In which Dave (private, for-profit bourgeois capital) bankrupts John (the trusting and hardworking proletariat) of his boonbucks (labor) to make contact with and influence Terezi (the liberal democratic state), who has actually been supporting his efforts the whole time based on mutual self-interest.

the signs as high school superlatives

aries: most likely to kill someone

tarus: most likely to get shoved off a cliff

gemini: most likely to hack into your computer and post your most embarrassing search histories on the schools media page

cancer: most likely to have the worst anger issues

leo: most likely to be obsessed with one specific animal to the point of it being slightly weird

virgo: most likely to be a badass

libra: most likely to go into some sort of criminal justice

scorpio: most likely to be the bitchiest in college

sagittarius: most likely to win a weight lifting competition

capricorn: most likely to be high 24/7 and will lose their shit if they aren’t

aquarius: most likely to be the “hipster” of the grade

pieces: most likely to be a queen