No pressure because I get to make the decisions. I'm in control...
It’s 11:45pm as I write this and I have not down a workout today, or yesterday. Normally I would be freaking out, going into hiding from the world and just avoiding anything so I don’t have to confront it but something has changed in me recently and I think it’s a good thing.
For the last couple of days Ben and I have been cleaning/sorting/organizing our house for a rental inspection that was today. It’s always a little stressful when we have inspections because we aren’t the kinds of people who have weekly “cleaning days”, we are guys and to be honest can be a bit lazy and so the house tends to get pretty untidy and unless we have guests coming we tend to just leave it until it starts to bug us. BUT we want to change that so over the last few months we have been on “Operation Downsize & Live Simply” slowly reducing the amount of stuff we have by selling, throwing out and donating a lot of stuff we just do not need to make things easier for us to keep the house tidy and clean and its honestly been working. It’s kind of an overhaul of the whole changing my life for the better thing that I have going on. So having the inspection today gave me a kick in the behind to really take it up a notch by cleaning out our back storage room and our spare room that had become a dumping ground.
Anyway long story short our house is nice and tidy, a lot less clutter and feeling peaceful… but only after about 3 days of hard work. Yesterday I was on my feet from morning until about 9pm getting it all finished and was exhausted plus I needed to go to bed early because of course today I also had my motorbike licence test early in the morning on the other side of the city so had to be up at 5:30am.
Now I could have made some different choices yesterday so I could of done a workout, like doing it in the morning before I got into cleaning. However I made the choice not to because I know my body and my mind, even though after a workout I feel great I still need to chill out for a while afterwards because I am exhausted (but good exhausted) and I just did not have time yesterday to do that. I was hoping I would of finished cleaning earlier so I could do a workout but it just didn’t happen and that is life sometimes.
Today I really didn’t have a choice to do a workout in the morning, like I said I had to get up at 5:30am already theres no way I could get up at 4:30am to workout, get ready then drive for an hour and expect to be able to pass a motorbike licence test! So I planned to do one when I got home and then maybe do another workout in the evening to make up for yesterday. Sometimes things just don’t go to plan and I’ve finally realised that is okay.
I finally got home from the licence test (I passed by the way YAY!) and it was about 11:45am. I was sooo tired from driving and riding all morning and I did not have a good sleep last night, maybe about 5 hours of actual sleep. About 10 mins later the realestate agent rocked up and did the inspection and then left, so now its just after 12noon. So organised and had my lunch (left over lasagna yum!) then I had to get back in the car to go pick up my cats from my friends house (short explanation - pets not allowed at rental house… so had to hide them for inspection *cheeky grin*) so this took about another hour out of the day and now its around 2pm.
I am just absolutely buggered so decide I’ll have a little afternoon nap with one of my cats on the bed… well it was definitely needed because I ended up sleeping until 6:45pm!! But unfortunately I hadn’t planned to sleep that long, I still needed to go to the supermarket so I could cook dinner. so I ended up doing that get home at about 8:30pm. Put everything away and start cooking dinner. Finally get to sit down to eat around 9:15pm… so by the time I finish eating and letting it all digest its all of a sudden 10:30pm and I am just know I am not doing a workout today… again.
I used to be really stressed about things like this, when days don’t go the way I originally planned but it really isn’t the end of the world. I made those plans and I chose to do things differently because I am in control, even though events and situations happened that I didn’t account for in the end I am the one who decides what I do and the last two days I decided I wont do a workout. I don’t feel guilty because I missed my workouts, I do wish I had done them because I now need to make them up on other days but I don’t feel guilty for once and I think that’s a big step I’ve made on this journey. I’m not doing this for anybody else, I’m doing it for me and my health and I get to decide how it happens because I am in control of my choices.