homestuck dictionary

The Definition of "Homestuck Fandom"

Homestuck Fandom (n): Second only to the nation of China in sheer lethality. Comprised of degenerates thirsting to please their leader and only god, Andrew Hussie. They are comprised of two factions: Those who are complaining about it in the present, and those who will be complaining about it in the near future. Like a universal sized malignancy, their numbers are vast.

The Definition of "Calmasis"

Calmasis (v): The act of a character appearing in a piece of work without any lines, interaction, or real impact on the plot and creating a larger fandom than several of the main characters in a matter of minutes. 

Even Hussie has fallen for the allure of Calmasis despite them having as manly lines as the mustached abomination on the right.

The Definition of God Tier/Got Tiger

God Tier (n): A horrendous misspelling of ‘Got Tiger’.

Got Tiger(n.): A status of that proves oneself is able to 'Get the Tiger’. However, this Tiger is incredibly fast and only the greatest of men and women have been able to get it. After catching this Tiger, it is then skinned to make an adorable hoodie sweatshirt.

The Tiger’s skin being worn is a sure way to command respect from every Homestuck.

(Submitted by: plasmaviceroy)

The Definition of "Rose Lalonde"

Rose Lalonde (n): The Seer of Light and ectobiological sister to Dave Strider. Based on one’s inclination, Rose Lalonde is either:

  1. A capable and witty child with a liking of all things dark and slimy.
  2. An angsty goth who has no heart and would rather feel pain than nothing at all
  3. That blonde thing that always has its face stuck on Kanaya’s face in fan art.

Rose’s hobbies include writing stories about wizards and selling her soul to questionable space octopi.

Rose, the character who uses their eyebrows the most.

The Definition of "Bucket"

Bucket (n): A possibly anti-religious symbol to Alternians. For reasons unknown, buckets and miscellaneous cleaning supplies send the Trolls into a frenzy. It is theorized that this reaction manifests because Trolls are disgusting, unkempt creatures. In the real world, buckets are used to assault fellow cosplayers in an act of friendship/idiocy. It is hypothesized that a bucket thrown from one cosplayer to another calls for a duel in which only one poorly painted Karkat will remain standing.

Mr. Bucket, the antithesis of The Sufferer. His existence likely justifies the Trolls’ behavior when in the presence of the particular cleaning receptacle in question.

The Definition of "Crocodile"

Crocodile (n): A race of consorts found in the Land of Heat and Clockwork. While their overall impact in the story is minimal, they are the most unique characters in the entire series in that they have caused zero controversy since their introduction. This is likely due to their ability to be shipped with any given character without complaint.

A crocodile. Naks implied.

The definition of "Rosemary"

Rosemary (n): The official name of the relationship shared between Rose Lalonde and Kanaya Maryam. The nomenclature comes from the former’s first name and the first portion of the last name of the latter party. The name also comes from the elderly woman who first coined the term in a fan fiction she wrote for her grandson’s birthday.

Rosemary in a field of rosemary writing a fanfiction about Rosemary

The Definition of "Gamzee Makara"

Gamzee Makara (n): One of the twelve trolls whose hobbies include clowning around and combining to form a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with fellow space elf Tavros Nitram. He serves as Andrew’s vehicle for religious commentary with his miracles. Is responsible for 100% of all Faygo sales since without him, no one would purchase such mediocre beverages distilled with fecal water. Ranks in the Top 3 in terms of body count. Only overshadowed by Bec Noir and the H-man.

Gamzee clowning around.

The Definition of "Mr. Egbert"

Mr. Egbert (n): John Egbert’s father, and in another universe, Jane Crocker’s old man. He is consumed by four things: baking, parenting, working, and perfecting his fighting style, The Fist of the Man’s Grit which manipulates a divine force known as Mangrit to dispatch enemies permanently. Hussie would later go on to sell the rights to Fist of the Man’s Grit overseas. After a few tweaks, Fist of the North Star debuted.

Dad in various states of fatherhood. Present: Cake, pipe, hat, and shaving cream. Not present: Piles enemies destroyed by his forbidden martial arts

The Definition of "Vriska Serket"

Vriska Serket (n): A metaphor for the Homestuck fandom created by Andrew Hussie. Just like the fandom, Vriska is a swollen mass of incomprehensible size and is an ever flowing river of controversy and awe inspiring conflict. She was the first character to be revealed as achieving God Tier status and is the reason every fan character had to go God Tier too. She had a spark for Tavros Nitram and kept his legs in their divorce. She is now dead and cannot haunt the fandom ever again.

Vriska making a fan work of herself for herself. She was aware of her status as collective ‘waifu’ for lonely souls far before her rise to stardom began.

The Definition of "Shenanigans"

Shenanigans(n): While Shenanigans can be separated into several categories (Time Shenanigans, Universe Shenanigans and Adrewnanigans), they all carry one shared definition. They are the reason we keep coming back. That and they help bridge the gap between the next Troll Slaughter.

Suplexananigans.

The Definition of "Homestuck music"

Homestuck music (n): A controlled and highly addictive substance occasionally emitted by certain members of the Homestuck Fandom (or “Jeremy Irons”, as they are affectionately known). It is known for entirely ripping off itself and also well-known internet hero scoutrush39, who wwebsite on the internet.

External image

scoutrush39, Johnkat’s mentor figure, is finally struck down by the Homestuck musicians.

(Submitted by deathsbuddy)

The Definition of "Troll Quirks"

Troll Quirks (n): The unique way the trolls of Homestuck communicate over text. Only four are readable. They were originally created as a fail safe to prevent members of the fandom from roleplaying as Hussie’s Trolls who were set to overtake the series and become his money babies, but the eventual rise of quirk scripts forced him to kill all of the trolls and abandon the idea.

Demi-god Nic Cage taunts the fandom by claiming the life of Vriska Serket. It was their fault this happened.