honey approved

Alley Cat

(2500 words)

.

Cartoonz is this mangled old alley cat with a missing ear and scars all over the place. He looks mean as hell and hisses at everyone. Delirious is a little boy with a blue rain jacket and a missing tooth who nobody much pays attention to.

Delirious finds Cartoonz in the trash behind a shop, and though he gets hissed at and swatted at, he picks up the big mean alley cat and loves him. Delirious’ mom freaks out and tries to take him to the pet shop to get him a nice, friendly animal, but he won’t give up ol'Cartoonz.

Then they get up to all kinds of high jinks and everywhere you see Delirious, this old gnarly cat is right behind him. (Every time you see the alley cat, a disheveled Delirious is ambling along after, up to no good.)

\

He walks along the edge of the sidewalk, balancing over the edge with his short wobbly legs that keep trying to twist out underneath him, his arms spread wide for balance.

Keep reading

playboycrime  asked:

Hi! Can you do one where you and dylann are dating and live together or something and he can't do naughty things because he hurt himself or something, so the doctor told him to stop sexual activity for awhile, and you tease him so much until he cant handle? I'm sorry for bothering you, I know you're probably overwhelmed.

It’s okay honey! :) Approved cause I do have a pretty strong weak spot for that whole “medical sex thingy kink”, sue me lol

Every Angel Needs A Nest (GabrielxReader)

Gabriel builds a nest and wants to share it with you.

Warnings: Some Language, Light Violence, Fluff

Part Two is here: http://gabrielxreader.tumblr.com/post/86128179783/every-angel-needs-a-nest-part-two-gabrielxreader 

You had just returned from a hunt with the brothers. You set your bag on a table in the library when suddenly your boyfriend, Gabriel appeared, seeming to be out of breath. You’d been dating for about five months now, much to the Winchesters surgrin. His hair was a mess and he was jumpy.

“Where have you been?” He was exasperated.

“Sorry we were gone a little bit longer than expect.” You tossed your arms around him, pulling him in for a kiss. His body still felt rigid as he pulled away. You searched his honey brown eyes for an answer.

“Hey (y/n) wanna go on a food run?” Dean strolled into the library.

“No she can’t.” Gabriel quickly answered for you before pulling your arm. His angel strength made it hard to resist so you followed him into the hallway. You shot a quick glance to Dean showing you were just confused as he was. Dean was on his own for food. Gabriel however kept dragging you in the hall before stopping in front of the room you shared. He pushed you into the room and shut the door in a flash.

The room wasn’t what you were expecting. Your bed had built up sides made of clothes, towels, pillows and other fabrics making it nest shaped. Items that you treasured, like some of your favorite jewelry and weapons, were piled up on a corner of the bed. Candles provided light for the room as they were placed all over, even on the floor.

“Gabriel…” You turned to face him with a puzzled look on your face.

“Do you like it?” His tone took you back a little. He almost sounded like a wounded puppy in need of approval. His honey brown eyes bore into you waiting for an answer.

“I guess….” You searched the room, trying to avoid his gaze. “..I’m a little confused at the moment.”

“What about?” He took a step forward and grabbed your hands rubbing them gently.

“It’s not that I hate it….but why did you…exactly, um, build a…nest?” You tried to give him your best smile, not wanting to hurt him.

“It’s for you. It’s for us.” Gabriel twirled you around, so you stood facing the bed and all the heaps of fabric surrounding it.

“Yeah, still confused.” You furrowed your eyebrows. “Is that my underwear?” Gabriel followed your gaze toward the pile of weapons and jewelry. Sure enough some of your lacy undergarments were among that pile of stuff.

“Those are the things I hold most dear.” Gabriel proclaimed.

Just when you were about to respond, Dean came busting in. He shared the same confused face as you, but then he started to laugh. Gabriel’s face reddened with anger and you gripped his arm trying to refocus his attention to you.

“What the hell have you gotten yourself into?” Dean addressed you. “What? He built a nest?” He kept laughing until Gabriel broke away and pushed him against the wall.

“Get the hell out and stay away from my girlfriend.” Gabriel snarled.

“Hey now, no need to get all protective.” Dean held up his hands.

“Gabriel, come on, leave him alone.” You tried pulling him off of Dean, but Gabriel stayed still.

“I don’t want you anywhere near (y/n).” Gabriel kept his gaze fixed on Dean. Dean nodded understanding which caused Gabriel to let go.

“Sure is a keeper.” Dean sarcastically said to you as he slowly backed out of the room, while Gabriel watched his every movements. Once Dean shut the door Gabriel went over and locked it before turning back to you.

“Gabriel, seriously, what the hell is going on?”

He brought you in for a hug, rubbing your back. “You’re mine.” He whispered into your ear. Then he lifted your legs up and wrapped them around his waist as you clung to his shoulders. Gently he placed you down on the bed or rather nest. He snapped his fingers changing you both into your pajamas before snuggling himself next to you. He didn’t seem too keen on answering you at the moment and the hunt was tiring, so you figured you’d get answers tomorrow. You pulled him close and you both laid on your sides facing each other. Gabriel brought up a blanket to cover you both.

“Goodnight my little archangel.” You breathed in his familiar scent.

“Goodnight my little human.” He murmured against the nook of your neck.



Next morning provided some new challenges and weird situations. For breakfast, Gabriel insisted that he cook for you and that no one but you were allowed to eat it. The brothers had to fend for themselves while getting shot glares from Gabriel who sat as close as physically possible to you. It seemed at all times he had his hand wrapped around your waist or it was resting on your back. Not that you didn’t mind him being so protective of you, but it got to the point that you couldn’t talk to Sam or Dean without Gabriel trying to make you leave the room. Even when you went to the bathroom, Gabriel stood outside waiting for you.

“Gabriel can you go get me the items on this list?” You glanced over at the angel next to you in the library. The list was nothing important, it just gave you time to breath. Sam and Dean were sitting at a table on the other side of the room.

“Of course.” With that he poofed away and you quickly got up and went over to the brothers.

“Help me.” You whined as you sat down next to Sam. “I love him…but seriously what is wrong with him?”

“Have you talked to him?” Sam asked.

“Of course I have. I’m not stupid.” You snapped.

“Did he lay an egg yet?” Dean chuckled.

“Shut up. You’re not helping.”

“What about Cas?” Sam suggested. “Maybe it’s some kind of angel thing.”

“Alright, Dean call him.”

Dean looked like he was going to argue, but decided to just comply. “Oh I pray to Cas to get his featherly ass here. We have a situation that we think you might know about.”     

A flutter of wings and Castiel stood at the head of the table. “What is this situation?”

“Cas, Gabriel built a nest on our bed.”

“Oh, yes. It seems it is that time again then.” Cas seemed deep in thought.

“What is going on?” You demanded.

“Castiel?” Gabriel was back and didn’t look too thrilled by the fact you were sitting near the brothers with an angel nearby. “Who called him?” Gabriel demanded.

“Now hold on Gabriel. I was just explaining to them about….your situation.” Cas held up his hands in defence.

“I called him.” You stood up turning to face Gabriel. His eyes turned saddened with a deep set frown on his face. “I wanted to know why you build a nest.”

“So you don’t like it?” It pained you to hear his voice that way.

“It’s not that….I just wanted to know why.”

“It happens every so often.” Cas’s gruff voice cut in. “It’s somewhat of a private matter, not many humans know about it. You see at certain times we, angels, feel the need to build a nest and gather important things to us. Rarely do we share them with anyone.” Cas looked down at his shoes, looking too embarrassed to go on. “Typically if anyone sees us do it or is apart of it, it is typically our mate.”

“Mate?” You glanced at Cas then back at Gabriel. His expression was hard to read.

“Yes, well I should get going.” Cas shyly looked over to Gabriel. “Those who do have a mate don’t really like any possible competition. They need time alone with them.”

“Wait. How long does this thing last?” Sam spoke up.

“A few days typically. Depends if certain needs are met.”

“Certain needs?” You raised an eyebrow at that one.

“Oh come on. I don’t want to hear them going at it all the time.” Dean huffed pointing towards you and Gabriel.

“It’s not like that Dean.” Cas argued. “It is more of just being together and making sure one another is safe. The connection cannot be broken.”

“So, I just stay huddled in my room then for a few days? That doesn’t sound too bad. Thanks Cas.” You gave him a smile making Gabriel growl from behind you. Cas took that as his sign to go. “Well then I guess we should go to our room then.” You turned to Gabriel. Without missing a beat he picked you up bridal style carrying you to your room.

All day today it was customers asking me “does thank you approved mean I can take my card?”

NO IT MEANS LEAVE YOUR CARD IN FOREVER NEVER TAKE IT OUT. The fuck you THINK IT MEANS AAAAAAAAA

I wouldn’t be this intolerant but I’m in a foul mood and no patience for regular customer idiocy today LOL

And then you get those fucks that think they’re so witty and clever when I say “you can take your card” and they go “it doesn’t SAY I can. It just says approved”

And I’m like well sir what the fuck do you thjnk your card being approved means honey ??? You’re free to leave it there and get the fuck out :))))))

Honey, Honey

So I guess I’m doing this then. KLAINE ADVENT!
Day 1: Audience. 1.2k

The screech of one of Kurt’s thrifted dining room chair scraping against the floor made him jerk his head up from where he was bent over his work at the kitchen table.

He found the moving chair instantly, following the high back as it slowly moved past his seat, but had to take a moment to spy the tiny dark head just peeking out over the table’s edge.

“Rosa, honey,” he started, watching his child drag the chair to the middle of the room. He winced as the feet caught the edges of the tiles. If she chips those legs after I just refinished– “Sweetheart, what are you doing?”

She didn’t answer him, continuing determinedly to center the chair in the open floor space of their kitchen, panting a little with the effort of hauling such a heavy thing. Kurt didn’t offer to help her, watching in bewildered amusement from the table.

When she seemed to be satisfied with the location, she climbed up to stand on the chair.

Kurt started to move. “Oh, no, Rosa, honey, please get–”

PAPA!

Kurt winced, sitting back in his chair and clapping a hand over his ear at the volume. She was only four years old but she knew how to project her voice, that was for sure.

Keep reading

5

Pixy: Alright.  We’re gonna find Solas, and get this hand fixed, and take care of this Qunari problem.

Dorian:

Pixy: … AND, we’ll get those blood-stained robes to a cleaners when we get back, honey.  Don’t you worry.

Dorian Approves!

Pixerys Lavellan being boss (and maybe a little murderous) in his new armor from Trespasser.  And Dorian is just there to look cute as always.

Out of Touch

michael/calum, 5.6k

In theory, having a “tour dog” should have been the best thing, the greatest thing to happen to them in a while. In reality, it kind of is. Sort of.

Maybe.

(Or, they get a tour dog and Michael is totally not jealous when Calum starts giving more attention to the dog than him.)

[read here]

Preference #25; She Looks So Perfect
  • Calum: "If I showed up with a plane ticket and a shiny diamond ring with your name on it, would you wanna run away too? Cuz' all I really want is you." Everything had come crashing down in a matter of months. School had been getting hard, grades falling and the bullying getting worse, Everyone at home faught day after day. The only escape seemed to be your boyfriend Calum. But bliss was always cut short by strict curfew. Today was the same story, you woke up to shouting and slamming doors. Running a hand through your hair, you push out of bed and walk to the mirror. Calum was supposed to come pick you up in a few hours and you had to attempt to get ready in this chaos. As you attempted to brush out the wild mane of hair around your face, you phone lit up with a text from Calum. 'Go outside.' You roll your eyes, but smile. What could he have planned? A few moments later you're standing on the doorstep and Calum is standing with a huge grin on his face. "(Y/N) I know this is a little last minute and crazy, but I have a proposition." He gets down on one knee, pulling a box out from behind him. He opens it, revealing two plane tickets to California and a diamond ring. "Run away with me?"
  • Ashton: "She looks so perfect standing there in my American Apparel underwear. And I know now, that I'm so down. I made a mixtape straight out of '94, I've got your ripped skinny jeans lying on the floor." Ashton was always full of surprises. Even at three am. He showed up at your doorstep with a huge grin on his face, ready to go adventuring. He pulled you out of your blogging state of mind and out into the real world for some fun. The two of you were no strangers to the bowling alley, it was the spot for many of your dates. You both played for hour, taking many pictures and play fighting about who won each game, not to mention the few drinks you shared. It was now six in the morning and you were back at Ashton's place. Things had gotten pretty heated between leaving the alley and the return to Ashtons home and the two of you were now tangled in a mess of sheets. "Ash, baby.. I gotta go," You whisper, pulling yourself up from the bed. You grab random what seems to be your underwear and pull them over your hips, throwing your tee over your head afterwards. Ashton rolls over, a groan escaping his lips. "Baaabeeee," he drags out, his eyes trailing over you as you searched for your jeans on the floor. "Nice underwear," he joked, winking at you. You look down, turning a bright shade of red, realizing that you were wearing Ashtons. Later, fully dressed you escape Ashtons house, you stick your hands in your jeans pocket, finding a vintage mixtapes- all the songs from nineteen nintey four.
  • Michael: "Your lipstick stain is a work of art. I've got your name tattooed in an arrow heart and I know now, that I'm so down." "Are you sure you want to do this?" The tattoo parlor was full of people, jammed from the inside out. Your boyfriend, Michael, and all his band mates were here. Luke was getting another piercing, just his tongue, nothing major. Calum and Michael were both getting tattoos, and you and Ashton were there for moral support. It was now Michaels turn to go back to the tattoo room, after admiring Luke's shiny new piercing. "Of course babe," Michael nodded, confirming his choice of tattoo. You pressed your lips to his temple, leaving a red imprint. A few moments later, the tattoo gun was on his arm, his hand holding yours tightly. "You're almost done," his tattooer says, a man with tattoos covering every inch of him. Michael nods, keeping a good cover up for his pain. "And.. We're good." The man sets the gun down on a table, picking up a mirror, "Are you ready to see it?" "Yes!" you and Michael call out at the same time, causing a fit of giggles to erupt between you. The mirror is lifted and you can't help but gasp. It was a heart, an arrow going through it like Michael had told you. But to your surprise, right in the middle was your name. "Oh, Michael." "Do you like it?" he asks with a grin. He points to the lipstick mark on his temple, "I'm thinking of getting this beauty next." You roll your eyes and push him out of the chair, walking back into the waiting room to show off to the other boys.
  • Luke: "They say we're too young now to amount to anything else. But look around, we worked too damn hard for this just to give it up now. If you don't swim, you'll drown. But don't move... Honey." No one approved of you and Luke. Not your parents, not his, not your friends, not his band mates. They all thought the two of you were just "too young to know love". Thought you and Luke always called bullshit, saying that they didn't know either. In the long months the two of you had been together, you knew Luke was the one for you. He treated you like a queen and never asked for anything in return. You weren't about to give up on the beautiful relationship due to what other people said. You were hopelessly falling in love with Luke, and there was no stopping it. Especially tonight, on your one year anniversary. As Luke pressed you against the wall, leaving kisses from your lips all down your neck. It was almost too perfect, everything he had done that night. Taking you out to dinner at some fancy restaurant, walking along the beach hand in hand. It was hard to believe that he hadn't gotten into your pants before. He picked you up, your legs wrapping around his waist, your name moaning from his lips as he moved towards the bedroom. He carefully placed you on his bed, a smirk growing across his lips. "Are you sure about this, babe?" he asked, playing with his lip ring. You nod, eyes full of lust, pulling him in for a quick kiss. He breaks it, pulling his shirt over his head. He begins to unbutton yours, "Don't move, honey." He whispers, kissing down your neck.
Ashton Irwin Imagine (requested)

“Hey, guys!” Ashton said as he led the way into his home and I followed behind giggling as Harry clung to his big brothers legs.
I gave Lauren a hug and did the same for Harry as soon as Ash pried him off his legs, the precious koala boy I thought to
myself and suppressed another giggle as Ash’s mom greeted me with a smile and a warm hug. I always enjoyed coming to
visit Ashtons family with him, and they always seemed happy enough to have me there. I couldnt keep the smile off my face
as Ashton got berated into playing Mario Kart with his younger siblings. I sat behind and just watched as their mom
prepared dinner in the kitchen, refusing my endless volunteers to help out in any way I possibly could. I watched the three
Irwin siblings play giggling along as they laughed and screeched with joy as Ashton lost endlessy, even though he was bad
at video games, I knew he could easily win if he wanted to, but he’s the best big brother ever as I’ve been told by Lauren
and Harry countless times. It always made me so happy to see him with them, he never ceased to look happy while spending
as much time as he possibly could with them, no matter how exhausted he is. ‘Maybe he’ll be like that with our children
someday.’ I thought and, just as quickly as the thought entered in my mind, I shook it out, reminding myself to just
enjoy the time I have with Ash right now and don’t think about settling completely down with him, after all, he’s a
rockstar and doesn’t have that kind of time for me, he’s much too good for me anyway. Even though we’ve been dating for
a year and a half now, I can’t imagine Ashton ever even wanting to spend the rest of his life with me. As I had that
familiar thought, tears welled up in my eyes as they often did when I thought of these things. I silently got up from
my spot on the couch behind Ash and went to the restroom. “Breathe…just,breathe, it’ll be okay.” I whispered to myself
as I looked at myself in the mirror trying to will myself to just calm down, I know I get too insecure, Ash knows it too
but I try to keep it to myself, I dont like Ash having to see me like this. I loosened my fist and dropped the balled up
tear dampened tissue I was holding into the waste bin and checked to make sure I didn’t look like I had just been sobbing
my eyes out just a few seconds ago and took one last big breath before exiting the bathroom and walking back into the
living room where the kids and Ash had been playing when I left. When I got into the room, however, Ashton wasn’t there.
Lauren and Harry were still playing against each other though. “Hey guys, uh, where did Ash go?” “Kitchen.” was the
response I got from both kids without them looking away from the screen. I started towards the kitchen and stopped as I
heard my name in conversation. Yeah, it’s bad to eavesdrop, but my boyfriend and his mother are discussing me, I just had
to know. “Well,honey, I approve of this plan, you know I love Y/N.” “I know mum, I love her too, with all my heart.”
“That’s not hard to see, Ash, it never has been. I could see it in my little baby’s eyes the first time you brought her
home.” “So, you think she’ll say yeah?” “I bet you she will, dear.” “Thanks, Mum. God, I love her, I can’t imagine what
I’d do without her, you know?” “I know, sweetheart. Everything will be okay, yeah?” “I hope so.” I heard footsteps
coming back toward the room and walked back to the room quickly wiping my eyes of the small tears that had built up as
I couldn’t get the stupid grin off my face. I got back to the couch and took a seat as Ash arrived shortly after I sat
down and he took a seat beside me. “Hey babe, how’re they doing?” He said to me with that huge smile of his as he
questioned his siblings progress in gameplay that I hadn’t been paying attention to. “They’re great.” I said with an
equally big smile as he let out a giggle and I couldn’t help but kiss him. “What was that for?” He asked with a big
dimpley smile. “I just love you a lot.” “I love you too baby.” He said with a warm smile and pulled me close so we were
cuddling on the couch. “Ew.” Harry said with a giggle as he ran to the kitchen as Ms. Irwin called for dinner and Lauren
followed after him. I kissed Ash once more and we got off the couch and walked out to the table hand in hand. It was
beautiful outside today and the sun was about to set with fairy lights set up on their patio it was lovely. Ashton helped
his mother get the food as Lauren and Harry set the table, nobody would allow me to help as I sat at the table watching
the sun slowly begin to set. They all eventually sat down at the table with me with Ash sitting next to me and his mom
and siblings across from us. They were all smiling and looking at Ash and I, I giggled at the slightly strange sight
and glanced at Ashton, who was already looking at me with this intense gaze of adoration. I giggled under my breath and
nudged him slightly with my elbow as I blushed. “What?” I said quietly to him whilst I was smiling, I couldn’t help but
smile when I was around Ashton, he made me so happy. “I just love you a lot.” He said and smiled deeper, his eyes showing
a look of love and calmness in them. The two kids giggled as I quietly returned Ash’s sentiment and turned to look at the
gorgeous setting sun. “Oh, I forgot something hang on.” Ash said to me as he got up and I saw his mom smile at his sentence
leaving me to wonder what was going on. Ashton took a few minutes, and as much as I love his family, it was still a bit
awkward being left alone with them, especially when they weren’t saying anything, just all looking at me with small
smiles on their faces and Ann trying to hide that she was but the children were just smiling and giggling every
so often. I started playing with a loose string on my clothes and didn’t hear Ashton come back outside. “ *ahem* Y/N?”
I heard Ashton’s cute aussie accent say beside me. I looked up but I quickly had to draw my gaze down to see Ash…on
one knee..with the most gorgeous ring ive ever seen inside a little velvet box that he held in his hands.
‘Oh my god’ I thought to myself as I quickly became happy but I didn’t want to ruin anything so I tried to
swallow the lump in my throat and held back the tears of joy that were threatening to spill from my eyes. “Uh, yeah?” I
said, those being the only words I could muster up as I stared at Ash with a small smile on my face and my hands clasped
together and held against my chest, waiting. “We’ve been together for awhile now, but I feel like I have known you
my entire life, and I have such a deep love for you and you just honestly make my life better, every single day. I
want to spend every single moment with you until the day I inevitably die, and I really hope you want the same thing
You make life so much more than just bearable, you make the best experience I have ever been through and when I look at
you, the feeling I get is just, indescribable, it’s a wonderful mix of happiness and love and just me being amazed that
I am lucky enough to be with the most amazing, wonderful, beautiful, hilarious, lovely girl. So Y/F/N Y/L/N, will you
marry me? …Please?” Ashton said to me as I let a few tears out, I loved him more than anything in the entire world.
“YES!” I screamed, not even bothering to try to contain my excitement as I let Ash put the ring on my finger and I
leapt into his arms for a huge hug and in the middle of our hug he whispered in my ear “I know it sounds so cliche, but
you’ve just made me the happiest man in the entire fucking galaxy.” I smiled at his words and whispered into his ear that
I loved him more than anything and I’m so happy that he finally asked. He put me down flat on my feet and Ann looked at
us both with her eyes sparkling with tears and a huge smile on her face. “You two are the cutest couple.” She said as
she got up and gave us both a hug and we smiled and he told her he loved her. We got hugs from the two kids right after
and his mom cleared her throat and laughed slightly before saying “Well, let’s eat, shall we?” Ash and I laughed as Harry
and Lauren rushed back and sat at the table and began to eat and we sat as well. As we all began to eat, I took one last
look at the lovely sun before it finally set and we were left in the lovely lights surrounding us and I thought to
myself as I took my first bite how lucky I was to be marrying the man of my dreams.

- Julli (Co writer)