oh my god, karkat. Two lines in and I’m losing it already.
This is a work of fucking art. I’m gonna print this entire thing out and nail it to my door so I can look at it evert morning and remember that I can never hope to write dialogue this good. I have no words.
this is the best fucking thing i’ve ever laid eyes upon. holy shit
Of course John would be so nonchalant about it. You can just see Karkat staring blankly at the screen as his train of thought gets violently thrown off its rails after a direct collision with the phrase “hi karkat!”. It’s wonderful.
Poor guy. His fate had been sealed the moment he attempted contact with John Human, Friendship Specialist Extraordinaire. Now the microscopic worms of this disease are nesting deep inside his brain, rotting it slowly. The illness has claimed another victim.
An aside: oh god will this bug get off my desk arleady. Sir. Madame. Excuse me but could you get off? Please? You need to get off. I’m trying to write a reaction here and you’re rather killling the mood. No, this is neither an exit nor the moon, it’s my fucking computer screen and knocking yourself against it won’t help you in any endeavor I can imagine.
So here’s Karkat, subtly dancing around inviting John to a romantic hatedate, candles and all. And what is John’s response?
Ouch. Poor guy.
Karkat that doesn’t even make sense. You okay dude
Oh man, this whole thing. There’s Karkat getting kismesisblocked, again. There’s him running out of complex metaphors and collapsing in a puddle of fuck you’s. There’s “see you soon”, which can only mean they’re gonna meet at some point and THANK GOD I’VE BEEN WORRIED THEY’D BE STUCK IN SEPARATE PLANES OF EXISTENCE FOREVER. I was so concerned about this, because between the backwards trolling, the miscommunications and half the trolls refusing to communicate there haven’t been many chances to form linear relationships and if the last John heard of Karkat was some shitty trolling attempt from minute 1 it would break my heart into a million pieces. So thank every possible deity that isn’t happening. Can’t wait for them to actually meet.
In conclusion, this is my favorite log so far and I am in fact convinced that God made this world solely so this piece of text could one day be written.