “I’ve killed a man using only a copy of Hamlet and a computer mouse. I am NOT afraid of you!" 
  96. "What the hell are those?”
  97. “Are you sure you’re not an arsonist?”
  98. “I know, right? You’d suspect any of them of secretly being an alien, but not…”
  99. “Why didn’t you stop?”
  100. “So, start explaining why there are dozens of puppies in my guest room.”

Let’s make another list. Part 3! Leave a reply and don’t forget the double quotes “”. I want to give everyone a chance to contribute to our community. So as always, one prompt per amigo. Dankje! 

Minimalist Spell Series: Black Honey Curse

I keep swinging my hand through a swarm of bees,
I can’t understand why they’re stinging me…

Items:

  • Red pen (or any writing utensil that’s red)
  • Paper
  • Honey
  • Ground pepper

Method:

Take your paper and write your target’s name on it. Try to take up as much of the paper as you can. If you’d like, write it multiple times, over and over, to take up more space. As you do this, channel all of your negative energy through the pen and into the paper. Say to yourself, when done, “You keep swinging your hand through a swarm of bees, you can’t understand why they’re stinging you. But I’ll do what I want, I’ll do what I please, I’ll do it again ‘til I get what I need.”

Take the honey and strike through the name with it. Take the pepper and sprinkle it into the honey and over the name. Say, “And this time, I’ll get it right. Yeah, this time I’ll get it right. It’s gonna be this time I get it right. Oh god/goddess [your preference] let it be this time I get it right!” 

Tear up the paper. Rip it to absolute shreds. Burn it, tear it, cut it up, whatever you can to destroy the paper. As you do, say “So I’m cutting this branch off the cherry tree, singing ‘this will be my victory!’”

And finally, dispose of the shreds, outdoor bins or the toilet are the best. Make sure you cleanse your honey jar, pepper container, and your pen afterwards!

5

Top 5 January 2017

1. American Honey (Andrea Arnold, 2016)

2. It Happened One Night (Frank Capra, 1934)

3. Paper Moon (Peter Bogdanovich, 1973)

4. The Searchers (John Ford, 1956)

5. Le fils de Joseph ( Eugène Green, 2016)

You’re Distracting Me

Literally no one asked for this, but it’s happening anyways because I can. So yeah have some tree bros that I’ll be adding to ao3.

To Connor, finals didn’t mean much. He wasn’t on a scholarship, he didn’t need to pay for his own college, he just kinda cruised by. It was definitely different for some students, take his friend for example.

Keep reading

I had a really busy day and got home 1am tonight so I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to finish this days challenge in time. I might get a spurt of energy, I will post two drawings tomorrow otherwise! 

Sorry!

anonymous asked:

Can you recomend me some really good fics? Krashlyn of course...

I typically don’t answer these questions because I don’t feel like going through A03 and my bookmarks for these. But I really feel like these should be read by people if they haven’t been yet, and I have some time on my hands. 

Anyway, I hope you enjoy! 

Essays in Existentialism: Backyard Champagne IV

I know we’re making you jump around in the backyard champagne. But can we please just have Lexa actually telling them about Clarke. I don’t know why but I totally need it. They’re so cute! 

Previously on Backyard Champagne

The sunshine was an unwelcome guest in the bed. Clarke groaned into Lexa’s shoulder, the weight of the champagne sitting heavy and hot in her stomach, the light scalding her eyes through the lids. Like a persistent gopher, Clarke nuzzled under her girlfriend’s arm, escaping the world and the pain it was causing her.

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Bad Ideas (Chapter 2)

Welcome back to the story! Catch up on Chapter One HERE! I’m glad that a few people were interested in this little fic, it’s my first Spidey-pool fic so I wasn’t really sure how I did!
Enjoy Chapter Two!
**********************

“Wade, this is not a filing system.”

“I don’t know what you mean by that, honey buns, all those papers are in a filing cabinet. Therefore, they are filed, therefore in a system.” Wade looked up from replacing the battery in his drill and frowned. “What more do you need?”

“Yeah, well.” Peter pushed his glasses up on his forehead long enough to rub at his eyes. “Just because you toss random papers in a file cabinet doesn’t mean it’s filed. Or sorted. Or organized. Or looking like anything other than a rats nest.”

“You’re awfully rude for someone who hasn’t combed his hair in three days.” Wade snipped back and Peter sighed in exasperation.

First of all, I combed my hair. It just always looks a little–”

“Rat-nesty?” Wade huffed and stomped out of the office dramatically. “I’m not paying you to talk about hair, Peter! Shut the hell up and do the secretary thing!”

Keep reading