honesty and trust

What the signs fall in love with
  • Aries: passion, caring, sharing things, darkness, stability, mutual feelings
  • Taurus: honesty, common interests, passionate and meaningful conversations
  • Gemini: deep talks, stargazing, feeling special, make out sessions
  • Cancer: honesty, emotional trust, pretty eyes, loyalty, sweetness
  • Leo: confidence, uniqueness, cute laughs, night drives,
  • Virgo: communication, intellect, sensitivity, quality time, aesthetical prettiness
  • Libra: playfulness, closeness, caring words, keeping promises, adoration
  • Scorpio: mysteries, passionate kisses, inside jokes, intense staring, good humor
  • Sagittarius: freedom, late nights, good smells, cute smiles, small talk
  • Capricorn: faithfulness, happiness, dancing, passion, hard working people
  • Aquarius: breaking rules, laughs, mind connections, softness
  • Pisces: affection, coziness, observant minds, inside jokes, organization

#transformationtuesday So, that’s 3 years ago to now. It’s a truly unflattering pic, and I sort of don’t even want to post this, but it’s a pretty candid moment to capture how I felt. It’s real strange for me to think about and is even harder to look at, but in that time, everything was going great on paper and I was able to “succeed in life” as long as I distracted and disassociated myself to extremes and covered myself up- but in the silence of the evenings, alone with myself, I just ached and felt dead/numb. I avoided introspection or critical self analysis, hated being confronted by how much I chose to not care about myself (mostly via how bad I looked) and felt completely and increasingly out of touch with myself. It’s only been through massive self-reflection, love, honesty, trust, and healthy relationships, that that’s slowly changed and bit by bit Ive been able to slough off most of the damaged bits and come back.

  • book!malec: literally have never communicated about anything ever, magnus refuses to tell alec anything about his past, alec immature, goes behind magnus back to take away his immortality because he doesn't want him to love anyone else again, unhealthy immature relationship steeped in jealousy and pride
  • show!malec: always there for eachother, whole relationship is built on honesty trust, love, and communication "when things get crazy, don't push me away" "i love you and i'm not leaving until you tell me whats wrong" wanting only the best for the other person, two mature adults who love eachother with all their heart
Neil + Casual Honesty
  • Neil trusts the team and doesn’t want to hide things from them, so slowly more and more of his past comes out in casual conversation
  • The whole team is beyond concerned and horrified
  • Except for Andrew who just likes the honesty, although he doesn’t particularly care what Neil tells the rest of the team as long as he keeps telling him truths
  • One of the twins trying to claim Neil doesn’t know what Kevin terrified actually looks like because he wasn’t there to see Kevin broken on the bus after Riko broke his hand and wasn’t around when Kevin first joined the Foxes
  • Neil doesn’t skip a beat before responding “I think he looked pretty terrified after we watched my father torture a man to death.”
  • And the team is like what the fuck Neil?
  • They’re watching a movie and Matt’s like “There’s no way he’s just walking around after being shot like that. They have to get him to a hospital.”
  • And Neil says “I didn’t go to the hospital when I got shot.”
  • Matt is concerned
  • Neil zoning a movie out while thinking about how this movie is making him wait way too long before he and Andrew can sneak off to the roof
  • Nicky’s like “There is no way he’s lost this much blood and is still conscious.”
  • Neil knows exactly how much blood loss it takes before someone can’t stay conscious anymore
  • So he’s like "I’ve seen someone conscious after losing more.”
  • And Nicky’s head whips around to look at Neil like he is concerned for Neil’s immediate well-being which Neil thinks is ridiculous
  • It was a long time ago and it wasn’t even his blood

I salute your integrity and patience; your sense of commitment on making sure that your significant other feels secure and will stay significant in your life and relationship as long as it lasts. How you’re adjusting (if you’re in a new relationship) and how well you’ve adjusted (if you’re in a long term one) your daily schedules just to communicate with them. And how you’re incorporating them in everything you do—whether you send them a selfie of you doing your job or drinking coffee—just to make them feel that they are a part of your everyday routine even if they’re miles and miles away.

Being in a relationship is never easy, but when there’s physical distance in between, maintaining one is an altogether different experience. You feel like the world is against you. You have to constantly hear and battle criticisms because long distance relationship is not a real relationship is what they say. So sometimes you’re urged to prove that yes, it is! Because what else could you call yours? You go to your Facebook profile and post screenshots of your Skype dates and tagging your significant other just so you could get people’s whispers of negativity off your back, because your relationship will last and you’re working on it.

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I ended it
Because I didn’t believe in you

You’ve proven me right
So many times
Since then
(With hearts
Less guarded
Than my own)

[You asked me for advice today]

I’ve always known
I made the right choice

But I still wish
You
Would
Prove
Me
Wrong

             So, prove me wrong this time

Imagine that you meet Loki on Asgard through Thor as you’re one of Thor’s new friends from a foreign meeting a few years ago. At first, Loki dislikes you but is slowly charmed by your kindness and consistent honesty, to the point of you being one of the few individuals he trusts. Eventually, he leads you to his chambers and asks if you wish to be his first; you give your agreement and give him a damn good first time, taking control due to the fact that you know exactly what you’re doing and he does not. He’s shocked to find that he enjoys that lack of control and asks if you’d like to do that again sometime as the two of you cuddle after sex. You agree, smiling softly and holding your prince close to you.

Truth: Arrow 5x20 Review (Underneath)

Arrow isn’t a perfect television show. To be fair, I don’t know one that is, but I never needed Arrow to be perfect.  All I need from Arrow is a good story.  My frustrations with Oliver and Felicity’s break up, and the Baby Mama storyline, aren’t a secret. I found their break up to be wildly problematic on multiple levels. However, the one caveat I always held to was if Arrow can piece together some interesting character growth for Oliver and Felicity it would go a long way of easing my ruffled feathers. We’ve been dealing with the ramifications of Oliver’s lie about William since 4x08. That’s 35 episodes. We’ve waited a long time for Oliver and Felicity’s individual arcs to come to fruition.

The wait was worth it. At least for me.

Our perceptions of “good story” vary as widely as our perceptions of “perfect” but “Underneath” is a good story for me.  It’s almost perfect. 35 episodes. This road was long. It was hard but, in the end, I feel like I understand. It connects all the dots that need to be connected (and some I didn’t expect) while delivering some real character development that feels earned.

In the midst of the crazy world of arrows, masks, Mirakuru soldiers, 15 different canaries and Barry Allen resides the relationships between Oliver and Felicity

and Original Team Arrow. 

These characters, and the love they have for one another, is the sanity in all the madness. It’s the real in the fiction. Oliver, Felicity and Diggle are the beating heart of Arrow for a reason. The love we have for these characters is the reason we watch and “Underneath” returns Arrow to center. It focuses on the love stories that made us fall in love with the show. In particularly, it brings Oliver and Felicity’s individual arcs to fruition and FINALLY merges their roads into one again.

Trust. Honesty. Forgiveness. Compassion. Humility. These aren’t always popular concepts in our society, but they are the building blocks to any relationship. You lose one, the whole house can come down on you. Love feels like it has its own inertia, like it chooses you and not the other way around. And maybe that’s true. Maybe we can’t choose who we love.  However, we can choose how we love.

If you are either Team Felicity or Team Oliver in the break-up- Baby-Mama-drama then there’s probably things about “Underneath” you didn’t like. As for me, I believe there are things both Oliver and Felicity need to learn from the breakup and “Underneath” addresses those things. But more than anything, I am ready for Arrow to rebuild what they broke. I am ready for Arrow to fix it. Are you?

Buckle up. This is, by far, my longest review. We’re going all the way back to the pilot and discuss about five different episodes. This took me about 22 hours to write. No need to comment on how long it is. I am well are.

Let’s dig in…

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i.
sometimes I think about who I am without you,
ruthless,
deathless,
fury.

I am the very essence of a tragedy,
a hero whose darkside consumes them whole,
a lover without my love,
a survivor without a reason to keep going.


I would make the constellations ache to tell my story,
because they specialize in sad stories,
they make empires on heartache.


ii.
but I will not be a myth because I destroy the world with your name ringing through my mind
whenever I let blood run through the streets.


no, we will build empires, ignite rebellions, on hope
we will make those that come after us ache
to see the two of us in action,
side by side,
the golden and darkened ones that are well matched in their fire. 


iii.
because, darling, the universe owes us.
we tore ourselves apart to keep the sun turning in sky
and the universe itself fell silent
when we first let the other into our souls,
in that dark night
where blood and chaos echoed in the background. 


we are owed the happy ending
that let us drift off to sleep as children,
that fairytale ending.


iv.
because there’s a sense of rightness
when your skin brushes mine,
a mark etched in where you lingered
for moments between the war.


and whenever I fall,
scar my skin yet again,
breaking open old wounds,
you bandage them with gentleness
that I long ago stopped believing I deserved.


v.
and isn’t that what the best love stories are built on,
trust,
honesty,
hope,
help
and we make the love stories
that we were told when we were innocent
look like the tragedy
we are desperately trying not to become .


because in our actions,
in our faith,
there’s a depth of devotion
that makes even the divine shudder. 


vi. 
because you make my bloodstains
seem like dropped rose petals,
you make my scars
seem like tiny bits of stardusts,
you make my broken heart
seem whole.

—  it is in your song that I rejoice by Abby S